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Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1631296804403-BHC1JRO45P9U6ACMCT7H/Screen+Shot+2021-09-10+at+1.57.47+PM+2.png Press - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.thedinnerparty.org/mothersday2019 daily 0.75 2025-08-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557288723968-T9BADXCV644JS9SH9LVF/Uzair%2BHussain.jpg Mother's Day Uzair | Naperville, IL What is your mom's or child's name? Talat Hussain What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? The aroma of her cooking that reached every inch of the house when I’d wake up or arrive home from school. What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? I miss her hugs and the way she secretly prayed for my happiness. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557206709041-UTV819F9G1MMX0WK3XD8/Sarah%252BFlores.jpg Mother's Day Sarah | Houston, TX What is your mom's or child's name? Rita Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? As her days were coming to an end, I would hold her hand and listen to her advice about life. My mother said, ‘You have to travel the world, even if I am not here to experience it with you. My love will always find you.’ I took that advice to heart and have recently experienced study abroad trips to Italy and Jamaica. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557288315780-XRMJWUR3ZMC1O0JI8TYJ/Amory%2BTetteh.jpg Mother's Day Amory | Potomac, MD What is your mom’s name? Yeama Tetteh What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? My favorite memory was when my mom would dance in the kitchen while my sister and I made a beat for her to dance to (we obviously had to record this Emmy nominated routine haha). What is Mother’s Day like for you now? My mother actually passed away on Mother’s Day last year (I know she went out like a champ lol). This will be my first Mother’s Day without her. I haven’t had the strength to visit her grave since her funeral last year so my family and I are going to celebrate both the holiday and her one year anniversary. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557205951861-YABVZ4QQ69DSKMLU6CVT/Amanda+Gintoft.jpg Mother's Day Amanda | Milwaukee WI What is your mom's or child's name? Greta Is there anything else that you want to share? I'm a mother to a child here on earth, a child in my heart, and a third child that we're about to bring into this world. I'm a mother with a broken heart that is so full. I'm a mother who misses her daughter with every breath. I'm a mother who has 17 days of memories with her daughter and a lifetime of "what ifs". I'm a mother who is sad on Mother's Day because I wish my daughter were here with my son drawing me awful pictures. I'm a mother who feels ignored and different because people are uncomfortable acknowledging my status as a bereaved mom and that my daughter lived. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557270680437-GPP0E1C5A9R1M5WJ8FB3/Michael%2BBishop.jpg Mother's Day Michael | Los Angeles, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Ellen Eisenmass Barshop What do you wish people would ask you about your mom or child? How much she lived for her family. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557269535459-97MZVU59G4E9QI7I4J0U/Amber+Smith.jpg Mother's Day Amber | Milwaukee, WI What’s your mom’s name? Dianne Shanabruch What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom or child? My best friend flew in from Texas and didn't leave my apartment for a week after her funeral. She literally just worked from my apartment while I went to work. In the time that I felt the most alone, it was so nice to come home to her and not an empty apartment. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557269836878-TVX2NE7WQCDEDTJ18S8H/Gabriela+O_Leary.JPG Mother's Day Gabriela | New York, NY What is your mom's or child's name? Patricia What is Mother’s Day like for you now? As this mother’s day comes around, I’ve been thinking about my mom as someone who held so much loss in her life. Like me, she lost two of her immediate family members in a family of four by the time she was thirty. I’ve been wondering how she did it, how she held it all in balance — the vivaciousness, the aliveness, the energy, the loss. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557270038353-3IOXZE1Y37513H16F8I4/Caroline+Cormier+4.jpg Mother's Day Caroline | Berlin, Germany What is your mom's or child's name? Kathaleen What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? When I was in the 10th grade, I asked my Mom to help me with one of my school projects. She got so into the project that she ended up convincing me that we should break into the old, abandoned (and supposedly haunted) girls’ private school nearby to where we lived so that she could help me take photos. Thanks to her, I ended up getting an A+ on that project. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557271072178-3U3M0CTFZJRVEB47A3I5/Anne+Hsu.JPG Mother's Day Anne | South Pasadena, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Amy What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? I flew home to LA from NYC for vacation maybe 6 or 7 years ago. My parents picked me up, and on the drive home my mom was super excited to tell me that she and my dad had finally purchased a new couch! (It as many years in the making...) Without skipping a beat, she whipped around in the passenger seat and looked behind her where I was sitting and said, "so no farting on the new couch, OKAY?!" I can still see her grinning face, I can still hear her giggle...and as I'm typing this, I'm smiling because I'm reminded of just how silly and cheesy my mom was. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557270453090-6WMLAU6YO3D0025RGM2Q/Jasmine+Masand.jpg Mother's Day Jasmine | Cambridge, MA What is your mom's or child's name? Alix What do you wish people would ask you about your mom or child? I wish people would express openness to hear more about her life and career, instead of asking how she died. My mom was truly a renaissance woman: a double black belt, an entrepreneur, a computer programmer, and so many other things. I really treasure having space to share those things, and her name (Alix), when I can. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557289026815-XOJFGPM4WX9XBB28ZQHZ/Theo%2BMarshall.jpg Mother's Day Theo | Chicago, IL What is your mom's or child's name? Kimberly What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? When she was first diagnosed the second time, we had a dance party the next day to Lady Gaga. I think she knew that cancer would be it, but it centered me because she had so much life. It's a memory that holds makes me smile. I posted it on IG before taking it down because I felt too sacred. What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom or child? My best friends sent a care package during my first holiday without her. It was just wonderful to have it acknowledged. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557206372846-SGWYVKJXQ4VLXCOIDKLP/Nate+Santa+Maria.jpg Mother's Day Nathalie | Charlotte, NC What is your mom's or child's name? Estella What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? I miss how fucking resilient she was. My mother *never* complained. Not of a headache, not of being tired, not even when her cerebellum was shrinking and her body was failing her. My sister and I often say she truly was a saint. What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom or child? My best friend came over while waiting for the coroner to come pick up my mom so I wouldn't be alone, and then took the day off after and made me two gallons of Cuban chicken soup. She knows I don't keep food down easily when I am anxious and she worked on that recipe the entire day. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557270832922-PDPMFOFZH586UECRH2P6/Rachel+Reichblum+1.jpg Mother's Day Rachel | San Francisco, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Diane What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom or child? Someone who wasn't a particularly close friend had gone back through my Instagram account and read the captions I had included on photos with my mom. She then sent me a text being like wow I could really learn xyz about your mom based on how you talked about her and clearly she passed that on to you. That was so comforting to know that even people in my life who had never met her and never would could feel and find some kind of connection to her. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557271028516-C7VY3IC5W4CGPOAQYFLS/Sandy%2BCooper.jpg Mother's Day Sandy | Calgary, Canada What is your mom's or child's name? Gayleen What is Mother’s Day like for you now? Hard. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557510391667-SS8T99IV29B5LODNMANG/Rob%252BBraid.jpg Mother's Day Robert | Saskatoon, Canada What is your mom's or child's name? Marjorie What do you wish people would ask you about your mom? I love it when people simply ask me to talk about her in whatever way I would like. When someone says "tell me about your mom." I love telling people about how she was considered the "doughnut lady" by my friends in elementary school because she brought doughnuts to every school function, soccer game, community BBQ, every single event. I love telling people about how committed she was to her profession as a Physical Therapist, and how she was always trying to expand her knowledge and abilities when it came to working with her clients. I love to share how nurturing and caring she was, always taking a sick day whenever I was sick, or laying in bed with me if I had a bad dream or just needed some extra attention. I remember mom dancing in front of me as I was grumpy, just trying to get me to crack a smile. It would take all of my best effort to hold back from smiling, but she would always eventually succeed. I just love sharing stories about her. I love sharing my experience with her as a mother. I'm finally starting to be able to reflect on mom more as an imperfect, but perfectly flawed human, rather than as a flawless saint. It feels good to see her so fully, and to finally be able to talk about all of the stories without worrying about having to protect her or her memory anymore. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557271299840-OT9XYYHG1ISTA8RML8G2/Clarie+Tinsley.jpg Mother's Day Claire | Washington D.C. What is your mom's or child's name? Kathryn What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? My mom was the only person in the world who fully understood me. She and I shared the same sense of humor, many of the same interests and passions, and a connection that no one else can match. She was my anchor. I adored her, and I know she adored me too. It's most difficult now to experience all these moments both large and small and not be able to get her perspective. My college graduation, my first job, my first heartbreak, my decision to change career paths - the fact that I'll never get to discuss these with her continues to sting. And the small things too - a new dress, a TV show she'd love, a tough day at work. In some ways, those hurt even more. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557271398898-WHMZ4WMKNRLLC2H3R3T3/Corinne+Kalasky.jpg Mother's Day Corinne | Portland, OR What is your mom's or child's name? Barbara What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? I was a teenager and, in typical guilt-ridden Catholic fashion, I confessed to her that I'd gotten drunk at a party and was so ashamed and was probably an alcoholic and would never drink again, and she just looked at me and started laughing hysterically. What is Mother’s Day like for you now? This'll be my 9th motherless Mother's Day, and every year really is a little easier than the last. I usually spend it with my best friend, whose mom passed away a year after mine, far away from brunches and social media. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557271508486-2KM2NLJCVID17W2OYJUH/Danielle+Noble.jpeg Mother's Day Danielle | California What is your mom's or child's name? Carmen What do you wish people would ask you about your mom or child? I wish people would ask about how she was as a parent, and how we interacted before her death. Our relationship was flawed, but I think it’s necessary to honor all of it, even the less than ideal aspects. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557271655195-KYVTWEIUDVPN4XXAAOG0/Erinne+Silver.jpg Mother's Day Erinne | Foxborough, MA What is your mom's or child's name? Kathleen What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? I miss her being there and her ridiculous knowledge of everything biology. Any medical question she knew the answer to. And now that I'm a teacher and I teach Biology to middle school, I think of her every day while I teach. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557271795610-XOU1EDZ5WH775INFJ2TG/Deirdre+Turner+1.JPG Mother's Day Deirdre | Richmond, VA What is your mom's or child's name? Erin McLoughlin What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom or child Bought me a book called “Things I Wish I Knew Before My Mom Died.” I read it in a day on the one year anniversary of my mom’s death. It was exactly what I needed and didn’t know it! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557271864047-VCPHV3NX4NOB8MCRNN95/Emma+Olswing.JPG Mother's Day Emma | Brooklyn, NY What is your mom's or child's name? Lisa What is Mother’s Day like for you now? Being “unmothered” (a term coined by Megan O’Rourke I think, which I first encountered in a story by Ruth Margalit in @newyorkermag) is seeing her everywhere, it’s picking up the phone to call her, it’s waking up from a dream she visited me in and again, for a split moment upon waking, forgetting. Every time I forget it’s followed by this moment of profound loss - not just that I’ve lost her but that I feel lost myself, like I made a wrong turn somewhere and oh, if only I could go back. I would do anything to return to even our worst moments together. They tell me not to dwell on the negative - to remember the good things - her ability to make friends with anyone, her creativity, her jubilance. But truly it’s times like this in which it feels most appropriate to sit in the pain (or sometimes, numbness) of losing it all. Like any other holiday in which we temporarily remove ourselves from the routine of life, it’s this day that allows me to step away from the new normal. To honor her - honor that she’s gone, honor that it hurts worse than anything else. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557286728662-SSSQGJDCA8DHU48338P8/Laura+Grimes.jpg Mother's Day Laura | Morton, IL What is your mom's or child's name? Sybil Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?I I wrote this on my first Mother's Day without my mom. This year will be my 4th. So while on most days, I have lost of words for anyone willing to read or listen, today I have very few. I am forever thankful for the woman who gave me life and filled it with love, support, encouragement, and laughter. She made me brave and strong and independent (and a little bit sassy). She was my best friend and closest confidant. When I get so sad about life without her and I feel like a piece of me is missing, I remember how truly blessed I was to have a mom whose absence is felt so strongly. Thank you and I love you. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287043380-FG8ZWQC5QMT8MPGEV54I/Laura%2BKaufman.jpg Mother's Day Laura | San Francisco, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Nancy What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? My mom was an avid tennis player and got my sisters and I into tennis when we were young. Most of the fondest memories with my mom relate to tennis because it was such a huge part of my upbringing. My favorite memory was when we were at a tennis tournament and I lost to the #1 seed in a very close 10-point tiebreaker for the 3rd set. I was so devastated about losing that I started to cry once we got into the car. My mom hugged and consoled me for what felt like eternity. She told me that she never cared if I won or lost, she'd always be there for me and just wanted to make sure I was having fun out on the court. She always said the the wisest things when I needed it most, and this moment stands out as it made me feel the most connected to her and her love of the sport shining through to her kids. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287076473-XMLXONSVJJ1QIJZ19FNF/Lela%2BRondeau.jpg Mother's Day Lela | Los Angeles, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Linda What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? The blanket of protection I felt knowing she was with me. Her laugh. The way she had creative solutions to every problem. What is Mother’s Day like for you now? Challenging. I am a mom to my daughters and celebrate with them but also feel a deep sense of remorse that my own mother is not here to celebrate. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287138168-8SF1WN3CC3XKWE5U4ES4/Lisa+Poplasky+1.JPG Mother's Day Maggie | Chicago, IL What is your mom's or child's name? Joanne What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? It’s so hard to pick one. But, when my mom met my son, Henry. for the first time it was pure magic. She lit up in a way I’d never seen before. What is Mother’s Day like for you now? It’s hard. I have two small kids and so my husband tries to make the day special for me, but it’s hard to be fully present. I always try to get to the cemetery and leave her flowers. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287105401-KNGAXDGJ06PGDA0JXQD9/Lisa+Poplasky+2.JPG Mother's Day Lisa | Fremont, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Dee What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? She always woke up with a wonderful sunny disposition in the best mood possible. My dad used to say "if you could bottle the energy your mom has in the morning, we would be millionaires!" What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? She could always ground me and remind me that I was doing a bang up job at this life thing, and that I shouldn't be so hard on myself. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287220067-LH15D85RZZL5P59XB7XE/Mackenzie%2BAlleman.jpg Mother's Day Mackenzie | Philadelphia, PA What is your mom's or child's name? Melissa What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? I miss her voice. She was my sounding board when I was having emotional moments. She let me get things out and didn’t ever make me feel wrong for feeling them. She listened and let me vent. I don’t have that person now and it’s extremely hard. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287426260-CTI10Q9WWI129A0KSNJT/Marielle%2BBryant.jpg Mother's Day Marielle | Raleigh, NC What is your mom's or child's name? Elizabeth Madden-Zibman What do you wish people would ask you about your mom or child? Nothing - I just want people to be comfortable asking or talking about my Mom. I love talking about her because she was and is my beating heart. I want people to know that just because I become sad or cry when talking about my Mom does not mean we avoid the topic. It means we need to talk about her more because that is how she continues to live within me and all of us. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287556380-HA1J0B1KY7BQWW6RF6AS/Meghan+Blickman.jpg Mother's Day Meghan | Philadelphia, PA What is your mom's or child's name? Teresa What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? My mom, Teresa McCue Blickman, moved to Doylestown, PA for the last month of President Obama's 2012 campaign. I had been working there as a field organizer since August and was completely overwhelmed. She joined my volunteer team, knocked hundreds of voters' doors, made thousands of Get Out The Vote phone calls, and reassured me that I was good at my job, as only a mom can. Late one night, another volunteer, Scott, called me and said "I have to share with you, your mom won't stop making calls even though it's after 9pm. She just told me 'you're making calls for President Obama, but I'm making calls for my kid'." Mom died from glioblastoma in July 2015 and the way she was able to show her love for me changed a lot over the duration of her disease. On the day where she lost her speech, the day where we started hospice, and the days since she died, I think back to 2012. I think back to her telling Scott that everything she did that month was for me, and I remember exactly what it felt like to be loved by her. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287656170-R8AVCHBSZI5Y6KC7385I/Meghan%2BMaloney.jpg Mother's Day Meghan | Carson, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Terri What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? My mom was the queen of epic road trips! We've toured most of the Western United States together, and it was a family tradition to see as many national parks as possible. I credit my love for nature and the American West to her. We've been to Utah, Nevada, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, up and down California, Baja California, and Arizona. She always packed a cooler full of snacks and beverages because she didn't want to spend so much money eating out at restaurants. She would often stuff a whole pizza or a bucket of fried chicken in the cooler, and we'd snack off of that for days. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287709067-1EF13DYOI4FXXW9AEL7D/Meredith+Clancy.jpg Mother's Day Meredith | San Marcos, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Pam What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom or child? The entire community around us pitched in to simply be there. I think we were all in shock, but since she had touched so many lives through teaching and parenting and volunteering, people came out of the woodwork to provide meals, help plan her memorial, and share their memories. But one of the most helpful things--to this day--are those who knew her and remember her to us on her birthday or on mothers' day to let us know that they haven't forgotten her either... that the pain is still present for them too. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287718666-T1DBBXEIIBOJKGYHR0LD/Siobhan+Henderson.png Mother's Day Siobhan | Sunderland, MA What is your mom's or child's name? Kathie What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? She was an artist, and I used to find little half-sketches everywhere. She'd do them on any paper, and I honestly think she didn't even notice she was doing it half the time. The last one I found was in a notebook that I thought was empty- I got halfway through it, turned a page and there was a sketch of me watching tv. What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom or child? I hate to be a downer, but not much. I was 17 and the people around me were either seriously grieving themselves, or couldn't comprehend how to help a teen in the midst of that. I got a lot of "I'll stand in for your mom/ I'm your mom now" from people who meant well, but it actually was more hurtful. I already HAD a mom, she just wasn't around anymore. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557271191868-SDUDX6XNB8X049RH1TLL/Becky+Jacobson.jpg Mother's Day Becky | Medford, MA What is your mom's or child's name? Julie What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? I have so many favorite memories - family vacations, shopping trips, weekends spent at our summer house in Maine. Birthday celebrations were always a favorite as my brother and I were both born on the 4th of July (9 years apart!) and my mom absolutely loved everything about the holiday and everything patriotic. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557288464751-CWWDQBY1TMNYYYFLG0PJ/Annette%2BCappellino.jpg Mother's Day Anette | New York, NY What is your mom's or child's name? Mary What do you wish people would ask you about your mom or child? “What’s one memory you have with her that you’ve thought of recently?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557269327359-JUP2LB4VGV3P5ASHM8S5/Brenna+Lakeson.jpeg Mother's Day Brenna | Atlanta, GA What is your mom's or child's name? Marcia What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? I remember her waking me up around 10pm one time so that I could lick the spoon after she made brownies. What is Mother’s Day like for you now Conflicting. I have a step mom so I feel the need to celebrate but also want space to grieve. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557288526809-E2OHYWDKZN7M479ASUMD/Laura+McCommons+1.jpeg Mother's Day Laura | Denver, CO What’s your mom’s name? Carol McCommons What is Mother’s Day like for you now?I’ll send cards or messages to all the amazing mothers in my life when I’m up for it. I try to do something she would have enjoyed - but some years are difficult and I hibernate for the day and allow myself the grace to embrace whatever emotions I’m feeling. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?I just want to say thank you for creating this organization and making a “home” for those of us who never wanted to be in this club. For so many years, I felt isolated and misunderstood because of this incomprehensible loss. It’s comforting to hear “me too” and know I’m not alone. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557288883963-L1XIZSADAPN3OJ7YGFPP/Brianna+Baurichter.jpg Mother's Day Brianna | Milwaukee, WI What’s your mom’s name? Sylvia What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom or child? After my mom died, my aunt and my mom's best friend individually told me that I 'was a good daughter' for all that I did to take care of my mom during her illness. It hurt to hear it in the past tense, but it was validating to know that other people recognized all that I did and tried to do to show her that I loved her. My mother herself said she knew "I would do anything for her," and it helped to know that other people saw it was true even when she wasn't around to tell me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557514464828-4EQWTDLHDTY5BBK37J18/Jessie%2BLaney.jpg Mother's Day Jessie | Charlotte, NC What is your mom's or child's name? Jan What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? Her smile and laugh. What is Mother’s Day like for you now? Mother’s Day. It was the last holiday we had together before my mom passed. So it’s a different level of emotion and longing with that added degree. I find balance in the day with honoring my honorary moms who step up and show up for me, I let the feels come and own them now (that took time) and I now have decided to honor mom that day in someway. I’m glad I told my mom I loved her every night and not just on a holiday- she deserved that every day. May you find the space you need to balance some joy, sorrow, longing and remembrance on this day. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557270744085-RDKFSIR29HYDMORHBK3V/Paula+Flake+2.jpg Mother's Day Paula | Ann Arbor, MI What is your mom's or child's name? Myrna What is Mother’s Day like for you now? It's a tough one, while I am a motherless mom, I am also a bereaved mom too. Multifaceted feelings about this day as a whole. I enjoy spending time with my husband, and my other children, but there is definitely a palpable missing of spirit...his smile...his cute antics! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557463811729-9B9VXW9HIW3XGQ1ADWRZ/Michelle%2BGliko.jpg Mother's Day Michelle | Roseville, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Yolanda What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? The Mexican yell she would get out after she took a shot of tequila. Also, all the mornings we sat together talking over coffee. What is Mother’s Day like for you now? This is the first mother’s day with my mom not mentally present. She has a rare, terminal illness, CJD, that is like a very rapidly progressing dementia. She is on hospice. She hasn’t spoken in 3 months and cannot move. Seeing her suffer like this is awful. I don’t know for sure if she will make until Mother’s Day or what we will do this year or following years. I can’t bear to think of it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557464333010-WBTQD9516VWBPULPNL56/Erin+Chezick.jpeg Mother's Day Erin | Ottawa, Canada What is your mom's or child's name? Kathie What is your favorite memory of your mom? When I was in elementary school she picked me up under the cover story that I had an orthodontist appointment and we played hookey for the afternoon. Just us two. What is Mother’s Day like for you now? It always lands around my birthday, so it’s a double hit - this will be my 10th since she died. It always makes me miss her more than usual and feel a sense of how unfair it is that she’s not here. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557510320309-2V6JDG87QIV0SFEGMWB8/Julie%252BLavelle-Hutchings.jpg Mother's Day Julie | Toronto, Canada What is your mom's or child's name? Anne What is your favorite memory of your mom? Besides almost everything, I love to think about our almost daily phone conversations and how we’d chat about everything. She was such a good friend to me. Also, her laugh, she had the most infectious, loud, beautiful laugh. What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? How she was the glue for our family, and we didn’t realize it until she was gone. She cared for everyone so wholeheartedly, she made us all feel so loved and special. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557270318369-MAJP2OM109LGZTBHMMJL/Bryna%252BTalamantez%252B3.jpg Mother's Day Bryna | Plano, TX What is your mom's or child's name? Debbi What do you wish people would ask you about your mom or child? I wish they would ask anything about her. Many people that I know now did not know her or if they had met her, they didn't know her well. I wish they would just ask something about her, anything, so that the thoughts and memories I have could get out of my head and be spoken out loud, even if just for a minute. I think people can sometimes be afraid to ask us about our loved ones because they do not want to upset those of us who are grieving, but I think what people don't realize is that we like to have thoughts of our loved ones shared. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557514826322-NI0A9DD5JYEWARR8ARQL/Jessica+Hersh.jpeg Mother's Day Jessica | Philadelphia, PA What is your mom's or child's name? Sarajane What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? Some days it’s her laugh. Some days it’s knowing exactly how she would respond to something. Some days it’s the way she used to shimmy her shoulder as she danced while driving. Some days it’s the smell of the BVLGARI perfume she’d wear for special occasions. Some days it’s missing her for events that have yet to happen. But today, in this moment, I miss our mutual, undying passion and joint-absorption of Bravo! TV shows and celebrity news. I’m learning in my grief that chronic pain is a given. There is the inevitable, perpetual dull aching pain every single day because she’s not here. There will be heightened, flare ups and outbursts of pain from her absence during big life moments. But it’s these silly, *nothing* thoughts, moments, and situations that yield the greatest stinging, pangs of pain. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557602154445-5XJF72TCFIME9R8N0YIH/Robert+Orr.jpg Mother's Day Robert | Dallas, TX What is your mom's or child's name? Cindy What is your favorite memory of your mom? One of my mother's main passions in life was cooking. We had so many cook books it filled rows and rows of shelves. I loved spending time in the kitchen with her and cooking. That passion for cooking still drives me, and whenever I cook I try to put that passion in every meal. I hope to have as many cook books as she had one day. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557289252893-S3R62OGZV7G2Q5W298O5/TDP-logomark.png Mother's Day Keri | Indianapolis, IN What is your mom's or child's name? Cinda What is Mother’s Day like for you now? Complicated; I’m an adoptive parent, so it feels like I’m a mother at the expense of another, and my mom is gone. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557289616906-CXX9TPYB20SQV6ZKC0M2/TDP-logomark.png Mother's Day Sundae | San Diego, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Judith What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? My mom's cooking -- the aroma filling the house -- and eating her favorite foods with her. Lounging on the couch and watching Filipino dramas on television together. Her hanging out with me while I'm doing my homework at the dinner table. All of her corny jokes and sayings. Seeing my mom and my dad make fun of each other. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557289255931-4FDVS7VJBX6SM4HY9AOC/TDP-logomark.png Mother's Day Marietta | Columbus, OH What is your mom's or child's name? Mary What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? I miss the way she made me feel so special and loved. I miss her quick wit and dark sense of humor. I miss making fun of Lifetime movies with her. She was my best friend and I miss everything about her. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557289241593-1RCEE2HIDQD73I8RQ02U/TDP-logomark.png Mother's Day Corine | Eugene, OR What is your mom's or child's name? Julie Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? In the first two years following my mom's death, I would write letters to her to help me name and process my grief. I wanted to share part of one of those letters in honor of her: "I miss you so much more than I let myself admit these days. It is in times like these that I long, with such a depth it hurts my bones, that you were here to remind me of what resilience is, to model the unwavering strength you moored from your unflappable faith in the goodness life has to offer, to tell me 'you got this.' I feel lost, not that fun wander-lusty lost, the fear generating, anxiety provoking kind of lost. Questioning my career, relationships, likes and dislikes, passion, value, purpose, identity, and as I do so, I seem to continuously deny the connection between your death and this endless anxious uncertainty. Until now. In a recent session with my therapist I came in feeling jumbled. Unable to untangle it all, my therapist continued to listen and prompt with questions for deeper and deeper reflection. And as I unraveled in her office, it became untangled. 'I feel like I owe it to her to finally practice the self-love she only just began to know in the end of her life. I am so sick of being dissatisfied with my life.' I owe it to you to live my life finally content with who I am, energized by the endless process of becoming. Satisfied with what I give each day, fearlessly following my curiosities and finding joy. You spent so much of your life giving of yourself to others and bending to expectations and images that others held for you. It wasn’t until after your diagnosis you started to embrace the art and discipline of self-love. I want nothing more than to honor your life and love by loving and living my life well. I wish you were still here to show me how, to encourage me to be brave, but I guess that will be my work alone from here on out." https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557288723968-T9BADXCV644JS9SH9LVF/Uzair%2BHussain.jpg Mother's Day Uzair | Naperville, IL What is your mom's or child's name? Talat Hussain What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? The aroma of her cooking that reached every inch of the house when I’d wake up or arrive home from school. What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? I miss her hugs and the way she secretly prayed for my happiness. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557206709041-UTV819F9G1MMX0WK3XD8/Sarah%252BFlores.jpg Mother's Day Sarah | Houston, TX What is your mom's or child's name? Rita Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? As her days were coming to an end, I would hold her hand and listen to her advice about life. My mother said, ‘You have to travel the world, even if I am not here to experience it with you. My love will always find you.’ I took that advice to heart and have recently experienced study abroad trips to Italy and Jamaica. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557288315780-XRMJWUR3ZMC1O0JI8TYJ/Amory%2BTetteh.jpg Mother's Day Amory | Potomac, MD What is your mom’s name? Yeama Tetteh What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? My favorite memory was when my mom would dance in the kitchen while my sister and I made a beat for her to dance to (we obviously had to record this Emmy nominated routine haha). What is Mother’s Day like for you now? My mother actually passed away on Mother’s Day last year (I know she went out like a champ lol). This will be my first Mother’s Day without her. I haven’t had the strength to visit her grave since her funeral last year so my family and I are going to celebrate both the holiday and her one year anniversary. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557205951861-YABVZ4QQ69DSKMLU6CVT/Amanda+Gintoft.jpg Mother's Day Amanda | Milwaukee WI What is your mom's or child's name? Greta Is there anything else that you want to share? I'm a mother to a child here on earth, a child in my heart, and a third child that we're about to bring into this world. I'm a mother with a broken heart that is so full. I'm a mother who misses her daughter with every breath. I'm a mother who has 17 days of memories with her daughter and a lifetime of "what ifs". I'm a mother who is sad on Mother's Day because I wish my daughter were here with my son drawing me awful pictures. I'm a mother who feels ignored and different because people are uncomfortable acknowledging my status as a bereaved mom and that my daughter lived. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557270680437-GPP0E1C5A9R1M5WJ8FB3/Michael%2BBishop.jpg Mother's Day Michael | Los Angeles, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Ellen Eisenmass Barshop What do you wish people would ask you about your mom or child? How much she lived for her family. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557269535459-97MZVU59G4E9QI7I4J0U/Amber+Smith.jpg Mother's Day Amber | Milwaukee, WI What’s your mom’s name? Dianne Shanabruch What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom or child? My best friend flew in from Texas and didn't leave my apartment for a week after her funeral. She literally just worked from my apartment while I went to work. In the time that I felt the most alone, it was so nice to come home to her and not an empty apartment. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557269836878-TVX2NE7WQCDEDTJ18S8H/Gabriela+O_Leary.JPG Mother's Day Gabriela | New York, NY What is your mom's or child's name? Patricia What is Mother’s Day like for you now? As this mother’s day comes around, I’ve been thinking about my mom as someone who held so much loss in her life. Like me, she lost two of her immediate family members in a family of four by the time she was thirty. I’ve been wondering how she did it, how she held it all in balance — the vivaciousness, the aliveness, the energy, the loss. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557270038353-3IOXZE1Y37513H16F8I4/Caroline+Cormier+4.jpg Mother's Day Caroline | Berlin, Germany What is your mom's or child's name? Kathaleen What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? When I was in the 10th grade, I asked my Mom to help me with one of my school projects. She got so into the project that she ended up convincing me that we should break into the old, abandoned (and supposedly haunted) girls’ private school nearby to where we lived so that she could help me take photos. Thanks to her, I ended up getting an A+ on that project. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557271072178-3U3M0CTFZJRVEB47A3I5/Anne+Hsu.JPG Mother's Day Anne | South Pasadena, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Amy What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? I flew home to LA from NYC for vacation maybe 6 or 7 years ago. My parents picked me up, and on the drive home my mom was super excited to tell me that she and my dad had finally purchased a new couch! (It as many years in the making...) Without skipping a beat, she whipped around in the passenger seat and looked behind her where I was sitting and said, "so no farting on the new couch, OKAY?!" I can still see her grinning face, I can still hear her giggle...and as I'm typing this, I'm smiling because I'm reminded of just how silly and cheesy my mom was. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557270453090-6WMLAU6YO3D0025RGM2Q/Jasmine+Masand.jpg Mother's Day Jasmine | Cambridge, MA What is your mom's or child's name? Alix What do you wish people would ask you about your mom or child? I wish people would express openness to hear more about her life and career, instead of asking how she died. My mom was truly a renaissance woman: a double black belt, an entrepreneur, a computer programmer, and so many other things. I really treasure having space to share those things, and her name (Alix), when I can. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557289026815-XOJFGPM4WX9XBB28ZQHZ/Theo%2BMarshall.jpg Mother's Day Theo | Chicago, IL What is your mom's or child's name? Kimberly What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? When she was first diagnosed the second time, we had a dance party the next day to Lady Gaga. I think she knew that cancer would be it, but it centered me because she had so much life. It's a memory that holds makes me smile. I posted it on IG before taking it down because I felt too sacred. What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom or child? My best friends sent a care package during my first holiday without her. It was just wonderful to have it acknowledged. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557206372846-SGWYVKJXQ4VLXCOIDKLP/Nate+Santa+Maria.jpg Mother's Day Nathalie | Charlotte, NC What is your mom's or child's name? Estella What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? I miss how fucking resilient she was. My mother *never* complained. Not of a headache, not of being tired, not even when her cerebellum was shrinking and her body was failing her. My sister and I often say she truly was a saint. What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom or child? My best friend came over while waiting for the coroner to come pick up my mom so I wouldn't be alone, and then took the day off after and made me two gallons of Cuban chicken soup. She knows I don't keep food down easily when I am anxious and she worked on that recipe the entire day. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557270832922-PDPMFOFZH586UECRH2P6/Rachel+Reichblum+1.jpg Mother's Day Rachel | San Francisco, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Diane What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom or child? Someone who wasn't a particularly close friend had gone back through my Instagram account and read the captions I had included on photos with my mom. She then sent me a text being like wow I could really learn xyz about your mom based on how you talked about her and clearly she passed that on to you. That was so comforting to know that even people in my life who had never met her and never would could feel and find some kind of connection to her. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557271028516-C7VY3IC5W4CGPOAQYFLS/Sandy%2BCooper.jpg Mother's Day Sandy | Calgary, Canada What is your mom's or child's name? Gayleen What is Mother’s Day like for you now? Hard. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557510391667-SS8T99IV29B5LODNMANG/Rob%252BBraid.jpg Mother's Day Robert | Saskatoon, Canada What is your mom's or child's name? Marjorie What do you wish people would ask you about your mom? I love it when people simply ask me to talk about her in whatever way I would like. When someone says "tell me about your mom." I love telling people about how she was considered the "doughnut lady" by my friends in elementary school because she brought doughnuts to every school function, soccer game, community BBQ, every single event. I love telling people about how committed she was to her profession as a Physical Therapist, and how she was always trying to expand her knowledge and abilities when it came to working with her clients. I love to share how nurturing and caring she was, always taking a sick day whenever I was sick, or laying in bed with me if I had a bad dream or just needed some extra attention. I remember mom dancing in front of me as I was grumpy, just trying to get me to crack a smile. It would take all of my best effort to hold back from smiling, but she would always eventually succeed. I just love sharing stories about her. I love sharing my experience with her as a mother. I'm finally starting to be able to reflect on mom more as an imperfect, but perfectly flawed human, rather than as a flawless saint. It feels good to see her so fully, and to finally be able to talk about all of the stories without worrying about having to protect her or her memory anymore. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557271299840-OT9XYYHG1ISTA8RML8G2/Clarie+Tinsley.jpg Mother's Day Claire | Washington D.C. What is your mom's or child's name? Kathryn What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? My mom was the only person in the world who fully understood me. She and I shared the same sense of humor, many of the same interests and passions, and a connection that no one else can match. She was my anchor. I adored her, and I know she adored me too. It's most difficult now to experience all these moments both large and small and not be able to get her perspective. My college graduation, my first job, my first heartbreak, my decision to change career paths - the fact that I'll never get to discuss these with her continues to sting. And the small things too - a new dress, a TV show she'd love, a tough day at work. In some ways, those hurt even more. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557271398898-WHMZ4WMKNRLLC2H3R3T3/Corinne+Kalasky.jpg Mother's Day Corinne | Portland, OR What is your mom's or child's name? Barbara What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? I was a teenager and, in typical guilt-ridden Catholic fashion, I confessed to her that I'd gotten drunk at a party and was so ashamed and was probably an alcoholic and would never drink again, and she just looked at me and started laughing hysterically. What is Mother’s Day like for you now? This'll be my 9th motherless Mother's Day, and every year really is a little easier than the last. I usually spend it with my best friend, whose mom passed away a year after mine, far away from brunches and social media. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557271508486-2KM2NLJCVID17W2OYJUH/Danielle+Noble.jpeg Mother's Day Danielle | California What is your mom's or child's name? Carmen What do you wish people would ask you about your mom or child? I wish people would ask about how she was as a parent, and how we interacted before her death. Our relationship was flawed, but I think it’s necessary to honor all of it, even the less than ideal aspects. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557271655195-KYVTWEIUDVPN4XXAAOG0/Erinne+Silver.jpg Mother's Day Erinne | Foxborough, MA What is your mom's or child's name? Kathleen What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? I miss her being there and her ridiculous knowledge of everything biology. Any medical question she knew the answer to. And now that I'm a teacher and I teach Biology to middle school, I think of her every day while I teach. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557271795610-XOU1EDZ5WH775INFJ2TG/Deirdre+Turner+1.JPG Mother's Day Deirdre | Richmond, VA What is your mom's or child's name? Erin McLoughlin What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom or child Bought me a book called “Things I Wish I Knew Before My Mom Died.” I read it in a day on the one year anniversary of my mom’s death. It was exactly what I needed and didn’t know it! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557271864047-VCPHV3NX4NOB8MCRNN95/Emma+Olswing.JPG Mother's Day Emma | Brooklyn, NY What is your mom's or child's name? Lisa What is Mother’s Day like for you now? Being “unmothered” (a term coined by Megan O’Rourke I think, which I first encountered in a story by Ruth Margalit in @newyorkermag) is seeing her everywhere, it’s picking up the phone to call her, it’s waking up from a dream she visited me in and again, for a split moment upon waking, forgetting. Every time I forget it’s followed by this moment of profound loss - not just that I’ve lost her but that I feel lost myself, like I made a wrong turn somewhere and oh, if only I could go back. I would do anything to return to even our worst moments together. They tell me not to dwell on the negative - to remember the good things - her ability to make friends with anyone, her creativity, her jubilance. But truly it’s times like this in which it feels most appropriate to sit in the pain (or sometimes, numbness) of losing it all. Like any other holiday in which we temporarily remove ourselves from the routine of life, it’s this day that allows me to step away from the new normal. To honor her - honor that she’s gone, honor that it hurts worse than anything else. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557286728662-SSSQGJDCA8DHU48338P8/Laura+Grimes.jpg Mother's Day Laura | Morton, IL What is your mom's or child's name? Sybil Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?I I wrote this on my first Mother's Day without my mom. This year will be my 4th. So while on most days, I have lost of words for anyone willing to read or listen, today I have very few. I am forever thankful for the woman who gave me life and filled it with love, support, encouragement, and laughter. She made me brave and strong and independent (and a little bit sassy). She was my best friend and closest confidant. When I get so sad about life without her and I feel like a piece of me is missing, I remember how truly blessed I was to have a mom whose absence is felt so strongly. Thank you and I love you. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287043380-FG8ZWQC5QMT8MPGEV54I/Laura%2BKaufman.jpg Mother's Day Laura | San Francisco, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Nancy What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? My mom was an avid tennis player and got my sisters and I into tennis when we were young. Most of the fondest memories with my mom relate to tennis because it was such a huge part of my upbringing. My favorite memory was when we were at a tennis tournament and I lost to the #1 seed in a very close 10-point tiebreaker for the 3rd set. I was so devastated about losing that I started to cry once we got into the car. My mom hugged and consoled me for what felt like eternity. She told me that she never cared if I won or lost, she'd always be there for me and just wanted to make sure I was having fun out on the court. She always said the the wisest things when I needed it most, and this moment stands out as it made me feel the most connected to her and her love of the sport shining through to her kids. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287076473-XMLXONSVJJ1QIJZ19FNF/Lela%2BRondeau.jpg Mother's Day Lela | Los Angeles, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Linda What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? The blanket of protection I felt knowing she was with me. Her laugh. The way she had creative solutions to every problem. What is Mother’s Day like for you now? Challenging. I am a mom to my daughters and celebrate with them but also feel a deep sense of remorse that my own mother is not here to celebrate. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287138168-8SF1WN3CC3XKWE5U4ES4/Lisa+Poplasky+1.JPG Mother's Day Maggie | Chicago, IL What is your mom's or child's name? Joanne What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? It’s so hard to pick one. But, when my mom met my son, Henry. for the first time it was pure magic. She lit up in a way I’d never seen before. What is Mother’s Day like for you now? It’s hard. I have two small kids and so my husband tries to make the day special for me, but it’s hard to be fully present. I always try to get to the cemetery and leave her flowers. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287105401-KNGAXDGJ06PGDA0JXQD9/Lisa+Poplasky+2.JPG Mother's Day Lisa | Fremont, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Dee What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? She always woke up with a wonderful sunny disposition in the best mood possible. My dad used to say "if you could bottle the energy your mom has in the morning, we would be millionaires!" What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? She could always ground me and remind me that I was doing a bang up job at this life thing, and that I shouldn't be so hard on myself. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287220067-LH15D85RZZL5P59XB7XE/Mackenzie%2BAlleman.jpg Mother's Day Mackenzie | Philadelphia, PA What is your mom's or child's name? Melissa What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? I miss her voice. She was my sounding board when I was having emotional moments. She let me get things out and didn’t ever make me feel wrong for feeling them. She listened and let me vent. I don’t have that person now and it’s extremely hard. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287426260-CTI10Q9WWI129A0KSNJT/Marielle%2BBryant.jpg Mother's Day Marielle | Raleigh, NC What is your mom's or child's name? Elizabeth Madden-Zibman What do you wish people would ask you about your mom or child? Nothing - I just want people to be comfortable asking or talking about my Mom. I love talking about her because she was and is my beating heart. I want people to know that just because I become sad or cry when talking about my Mom does not mean we avoid the topic. It means we need to talk about her more because that is how she continues to live within me and all of us. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287556380-HA1J0B1KY7BQWW6RF6AS/Meghan+Blickman.jpg Mother's Day Meghan | Philadelphia, PA What is your mom's or child's name? Teresa What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? My mom, Teresa McCue Blickman, moved to Doylestown, PA for the last month of President Obama's 2012 campaign. I had been working there as a field organizer since August and was completely overwhelmed. She joined my volunteer team, knocked hundreds of voters' doors, made thousands of Get Out The Vote phone calls, and reassured me that I was good at my job, as only a mom can. Late one night, another volunteer, Scott, called me and said "I have to share with you, your mom won't stop making calls even though it's after 9pm. She just told me 'you're making calls for President Obama, but I'm making calls for my kid'." Mom died from glioblastoma in July 2015 and the way she was able to show her love for me changed a lot over the duration of her disease. On the day where she lost her speech, the day where we started hospice, and the days since she died, I think back to 2012. I think back to her telling Scott that everything she did that month was for me, and I remember exactly what it felt like to be loved by her. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287656170-R8AVCHBSZI5Y6KC7385I/Meghan%2BMaloney.jpg Mother's Day Meghan | Carson, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Terri What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? My mom was the queen of epic road trips! We've toured most of the Western United States together, and it was a family tradition to see as many national parks as possible. I credit my love for nature and the American West to her. We've been to Utah, Nevada, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, up and down California, Baja California, and Arizona. She always packed a cooler full of snacks and beverages because she didn't want to spend so much money eating out at restaurants. She would often stuff a whole pizza or a bucket of fried chicken in the cooler, and we'd snack off of that for days. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287709067-1EF13DYOI4FXXW9AEL7D/Meredith+Clancy.jpg Mother's Day Meredith | San Marcos, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Pam What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom or child? The entire community around us pitched in to simply be there. I think we were all in shock, but since she had touched so many lives through teaching and parenting and volunteering, people came out of the woodwork to provide meals, help plan her memorial, and share their memories. But one of the most helpful things--to this day--are those who knew her and remember her to us on her birthday or on mothers' day to let us know that they haven't forgotten her either... that the pain is still present for them too. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557287718666-T1DBBXEIIBOJKGYHR0LD/Siobhan+Henderson.png Mother's Day Siobhan | Sunderland, MA What is your mom's or child's name? Kathie What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? She was an artist, and I used to find little half-sketches everywhere. She'd do them on any paper, and I honestly think she didn't even notice she was doing it half the time. The last one I found was in a notebook that I thought was empty- I got halfway through it, turned a page and there was a sketch of me watching tv. What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom or child? I hate to be a downer, but not much. I was 17 and the people around me were either seriously grieving themselves, or couldn't comprehend how to help a teen in the midst of that. I got a lot of "I'll stand in for your mom/ I'm your mom now" from people who meant well, but it actually was more hurtful. I already HAD a mom, she just wasn't around anymore. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557271191868-SDUDX6XNB8X049RH1TLL/Becky+Jacobson.jpg Mother's Day Becky | Medford, MA What is your mom's or child's name? Julie What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? I have so many favorite memories - family vacations, shopping trips, weekends spent at our summer house in Maine. Birthday celebrations were always a favorite as my brother and I were both born on the 4th of July (9 years apart!) and my mom absolutely loved everything about the holiday and everything patriotic. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557288464751-CWWDQBY1TMNYYYFLG0PJ/Annette%2BCappellino.jpg Mother's Day Anette | New York, NY What is your mom's or child's name? Mary What do you wish people would ask you about your mom or child? “What’s one memory you have with her that you’ve thought of recently?” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557269327359-JUP2LB4VGV3P5ASHM8S5/Brenna+Lakeson.jpeg Mother's Day Brenna | Atlanta, GA What is your mom's or child's name? Marcia What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? I remember her waking me up around 10pm one time so that I could lick the spoon after she made brownies. What is Mother’s Day like for you now Conflicting. I have a step mom so I feel the need to celebrate but also want space to grieve. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557288526809-E2OHYWDKZN7M479ASUMD/Laura+McCommons+1.jpeg Mother's Day Laura | Denver, CO What’s your mom’s name? Carol McCommons What is Mother’s Day like for you now?I’ll send cards or messages to all the amazing mothers in my life when I’m up for it. I try to do something she would have enjoyed - but some years are difficult and I hibernate for the day and allow myself the grace to embrace whatever emotions I’m feeling. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you?I just want to say thank you for creating this organization and making a “home” for those of us who never wanted to be in this club. For so many years, I felt isolated and misunderstood because of this incomprehensible loss. It’s comforting to hear “me too” and know I’m not alone. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557288883963-L1XIZSADAPN3OJ7YGFPP/Brianna+Baurichter.jpg Mother's Day Brianna | Milwaukee, WI What’s your mom’s name? Sylvia What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom or child? After my mom died, my aunt and my mom's best friend individually told me that I 'was a good daughter' for all that I did to take care of my mom during her illness. It hurt to hear it in the past tense, but it was validating to know that other people recognized all that I did and tried to do to show her that I loved her. My mother herself said she knew "I would do anything for her," and it helped to know that other people saw it was true even when she wasn't around to tell me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557514464828-4EQWTDLHDTY5BBK37J18/Jessie%2BLaney.jpg Mother's Day Jessie | Charlotte, NC What is your mom's or child's name? Jan What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? Her smile and laugh. What is Mother’s Day like for you now? Mother’s Day. It was the last holiday we had together before my mom passed. So it’s a different level of emotion and longing with that added degree. I find balance in the day with honoring my honorary moms who step up and show up for me, I let the feels come and own them now (that took time) and I now have decided to honor mom that day in someway. I’m glad I told my mom I loved her every night and not just on a holiday- she deserved that every day. May you find the space you need to balance some joy, sorrow, longing and remembrance on this day. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557270744085-RDKFSIR29HYDMORHBK3V/Paula+Flake+2.jpg Mother's Day Paula | Ann Arbor, MI What is your mom's or child's name? Myrna What is Mother’s Day like for you now? It's a tough one, while I am a motherless mom, I am also a bereaved mom too. Multifaceted feelings about this day as a whole. I enjoy spending time with my husband, and my other children, but there is definitely a palpable missing of spirit...his smile...his cute antics! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557463811729-9B9VXW9HIW3XGQ1ADWRZ/Michelle%2BGliko.jpg Mother's Day Michelle | Roseville, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Yolanda What is your favorite memory of your mom or child? The Mexican yell she would get out after she took a shot of tequila. Also, all the mornings we sat together talking over coffee. What is Mother’s Day like for you now? This is the first mother’s day with my mom not mentally present. She has a rare, terminal illness, CJD, that is like a very rapidly progressing dementia. She is on hospice. She hasn’t spoken in 3 months and cannot move. Seeing her suffer like this is awful. I don’t know for sure if she will make until Mother’s Day or what we will do this year or following years. I can’t bear to think of it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557464333010-WBTQD9516VWBPULPNL56/Erin+Chezick.jpeg Mother's Day Erin | Ottawa, Canada What is your mom's or child's name? Kathie What is your favorite memory of your mom? When I was in elementary school she picked me up under the cover story that I had an orthodontist appointment and we played hookey for the afternoon. Just us two. What is Mother’s Day like for you now? It always lands around my birthday, so it’s a double hit - this will be my 10th since she died. It always makes me miss her more than usual and feel a sense of how unfair it is that she’s not here. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557510320309-2V6JDG87QIV0SFEGMWB8/Julie%252BLavelle-Hutchings.jpg Mother's Day Julie | Toronto, Canada What is your mom's or child's name? Anne What is your favorite memory of your mom? Besides almost everything, I love to think about our almost daily phone conversations and how we’d chat about everything. She was such a good friend to me. Also, her laugh, she had the most infectious, loud, beautiful laugh. What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? How she was the glue for our family, and we didn’t realize it until she was gone. She cared for everyone so wholeheartedly, she made us all feel so loved and special. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557270318369-MAJP2OM109LGZTBHMMJL/Bryna%252BTalamantez%252B3.jpg Mother's Day Bryna | Plano, TX What is your mom's or child's name? Debbi What do you wish people would ask you about your mom or child? I wish they would ask anything about her. Many people that I know now did not know her or if they had met her, they didn't know her well. I wish they would just ask something about her, anything, so that the thoughts and memories I have could get out of my head and be spoken out loud, even if just for a minute. I think people can sometimes be afraid to ask us about our loved ones because they do not want to upset those of us who are grieving, but I think what people don't realize is that we like to have thoughts of our loved ones shared. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557514826322-NI0A9DD5JYEWARR8ARQL/Jessica+Hersh.jpeg Mother's Day Jessica | Philadelphia, PA What is your mom's or child's name? Sarajane What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? Some days it’s her laugh. Some days it’s knowing exactly how she would respond to something. Some days it’s the way she used to shimmy her shoulder as she danced while driving. Some days it’s the smell of the BVLGARI perfume she’d wear for special occasions. Some days it’s missing her for events that have yet to happen. But today, in this moment, I miss our mutual, undying passion and joint-absorption of Bravo! TV shows and celebrity news. I’m learning in my grief that chronic pain is a given. There is the inevitable, perpetual dull aching pain every single day because she’s not here. There will be heightened, flare ups and outbursts of pain from her absence during big life moments. But it’s these silly, *nothing* thoughts, moments, and situations that yield the greatest stinging, pangs of pain. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557602154445-5XJF72TCFIME9R8N0YIH/Robert+Orr.jpg Mother's Day Robert | Dallas, TX What is your mom's or child's name? Cindy What is your favorite memory of your mom? One of my mother's main passions in life was cooking. We had so many cook books it filled rows and rows of shelves. I loved spending time in the kitchen with her and cooking. That passion for cooking still drives me, and whenever I cook I try to put that passion in every meal. I hope to have as many cook books as she had one day. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557289252893-S3R62OGZV7G2Q5W298O5/TDP-logomark.png Mother's Day Keri | Indianapolis, IN What is your mom's or child's name? Cinda What is Mother’s Day like for you now? Complicated; I’m an adoptive parent, so it feels like I’m a mother at the expense of another, and my mom is gone. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557289616906-CXX9TPYB20SQV6ZKC0M2/TDP-logomark.png Mother's Day Sundae | San Diego, CA What is your mom's or child's name? Judith What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? My mom's cooking -- the aroma filling the house -- and eating her favorite foods with her. Lounging on the couch and watching Filipino dramas on television together. Her hanging out with me while I'm doing my homework at the dinner table. All of her corny jokes and sayings. Seeing my mom and my dad make fun of each other. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557289255931-4FDVS7VJBX6SM4HY9AOC/TDP-logomark.png Mother's Day Marietta | Columbus, OH What is your mom's or child's name? Mary What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom or child? I miss the way she made me feel so special and loved. I miss her quick wit and dark sense of humor. I miss making fun of Lifetime movies with her. She was my best friend and I miss everything about her. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557289241593-1RCEE2HIDQD73I8RQ02U/TDP-logomark.png Mother's Day Corine | Eugene, OR What is your mom's or child's name? Julie Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? In the first two years following my mom's death, I would write letters to her to help me name and process my grief. I wanted to share part of one of those letters in honor of her: "I miss you so much more than I let myself admit these days. It is in times like these that I long, with such a depth it hurts my bones, that you were here to remind me of what resilience is, to model the unwavering strength you moored from your unflappable faith in the goodness life has to offer, to tell me 'you got this.' I feel lost, not that fun wander-lusty lost, the fear generating, anxiety provoking kind of lost. Questioning my career, relationships, likes and dislikes, passion, value, purpose, identity, and as I do so, I seem to continuously deny the connection between your death and this endless anxious uncertainty. Until now. In a recent session with my therapist I came in feeling jumbled. Unable to untangle it all, my therapist continued to listen and prompt with questions for deeper and deeper reflection. And as I unraveled in her office, it became untangled. 'I feel like I owe it to her to finally practice the self-love she only just began to know in the end of her life. I am so sick of being dissatisfied with my life.' I owe it to you to live my life finally content with who I am, energized by the endless process of becoming. Satisfied with what I give each day, fearlessly following my curiosities and finding joy. You spent so much of your life giving of yourself to others and bending to expectations and images that others held for you. It wasn’t until after your diagnosis you started to embrace the art and discipline of self-love. I want nothing more than to honor your life and love by loving and living my life well. I wish you were still here to show me how, to encourage me to be brave, but I guess that will be my work alone from here on out." https://www.thedinnerparty.org/how-to-not-be-an-asshole-about-suicide daily 0.75 2025-08-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1559088839280-1SUPDZT873ES32ZS3ND6/Baby+hand+to+face.jpg How to Not be an Asshole About Suicide Photo credit: Flicker user @Alpha https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1559088839280-1SUPDZT873ES32ZS3ND6/Baby+hand+to+face.jpg How to Not be an Asshole About Suicide Photo credit: Flicker user @Alpha https://www.thedinnerparty.org/fathers-day-2019 daily 0.75 2025-08-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560307460588-7G2VFAOZCN9IYBYQMKU1/Angeli%2BAgrawal.jpg Father's Day 2019 Angeli | San Francisco, CA What is your dad’s name? Anant What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss how playful my dad was. He was a business executive who ran multiple companies, but he always found time to come up with a ridiculous new nickname for his kids or send us meticulously narrated stories of our family dog chasing a lizard in the yard. I miss his love of learning. While other kids in our neighborhood were learning to play soccer or baseball, he deconstructed a radio for my sister and I and taught us how to put the entire thing back together again. I miss how he annoyed my mom and gave us something to talk about when I call her every week. I don't miss his alcoholism. I don't miss how it transformed him into this shell of a human, someone I didn't recognize and who literally shrank as he lost weight. I don't miss how his disease stole him from us far too soon. But over the last year, I've realized I'm also grateful that he was with us for as long as he was. What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I wish they would ask about him. Ask about my memories of him, ask what he was like, ask how I continue to stay connected with him after his passing, ask about the little things he did to annoy me, ask about the incredibly complicated feelings of relief and guilt I had when he died. I wish they would ask me about my experience of being in the hospital with him because I'm still not over it, and it's been a year. All I want to do is talk about him, and it feels like sometimes people are nervous to ask. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560208610652-0JHWX5IDFRCWOS41LK1A/Emmalee+Savage.jpg Father's Day 2019 Emmalee | Bangor, ME What is your dad’s name? Herbert What’s your favorite memory of your dad? One of my favorite memories with my dad was when my first child was born. He held him close, began to cry and said, "Emmie, he looks just like you. It brings back some many memories to when you were this little." It was the time I really sad his heart on the outside. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss hearing my dad's voice the most. He called me his little "ferd" and neither of us knew why. But it was always my favorite and I'd do anything to hear him call me that again. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560209405939-CLE5RYOU6V713WZIVC10/Heather+Abbot+1.jpg Father's Day 2019 Heather | Austin, TX What is your dad’s name? Ned What’s do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss my father's love. I miss the way he pushed me to be great but seemingly held no expectations around my greatness either. What he didn't understand about me, we didn't need to discuss. He loved me wholly. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? Not many know what to do when their friend loses someone close. And I'm not sure many of us are even aware of what we are capable of doing for others in those times. On the day I lost my father, one of my most introverted friends suddenly became a stand-up comedian. Her comedy wasn't forced, but genuine. We sat on a balcony with another friend of mine and we all fell out in laughter. I was in a mode of devastation – nothing much more – but laughing still. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560208734385-QFOLST6U9VTOBJAKM02J/Phil+Bausk.jpg Father's Day 2019 Phillip | Forest Hills, NY What is your dad’s name? Sheldon What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Taking him to Fenway Park for what would turn out to be his last trip there as he was a big Boston Red Sox fan, as I am now. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? A friend of mine living across the country showed up to his funeral unexpectedly and gave me a big hug after the ceremony. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560209863793-VEUEI1EX8HDJMF6N2Y7V/Andre+Sims.jpg Father's Day 2019 Andre | Smyrna, TN What is your child’s name? Dreyton What’s your favorite memory of your child? He would always put my arm around his shoulder and say I love you Daddy. What do you miss (or not miss) about your child? I miss his smile, I miss his laughter, I just miss everything about him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560212931062-HFANRUPEWXW209MT4EYN/Zach+Chandler.jpg Father's Day 2019 Zach | San Diego, CA What is your dad’s name? David What’s your favorite memory of your dad? I have two. One from my childhood and one from adulthood. I will respectively be concise with both. When I was a child my parents wanted to do special trips with each parent that entailed 300 miles in distance and $300 to spend. I was about 13 years old and I chose to go to Philadelphia from New York with my dad where we got to experience baseball and Independence Hall. It's something I plan to carry on with my daughter. As an adult I have one very memorable moment. After my father survived stage 4 prostate cancer we became very very close over the last decade. Just a few months before I married my wife my parents came out to visit San Diego from upstate New York I took them on a hike to Torrey Pines and asked my father to be the best man of my wedding. It was a tearful moment that my mom continues to tell me was the most amazing moment of this life, an honor he never held before. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560210422292-OR07A6HVIZW35W6R76WH/Jonelle%2BLesniak.jpg Father's Day 2019 Jonelle | Washington D.C. What is your dad’s name? John What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? An image comes to mind often these days that captures the essence of my dad: he had a silly dance move that was a mix of air guitar – but chilled out like a bass guitar, not the arm-waving-in-a-big-circle-electric-guitar kind – and knees bouncing forward and back to the rhythm of the song. When he did this I would roll my eyes and laugh at how ridiculous he was, and I never thought I'd miss it or cherish that memory of him the way I do now. What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I wish people would ask me how I'm feeling about him, or what he was like, or my favorite memories of him. I think most people fear making me revisit something painful, but having opportunities to remember him helps keep him feeling near instead of far, and helps me feel like others haven't forgotten this still huge thing in my life, which was not only losing him but having him in my life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560209258850-ZCOQSBCWSUQEJ1SUD4ZK/Haley%2BPeterson.jpg Father's Day 2019 Haley | Denver, CO What is your dad’s name? Barrett What’s your favorite memory of your dad? It is so impossible to pick a favorite memory, but here is one. My dad used to lull us to sleep with tales of Ursula, the pink-bellied speckled trout of Algonquin Park, whose adventures and misadventures around the lakes and trails we called home were the life lessons that my dad taught us in fable form. (He also reassured us that we didn’t have to worry about catching Ursula—she’s too smart). Armed with our Ursula knowledge and past canoe trips with our parents present, my dad sent us on our first canoe trip alone when we were 12, 11, 9, and 6 years old respectively. My mom was of course away for the weekend. I remember being a little bit nervous, but he had the utmost confidence in us. As amazing as it was to bond as a unit and figure out our roles in the backcountry (including figuring out what to do when our bear pack with all of our food got stuck on a knot in the wood as we were trying to let it down), one of the best parts of our first “Kids’ Trip” was the thrill of coming back to the cabin to our dad to fill him in on all the stories of our trip and give him our fish count. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560302266248-9MUD02O0GLT7AX94TL0D/Shayne+Haskens.png Father's Day 2019 Shayne | Los Angeles, CA What is your dad’s name? Rene Jr. What is your favorite memory of your dad? I don’t know if this is my favorite memory, but it’s the first one that comes to mind: There was one time when my dad had picked me up to take his house for a visit. It was kind of late at night (I think. I was a little kid, so “late” is probably relative), and he played the song “Hotel California” over and over again for the entire 2+ hour drive. Occasionally he would switch between the live and studio versions, but it was just that one song on repeat. I was literally hearing the song in my sleep, but I didn’t mind because it reminded me of something that my dad and I shared. I’m also a music lover, and I can get stuck on particular songs, where I’ll just play the song ad nauseam, driving everyone around me a little crazy before I finally move on. As someone who’s studied and works in music, people sometimes ask me if music runs in my family. I haven’t really known a ton of musicians in my family, so I used to always say “no”, but my father was most definitely a music man. It was only after his death that I truly realized that this is something I inherited from him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560210747979-XRFPYFH52RPVYQN9MFVN/Pria%2BGee.jpg Father's Day 2019 Anonymous | Vancouver What is your dad’s name? Paul What’s your favorite memory of your dad? I spent most of my childhood with him as he worked from home and my mom worked long hours, in a city 45 minutes away. We would have a lot of fun together when he was able to step away from his work, but this one memory, however small it may be, resonates with me so much, perhaps because he only did this with me and not my other 2 older siblings. Every morning he would get me a mini sized carton of chocolate milk (healthy, I know) and instead of opening it from the spout, he'd stab it with a pen and feed my straw through the front for me to drink. It was I guess, part of our daily routine. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560212274517-3TMBTNAJCFW3KFBUXNIK/Sarah+Carnevale.jpg Father's Day 2019 Sarah | Providence, RI What is your dad’s name? Jim What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? His sense of humor! He was definitely king of "dad jokes." What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? Letting me know that grief comes in waves and can sneak up on you in moments you may not realize. I was really sad on my birthday this year and that wasn't something I was expecting. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560212534458-Z4PHM0QVIMN9R9E8NV01/Jamie%2BZachensky.jpg Father's Day 2019 Jamie | New York, NY What is your dad’s name? James What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss his voice, his huge smile, his big warm hugs, his contagious laugh, his advice & guidance, his support, his presence beyond all else, I miss watching tv with him, having coffee with him in the morning, our car rides (where I got my good taste of music), our late night trips to McDonald’s drive-thru, I miss calling him several times per day whether something good bad or completely random happened or just to say hi & share something funny. I miss so much, everything about him. What’s your favorite memory of your dad? We would vacation at the Jersey Shore most summers during my childhood. A couple of years ago, we took a father-daughter trip there. I cry just thinking back to it, we had the best time. We hit the arcades, the beach, the aquarium, Jimbo’s, the chair lift ride & the pool. It was so nice to vacation with my dad & get to spend quality time together. I was at an age where I could genuinely appreciate that. I’ll remember that trip forever & will forever love Seaside Heights for the memories I’ve had there with my dad. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560212657319-009P3LPNNIB0YRXJXLBJ/Ciara%2BSchaub%2B4.jpg Father's Day 2019 Ciara | Boston, MA What is your dad’s name? Chuck What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? Our daily phone calls. I lived in San Diego for a few years during and after college and I would call my dad every day on my commute to work. It was really special that he always made time for us to talk even when he was starting to get sicker. He never wanted me to know how much he was struggling and it made a really big difference for me when he did pass away. He also had a really unique nickname for me for as long as I can remember and it’s been horrible that Smunchkin died with him. My mom tried to call me Smunch for a few days after he died but it just didn’t feel right to either of us. I always loved when he’d call and say “Oh hi, Smunch!” and it’s been really hard to accept that a beloved nickname died too. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560209677123-C2NT2NHQLP8FSI5SK97S/Amanda+Dutton+3.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Amanda | Boston, MA What is your dad’s name? Ed What’s your favorite memory of your dad? I have a lot of favorite memories. He was truly a great human and amazing Dad. He made sure any time together was one for the books, even in the smallest of ways. When I read this question I initially started to think of specific moments or trips or life events to talk about. But, as I shuffled through all the memories in my mind, it hit me. My absolute favorite memories are as simple as making mickey mouse pancakes together on Sunday and how he would dance in his weird Dad way and when he would burst into song at random around the house... "It was a bloody mary morning". I can still hear it. He had a zest for life and lived it to the fullest. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? Had patience and gave me room to grieve. I feel lucky to have a few close friends to show support. Particularly, right after he died and I was back home in Arizona my best friend flew in and answered the phone at 6am when I randomly called her and asked if she would just come and sit with me by the lake near our house. She came immediately and just sat with me in silence, let me cry and reminisced and we talked about him and our memories. It was so helpful to be able to just let it out and to have someone talk about him with me instead of tiptoeing around me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560212949224-IUL9JG4DAO6VEF6GSUON/Melissa+Cotton.jpg Father's Day 2019 Melissa | Newmarket, NH What is your dad’s name? Michael What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I wish they’d ask more about him rather than focus on how he died. He died by suicide and I hate how there is still so much stigma behind it. They focus on that and sometimes react negatively to me telling them. He was a good person and his manner of death does not define who he was as a person. He was a good dad. What’s your favorite memory of your dad? We used to go to the movies every weekend. We started going when I was around 7 years old and we kept the ritual going until his passing last year. I’m currently 28. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560285968759-IOMTX6UTAZROPE9SBJR3/Bridget%2BMarkham%2B2.jpg Father's Day 2019 Bridget | San Diego, CA What is your dad’s name? James What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My favorite memory of my dad was probably two years before his death. I was in my senior year of college and was stressed about not knowing what career path I wanted to go down, especially while being surrounded by friends who seemed like they had it all figured out. My dad, at 71 years old and a successful lawyer, looked at me and said, "Nobody knows what they want to do with the rest of their life. I still haven't figured it out yet." And that was the end of the conversation. It's a conversation that I think about so often when I'm stressed. Such a sweet memory of how amazing my father was at always knowing the right things to say. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? One of my great friends sent me knock-knock jokes for a very long time. They were the worst jokes I've ever heard. At the same time, they were the best jokes and exactly what I needed in the months after my dad's death. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560286087838-CW9QM4CLLVEWZWM2NL3Q/Gillian+Silver+2.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Gillian | Berkeley, CA What is your dad’s name? David What’s your favorite memory of your dad? It is so hard to pinpoint a favorite memory, but my dad was very adventurous and we spent a lot of time outdoors together. We would go on hikes (my dad, sister, sometimes my mom and sometimes my grandfather) and we would be hiking along, and my dad would go out of sight. We would spot him some minutes later, having scrambled up a distant rock, waving at us. He was always kind of stubborn about his adventures. He wouldn’t listen to my grandma’s orders to come home before dark when we would visit my grandparents. He would drive way out of the way to see an interesting natural artifact. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? Someone who lost her father at a younger age told me in the days after he died, that she would still be around to check in on me even after the initial rush of condolences and sympathy died down. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560286217966-RRKEN7HEVRNL5AEZYH3Z/Meta+Getman.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Meta | Minneapolis, MN What is your dad’s name? Jim What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss him calling me on his way home from work to say hi. I also miss going on boat rides with him. What is Father’s Day like for you now? It is bittersweet. My first Father’s Day without my dad was my husbands first Father’s Day as a dad. I love being able to focus on my husband that day but deeply miss my own dad. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560307511008-YNARK1WE799M9WANIRCY/Lisa%2BBaker.jpg Father's Day 2019 Lisa | Chelmsford, MA What is your dad’s name? Sterling What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? Spending time with me is what Dad always did. As a little girl I just wanted to be around him. I’d mow the lawn with him, go with him to Star City IGA, sit on the steps at camp while he grilled supper, and in later years sit on the porch at my own house while he did a crossword and I read a book. I just wanted to be near him. And that's what I miss most, his quiet presence. His work ethic, his desire and ability to find the common ground that breeds compromise, his optimism, and his infectious belly laugh were the best parts of him, and I miss him every day because he taught me how to be a good citizen. What’s your favorite memory of your dad? When I was 22 I was a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding. It was time in my life when I didn't feel great about my body and had extra weight on. Ordering the chosen bridesmaid dress was a nightmare for me when my size wasn't in stock. Dad made several calls to the company for me to take the stress off me, and did everything in his power to not make me feel defined by a dress or a size. The dress never did fit quite right (in fact, Men's Warehouse practically sewed me in it the day of the wedding when we were in a pinch). When the wedding as all over and I was home visiting later that year he goes, "You know what, I think we should burn that stupid dress." And we did. And it felt glorious! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560287038963-QL26DLM9LHURKHEFELGF/Christie+Soto+1.jpg Father's Day 2019 Christie | Orlando, FL What is your dad’s name? Gregory What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? My dad used to sing a song, whenever I missed his calls he’d leave it as a voicemail. It was just some silly song with my name in it, but he made it up when I was a kid and I can still hear the words today. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? Listened. Cried with me. Nothing anyone said really made it better but feeling like they understood my pain a little did sort of help. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560287372290-V7IG57KNDKYKX1CHHPKT/Katie+Osgood+1.png Father's Day 2019 Katie | Vancouver, WA What is your dad’s name? John What’s your favorite memory of your dad? I was usually practicing piano when my dad would come home from work, plop down in his recliner, close his eyes and in between songs say, "MORE!". He's always told me that when I played piano it almost made him feel like he was levitating because he loved it so much. Another favorite memory I have is when my car would be parked just slightly differently than I had left it, with a FULL tank of gas (he always got so terse with me about letting my tank get to close to empty). He was the only person with the extra key. He was always giving to me in sneaky ways and trying to disguise it was him. He never wanted the attention for the giving, he just wanted me to receive. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss his voicemails: "The message is I LOVE YOU! Buh bye." I miss how he would pick up any coin he found on the ground. Once he found a quarter and it was glued to the floor of the mall. He didn't let that stop him, he got out his pocket knife and pried that puppy up and proudly plopped it in his pocket. I miss having coffee with him on the front porch and talking about *everything*. I miss buying him Tillamook extra sharp cheddar cheese baby loafs. I miss the way he dissected a plate of spaghetti like he was a brain surgeon. I miss seeing him shuffle around in his solid red Nike Air Jordan High tops (they're mine now and I wear them with pride but it's not the same). I could keep going but I'll stop myself now. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560288221015-KHIT42YZXIQCGQYC2WY3/Jess+Valli.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Jess | Boston, MA What is your dad’s name? Bob What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Singing Beastie Boys "No Sleep for Brooklyn" in the truck to me, and purposefully mispronouncing it "No Sleep for Broccoli" so my sister and I would laugh. What do you wish people would ask you about you dad? I wish people would ask about what he taught me, or what he liked doing. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560288320638-ECLXUT49LVCWF3SSR7QG/Bryna%2BTalamantez.jpg Father's Day 2019 Bryna | Plano, TX What is your dad’s name? Robert What’s your favorite memory of your dad? I have great memories of my dad at Christmas. For those couple days a year, we would be able to forget that he was sick and we would have fun opening presents, eating good food, and playing with my new toys. He was always in the background with the video camera, but he was there and felt all the joy that I did on those days. What do you wish people would ask you about you dad? I wish that people would ask about him more and just bring him up. I also wish that I could learn more about him since he died when I was still young. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560288440888-52I6MRUOE2812Y2JRQIR/Megan+Gras.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Megan | Vermont What is your dad’s name? Bobby What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Anything that involves us laughing together, which covers a lot of memories. On a more serious note: the sensitive, encouraging approach he always took to giving me advice. Is there anything else that you want to share? I want to share that my sister and I see a butterfly as a symbol for our dad. We lost him to very early onset Alzheimer’s, which has been compared to a butterfly. I had a rare instance where I was crying at work, and all of a sudden a huge group of butterflies were at my window at work. I just stared laughing and said “ok ok I get it !!” My dads heart was broken any time he saw me cry. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560288604122-XQEVE7606MRL9K5ESRV1/Sasha+Muradali.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Sasha | New York City, NY What is your dad’s name? Neville What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss everything. His smile, his laugh, the smell of his cologne, his jokes (he had an awesome wicked sense of humor), and his eyes. My daddy had had the prettiest eyes, and they made him the envy of his brothers and sisters. When he passed away, we still talked about how beautiful and unique they were. When, I was smaller, I used to ask how come I never got his eyes ... or his eyelashes! I have to wear mascara, ugh! lol What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? My friend Nicole, who is also my sorority sister, lets me email her multiple times a day, every day, and she responds. We talk about everything. But, she lets me talk about my daddy in circles until I feel like it. A few of my friends, and my apartment building as well, sent me flowers to my apartment. I'm from Miami, and I live in NYC, so getting flowers in NYC after returning from Miami was nice. It actually helped me. My father had a garden, and my grandma taught him how to garden, so flowers reminded me of him. The friends who sent flowers, week after week, it gave me something to smile about. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560288772827-0N2CN6M56KQON0HJVEJP/Rory.jpg Father's Day 2019 Rory | North Carolina What is your dad’s name? Kim What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss just being able to call him with stuff. I've had so many times over the last two and a half years that I've done something exciting that would thrill him--and I can't. I bought a bass guitar a few weeks ago that I've been wanting since I was 12--Dad knew all about it and would've loved to get one for me if he'd've been able to afford it. I had an "I gotta call Dad" moment leaving the store. Is there anything else that you want to share? One of my favorite things my dad ever said: "Nothing is normal. And if it is, run." https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560288914137-YO8ZV0DBHLHUUKTBFLCG/Ida+Dolce+3.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Ida | Chicago, IL What is your dad’s name? Ron What’s your favorite memory of you dad? Riding in the car with him. That was just “our time.” We’d bond and talk about everything and nothing What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? Just being able to talk to him. I know that sounds simple, but we were so close, that if we didn’t see each other, we talked multiple times a day. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560289085648-FK78SEU9QCKC8PLZJHA6/Jenn%2BBologna.jpg Father's Day 2019 Jennifer | San Marcos What is your dad’s name? Sam What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss all the things that used to annoy me about him. His loud footsteps down the hall, his reckless driving, his nail biting. I would do anything to have even those things back. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? My aunt got me a key chain engraved with the last words in the last poem my father wrote to me when I went off to college: "I am close and in your heart, know I am near even when we are apart". She also made me pillows made of his shirts and pajamas. These remind me of his presence always. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560289186381-15SM2Z3G1GH94MF4V9CO/Sara%2BChasse%2B1.jpg Father's Day 2019 Sara | Boston, MA What is your dad’s name? Bob What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss his voice, laugh, and smile. He would light up the room no matter what the occasion was. His presence made everything (including trips to the bank) fun. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? A few friends made dinner, brought wine, and their kids crafted cards when I returned back from my hometown. It was extremely thoughtful and helped get my mind off the pain and encouraged me to focus on the positive. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560292976594-BV73SCW9SRHXONNOW4VJ/Brooke+Colbourne.jpg Father's Day 2019 Brooke | Beaverton, OR What is your dad’s name? Cass What’s your favorite memory of you dad? My favorite memories with my dad are the times we were in the car together, as simple as it was. My dad would just let loose and rock out to some fun music; AC/DC, Talking Heads, No Doubt, Men at Work & so much more...I remember him vividly drumming on the steering wheel and singing along. He was so alive and so happy, those moments I'll never forget. It's painful but also brings me so much joy to listen to all the music we shared when I was younger. It's amazing how music can just bring us back into a moment in time and that moment is not lost and is a beautiful memory. What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? My dad gave so much love to those around him. He was an extremely giving person and put love above all things. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560297381570-LS260323491JHTYTGKEK/Angie%2BRuddell%2B1.jpg Father's Day 2019 Angie | Denver, CO What is your dad’s name? Jim What’s your favorite memory of you dad? My dad started our restaurant by smoking fish in our backyard and selling it on the side of the road. I would bake brownies to sell so I could save up for a pink rhinestone collar for my cat. We spent most weekends together in remote parts of the county selling fish and brownies until the highway patrol would come by and shut us down. The next weekend we would move somewhere else until 2000 when my mom found a storefront, and we began the journey towards becoming a brick and mortar. The rest is history. What do miss (or not miss) about your dad? I really miss the hugs and hearing my dad’s comforting voice. Everyday he would ask me, “have I told you I love you today?” And he would say “today is Tuesday, all day, how would you like your eggs this morning and your little sausages?” His commander in the army would say this to him crew, and it always made me laugh. I would say scrambled with ketchup. My mom and I say this to each other now. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560297051416-2NOQC8NA4RBV56CYFJN8/Colleen+Conradi+2.jpg Father's Day 2019 Colleen | San Rafael, CA What is your dad’s name? Paul What’s your favorite memory of you dad? I miss playing softball with my dad, when he'd take me to go practice my pitching. I miss being on the mound during a game and seeing him watching right behind the umpire and home plate. I miss listening to "Jump Around" in the car before every game and hearing him sing along "I came to get down!" I miss watching/listening to San Francisco Giants games and getting way too heated together when things were going wrong. I miss hearing him threaten to call Bruce Bochy with the bullpen phone in the dugout. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? If you know someone who lost their dad, ask them as many questions as you can. Say their name. Tell them every memory that pops into your head, even if to you it is completely insignificant because to us, everything is important. And check in with them on holidays. Getting through the first round of holidays is the worst part, but that doesn't mean all the holidays after that aren't extremely hard. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560297231300-BHKDTXYKH9GNUOSGWS5B/Kimsey+Kerr+1.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Kimsey | Nashville, TN What is your dad’s name? Kevin What’s your favorite memory of you dad? There are so many memories I could share about my dad. One thing that lives in my mind is our daughter dad dates. We would take a ride to Steak N Shake, sit at the bar, order our usual and talk about anything and everything. Sitting there with him is where I learned some of my most important lessons. When I go back home I drive over to that same Steak N Shake and sit at the bar and think of him and what he would say to me at that moment. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? I connected with Alee who was hosting the Nashville table and joined The Dinner Party a month after my dad’s passing. She immediately asked me to join their next meeting and it warmed my heart so much. Meeting other people who have been on the same journey really helps you not feel “alone”. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560298123152-9XNATR9IGYTC5F7HWAIW/Janet%2BWood.jpg Father's Day 2019 Janet | Atlanta, GA What is your dad’s name? David What’s your favorite memory of you dad? When he took my sister and I chasing UFOs turns out, they were just spotlights...but he played along. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? That he encouraged my sister and I to learn everything we could. Even if it went against his beliefs, he taught us to make decisions for ourselves. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560298278245-P01ZWZOD1S3AKMW6O09N/Sam%2BSweigert.jpg Father's Day 2019 Samantha | Lancaster, PA What is your dad’s name? Daniel What’s your favorite memory of you dad? The time he pretended to be an Olympic figure skater in the living room to get us all to laugh. His triple toe loop was on point! What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? Sent me letters in the mail. One friend’s wish was that my “grief be fierce,” and that has stuck with me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560298526270-MCZCGMZ5KG81KW2OJ08O/Emma+Dickson+1.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Emma | Atlanta, GA What is your dad’s name? Bill What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss (and don't miss) driving him to and from work when I was home from college. It was really inconvenient but it was time with him that I wouldn't trade for the world now that he's gone. Even if it was mostly quietly listening to the radio and he always closed the sunroof as soon as he got in the car. He became the worst back seat driver and was so jumpy. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? When my dad was in hospice, there was a cooler on our front porch. I don't think it was ever empty. So many people loved my dad and knew he would've done the same for them. He didn't really cook much but he had a recipe for Chex Mix that was his signature. A neighbor brought us everything we needed to make it with him but he passed before we could make it. So the morning of his funeral, my siblings and I made his Chex Mix Recipe together. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560298639086-KIL8VTDNRFNA9CXFSYEM/Chole%2BZakhour%2B1.jpg Father's Day 2019 Chloe | Orange County, CA What is your dad’s name? Gihad What’s your favorite memory of your dad? His ability to make a room feel whole. Not one memory can suffice. His endless jokes, advice, smile and joy. The way he called my sisters and I “my girls”. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss his presence. I miss his eggs and popcorn, his loud phone calls in the morning talking to everyone, his days in the garden, sitting having coffee, sitting at night in the bedroom gossiping with my whole family before bed. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560298877687-R69WXIL20AYOPBEDYN62/Abby+Motycka.jpg Father's Day 2019 Abby | New York City, NY What is your dad’s name? Greg Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Every day without my dad is a day I have to keep going and I hate that for me (and all of us out there grieving). It's been 2.5 years now since November 16, 2016 almost to the day and I still can't believe this is my life. A life where I have one less person who unconditionally loves me, which makes me cry right now typing this. Of course it's depressing, but I want him to know how much I've grown, how far I've come in putting my life slowly back together. I really want him to be proud of me and I'll never quite get that answer even though people love to say how proud he would be (people who just don't know what to say to a grieving child). It's hard because my dad was a loner and I hurt for him more than I hurt for anyone else. I wish he had friends so I could talk to them and grieve with them - I think that would really help. He was so so special and the world didn't give him a fair shot. I just miss him. He is the only person who could help me get through grief and he isn't here. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560299002662-3SUK7DP9YXSHLE4QI19V/Marcy+Schaeffer.jpg Father's Day 2019 Marcy | Baltimore, MD What is your dad’s name? Gary What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss my academic cheerleader. My dad was not only the smartest person I've ever known, but also was an incredible mentor at work and at home. He helped me and my sister struggle through fractions as preteens, demanded we had a whiteboard in our rooms for hard homework problems, advocated for us in school board meetings, and provided feedback for MANY drafts of resumes and personal statements for college/grad school. A couple months before he passed, I was accepted into a PhD program, and I knew that was going to be the biggest life highlight I was going to be able to share with him. When I later visited the program and didn't get bombarded with eager phone calls from him, wondering how it was going, I knew that his time was getting closer. I finished my Master's degree from home as he left us peacefully. Fast forward 4 years, and, at the end of this month, I'm going to defend my dissertation and (hopefully) become a PhD! While I'll be missing him SO much, I also know that my academic cheerleader is still rooting for me <3 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560299116399-276JOBSXF2FR8ZRU42UD/Faith+Welty+2.JPG Father's Day 2019 Faith | Indiana What is your dad’s name? Todd What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Sitting on the front porch during the summer afternoons and just hanging out. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? They showed up and helped keep his memory alive by letting me be vulnerable and just talk about him (the good, the bad and the ugly). https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560299184841-SRN5NWDIXN1EB5LM93WL/Laura+Grosack.jpg Father's Day 2019 Laura | Philadelphia, PA What is your dad’s name? Marc What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Our coffee talks. Whenever I went home to visit or my parents came to me, my Dad would always say, "Can't wait to get a cup of coffee with you." It was our special time to sit and talk about life, fears, the future, and laugh. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? My sister-in-law's sister is someone who I consider to be family. She heard about my father's death and immediately came to be with my family and helped with things like ordering coffee and breakfast, watching my niece, and offering unlimited hugs. I recently got engaged and we had dinner and she spoke openly with me about my feelings of not having my Dad at my wedding and how we would honor him there. It was so comforting to me to talk about something that had been on my mind for a long time and acknowledge it with love. I think the best thing you can do for someone grieving is just to talk and not assume that just because they don't bring it up it isn't on their minds. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560299249626-WZAUQU0O7X1F1IKP6LFR/Karen+Johnson.jpg Father's Day 2019 K | Philadelphia, PA What is your dad’s name? Mark What’s your favorite memory of your dad? One of my favorite memories is driving in my Dad’s pickup truck in the summertime listening to grunge/alternative music and singing the words together. We would go pick up corn and fruit at our local produce stand and sometimes take a little longer getting home because we would stop for ice cream and totally play it cool when my Mom would ask what took so long. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? When my Mom’s good friends told me that it doesn’t get easier but gets a little more bearable. I can feel whatever I want to feel and not have to apologize for it but I should understand how to talk about it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560300193762-Y057RJ6M90C7RLM7LKBS/Shelby+Remillard.jpg Father's Day 2019 Shelby | New York City, NY What is your dad’s name? David What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My dad was an outdoorsy guy, he loved hiking in the mountains in Colorado (where we’re from). In August 2009 before he passed away in September of that year, he finally won and got me to go out to the mountain with him (I’m not the most outdoorsy person because I hate bugs). But he lead me on his favorite trail, up to a peak that over looked the whole city. We sat there in awe together. I can never forget this memory and when I miss him I go back to that memory in my mind. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? My friend, Taylor, in college would always let me talk about my dad whenever I wanted to, and was always there to comfort me , especially in my first year of grief. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560300465815-9BDRKJID3K7IXVCC0B9F/Julia+Dearden.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Julie | Providence What is your dad’s name? Stuart What’s your favorite memory of your dad? As a kid, playing catch in the front yard and going to the diner for pancakes on Saturday mornings just him and I. As an adult, having a couple beers and talking life or listening to great music on long drives along the river. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? We were so similar, I always felt like we were two peas in a pod. I miss not having his wisdom, advice and smile for sure. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560300787497-9USV75VNMX9KKKHZ5ERC/Divya+Lulla.jpg Father's Day 2019 Divya | Phoenix, AZ What is your dad’s name? Raju What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Many. On top of my head/ heart: When I was in high school, he'd drop me off to class on his way to work and before I stepped out of the car, he’d ask "Do you have enough Vitamin M?" Vitamin M was his code for money or allowance. He knew my hesitation in asking for it. What is Father’s Day like for you now? Calendar holidays don't matter as much. It's the random days and moments that trigger an intense missing. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560300699661-HJ23CYMC1H2F7BWOP37K/Ashleigh+Andrew.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Ashleigh | Texas What is your dad’s name? Marty What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My favorite memory of my dad is his laugh and his mischievous side. He would tug on my hair or try to tickle me and pretend it wasn’t him when I turned to look. He also drank Diet Coke all the time and would forget where he put the can until he opened another one. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss being able to call him on my drives home from work and being able to tell him about my day. We talked at least once a week and now car rides are hard when I’m alone. I also miss his meals. No one makes food that tastes the same like his and it’s really hard on me when I realize that. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560300812044-GA7C3Z904PETEQ97RGBQ/Ryan+Wieser.jpg Father's Day 2019 Ryan | Boise, ID What is your dad’s name? Scott What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My dad always made me laugh. Even just doing stupid random things he just always has a knack for making people bus to out laughing. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? Having a best friend. We did everything together. We spent hours and hours just hanging out with each other running errands getting the cars washed. He was my best friend. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560300868137-JO8Z06FQCO08QC5V88KW/Sanchita+Bose+1.JPG Father's Day 2019 Sanchita | Houston, TX What is your dad’s name? Subid What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? His incredible story about how he came to the US as an immigrant from India and worked hard every day to send his kids through school. Now I’m a physician and my brother is an attorney. If only he could be with us now. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? He was my best friend and loved me no matter what. He always had my back, even if I was wrong. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560301191034-RLO56QVUYOQH6ROPHYEO/Nicole+Garcia.jpg Father's Day 2019 Nicole | Los Angeles, CA What is your dad’s name? Eusebio “Joe” What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? We used to road trip down to South Padre Island, TX every summer and I always remember listening to Gypsy Kings or Alan Jackson alllll the way there. That music still reminds me of those fun summer trips :) What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? Sharing stories about my dad. How he impacted their life or funny stories they shared with him. It helped me learn a different part of who my dad was. . https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560301832190-X1ET1M6XMNXFKQ84PMR8/Katie%2BGrundin.jpg Father's Day 2019 Katie | Evanston, IL What is your dad’s name? Bill What is your favorite memory of your dad? One of my favorite memories of my step-dad is when I was learning how to drive. He would take me out driving in his forest green Subaru Outback and would sit back in the passenger seat and talk about his philosophy on life while I navigated the roads. It was one of the first times I had time with just him since we had become part of a blended family. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? My best friend, who lives out of state, would call me and check-in on me. She'd ask me how I was doing and let me talk about how I was feeling about what I was going through. She wasn't afraid to talk about my step-dad and bring him up in conversation and to this day still does and I'm forever grateful . https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560301869455-PPA2VU8LU41KJHFDQE2N/Nate+Santa+Maria+2.jpg Father's Day 2019 Nate | Charlotte, NC What is your dad’s name? Guillermo What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? My father was my rock. He gave the best advice, had an open door policy with all my friends, and was by far the easiest person to talk to in my family. He always celebrated my accomplishments, too. He was in the front row of all my high school plays and was genuinely proud of who I was and that I was his daughter. He always made me feel like one-of-a-kind. What is your favorite memory of your dad? My father was always a jokester. He carried a whoopee cushion and asked waitresses for a toothpick even though he never wore his dentures. I used to be embarrassed by his antics when I was younger but I miss how much he always made me laugh. I also loved watching him dance with my mom. They were a sight to see on the dance floor! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560302040258-41G1OJUJN4SGFZKDI4LR/Jen+Miosi.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Jen | Cincinnati, OH What is your dad’s name? Joe What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss the way that he called me “Pumpkin” and the way he was able to gauge when something was wrong and willing to give you a big bear hug to help fix it. What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I wish they would ask me how things transpired around his death and ask me what handling life as a Survivor of Suicide is like. Silence, to me, makes it worse. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560302214582-4PWHK88JY92UT5N0UIJK/Melissa+Schepers+2.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Melissa | Philadelphia, PA What is your dad’s name? Bert What is your favorite memory of your dad? My dad was born and raised in the Netherlands, so once a year when I was growing up my dad, mom, siblings and I would visit his family in Holland and often bike, eat cheese, and indulge in the simple lifestyle of the country. He was the cheapest person I know and because we did this trip to Holland every year we rarely went on any other vacations growing up. Because of this, whenever we were in Holland my dad would always take us to the supermarket and without fail tell us that here- at the Dutch supermarket- we were able to get WHATEVER we wanted. That was what made these visits to my Father's small home town "a vacation" ...endless spending freedom but only at the supermarket https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560210278833-N311AZFQ4L9161WYCUX2/Marie%2BLance.jpg Father's Day 2019 Marie | Ohio What is your dad’s name? Kim What’s your favorite memory of your dad? When I was 16, I spent a few weeks in France on a school trip. It was the longest I had ever been away from my Dad at that point. When I got off the plane back home I figured he would be waiting for me in the pick up lane. But he had come inside the airport to meet me right before baggage claim. But I noticed him after I had gotten on the down escalator. So with my carry-on and backpack in tow I turned around and ran up the down escalator and to my Dad. I was so happy to be home. What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I just wish people would be less uncomfortable when I bring him up. Like yes, he is dead. But he was a wonderful Dad and person and I need to be able to talk about him without feeling like I’m making everyone in the room heart sick. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560302373303-HB8HIAN5G5KLL0JS29BK/Susan%2BCombs.jpg Father's Day 2019 Susan | Queens, NY What is your dad’s name? Roger What’s your favorite memory of your dad? This man taught me, “It’s important for you to be understood, but it’s more important for you to not be misunderstood.” I think one of us kids quotes this weekly. This man taught me to be independent and have a common knowledge of how to fix some things. Then if all else fails, WD-40 and duct tape will fix almost anything. This man taught me to parallel park between a horse trailer and a feed truck out on the Mule Shoe Ranch. Living in NYC, this skill has become priceless. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560537025702-IIHRMOHWOTB6L66TNZRC/Erica.jpg Father's Day 2019 Erica | Athens, OH What is your dad’s name? Conley What’s your favorite memory of your dad? I have many, but as an over all theme, we went to a lot of Dave Matthews Band concerts together. I am so fortunate to have had a relationship with my dad where we could have fun and just be 100% ourselves around each other and these concerts were he definition of that. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? My two best friends brought beer to the calling hours and we toasted in my dads memory in the parking lot. (My dad likes beer, my friends and I didn’t so we gagged our way through it. It was a nice light moment in an otherwise devastating day). https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560307460588-7G2VFAOZCN9IYBYQMKU1/Angeli%2BAgrawal.jpg Father's Day 2019 Angeli | San Francisco, CA What is your dad’s name? Anant What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss how playful my dad was. He was a business executive who ran multiple companies, but he always found time to come up with a ridiculous new nickname for his kids or send us meticulously narrated stories of our family dog chasing a lizard in the yard. I miss his love of learning. While other kids in our neighborhood were learning to play soccer or baseball, he deconstructed a radio for my sister and I and taught us how to put the entire thing back together again. I miss how he annoyed my mom and gave us something to talk about when I call her every week. I don't miss his alcoholism. I don't miss how it transformed him into this shell of a human, someone I didn't recognize and who literally shrank as he lost weight. I don't miss how his disease stole him from us far too soon. But over the last year, I've realized I'm also grateful that he was with us for as long as he was. What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I wish they would ask about him. Ask about my memories of him, ask what he was like, ask how I continue to stay connected with him after his passing, ask about the little things he did to annoy me, ask about the incredibly complicated feelings of relief and guilt I had when he died. I wish they would ask me about my experience of being in the hospital with him because I'm still not over it, and it's been a year. All I want to do is talk about him, and it feels like sometimes people are nervous to ask. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560208610652-0JHWX5IDFRCWOS41LK1A/Emmalee+Savage.jpg Father's Day 2019 Emmalee | Bangor, ME What is your dad’s name? Herbert What’s your favorite memory of your dad? One of my favorite memories with my dad was when my first child was born. He held him close, began to cry and said, "Emmie, he looks just like you. It brings back some many memories to when you were this little." It was the time I really sad his heart on the outside. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss hearing my dad's voice the most. He called me his little "ferd" and neither of us knew why. But it was always my favorite and I'd do anything to hear him call me that again. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560209405939-CLE5RYOU6V713WZIVC10/Heather+Abbot+1.jpg Father's Day 2019 Heather | Austin, TX What is your dad’s name? Ned What’s do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss my father's love. I miss the way he pushed me to be great but seemingly held no expectations around my greatness either. What he didn't understand about me, we didn't need to discuss. He loved me wholly. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? Not many know what to do when their friend loses someone close. And I'm not sure many of us are even aware of what we are capable of doing for others in those times. On the day I lost my father, one of my most introverted friends suddenly became a stand-up comedian. Her comedy wasn't forced, but genuine. We sat on a balcony with another friend of mine and we all fell out in laughter. I was in a mode of devastation – nothing much more – but laughing still. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560208734385-QFOLST6U9VTOBJAKM02J/Phil+Bausk.jpg Father's Day 2019 Phillip | Forest Hills, NY What is your dad’s name? Sheldon What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Taking him to Fenway Park for what would turn out to be his last trip there as he was a big Boston Red Sox fan, as I am now. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? A friend of mine living across the country showed up to his funeral unexpectedly and gave me a big hug after the ceremony. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560209863793-VEUEI1EX8HDJMF6N2Y7V/Andre+Sims.jpg Father's Day 2019 Andre | Smyrna, TN What is your child’s name? Dreyton What’s your favorite memory of your child? He would always put my arm around his shoulder and say I love you Daddy. What do you miss (or not miss) about your child? I miss his smile, I miss his laughter, I just miss everything about him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560212931062-HFANRUPEWXW209MT4EYN/Zach+Chandler.jpg Father's Day 2019 Zach | San Diego, CA What is your dad’s name? David What’s your favorite memory of your dad? I have two. One from my childhood and one from adulthood. I will respectively be concise with both. When I was a child my parents wanted to do special trips with each parent that entailed 300 miles in distance and $300 to spend. I was about 13 years old and I chose to go to Philadelphia from New York with my dad where we got to experience baseball and Independence Hall. It's something I plan to carry on with my daughter. As an adult I have one very memorable moment. After my father survived stage 4 prostate cancer we became very very close over the last decade. Just a few months before I married my wife my parents came out to visit San Diego from upstate New York I took them on a hike to Torrey Pines and asked my father to be the best man of my wedding. It was a tearful moment that my mom continues to tell me was the most amazing moment of this life, an honor he never held before. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560210422292-OR07A6HVIZW35W6R76WH/Jonelle%2BLesniak.jpg Father's Day 2019 Jonelle | Washington D.C. What is your dad’s name? John What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? An image comes to mind often these days that captures the essence of my dad: he had a silly dance move that was a mix of air guitar – but chilled out like a bass guitar, not the arm-waving-in-a-big-circle-electric-guitar kind – and knees bouncing forward and back to the rhythm of the song. When he did this I would roll my eyes and laugh at how ridiculous he was, and I never thought I'd miss it or cherish that memory of him the way I do now. What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I wish people would ask me how I'm feeling about him, or what he was like, or my favorite memories of him. I think most people fear making me revisit something painful, but having opportunities to remember him helps keep him feeling near instead of far, and helps me feel like others haven't forgotten this still huge thing in my life, which was not only losing him but having him in my life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560209258850-ZCOQSBCWSUQEJ1SUD4ZK/Haley%2BPeterson.jpg Father's Day 2019 Haley | Denver, CO What is your dad’s name? Barrett What’s your favorite memory of your dad? It is so impossible to pick a favorite memory, but here is one. My dad used to lull us to sleep with tales of Ursula, the pink-bellied speckled trout of Algonquin Park, whose adventures and misadventures around the lakes and trails we called home were the life lessons that my dad taught us in fable form. (He also reassured us that we didn’t have to worry about catching Ursula—she’s too smart). Armed with our Ursula knowledge and past canoe trips with our parents present, my dad sent us on our first canoe trip alone when we were 12, 11, 9, and 6 years old respectively. My mom was of course away for the weekend. I remember being a little bit nervous, but he had the utmost confidence in us. As amazing as it was to bond as a unit and figure out our roles in the backcountry (including figuring out what to do when our bear pack with all of our food got stuck on a knot in the wood as we were trying to let it down), one of the best parts of our first “Kids’ Trip” was the thrill of coming back to the cabin to our dad to fill him in on all the stories of our trip and give him our fish count. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560302266248-9MUD02O0GLT7AX94TL0D/Shayne+Haskens.png Father's Day 2019 Shayne | Los Angeles, CA What is your dad’s name? Rene Jr. What is your favorite memory of your dad? I don’t know if this is my favorite memory, but it’s the first one that comes to mind: There was one time when my dad had picked me up to take his house for a visit. It was kind of late at night (I think. I was a little kid, so “late” is probably relative), and he played the song “Hotel California” over and over again for the entire 2+ hour drive. Occasionally he would switch between the live and studio versions, but it was just that one song on repeat. I was literally hearing the song in my sleep, but I didn’t mind because it reminded me of something that my dad and I shared. I’m also a music lover, and I can get stuck on particular songs, where I’ll just play the song ad nauseam, driving everyone around me a little crazy before I finally move on. As someone who’s studied and works in music, people sometimes ask me if music runs in my family. I haven’t really known a ton of musicians in my family, so I used to always say “no”, but my father was most definitely a music man. It was only after his death that I truly realized that this is something I inherited from him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560210747979-XRFPYFH52RPVYQN9MFVN/Pria%2BGee.jpg Father's Day 2019 Anonymous | Vancouver What is your dad’s name? Paul What’s your favorite memory of your dad? I spent most of my childhood with him as he worked from home and my mom worked long hours, in a city 45 minutes away. We would have a lot of fun together when he was able to step away from his work, but this one memory, however small it may be, resonates with me so much, perhaps because he only did this with me and not my other 2 older siblings. Every morning he would get me a mini sized carton of chocolate milk (healthy, I know) and instead of opening it from the spout, he'd stab it with a pen and feed my straw through the front for me to drink. It was I guess, part of our daily routine. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560212274517-3TMBTNAJCFW3KFBUXNIK/Sarah+Carnevale.jpg Father's Day 2019 Sarah | Providence, RI What is your dad’s name? Jim What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? His sense of humor! He was definitely king of "dad jokes." What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? Letting me know that grief comes in waves and can sneak up on you in moments you may not realize. I was really sad on my birthday this year and that wasn't something I was expecting. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560212534458-Z4PHM0QVIMN9R9E8NV01/Jamie%2BZachensky.jpg Father's Day 2019 Jamie | New York, NY What is your dad’s name? James What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss his voice, his huge smile, his big warm hugs, his contagious laugh, his advice & guidance, his support, his presence beyond all else, I miss watching tv with him, having coffee with him in the morning, our car rides (where I got my good taste of music), our late night trips to McDonald’s drive-thru, I miss calling him several times per day whether something good bad or completely random happened or just to say hi & share something funny. I miss so much, everything about him. What’s your favorite memory of your dad? We would vacation at the Jersey Shore most summers during my childhood. A couple of years ago, we took a father-daughter trip there. I cry just thinking back to it, we had the best time. We hit the arcades, the beach, the aquarium, Jimbo’s, the chair lift ride & the pool. It was so nice to vacation with my dad & get to spend quality time together. I was at an age where I could genuinely appreciate that. I’ll remember that trip forever & will forever love Seaside Heights for the memories I’ve had there with my dad. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560212657319-009P3LPNNIB0YRXJXLBJ/Ciara%2BSchaub%2B4.jpg Father's Day 2019 Ciara | Boston, MA What is your dad’s name? Chuck What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? Our daily phone calls. I lived in San Diego for a few years during and after college and I would call my dad every day on my commute to work. It was really special that he always made time for us to talk even when he was starting to get sicker. He never wanted me to know how much he was struggling and it made a really big difference for me when he did pass away. He also had a really unique nickname for me for as long as I can remember and it’s been horrible that Smunchkin died with him. My mom tried to call me Smunch for a few days after he died but it just didn’t feel right to either of us. I always loved when he’d call and say “Oh hi, Smunch!” and it’s been really hard to accept that a beloved nickname died too. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560209677123-C2NT2NHQLP8FSI5SK97S/Amanda+Dutton+3.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Amanda | Boston, MA What is your dad’s name? Ed What’s your favorite memory of your dad? I have a lot of favorite memories. He was truly a great human and amazing Dad. He made sure any time together was one for the books, even in the smallest of ways. When I read this question I initially started to think of specific moments or trips or life events to talk about. But, as I shuffled through all the memories in my mind, it hit me. My absolute favorite memories are as simple as making mickey mouse pancakes together on Sunday and how he would dance in his weird Dad way and when he would burst into song at random around the house... "It was a bloody mary morning". I can still hear it. He had a zest for life and lived it to the fullest. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? Had patience and gave me room to grieve. I feel lucky to have a few close friends to show support. Particularly, right after he died and I was back home in Arizona my best friend flew in and answered the phone at 6am when I randomly called her and asked if she would just come and sit with me by the lake near our house. She came immediately and just sat with me in silence, let me cry and reminisced and we talked about him and our memories. It was so helpful to be able to just let it out and to have someone talk about him with me instead of tiptoeing around me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560212949224-IUL9JG4DAO6VEF6GSUON/Melissa+Cotton.jpg Father's Day 2019 Melissa | Newmarket, NH What is your dad’s name? Michael What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I wish they’d ask more about him rather than focus on how he died. He died by suicide and I hate how there is still so much stigma behind it. They focus on that and sometimes react negatively to me telling them. He was a good person and his manner of death does not define who he was as a person. He was a good dad. What’s your favorite memory of your dad? We used to go to the movies every weekend. We started going when I was around 7 years old and we kept the ritual going until his passing last year. I’m currently 28. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560285968759-IOMTX6UTAZROPE9SBJR3/Bridget%2BMarkham%2B2.jpg Father's Day 2019 Bridget | San Diego, CA What is your dad’s name? James What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My favorite memory of my dad was probably two years before his death. I was in my senior year of college and was stressed about not knowing what career path I wanted to go down, especially while being surrounded by friends who seemed like they had it all figured out. My dad, at 71 years old and a successful lawyer, looked at me and said, "Nobody knows what they want to do with the rest of their life. I still haven't figured it out yet." And that was the end of the conversation. It's a conversation that I think about so often when I'm stressed. Such a sweet memory of how amazing my father was at always knowing the right things to say. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? One of my great friends sent me knock-knock jokes for a very long time. They were the worst jokes I've ever heard. At the same time, they were the best jokes and exactly what I needed in the months after my dad's death. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560286087838-CW9QM4CLLVEWZWM2NL3Q/Gillian+Silver+2.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Gillian | Berkeley, CA What is your dad’s name? David What’s your favorite memory of your dad? It is so hard to pinpoint a favorite memory, but my dad was very adventurous and we spent a lot of time outdoors together. We would go on hikes (my dad, sister, sometimes my mom and sometimes my grandfather) and we would be hiking along, and my dad would go out of sight. We would spot him some minutes later, having scrambled up a distant rock, waving at us. He was always kind of stubborn about his adventures. He wouldn’t listen to my grandma’s orders to come home before dark when we would visit my grandparents. He would drive way out of the way to see an interesting natural artifact. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? Someone who lost her father at a younger age told me in the days after he died, that she would still be around to check in on me even after the initial rush of condolences and sympathy died down. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560286217966-RRKEN7HEVRNL5AEZYH3Z/Meta+Getman.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Meta | Minneapolis, MN What is your dad’s name? Jim What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss him calling me on his way home from work to say hi. I also miss going on boat rides with him. What is Father’s Day like for you now? It is bittersweet. My first Father’s Day without my dad was my husbands first Father’s Day as a dad. I love being able to focus on my husband that day but deeply miss my own dad. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560307511008-YNARK1WE799M9WANIRCY/Lisa%2BBaker.jpg Father's Day 2019 Lisa | Chelmsford, MA What is your dad’s name? Sterling What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? Spending time with me is what Dad always did. As a little girl I just wanted to be around him. I’d mow the lawn with him, go with him to Star City IGA, sit on the steps at camp while he grilled supper, and in later years sit on the porch at my own house while he did a crossword and I read a book. I just wanted to be near him. And that's what I miss most, his quiet presence. His work ethic, his desire and ability to find the common ground that breeds compromise, his optimism, and his infectious belly laugh were the best parts of him, and I miss him every day because he taught me how to be a good citizen. What’s your favorite memory of your dad? When I was 22 I was a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding. It was time in my life when I didn't feel great about my body and had extra weight on. Ordering the chosen bridesmaid dress was a nightmare for me when my size wasn't in stock. Dad made several calls to the company for me to take the stress off me, and did everything in his power to not make me feel defined by a dress or a size. The dress never did fit quite right (in fact, Men's Warehouse practically sewed me in it the day of the wedding when we were in a pinch). When the wedding as all over and I was home visiting later that year he goes, "You know what, I think we should burn that stupid dress." And we did. And it felt glorious! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560287038963-QL26DLM9LHURKHEFELGF/Christie+Soto+1.jpg Father's Day 2019 Christie | Orlando, FL What is your dad’s name? Gregory What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? My dad used to sing a song, whenever I missed his calls he’d leave it as a voicemail. It was just some silly song with my name in it, but he made it up when I was a kid and I can still hear the words today. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? Listened. Cried with me. Nothing anyone said really made it better but feeling like they understood my pain a little did sort of help. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560287372290-V7IG57KNDKYKX1CHHPKT/Katie+Osgood+1.png Father's Day 2019 Katie | Vancouver, WA What is your dad’s name? John What’s your favorite memory of your dad? I was usually practicing piano when my dad would come home from work, plop down in his recliner, close his eyes and in between songs say, "MORE!". He's always told me that when I played piano it almost made him feel like he was levitating because he loved it so much. Another favorite memory I have is when my car would be parked just slightly differently than I had left it, with a FULL tank of gas (he always got so terse with me about letting my tank get to close to empty). He was the only person with the extra key. He was always giving to me in sneaky ways and trying to disguise it was him. He never wanted the attention for the giving, he just wanted me to receive. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss his voicemails: "The message is I LOVE YOU! Buh bye." I miss how he would pick up any coin he found on the ground. Once he found a quarter and it was glued to the floor of the mall. He didn't let that stop him, he got out his pocket knife and pried that puppy up and proudly plopped it in his pocket. I miss having coffee with him on the front porch and talking about *everything*. I miss buying him Tillamook extra sharp cheddar cheese baby loafs. I miss the way he dissected a plate of spaghetti like he was a brain surgeon. I miss seeing him shuffle around in his solid red Nike Air Jordan High tops (they're mine now and I wear them with pride but it's not the same). I could keep going but I'll stop myself now. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560288221015-KHIT42YZXIQCGQYC2WY3/Jess+Valli.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Jess | Boston, MA What is your dad’s name? Bob What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Singing Beastie Boys "No Sleep for Brooklyn" in the truck to me, and purposefully mispronouncing it "No Sleep for Broccoli" so my sister and I would laugh. What do you wish people would ask you about you dad? I wish people would ask about what he taught me, or what he liked doing. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560288320638-ECLXUT49LVCWF3SSR7QG/Bryna%2BTalamantez.jpg Father's Day 2019 Bryna | Plano, TX What is your dad’s name? Robert What’s your favorite memory of your dad? I have great memories of my dad at Christmas. For those couple days a year, we would be able to forget that he was sick and we would have fun opening presents, eating good food, and playing with my new toys. He was always in the background with the video camera, but he was there and felt all the joy that I did on those days. What do you wish people would ask you about you dad? I wish that people would ask about him more and just bring him up. I also wish that I could learn more about him since he died when I was still young. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560288440888-52I6MRUOE2812Y2JRQIR/Megan+Gras.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Megan | Vermont What is your dad’s name? Bobby What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Anything that involves us laughing together, which covers a lot of memories. On a more serious note: the sensitive, encouraging approach he always took to giving me advice. Is there anything else that you want to share? I want to share that my sister and I see a butterfly as a symbol for our dad. We lost him to very early onset Alzheimer’s, which has been compared to a butterfly. I had a rare instance where I was crying at work, and all of a sudden a huge group of butterflies were at my window at work. I just stared laughing and said “ok ok I get it !!” My dads heart was broken any time he saw me cry. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560288604122-XQEVE7606MRL9K5ESRV1/Sasha+Muradali.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Sasha | New York City, NY What is your dad’s name? Neville What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss everything. His smile, his laugh, the smell of his cologne, his jokes (he had an awesome wicked sense of humor), and his eyes. My daddy had had the prettiest eyes, and they made him the envy of his brothers and sisters. When he passed away, we still talked about how beautiful and unique they were. When, I was smaller, I used to ask how come I never got his eyes ... or his eyelashes! I have to wear mascara, ugh! lol What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? My friend Nicole, who is also my sorority sister, lets me email her multiple times a day, every day, and she responds. We talk about everything. But, she lets me talk about my daddy in circles until I feel like it. A few of my friends, and my apartment building as well, sent me flowers to my apartment. I'm from Miami, and I live in NYC, so getting flowers in NYC after returning from Miami was nice. It actually helped me. My father had a garden, and my grandma taught him how to garden, so flowers reminded me of him. The friends who sent flowers, week after week, it gave me something to smile about. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560288772827-0N2CN6M56KQON0HJVEJP/Rory.jpg Father's Day 2019 Rory | North Carolina What is your dad’s name? Kim What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss just being able to call him with stuff. I've had so many times over the last two and a half years that I've done something exciting that would thrill him--and I can't. I bought a bass guitar a few weeks ago that I've been wanting since I was 12--Dad knew all about it and would've loved to get one for me if he'd've been able to afford it. I had an "I gotta call Dad" moment leaving the store. Is there anything else that you want to share? One of my favorite things my dad ever said: "Nothing is normal. And if it is, run." https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560288914137-YO8ZV0DBHLHUUKTBFLCG/Ida+Dolce+3.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Ida | Chicago, IL What is your dad’s name? Ron What’s your favorite memory of you dad? Riding in the car with him. That was just “our time.” We’d bond and talk about everything and nothing What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? Just being able to talk to him. I know that sounds simple, but we were so close, that if we didn’t see each other, we talked multiple times a day. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560289085648-FK78SEU9QCKC8PLZJHA6/Jenn%2BBologna.jpg Father's Day 2019 Jennifer | San Marcos What is your dad’s name? Sam What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss all the things that used to annoy me about him. His loud footsteps down the hall, his reckless driving, his nail biting. I would do anything to have even those things back. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? My aunt got me a key chain engraved with the last words in the last poem my father wrote to me when I went off to college: "I am close and in your heart, know I am near even when we are apart". She also made me pillows made of his shirts and pajamas. These remind me of his presence always. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560289186381-15SM2Z3G1GH94MF4V9CO/Sara%2BChasse%2B1.jpg Father's Day 2019 Sara | Boston, MA What is your dad’s name? Bob What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss his voice, laugh, and smile. He would light up the room no matter what the occasion was. His presence made everything (including trips to the bank) fun. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? A few friends made dinner, brought wine, and their kids crafted cards when I returned back from my hometown. It was extremely thoughtful and helped get my mind off the pain and encouraged me to focus on the positive. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560292976594-BV73SCW9SRHXONNOW4VJ/Brooke+Colbourne.jpg Father's Day 2019 Brooke | Beaverton, OR What is your dad’s name? Cass What’s your favorite memory of you dad? My favorite memories with my dad are the times we were in the car together, as simple as it was. My dad would just let loose and rock out to some fun music; AC/DC, Talking Heads, No Doubt, Men at Work & so much more...I remember him vividly drumming on the steering wheel and singing along. He was so alive and so happy, those moments I'll never forget. It's painful but also brings me so much joy to listen to all the music we shared when I was younger. It's amazing how music can just bring us back into a moment in time and that moment is not lost and is a beautiful memory. What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? My dad gave so much love to those around him. He was an extremely giving person and put love above all things. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560297381570-LS260323491JHTYTGKEK/Angie%2BRuddell%2B1.jpg Father's Day 2019 Angie | Denver, CO What is your dad’s name? Jim What’s your favorite memory of you dad? My dad started our restaurant by smoking fish in our backyard and selling it on the side of the road. I would bake brownies to sell so I could save up for a pink rhinestone collar for my cat. We spent most weekends together in remote parts of the county selling fish and brownies until the highway patrol would come by and shut us down. The next weekend we would move somewhere else until 2000 when my mom found a storefront, and we began the journey towards becoming a brick and mortar. The rest is history. What do miss (or not miss) about your dad? I really miss the hugs and hearing my dad’s comforting voice. Everyday he would ask me, “have I told you I love you today?” And he would say “today is Tuesday, all day, how would you like your eggs this morning and your little sausages?” His commander in the army would say this to him crew, and it always made me laugh. I would say scrambled with ketchup. My mom and I say this to each other now. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560297051416-2NOQC8NA4RBV56CYFJN8/Colleen+Conradi+2.jpg Father's Day 2019 Colleen | San Rafael, CA What is your dad’s name? Paul What’s your favorite memory of you dad? I miss playing softball with my dad, when he'd take me to go practice my pitching. I miss being on the mound during a game and seeing him watching right behind the umpire and home plate. I miss listening to "Jump Around" in the car before every game and hearing him sing along "I came to get down!" I miss watching/listening to San Francisco Giants games and getting way too heated together when things were going wrong. I miss hearing him threaten to call Bruce Bochy with the bullpen phone in the dugout. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? If you know someone who lost their dad, ask them as many questions as you can. Say their name. Tell them every memory that pops into your head, even if to you it is completely insignificant because to us, everything is important. And check in with them on holidays. Getting through the first round of holidays is the worst part, but that doesn't mean all the holidays after that aren't extremely hard. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560297231300-BHKDTXYKH9GNUOSGWS5B/Kimsey+Kerr+1.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Kimsey | Nashville, TN What is your dad’s name? Kevin What’s your favorite memory of you dad? There are so many memories I could share about my dad. One thing that lives in my mind is our daughter dad dates. We would take a ride to Steak N Shake, sit at the bar, order our usual and talk about anything and everything. Sitting there with him is where I learned some of my most important lessons. When I go back home I drive over to that same Steak N Shake and sit at the bar and think of him and what he would say to me at that moment. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? I connected with Alee who was hosting the Nashville table and joined The Dinner Party a month after my dad’s passing. She immediately asked me to join their next meeting and it warmed my heart so much. Meeting other people who have been on the same journey really helps you not feel “alone”. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560298123152-9XNATR9IGYTC5F7HWAIW/Janet%2BWood.jpg Father's Day 2019 Janet | Atlanta, GA What is your dad’s name? David What’s your favorite memory of you dad? When he took my sister and I chasing UFOs turns out, they were just spotlights...but he played along. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? That he encouraged my sister and I to learn everything we could. Even if it went against his beliefs, he taught us to make decisions for ourselves. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560298278245-P01ZWZOD1S3AKMW6O09N/Sam%2BSweigert.jpg Father's Day 2019 Samantha | Lancaster, PA What is your dad’s name? Daniel What’s your favorite memory of you dad? The time he pretended to be an Olympic figure skater in the living room to get us all to laugh. His triple toe loop was on point! What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? Sent me letters in the mail. One friend’s wish was that my “grief be fierce,” and that has stuck with me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560298526270-MCZCGMZ5KG81KW2OJ08O/Emma+Dickson+1.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Emma | Atlanta, GA What is your dad’s name? Bill What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss (and don't miss) driving him to and from work when I was home from college. It was really inconvenient but it was time with him that I wouldn't trade for the world now that he's gone. Even if it was mostly quietly listening to the radio and he always closed the sunroof as soon as he got in the car. He became the worst back seat driver and was so jumpy. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? When my dad was in hospice, there was a cooler on our front porch. I don't think it was ever empty. So many people loved my dad and knew he would've done the same for them. He didn't really cook much but he had a recipe for Chex Mix that was his signature. A neighbor brought us everything we needed to make it with him but he passed before we could make it. So the morning of his funeral, my siblings and I made his Chex Mix Recipe together. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560298639086-KIL8VTDNRFNA9CXFSYEM/Chole%2BZakhour%2B1.jpg Father's Day 2019 Chloe | Orange County, CA What is your dad’s name? Gihad What’s your favorite memory of your dad? His ability to make a room feel whole. Not one memory can suffice. His endless jokes, advice, smile and joy. The way he called my sisters and I “my girls”. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss his presence. I miss his eggs and popcorn, his loud phone calls in the morning talking to everyone, his days in the garden, sitting having coffee, sitting at night in the bedroom gossiping with my whole family before bed. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560298877687-R69WXIL20AYOPBEDYN62/Abby+Motycka.jpg Father's Day 2019 Abby | New York City, NY What is your dad’s name? Greg Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Every day without my dad is a day I have to keep going and I hate that for me (and all of us out there grieving). It's been 2.5 years now since November 16, 2016 almost to the day and I still can't believe this is my life. A life where I have one less person who unconditionally loves me, which makes me cry right now typing this. Of course it's depressing, but I want him to know how much I've grown, how far I've come in putting my life slowly back together. I really want him to be proud of me and I'll never quite get that answer even though people love to say how proud he would be (people who just don't know what to say to a grieving child). It's hard because my dad was a loner and I hurt for him more than I hurt for anyone else. I wish he had friends so I could talk to them and grieve with them - I think that would really help. He was so so special and the world didn't give him a fair shot. I just miss him. He is the only person who could help me get through grief and he isn't here. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560299002662-3SUK7DP9YXSHLE4QI19V/Marcy+Schaeffer.jpg Father's Day 2019 Marcy | Baltimore, MD What is your dad’s name? Gary What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss my academic cheerleader. My dad was not only the smartest person I've ever known, but also was an incredible mentor at work and at home. He helped me and my sister struggle through fractions as preteens, demanded we had a whiteboard in our rooms for hard homework problems, advocated for us in school board meetings, and provided feedback for MANY drafts of resumes and personal statements for college/grad school. A couple months before he passed, I was accepted into a PhD program, and I knew that was going to be the biggest life highlight I was going to be able to share with him. When I later visited the program and didn't get bombarded with eager phone calls from him, wondering how it was going, I knew that his time was getting closer. I finished my Master's degree from home as he left us peacefully. Fast forward 4 years, and, at the end of this month, I'm going to defend my dissertation and (hopefully) become a PhD! While I'll be missing him SO much, I also know that my academic cheerleader is still rooting for me <3 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560299116399-276JOBSXF2FR8ZRU42UD/Faith+Welty+2.JPG Father's Day 2019 Faith | Indiana What is your dad’s name? Todd What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Sitting on the front porch during the summer afternoons and just hanging out. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? They showed up and helped keep his memory alive by letting me be vulnerable and just talk about him (the good, the bad and the ugly). https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560299184841-SRN5NWDIXN1EB5LM93WL/Laura+Grosack.jpg Father's Day 2019 Laura | Philadelphia, PA What is your dad’s name? Marc What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Our coffee talks. Whenever I went home to visit or my parents came to me, my Dad would always say, "Can't wait to get a cup of coffee with you." It was our special time to sit and talk about life, fears, the future, and laugh. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? My sister-in-law's sister is someone who I consider to be family. She heard about my father's death and immediately came to be with my family and helped with things like ordering coffee and breakfast, watching my niece, and offering unlimited hugs. I recently got engaged and we had dinner and she spoke openly with me about my feelings of not having my Dad at my wedding and how we would honor him there. It was so comforting to me to talk about something that had been on my mind for a long time and acknowledge it with love. I think the best thing you can do for someone grieving is just to talk and not assume that just because they don't bring it up it isn't on their minds. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560299249626-WZAUQU0O7X1F1IKP6LFR/Karen+Johnson.jpg Father's Day 2019 K | Philadelphia, PA What is your dad’s name? Mark What’s your favorite memory of your dad? One of my favorite memories is driving in my Dad’s pickup truck in the summertime listening to grunge/alternative music and singing the words together. We would go pick up corn and fruit at our local produce stand and sometimes take a little longer getting home because we would stop for ice cream and totally play it cool when my Mom would ask what took so long. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? When my Mom’s good friends told me that it doesn’t get easier but gets a little more bearable. I can feel whatever I want to feel and not have to apologize for it but I should understand how to talk about it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560300193762-Y057RJ6M90C7RLM7LKBS/Shelby+Remillard.jpg Father's Day 2019 Shelby | New York City, NY What is your dad’s name? David What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My dad was an outdoorsy guy, he loved hiking in the mountains in Colorado (where we’re from). In August 2009 before he passed away in September of that year, he finally won and got me to go out to the mountain with him (I’m not the most outdoorsy person because I hate bugs). But he lead me on his favorite trail, up to a peak that over looked the whole city. We sat there in awe together. I can never forget this memory and when I miss him I go back to that memory in my mind. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? My friend, Taylor, in college would always let me talk about my dad whenever I wanted to, and was always there to comfort me , especially in my first year of grief. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560300465815-9BDRKJID3K7IXVCC0B9F/Julia+Dearden.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Julie | Providence What is your dad’s name? Stuart What’s your favorite memory of your dad? As a kid, playing catch in the front yard and going to the diner for pancakes on Saturday mornings just him and I. As an adult, having a couple beers and talking life or listening to great music on long drives along the river. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? We were so similar, I always felt like we were two peas in a pod. I miss not having his wisdom, advice and smile for sure. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560300787497-9USV75VNMX9KKKHZ5ERC/Divya+Lulla.jpg Father's Day 2019 Divya | Phoenix, AZ What is your dad’s name? Raju What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Many. On top of my head/ heart: When I was in high school, he'd drop me off to class on his way to work and before I stepped out of the car, he’d ask "Do you have enough Vitamin M?" Vitamin M was his code for money or allowance. He knew my hesitation in asking for it. What is Father’s Day like for you now? Calendar holidays don't matter as much. It's the random days and moments that trigger an intense missing. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560300699661-HJ23CYMC1H2F7BWOP37K/Ashleigh+Andrew.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Ashleigh | Texas What is your dad’s name? Marty What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My favorite memory of my dad is his laugh and his mischievous side. He would tug on my hair or try to tickle me and pretend it wasn’t him when I turned to look. He also drank Diet Coke all the time and would forget where he put the can until he opened another one. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss being able to call him on my drives home from work and being able to tell him about my day. We talked at least once a week and now car rides are hard when I’m alone. I also miss his meals. No one makes food that tastes the same like his and it’s really hard on me when I realize that. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560300812044-GA7C3Z904PETEQ97RGBQ/Ryan+Wieser.jpg Father's Day 2019 Ryan | Boise, ID What is your dad’s name? Scott What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My dad always made me laugh. Even just doing stupid random things he just always has a knack for making people bus to out laughing. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? Having a best friend. We did everything together. We spent hours and hours just hanging out with each other running errands getting the cars washed. He was my best friend. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560300868137-JO8Z06FQCO08QC5V88KW/Sanchita+Bose+1.JPG Father's Day 2019 Sanchita | Houston, TX What is your dad’s name? Subid What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? His incredible story about how he came to the US as an immigrant from India and worked hard every day to send his kids through school. Now I’m a physician and my brother is an attorney. If only he could be with us now. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? He was my best friend and loved me no matter what. He always had my back, even if I was wrong. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560301191034-RLO56QVUYOQH6ROPHYEO/Nicole+Garcia.jpg Father's Day 2019 Nicole | Los Angeles, CA What is your dad’s name? Eusebio “Joe” What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? We used to road trip down to South Padre Island, TX every summer and I always remember listening to Gypsy Kings or Alan Jackson alllll the way there. That music still reminds me of those fun summer trips :) What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? Sharing stories about my dad. How he impacted their life or funny stories they shared with him. It helped me learn a different part of who my dad was. . https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560301832190-X1ET1M6XMNXFKQ84PMR8/Katie%2BGrundin.jpg Father's Day 2019 Katie | Evanston, IL What is your dad’s name? Bill What is your favorite memory of your dad? One of my favorite memories of my step-dad is when I was learning how to drive. He would take me out driving in his forest green Subaru Outback and would sit back in the passenger seat and talk about his philosophy on life while I navigated the roads. It was one of the first times I had time with just him since we had become part of a blended family. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? My best friend, who lives out of state, would call me and check-in on me. She'd ask me how I was doing and let me talk about how I was feeling about what I was going through. She wasn't afraid to talk about my step-dad and bring him up in conversation and to this day still does and I'm forever grateful . https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560301869455-PPA2VU8LU41KJHFDQE2N/Nate+Santa+Maria+2.jpg Father's Day 2019 Nate | Charlotte, NC What is your dad’s name? Guillermo What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? My father was my rock. He gave the best advice, had an open door policy with all my friends, and was by far the easiest person to talk to in my family. He always celebrated my accomplishments, too. He was in the front row of all my high school plays and was genuinely proud of who I was and that I was his daughter. He always made me feel like one-of-a-kind. What is your favorite memory of your dad? My father was always a jokester. He carried a whoopee cushion and asked waitresses for a toothpick even though he never wore his dentures. I used to be embarrassed by his antics when I was younger but I miss how much he always made me laugh. I also loved watching him dance with my mom. They were a sight to see on the dance floor! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560302040258-41G1OJUJN4SGFZKDI4LR/Jen+Miosi.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Jen | Cincinnati, OH What is your dad’s name? Joe What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss the way that he called me “Pumpkin” and the way he was able to gauge when something was wrong and willing to give you a big bear hug to help fix it. What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I wish they would ask me how things transpired around his death and ask me what handling life as a Survivor of Suicide is like. Silence, to me, makes it worse. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560302214582-4PWHK88JY92UT5N0UIJK/Melissa+Schepers+2.jpeg Father's Day 2019 Melissa | Philadelphia, PA What is your dad’s name? Bert What is your favorite memory of your dad? My dad was born and raised in the Netherlands, so once a year when I was growing up my dad, mom, siblings and I would visit his family in Holland and often bike, eat cheese, and indulge in the simple lifestyle of the country. He was the cheapest person I know and because we did this trip to Holland every year we rarely went on any other vacations growing up. Because of this, whenever we were in Holland my dad would always take us to the supermarket and without fail tell us that here- at the Dutch supermarket- we were able to get WHATEVER we wanted. That was what made these visits to my Father's small home town "a vacation" ...endless spending freedom but only at the supermarket https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560210278833-N311AZFQ4L9161WYCUX2/Marie%2BLance.jpg Father's Day 2019 Marie | Ohio What is your dad’s name? Kim What’s your favorite memory of your dad? When I was 16, I spent a few weeks in France on a school trip. It was the longest I had ever been away from my Dad at that point. When I got off the plane back home I figured he would be waiting for me in the pick up lane. But he had come inside the airport to meet me right before baggage claim. But I noticed him after I had gotten on the down escalator. So with my carry-on and backpack in tow I turned around and ran up the down escalator and to my Dad. I was so happy to be home. What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? I just wish people would be less uncomfortable when I bring him up. Like yes, he is dead. But he was a wonderful Dad and person and I need to be able to talk about him without feeling like I’m making everyone in the room heart sick. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560302373303-HB8HIAN5G5KLL0JS29BK/Susan%2BCombs.jpg Father's Day 2019 Susan | Queens, NY What is your dad’s name? Roger What’s your favorite memory of your dad? This man taught me, “It’s important for you to be understood, but it’s more important for you to not be misunderstood.” I think one of us kids quotes this weekly. This man taught me to be independent and have a common knowledge of how to fix some things. Then if all else fails, WD-40 and duct tape will fix almost anything. This man taught me to parallel park between a horse trailer and a feed truck out on the Mule Shoe Ranch. Living in NYC, this skill has become priceless. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1560537025702-IIHRMOHWOTB6L66TNZRC/Erica.jpg Father's Day 2019 Erica | Athens, OH What is your dad’s name? Conley What’s your favorite memory of your dad? I have many, but as an over all theme, we went to a lot of Dave Matthews Band concerts together. I am so fortunate to have had a relationship with my dad where we could have fun and just be 100% ourselves around each other and these concerts were he definition of that. What’s something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your dad? My two best friends brought beer to the calling hours and we toasted in my dads memory in the parking lot. (My dad likes beer, my friends and I didn’t so we gagged our way through it. It was a nice light moment in an otherwise devastating day). https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557289616906-CXX9TPYB20SQV6ZKC0M2/TDP-logomark.png Father's Day 2019 Vaishali | Mumbai What is your dad’s name? Subhash What’s your favorite memory of your dad? He always brings jalebi and laddoos on every academic result. What do you miss (or not miss) about you dad? His hugs whenever I feel alone and his motivation when I struggle in life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557289255931-4FDVS7VJBX6SM4HY9AOC/TDP-logomark.png Father's Day 2019 Elvira | Los Angeles, CA What is your dad’s name? Sergio What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? His unconditional support and love. What do you wish people would ask you about your dad? About who he was, he was such a diverse man. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1557289241593-1RCEE2HIDQD73I8RQ02U/TDP-logomark.png Father's Day 2019 Phoebe | Napa, CA What is your dad’s name? Terry Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? My dad was a feminist before being a feminist was the norm, even in California. He was an ally to POC back when being an ally could get you killed. He was an adventurer with a scoundrel's soul, whose youth was spent on questionably legal endeavors all around the world. Joan Baez kissed him once, during the Summer of Love in San Francisco, and if I had a nickel for every time I've heard that story from him, I'd be a very rich woman. My dad marched with us at the very first women's march, and it was his idea to get us all matching pink armbands, which he wore with pride the entire day. When I came out to him - while he was very sick - he reacted as though I had just remarked on the weather, and he was the first person who comforted me when my first girlfriend dumped me. This will be my first Father's Day without my dad. I miss him. https://www.thedinnerparty.org/survivors-of-suicide-loss-2019 daily 0.75 2025-08-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574121724035-5GMC0YGEN7S32NN6SLAK/Guinevere+Dorado.jpeg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Guinevere | Haslett, MI What's the name of the person you lost? Matthew David What was your relationship to them? Wife What is your favorite memory of them? The way he comforted me, “you can never disappoint me”. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? A friend told me that suicide is caused by something like a cancer of the emotions. Thinking of Matt dying from emotional cancer was comforting to me—it took away my guilt that I somehow didn’t do “enough” to stop it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574122570817-OQOV0Q2Y4XAUNK4PYRR0/Ashley+Anderson.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Ashley | Chicago, IL What's the name of the person you lost? Mary Lou What was their relationship to you? My mom What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss my mom's face. I would always look at her blue eyes and smooth skin and think how pretty she was. I miss watching her interact with my dad and being able to see how much they loved each other. I miss the way she would hold and rub my hand. I don't miss watching the mother I loved so much fade away because of depression and anxiety. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? My close friends traveled countless hours to be at the visitation and funeral, but the most impactful think was that they acted NORMAL around me. We laughed, drank wine, talked about my mom, talked about suicide, and it was so impactful to be able to be myself in those first few weeks. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574128260868-XU88ZJL4ZPJ4EU1J02DE/Theodore+Daley.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Theodore | New York, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Nadine Simone What was their relationship to you? Sister What is your favorite memory of them? Too many to pick one, I would say my favourite is when I was 8 years old, my sister (then 20) bought me a sweater for Christmas. I was so sad but she said to "open and let me see if it fits you", out falls the one videogame I was begging my parents to get me. I hate surprises but that was the only time I was ever happy to be surprised. It wasn't the gift so much as the fact she knew EXACTLY at every single moment in my life how to make me feel special. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? I would say perhaps the best thing would be to share with everyone that life is hard. But it doesn't mean it needs to be hard and on your own. Sharing a bit of the load is how we all get through the hard days and it's what we want to do during the good ones. Don't be a stranger. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574210826072-V9KW3ZH0WH7C5IUQI44R/Dorothy+Wigon.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Dorothy | San Francisco, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Olivia What was their relationship to you? Sister What is your favorite memory of them? Her laugh. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss her advice. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Tell me memories they had of my sister. Read more from Dorothy here. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574129003104-JIB10LQ4IZZJTJ5NC8GH/Kara+Lewis.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Kara | Jackson, MI What's the name of the person you lost? Jon What was your relationship to them? Jon is my brother. Both my brothers and I were adopted from different countries and at different ages. Jon came into our family as an older adoption, so we are the same age, but not blood related. He hated me at first, even cut me out of family pictures, but as we grew older, we became really close. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss having someone to call whenever anything goes wrong. He and I used to vent about anything and everything to each other. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? A friend sent me a letter about a month after his death. She told me that she waited so long because she knew from experience that that is when people stop checking in on you. She also knew that Jon had a rock collection and she made me a display case with a picture of him so I can display his rock collection. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574129404010-9HUP22NSAL6XNFW726G6/Betsy%2BKaplan.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Betsy | New York, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Joel What was their relationship to you? My father What is your favorite memory of them? My dad and I shared a special bond over music. Some of the greatest memories I have with him have been at Pearl Jam concerts. There was one time where I was very young and this couple was extremely drunk and smoking pot behind us. My dad had to ask them to stop blowing smoke at me and they laughed in his face. Thinking back on it now, it's one of the funniest concert memories I have with him. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people asked about him more. His interests, what kind of person he was, etc. He shouldn’t be this person we don’t speak of because of the stigma attached to the way he left. I miss him, and I want to talk about him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574130122859-JL2H9WBNJQN3RTO0Z29F/Julia+White.jpeg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Julia | Santa Clara, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Garrett What was your relationship to them? Former partner What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss Garrett's endless drive to understand and empathize with others. His graceful vulnerability and embodiment of mindfulness was contagious. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Someone who knows me really well (at the time a friend, now my current partner) told me to call them whenever, without sending a text beforehand. They knew me well enough to know that I need that clear directive—"Don't worry about texting beforehand. Just call." I could tell they genuinely meant that promise. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574130390625-DQU25PV99TFQA3BL3G20/Mary+Nelligan.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Mary | Hull, MA What's the name of the person you lost? Owen What was your relationship to them? Owen was my little brother What is your favorite memory of them? My favorite memory of Owen. My favorite memories are from high school and college when Owen was little. I was always so proud to have a little brother 12 years younger than me. I was his second mom and I bragged about it all the time. My mom would bring him to every game of mine and he would play and run around and cause endless entertainment for anyone who was not sufficiently entertained by a high school girls field hockey game. Every game I could look over and see him, so tiny still, with his red elmo hat running around on his tippy toes. And at the end of every game my mom would release him and let him run across the field which he’d been dying to do all game. He’d run right through the crowd of high school girls all wearing identical uniforms and find me, his big sister. He’d run full force at me and I’d scoop him up into the air and carry him triumphantly back across the field. I was never embarrassed of him. I loved him too much. Owen used to come to my room when he had bad dreams. At first he would stand at the top of the stairs and yell down to my mom. I would always wake up first and go out to rescue him. I would tuck him into my bed with me hug him till he fell asleep. Eventually he would just come to my room without calling for my mom. He would crawl into my bed and whisper, I had a bad dream scout, let me in! I never sent him away. I always let him in even when he was so big I eventually had to let him fall asleep in my bed and sneak into his room to sleep in his bed. My mom would come in in the morning to find her 19 year old daughter in her 7 year old’s bed and her 7 year old taking up her 19 year old daughter’s entire bed. I never minded though, I loved him too much. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574130557025-1L8VT5P9KOLF9EP4LLNX/Jamie+Hoffman.JPG Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Jamie | Brooklyn, NY What's the name of the person you lost? My dad Herb Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I like being asked the simplest of questions. I was at a party over the weekend talking about home repairs and someone asked if my dad was handy around the house. I like when others are curious about him because it frees up the sometimes burden of keeping his memory alive, the feeling that if I bring him up I’m bringing down a conversation. It’s nice to access a “normal” memory and have all the other stuff fall away for a moment. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? We need to find better ways to talk about suicide. I find it used flippantly in normal conversation all the time, as a dark turn of phrase. There’s also a lot of room to be more respectful of survivors of suicide’s experiences by providing more thoughtful trigger warnings for books, plays, or movies. Be protective and caring of anyone in your life who's a survivor of suicide. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574130816577-9R4BUOTXJO99F13SEALZ/Kimberly+Worthington.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Kimberly | Orcas Island, WA What's the name of the person you lost? Nerissa What was their relationship to you? Mother Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I still get nervous talking about her suicide, and I often feel the nerves from others when we talk about suicide -- but this is why I want to talk about it! There are things in life that might make us feel super uncomfortable, I'm ready to get over that. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Four years after my mom's death, I was celebrating mother's day with my partner's family. His mom raised her glass and said, "for all the mothers who are not here today." She did so without reserve, without question, just openness. I very much appreciated that gesture. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574131031787-WJRCV26PTTIGL97XWO1N/Jen+Miosi.jpeg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Jen | Cincinnati, OH What's the name of the person you lost? Joe What was your relationship to them? He was my Father What is your favorite memory of them? My family grew up boating and my dad would always be the "captain" and wear some ridiculously patterned "doo-rag" while on the boat. He would always burn so easily in the sun and wind. A staple for our boat trips was to listen to Jimmy Buffett while cruising around. My dad loved his music. We all did. So just imagine a middle aged man, slightly heavy after years of enjoying food and beer, sunburnt, wearing a "doo-rag", playing the air guitar and singing along to Jimmy Buffett while captaining his vessel. This. This is my fondest memory of my father growing up. Summer after summer. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Survivor guilt is a very real thing when it comes to suicides. You often wonder what could you have done better, what didn't you do enough of, how could you have seen the signs sooner, did you miss signs that were present at the time, could you have prevented it, maybe if you had spent more time that day with him would it have changed things...? The list goes on and on. You just have to try to understand the frame of mind he was in at the time in hopes that it gives you some semblance of acceptance and peace with what happened. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574131360615-30CBL70G8ANF4OHB85HR/Megan+Boedicker.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Megan | Denver, CO What's the name of the person you lost? Christopher What was your relationship to them? Best friend What do you miss (or not miss) about them? His laugh & his smile—he had this way of lighting up the entire room when he was just being his goofy & genuine self. It would rub off on other people. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Suggested I go see a grief counselor who specialized in survivors of suicide. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Chris was a beautiful and kind soul who would put everyone else ahead of himself. This one act does not change that. Suicide is not “selfish”—he was deeply struggling, and even to his last moments here on earth, he was still the kind, compassionate and empathetic person he had always been. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574209219434-8LW9Q0CO17O5WPS60I3F/Courtney+Dowell.jpeg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Courtney | Bellevue, WA What's the name of the person you lost? Mariah What was their relationship to you? My little sister What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I mostly miss all the things we were supposed to do, like this year she should have graduated college and gone on a van trip and started her YouTube channel and we were supposed to move closer to each other. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? My boyfriend’s mom gave me a book about suicide loss. My brain wiring was completely shot and the book helped me understand my feelings and my family in a more objective way. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574209679799-USM99MLUIJNPECHGYRIN/Julia+Vanderput.JPG Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Julia | Los Angeles, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Robert What was your relationship to them? He was my father What is your favorite memory of them? Sadly, I don’t have memories with my father as he passed when I was not yet two. Thankfully, he journaled and illustrated in notebooks that I have and I am lucky to glean some of his essence through his art. I also cherish a video of my first birthday in which he dances with me. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? There’s not a lot to miss because I don’t have memories of him, which makes my case unique since my loss is different than most people experience. In fact, if there’s one thing I’d hope people understand is that grief isn’t more or less painful if you don’t have memories of the person. Loss is loss. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574209967226-UU6RMV5RCCLP4Z8I6YBV/Victoria+Helmly.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Victoria | Marietta, GA What's the name of the person you lost? Boris What was your relationship to them? Significant other/partner Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people would ask me more about him as a partner and why I love him. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? My grief over Boris's death has changed over time, but it is still so present. Sometimes it still feels unbearable and like I need a "grief day" where I can just be sad and angry. But, the world keeps spinning and it feels like everyone assumes I am over it by now. That part is hard. Read more from Victoria here. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574211236281-854OF2VCDVEORVZSB561/Claire+Tinsley.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Claire | Washington, DC What's the name of the person you lost? Kathryn Elaine What was your relationship to them? Daughter What is your favorite memory of them? Any time I was reunited with her after a period of being apart. I still vividly remember coming down three flights of stairs from my class in my college's most historic building to find her waiting for me on the porch at the start of my freshman year's Family Weekend. Though it had only been about a month since I moved in, I already missed her desperately. I ran into her arms and we hugged as though it had been years since we parted. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I so desperately wish people would ask about who she was. What she meant to me. What my favorite memories were. Even about her suicide - it can be so difficult to keep it all bottled up when I can tell that people (especially those I've recently met) are trying not to push the subject. It's ok! You can push the subject, as long as you're genuinely interested. This is especially true if we're dating. I've struggled a lot with bringing my mom up at the "right" time and not seeming like I'm asking for sympathy. A lot of guys just won't probe any further, even if I tell them outright that I love talking about her. To paraphrase the Spice Girls: if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get comfortable with hearing about my dead mom. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574211766687-V0Z663Z0Y04JT7H0C8TV/Elizabeth+Colucci.JPG Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Elizabeth | Harleysville, PA What's the name of the person you lost? Dean What was their relationship to you? Father What is your favorite memory of them? Singing landslide from fleetwood mac with him while he played the guitar. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Allow me to talk about my shame with how he died and work on accepting that my father was the type of man that did things on his terms. He left this world his way and that it's ok to miss him and it is ok to not be angry with him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574212239331-DQ4BV8E0W4IPE3Y4W3OV/Vanessa+Joho.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Vanessa | San Francisco, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Ursula What was your relationship to them? Sister What is your favorite memory of them? It's hard to say what my favorite memory was. We experienced too many things together. And since my sister was bipolar every positive experience tended to come with a negative as well. One of example was spending the Olympics 2016 - Rio with her. We fought a lot but also had some beautiful moments together. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Finding friends that were willing to listen to me talk about everything I was thinking and feeling really helped me piece my life back together. I lost a lot of friends at the time who I realized I had a superficial relationship with. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574212748208-JIH2B8R3ZV8RG076B7HE/Megan+Murray_sister.PNG Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Megan | Los Angeles, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Kathleen What was your relationship to them? Sister What is your favorite memory of them? Too many memories!! When we were in middle school Kat was obsessed with Natalie Merchant. We went to Lilith Fair, she wrote her a letter and I finagled our way down to the stage and threw the flowers and her letter on stage. Natalie read her letter out loud!! Kat was so happy :) What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Showed up, listened, didn’t ignore me because they didn’t know what to say. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574212919505-3LRTXVZWIGTBLIEC8B9G/Megan+Murray_mother.PNG Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Megan | Los Angeles, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Susan What was your relationship to them? Daughter Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people would erase the word “still” when speaking of grief. I’ve heard “oh you’re STILL upset about that?” way more times than I should have. Grief is a life long journey especially when the losses are so close together as in my case. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Losing my mother to suicide has been very different than losing my sister to suicide even though I lost them in the exact same way- almost exactly 3 years apart. This month will be a year since my mother’s suicide and I’m still working through it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574213366352-P8OFQG97G3LZEQA41Y1K/Sarah+Fournier.png Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 SJ | San Francisco, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Joz What was their relationship to you? My best friend What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss talking with them about the Universe. I don't miss seeing them in pain. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people would ask what I'm doing in my day to day to keep Joz alive. My mother did once and it changed everything. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? My partner and my chosen family continue to help me search for Joz in my life everyday and without that I don't know if I would be ok. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574213674359-D2P4T01D85YEQ4UBBLO7/Annie+Wilcox.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Annie | Providence, RI What's the name of the person you lost? Philip What was their relationship to you? My brother What is your favorite memory of them? I was 10 years old when my brother died. He was much older than me and lived across the country, so I have very few memories of him. I often cannot tell if my memories of him are my own, or if they are stories or photographs that others shared with me. My last known memory of my brother was the last time I saw him. He was recently married and was visiting us with his new wife. We were sitting outside on our porch on a beautiful, starry summer night. We have had so many family parties in that exact spot. We grew up in a rural part of the Northeast and on a clear night, you could see the Milky Way. My brother loved the stars so much it is impossible for me to look at the night sky without thinking about him. On this night, he was showing me how to catch fireflies in a jar. The memory is so brief, but so beautiful and so peaceful. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? I have many examples of people trying to help that were unintentionally damaging. As a child, I think everyone wanted to shield me from the pain and confusion of my brother’s death. But by shielding me, I was not able to grieve or to feel the depth and range of emotions that come with the death of a sibling. Loss during childhood is a different beast. It was not until adulthood that I allowed myself to process his death. I think it is helpful not to assume how someone grieved a death or that they have finished grieving no matter how much time has passed. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574214138071-3N83SUUGQH8F14T7QQCO/Jonelle+Lesniak.JPG Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Jonelle | Washington, DC What's the name of the person you lost? John What was their relationship to you? My dad What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss my dad's laugh and his voice. He had a full laugh that showed how much he was feeling joy in the moment. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? I have a few friends who regularly ask me, "How's dad?" I love that they do this because the question acknowledges the space he had and still has in my life, and gives me space to take the conversation to where I want to, or to whatever is on my mind about him, whether happy or sad or new things I'm processing. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574214591185-J5PB64PYCC9M05GLYHJO/Abby+Tatarian.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Abby | New England, USA What's the name of the person you lost? Aaron What was your relationship to them? Partner What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss Aaron’s patience, understanding, shiny laughter and way of making me light up and laugh. I miss his way of making me feel present. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish more people would ask me what Aaron was like. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Once Aaron's family-friend gave me a metal cube as a metaphor for my connection to Aaron. She wrote, “the cube symbolizes permanence and stability.” That meant a lot to me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574214803962-DEFF7B1YZKJHV3SRF0AL/Vanessa+Borotz.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Vanessa | Lansing, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Charlene What was your relationship to them? She was my mother What is your favorite memory of them? It is hard to pinpoint a single one, but my favorite memories of my mom include laughter. My mom had a way of making the most ordinary things so much fun for everyone. I happen to have a photo that captures my mother’s infectious enthusiasm embodied in her hula-hooping at the farmer’s market when my parents visited me just a little over a year before she died. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people would keep asking me about her. It has now been three years since she has died and I think for a lot of people that feels like a long time ago. Sure my experience of grief is different now than it was then. While the pain may be less raw, it is in some ways more ubiquitous. Because now with every holiday, anniversary, or life event, there are fresh reminders of loss. There are still days where it feels like it might as well have happened yesterday. I think people don’t want to bring her up because it may upset me but talking about her actually does the opposite. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574215364608-RV9BUOS5TXUCCJKY87EM/JD%2B2.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Jade | Philadelphia, PA What's the name of the person you lost? Evangeline What was your relationship to them? Sister What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Came over or dropped something off without asking me what I need first. I usually have no idea what I need or what to ask for. The most helpful friends are the ones who just say "I'm bringing you food" or "I'm picking you up". When someone says "let me know if you need anything", this transfers the burden of reaching out and also figuring out what I need back onto me. Processing my trauma takes all the emotional bandwidth I've got at the moment. Anything that relieves me of thinking and planning help the most. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Sharing resources has been helpful. I'm reading the book "Bearing the Unbearable" and listening to Life After Suicide podcast. Gives me something to focus on and reach for when I feel lost and hopeless. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574215752216-VRX01SFHG0GEBXUTELSE/Laura+Hirst.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Laura | United Kingdom What's the name of the person you lost? Stuart, Catherine What was your relationship to them? Father, Mother What do you miss (or not miss) about them? Their presence, love, care, phone calls. Their hugs. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Suicide loss is hell. People naturally don't know what to do or say but please know that something is better than nothing; in that void the suicide risk of those left behind can grow, their mental health affected. Those bereaved by suicide need the utmost kindness, compassion and love in action. Reach out and continue reaching out even if you don't hear anything. We may not have the energy or emotional resources to actively ask for help but we desperately need to be taken care of, our guilt tended to and assuaged, our flailing, confused, shocked minds soothed. There needs to be so much more awareness and education amongst the general public but also healthcare professionals on how to support and work with suicide loss survivors. We are an at risk group. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574216246323-WPGFT0EVQKCD0C50CPPE/Neely+Lawson.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Neely | Nashville, TN What's the name of the person you lost? Melena What was your relationship to them? Best friend of 20+ years (so really a sister) What is your favorite memory of them? All of them. But the moment she had her son and I walked into the room immediately after she finished labor and she just reached out to me like I was the only one in the room. That was a special moment for us. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss everything. So much it hurts. But I miss our late night laughing fits, boy talk, inside jokes that only she knew, and the non stop texting that we carried on for well over a decade. I miss traveling with her (she was the best travel buddy) and being absolutely ridiculous together when we were out in public just to try to embarrass one another. I miss her hugs and lounging on the couch on rainy days watching friends. Read more from Neely here. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574216565683-SN9QR66JRFHKDPSVGQXF/Samantha+Gordon.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Samantha | Los Angeles, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Randy What was their relationship to you? My dad What do you miss (or not miss) about them? Everything. I miss the sound of his voice, his laugh, his sense of humor, his ability to light up a room. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? His birthday & death anniversary are the same day, so every year I do something to celebrate him and focus on his birthday. Like drink his favorite beer or eat something he loved. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574216883234-J8P6ABMMSEKL166EH3BZ/Elizabeth+Laudadio.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Elizabeth | Madison, WI What's the name of the person you lost? Kathryn What was your relationship to them? Sister What is your favorite memory of them? We were inseparable when I was 15, spending the summer after my sophomore year of high school riding around in her car and blasting Red Hot Chili Peppers. We used to go for walks at night, and walked through my old elementary school playground as the soccer field was being watered by sprinklers. We ran through the sprinklers laughing and smiling for what felt like hours. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people would ask me anything about her. People shut down so quickly when they find out she's dead and how she died. I know they're trying to prevent saying anything that makes it worse, but saying nothing makes it worse. I want people to want to know about her, she is such a huge part of who I am. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574217256636-OBU3SS3O8II8EKLEVBSO/Corey+Clark.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Corey | Chicago, IL What's the name of the person you lost? Sharon What was your relationship to them? They were my mom What do you miss (or not miss) about them? Miss having daily conversations What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? I buy flowers to remind myself of my mom. I keep fresh seasonal flowers in my home to remind me of her. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574217608084-3XBDBJAS8EDG6RUO2CNK/Sophia+Laurenzi.JPG Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Sophia | Nashville, TN What's the name of the person you lost? Paul What was your relationship to them? Daughter What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I can't put into words all that I miss, but I especially miss the overall feeling that I still can connect to whenever I think of my dad--a feeling of being totally, unconditionally loved and understood. My dad's family is Italian-American, and we used to describe our relationship as "simpatico," which really meant we just clicked and got each other. I spent many car rides, walks, and lazy afternoons calling my dad where we would end up talking for hours. He always asked the right, and sometimes the hard, questions. He was able to strike an amazing balance of being incredibly warm and making you feel comfortable while also being very frank and engaging in vulnerability. I knew that we could disagree, I could make mistakes, and I could speak very openly without his love and support ever wavering. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people would not tell me how lucky I am that I had such a close relationship with him or all the time that I did have with him when I say how much I miss him or express that I'm struggling. In those moments, I don't want to be focusing on the good and feeling gratitude, I want to just feel and share how much it hurts. Especially with a suicide loss, it's also a reminder that there will always be a part of me hurt by the fact that he "chose" to leave me, no matter how much rational understanding of mental illness and trauma I have. I don't think people realize that comments like that can come across as a reminder that yes, we did have a wonderful relationship and it still wasn't enough to make him want to stay alive. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574217883552-S9V8V7ODJS8MKXDYI8YI/Kimberly+Hetherington.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Kimberly | Australia What's the name of the person you lost? Elizabeth What was your relationship to them? Sister What is your favorite memory of them? Wow, I have so many! She was always on the lookout for me, the typical protective big sister. As little babies she carefully cleaned the wheels of my stroller and plucked flowers for me to examine. As teenagers, it was not 'cool' to hang out but if anyone tried to bully me she would deal with the situation and I'd get a very heartfelt apology after. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? Ask me about what she was like, what was her name? Don't ask me how exactly she killed herself, if I believe everything happens for a reason, involve any sort of religious affiliation. Most people are too uncomfortable to get anywhere though, the conversation is just a standstill. Read more from Kimberly here. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574218300613-HLCFRMR07441XV7XL77J/Melissa+Cotton.JPG Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Melissa | Newmarket, NH What's the name of the person you lost? Mike What was your relationship to them? His daughter Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people still checked in with how I am doing. My dad died a little over a year ago and I still struggle. I have noticed that people who have not experienced significant loss expect you to be okay after the first year. This is not the case. Grief isn’t something you get over or move past, it’s a new way of living. A new normal. It becomes a part of you. There are days where it hits me and it feels just as raw as it did a year ago. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? After the first day and all our family was notified, my mom privately messaged all my friends what was going on. I spent the week at my mom’s and the door barely stayed closed. There was a revolving door of people that stopped by to check on me, bring over food, and even made me laugh when I thought that was impossible. I have never felt more loved and appreciated than I did that first week. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574218570468-34FSHTL3DZXPH2O0K6QL/Madison+Sullivan.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Madison | Chicago, IL What's the name of the person you lost? Kathy What was your relationship to them? She's my mom What is your favorite memory of them? My mom was the most devoted Harry Potter fan I have ever met. She and I snuck off from a family vacation in FL and drove to Orlando to go to Harry Potter World. We walked across the park and I realized she wasn't behind me. She had stopped a few feet from the gate and was just staring up at the Hogsmead sign, crying. It was pure joy. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? She often told me, "I waited my whole life for you." I can still hear her say it. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? About a month after I lost her, my friend (who has also lost her mother) left a gift bag on my apartment door. It was the perfume my mom used to wear when I was a kid. I had mentioned it before she'd passed and how I couldn't find it. I wear it whenever I need a little extra reminder she is with me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574275032996-DXUZLRZ6Q4OFU26BV8YW/sabina.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Sabrina | Brooklyn, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Phil What was their relationship to you? Father What is your favorite memory of them? Walking along the train tracks by Lake Union back towards our sail boat, after picking up Chinese food. I was six years old and just loved spending that alone time with you. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Losing a loved one to suicide can leave you with so many unanswered questions and shame. It’s so important that we talk about it and connect with others who have experienced similar loss - nothing has been more healing or cathartic for me than this. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574218990062-BWD4VJW8I4B0CZRY9206/TDP-logomark.png Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Drew | Brooklyn, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Tim What was your relationship to them? Brother Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? When people tend to ask me, it's more about me and how I'm doing, and I feel the need to somehow figure out or explain. I'd rather them ask me about him: about his personality, the things he did, or even share memories as many people in my life knew him. Rather than talk about how I am, I like to relive memories of him. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Send me relevant poetry, excerpts from texts, other art, etc. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574121724035-5GMC0YGEN7S32NN6SLAK/Guinevere+Dorado.jpeg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Guinevere | Haslett, MI What's the name of the person you lost? Matthew David What was your relationship to them? Wife What is your favorite memory of them? The way he comforted me, “you can never disappoint me”. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? A friend told me that suicide is caused by something like a cancer of the emotions. Thinking of Matt dying from emotional cancer was comforting to me—it took away my guilt that I somehow didn’t do “enough” to stop it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574122570817-OQOV0Q2Y4XAUNK4PYRR0/Ashley+Anderson.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Ashley | Chicago, IL What's the name of the person you lost? Mary Lou What was their relationship to you? My mom What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss my mom's face. I would always look at her blue eyes and smooth skin and think how pretty she was. I miss watching her interact with my dad and being able to see how much they loved each other. I miss the way she would hold and rub my hand. I don't miss watching the mother I loved so much fade away because of depression and anxiety. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? My close friends traveled countless hours to be at the visitation and funeral, but the most impactful think was that they acted NORMAL around me. We laughed, drank wine, talked about my mom, talked about suicide, and it was so impactful to be able to be myself in those first few weeks. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574128260868-XU88ZJL4ZPJ4EU1J02DE/Theodore+Daley.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Theodore | New York, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Nadine Simone What was their relationship to you? Sister What is your favorite memory of them? Too many to pick one, I would say my favourite is when I was 8 years old, my sister (then 20) bought me a sweater for Christmas. I was so sad but she said to "open and let me see if it fits you", out falls the one videogame I was begging my parents to get me. I hate surprises but that was the only time I was ever happy to be surprised. It wasn't the gift so much as the fact she knew EXACTLY at every single moment in my life how to make me feel special. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? I would say perhaps the best thing would be to share with everyone that life is hard. But it doesn't mean it needs to be hard and on your own. Sharing a bit of the load is how we all get through the hard days and it's what we want to do during the good ones. Don't be a stranger. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574210826072-V9KW3ZH0WH7C5IUQI44R/Dorothy+Wigon.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Dorothy | San Francisco, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Olivia What was their relationship to you? Sister What is your favorite memory of them? Her laugh. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss her advice. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Tell me memories they had of my sister. Read more from Dorothy here. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574129003104-JIB10LQ4IZZJTJ5NC8GH/Kara+Lewis.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Kara | Jackson, MI What's the name of the person you lost? Jon What was your relationship to them? Jon is my brother. Both my brothers and I were adopted from different countries and at different ages. Jon came into our family as an older adoption, so we are the same age, but not blood related. He hated me at first, even cut me out of family pictures, but as we grew older, we became really close. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss having someone to call whenever anything goes wrong. He and I used to vent about anything and everything to each other. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? A friend sent me a letter about a month after his death. She told me that she waited so long because she knew from experience that that is when people stop checking in on you. She also knew that Jon had a rock collection and she made me a display case with a picture of him so I can display his rock collection. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574129404010-9HUP22NSAL6XNFW726G6/Betsy%2BKaplan.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Betsy | New York, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Joel What was their relationship to you? My father What is your favorite memory of them? My dad and I shared a special bond over music. Some of the greatest memories I have with him have been at Pearl Jam concerts. There was one time where I was very young and this couple was extremely drunk and smoking pot behind us. My dad had to ask them to stop blowing smoke at me and they laughed in his face. Thinking back on it now, it's one of the funniest concert memories I have with him. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people asked about him more. His interests, what kind of person he was, etc. He shouldn’t be this person we don’t speak of because of the stigma attached to the way he left. I miss him, and I want to talk about him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574130122859-JL2H9WBNJQN3RTO0Z29F/Julia+White.jpeg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Julia | Santa Clara, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Garrett What was your relationship to them? Former partner What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss Garrett's endless drive to understand and empathize with others. His graceful vulnerability and embodiment of mindfulness was contagious. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Someone who knows me really well (at the time a friend, now my current partner) told me to call them whenever, without sending a text beforehand. They knew me well enough to know that I need that clear directive—"Don't worry about texting beforehand. Just call." I could tell they genuinely meant that promise. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574130390625-DQU25PV99TFQA3BL3G20/Mary+Nelligan.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Mary | Hull, MA What's the name of the person you lost? Owen What was your relationship to them? Owen was my little brother What is your favorite memory of them? My favorite memory of Owen. My favorite memories are from high school and college when Owen was little. I was always so proud to have a little brother 12 years younger than me. I was his second mom and I bragged about it all the time. My mom would bring him to every game of mine and he would play and run around and cause endless entertainment for anyone who was not sufficiently entertained by a high school girls field hockey game. Every game I could look over and see him, so tiny still, with his red elmo hat running around on his tippy toes. And at the end of every game my mom would release him and let him run across the field which he’d been dying to do all game. He’d run right through the crowd of high school girls all wearing identical uniforms and find me, his big sister. He’d run full force at me and I’d scoop him up into the air and carry him triumphantly back across the field. I was never embarrassed of him. I loved him too much. Owen used to come to my room when he had bad dreams. At first he would stand at the top of the stairs and yell down to my mom. I would always wake up first and go out to rescue him. I would tuck him into my bed with me hug him till he fell asleep. Eventually he would just come to my room without calling for my mom. He would crawl into my bed and whisper, I had a bad dream scout, let me in! I never sent him away. I always let him in even when he was so big I eventually had to let him fall asleep in my bed and sneak into his room to sleep in his bed. My mom would come in in the morning to find her 19 year old daughter in her 7 year old’s bed and her 7 year old taking up her 19 year old daughter’s entire bed. I never minded though, I loved him too much. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574130557025-1L8VT5P9KOLF9EP4LLNX/Jamie+Hoffman.JPG Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Jamie | Brooklyn, NY What's the name of the person you lost? My dad Herb Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I like being asked the simplest of questions. I was at a party over the weekend talking about home repairs and someone asked if my dad was handy around the house. I like when others are curious about him because it frees up the sometimes burden of keeping his memory alive, the feeling that if I bring him up I’m bringing down a conversation. It’s nice to access a “normal” memory and have all the other stuff fall away for a moment. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? We need to find better ways to talk about suicide. I find it used flippantly in normal conversation all the time, as a dark turn of phrase. There’s also a lot of room to be more respectful of survivors of suicide’s experiences by providing more thoughtful trigger warnings for books, plays, or movies. Be protective and caring of anyone in your life who's a survivor of suicide. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574130816577-9R4BUOTXJO99F13SEALZ/Kimberly+Worthington.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Kimberly | Orcas Island, WA What's the name of the person you lost? Nerissa What was their relationship to you? Mother Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I still get nervous talking about her suicide, and I often feel the nerves from others when we talk about suicide -- but this is why I want to talk about it! There are things in life that might make us feel super uncomfortable, I'm ready to get over that. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Four years after my mom's death, I was celebrating mother's day with my partner's family. His mom raised her glass and said, "for all the mothers who are not here today." She did so without reserve, without question, just openness. I very much appreciated that gesture. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574131031787-WJRCV26PTTIGL97XWO1N/Jen+Miosi.jpeg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Jen | Cincinnati, OH What's the name of the person you lost? Joe What was your relationship to them? He was my Father What is your favorite memory of them? My family grew up boating and my dad would always be the "captain" and wear some ridiculously patterned "doo-rag" while on the boat. He would always burn so easily in the sun and wind. A staple for our boat trips was to listen to Jimmy Buffett while cruising around. My dad loved his music. We all did. So just imagine a middle aged man, slightly heavy after years of enjoying food and beer, sunburnt, wearing a "doo-rag", playing the air guitar and singing along to Jimmy Buffett while captaining his vessel. This. This is my fondest memory of my father growing up. Summer after summer. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Survivor guilt is a very real thing when it comes to suicides. You often wonder what could you have done better, what didn't you do enough of, how could you have seen the signs sooner, did you miss signs that were present at the time, could you have prevented it, maybe if you had spent more time that day with him would it have changed things...? The list goes on and on. You just have to try to understand the frame of mind he was in at the time in hopes that it gives you some semblance of acceptance and peace with what happened. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574131360615-30CBL70G8ANF4OHB85HR/Megan+Boedicker.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Megan | Denver, CO What's the name of the person you lost? Christopher What was your relationship to them? Best friend What do you miss (or not miss) about them? His laugh & his smile—he had this way of lighting up the entire room when he was just being his goofy & genuine self. It would rub off on other people. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Suggested I go see a grief counselor who specialized in survivors of suicide. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Chris was a beautiful and kind soul who would put everyone else ahead of himself. This one act does not change that. Suicide is not “selfish”—he was deeply struggling, and even to his last moments here on earth, he was still the kind, compassionate and empathetic person he had always been. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574209219434-8LW9Q0CO17O5WPS60I3F/Courtney+Dowell.jpeg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Courtney | Bellevue, WA What's the name of the person you lost? Mariah What was their relationship to you? My little sister What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I mostly miss all the things we were supposed to do, like this year she should have graduated college and gone on a van trip and started her YouTube channel and we were supposed to move closer to each other. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? My boyfriend’s mom gave me a book about suicide loss. My brain wiring was completely shot and the book helped me understand my feelings and my family in a more objective way. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574209679799-USM99MLUIJNPECHGYRIN/Julia+Vanderput.JPG Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Julia | Los Angeles, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Robert What was your relationship to them? He was my father What is your favorite memory of them? Sadly, I don’t have memories with my father as he passed when I was not yet two. Thankfully, he journaled and illustrated in notebooks that I have and I am lucky to glean some of his essence through his art. I also cherish a video of my first birthday in which he dances with me. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? There’s not a lot to miss because I don’t have memories of him, which makes my case unique since my loss is different than most people experience. In fact, if there’s one thing I’d hope people understand is that grief isn’t more or less painful if you don’t have memories of the person. Loss is loss. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574209967226-UU6RMV5RCCLP4Z8I6YBV/Victoria+Helmly.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Victoria | Marietta, GA What's the name of the person you lost? Boris What was your relationship to them? Significant other/partner Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people would ask me more about him as a partner and why I love him. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? My grief over Boris's death has changed over time, but it is still so present. Sometimes it still feels unbearable and like I need a "grief day" where I can just be sad and angry. But, the world keeps spinning and it feels like everyone assumes I am over it by now. That part is hard. Read more from Victoria here. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574211236281-854OF2VCDVEORVZSB561/Claire+Tinsley.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Claire | Washington, DC What's the name of the person you lost? Kathryn Elaine What was your relationship to them? Daughter What is your favorite memory of them? Any time I was reunited with her after a period of being apart. I still vividly remember coming down three flights of stairs from my class in my college's most historic building to find her waiting for me on the porch at the start of my freshman year's Family Weekend. Though it had only been about a month since I moved in, I already missed her desperately. I ran into her arms and we hugged as though it had been years since we parted. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I so desperately wish people would ask about who she was. What she meant to me. What my favorite memories were. Even about her suicide - it can be so difficult to keep it all bottled up when I can tell that people (especially those I've recently met) are trying not to push the subject. It's ok! You can push the subject, as long as you're genuinely interested. This is especially true if we're dating. I've struggled a lot with bringing my mom up at the "right" time and not seeming like I'm asking for sympathy. A lot of guys just won't probe any further, even if I tell them outright that I love talking about her. To paraphrase the Spice Girls: if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get comfortable with hearing about my dead mom. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574211766687-V0Z663Z0Y04JT7H0C8TV/Elizabeth+Colucci.JPG Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Elizabeth | Harleysville, PA What's the name of the person you lost? Dean What was their relationship to you? Father What is your favorite memory of them? Singing landslide from fleetwood mac with him while he played the guitar. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Allow me to talk about my shame with how he died and work on accepting that my father was the type of man that did things on his terms. He left this world his way and that it's ok to miss him and it is ok to not be angry with him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574212239331-DQ4BV8E0W4IPE3Y4W3OV/Vanessa+Joho.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Vanessa | San Francisco, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Ursula What was your relationship to them? Sister What is your favorite memory of them? It's hard to say what my favorite memory was. We experienced too many things together. And since my sister was bipolar every positive experience tended to come with a negative as well. One of example was spending the Olympics 2016 - Rio with her. We fought a lot but also had some beautiful moments together. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Finding friends that were willing to listen to me talk about everything I was thinking and feeling really helped me piece my life back together. I lost a lot of friends at the time who I realized I had a superficial relationship with. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574212748208-JIH2B8R3ZV8RG076B7HE/Megan+Murray_sister.PNG Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Megan | Los Angeles, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Kathleen What was your relationship to them? Sister What is your favorite memory of them? Too many memories!! When we were in middle school Kat was obsessed with Natalie Merchant. We went to Lilith Fair, she wrote her a letter and I finagled our way down to the stage and threw the flowers and her letter on stage. Natalie read her letter out loud!! Kat was so happy :) What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Showed up, listened, didn’t ignore me because they didn’t know what to say. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574212919505-3LRTXVZWIGTBLIEC8B9G/Megan+Murray_mother.PNG Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Megan | Los Angeles, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Susan What was your relationship to them? Daughter Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people would erase the word “still” when speaking of grief. I’ve heard “oh you’re STILL upset about that?” way more times than I should have. Grief is a life long journey especially when the losses are so close together as in my case. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Losing my mother to suicide has been very different than losing my sister to suicide even though I lost them in the exact same way- almost exactly 3 years apart. This month will be a year since my mother’s suicide and I’m still working through it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574213366352-P8OFQG97G3LZEQA41Y1K/Sarah+Fournier.png Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 SJ | San Francisco, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Joz What was their relationship to you? My best friend What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss talking with them about the Universe. I don't miss seeing them in pain. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people would ask what I'm doing in my day to day to keep Joz alive. My mother did once and it changed everything. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? My partner and my chosen family continue to help me search for Joz in my life everyday and without that I don't know if I would be ok. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574213674359-D2P4T01D85YEQ4UBBLO7/Annie+Wilcox.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Annie | Providence, RI What's the name of the person you lost? Philip What was their relationship to you? My brother What is your favorite memory of them? I was 10 years old when my brother died. He was much older than me and lived across the country, so I have very few memories of him. I often cannot tell if my memories of him are my own, or if they are stories or photographs that others shared with me. My last known memory of my brother was the last time I saw him. He was recently married and was visiting us with his new wife. We were sitting outside on our porch on a beautiful, starry summer night. We have had so many family parties in that exact spot. We grew up in a rural part of the Northeast and on a clear night, you could see the Milky Way. My brother loved the stars so much it is impossible for me to look at the night sky without thinking about him. On this night, he was showing me how to catch fireflies in a jar. The memory is so brief, but so beautiful and so peaceful. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? I have many examples of people trying to help that were unintentionally damaging. As a child, I think everyone wanted to shield me from the pain and confusion of my brother’s death. But by shielding me, I was not able to grieve or to feel the depth and range of emotions that come with the death of a sibling. Loss during childhood is a different beast. It was not until adulthood that I allowed myself to process his death. I think it is helpful not to assume how someone grieved a death or that they have finished grieving no matter how much time has passed. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574214138071-3N83SUUGQH8F14T7QQCO/Jonelle+Lesniak.JPG Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Jonelle | Washington, DC What's the name of the person you lost? John What was their relationship to you? My dad What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss my dad's laugh and his voice. He had a full laugh that showed how much he was feeling joy in the moment. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? I have a few friends who regularly ask me, "How's dad?" I love that they do this because the question acknowledges the space he had and still has in my life, and gives me space to take the conversation to where I want to, or to whatever is on my mind about him, whether happy or sad or new things I'm processing. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574214591185-J5PB64PYCC9M05GLYHJO/Abby+Tatarian.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Abby | New England, USA What's the name of the person you lost? Aaron What was your relationship to them? Partner What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss Aaron’s patience, understanding, shiny laughter and way of making me light up and laugh. I miss his way of making me feel present. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish more people would ask me what Aaron was like. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Once Aaron's family-friend gave me a metal cube as a metaphor for my connection to Aaron. She wrote, “the cube symbolizes permanence and stability.” That meant a lot to me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574214803962-DEFF7B1YZKJHV3SRF0AL/Vanessa+Borotz.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Vanessa | Lansing, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Charlene What was your relationship to them? She was my mother What is your favorite memory of them? It is hard to pinpoint a single one, but my favorite memories of my mom include laughter. My mom had a way of making the most ordinary things so much fun for everyone. I happen to have a photo that captures my mother’s infectious enthusiasm embodied in her hula-hooping at the farmer’s market when my parents visited me just a little over a year before she died. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people would keep asking me about her. It has now been three years since she has died and I think for a lot of people that feels like a long time ago. Sure my experience of grief is different now than it was then. While the pain may be less raw, it is in some ways more ubiquitous. Because now with every holiday, anniversary, or life event, there are fresh reminders of loss. There are still days where it feels like it might as well have happened yesterday. I think people don’t want to bring her up because it may upset me but talking about her actually does the opposite. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574215364608-RV9BUOS5TXUCCJKY87EM/JD%2B2.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Jade | Philadelphia, PA What's the name of the person you lost? Evangeline What was your relationship to them? Sister What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Came over or dropped something off without asking me what I need first. I usually have no idea what I need or what to ask for. The most helpful friends are the ones who just say "I'm bringing you food" or "I'm picking you up". When someone says "let me know if you need anything", this transfers the burden of reaching out and also figuring out what I need back onto me. Processing my trauma takes all the emotional bandwidth I've got at the moment. Anything that relieves me of thinking and planning help the most. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Sharing resources has been helpful. I'm reading the book "Bearing the Unbearable" and listening to Life After Suicide podcast. Gives me something to focus on and reach for when I feel lost and hopeless. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574215752216-VRX01SFHG0GEBXUTELSE/Laura+Hirst.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Laura | United Kingdom What's the name of the person you lost? Stuart, Catherine What was your relationship to them? Father, Mother What do you miss (or not miss) about them? Their presence, love, care, phone calls. Their hugs. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Suicide loss is hell. People naturally don't know what to do or say but please know that something is better than nothing; in that void the suicide risk of those left behind can grow, their mental health affected. Those bereaved by suicide need the utmost kindness, compassion and love in action. Reach out and continue reaching out even if you don't hear anything. We may not have the energy or emotional resources to actively ask for help but we desperately need to be taken care of, our guilt tended to and assuaged, our flailing, confused, shocked minds soothed. There needs to be so much more awareness and education amongst the general public but also healthcare professionals on how to support and work with suicide loss survivors. We are an at risk group. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574216246323-WPGFT0EVQKCD0C50CPPE/Neely+Lawson.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Neely | Nashville, TN What's the name of the person you lost? Melena What was your relationship to them? Best friend of 20+ years (so really a sister) What is your favorite memory of them? All of them. But the moment she had her son and I walked into the room immediately after she finished labor and she just reached out to me like I was the only one in the room. That was a special moment for us. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss everything. So much it hurts. But I miss our late night laughing fits, boy talk, inside jokes that only she knew, and the non stop texting that we carried on for well over a decade. I miss traveling with her (she was the best travel buddy) and being absolutely ridiculous together when we were out in public just to try to embarrass one another. I miss her hugs and lounging on the couch on rainy days watching friends. Read more from Neely here. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574216565683-SN9QR66JRFHKDPSVGQXF/Samantha+Gordon.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Samantha | Los Angeles, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Randy What was their relationship to you? My dad What do you miss (or not miss) about them? Everything. I miss the sound of his voice, his laugh, his sense of humor, his ability to light up a room. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? His birthday & death anniversary are the same day, so every year I do something to celebrate him and focus on his birthday. Like drink his favorite beer or eat something he loved. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574216883234-J8P6ABMMSEKL166EH3BZ/Elizabeth+Laudadio.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Elizabeth | Madison, WI What's the name of the person you lost? Kathryn What was your relationship to them? Sister What is your favorite memory of them? We were inseparable when I was 15, spending the summer after my sophomore year of high school riding around in her car and blasting Red Hot Chili Peppers. We used to go for walks at night, and walked through my old elementary school playground as the soccer field was being watered by sprinklers. We ran through the sprinklers laughing and smiling for what felt like hours. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people would ask me anything about her. People shut down so quickly when they find out she's dead and how she died. I know they're trying to prevent saying anything that makes it worse, but saying nothing makes it worse. I want people to want to know about her, she is such a huge part of who I am. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574217256636-OBU3SS3O8II8EKLEVBSO/Corey+Clark.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Corey | Chicago, IL What's the name of the person you lost? Sharon What was your relationship to them? They were my mom What do you miss (or not miss) about them? Miss having daily conversations What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? I buy flowers to remind myself of my mom. I keep fresh seasonal flowers in my home to remind me of her. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574217608084-3XBDBJAS8EDG6RUO2CNK/Sophia+Laurenzi.JPG Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Sophia | Nashville, TN What's the name of the person you lost? Paul What was your relationship to them? Daughter What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I can't put into words all that I miss, but I especially miss the overall feeling that I still can connect to whenever I think of my dad--a feeling of being totally, unconditionally loved and understood. My dad's family is Italian-American, and we used to describe our relationship as "simpatico," which really meant we just clicked and got each other. I spent many car rides, walks, and lazy afternoons calling my dad where we would end up talking for hours. He always asked the right, and sometimes the hard, questions. He was able to strike an amazing balance of being incredibly warm and making you feel comfortable while also being very frank and engaging in vulnerability. I knew that we could disagree, I could make mistakes, and I could speak very openly without his love and support ever wavering. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people would not tell me how lucky I am that I had such a close relationship with him or all the time that I did have with him when I say how much I miss him or express that I'm struggling. In those moments, I don't want to be focusing on the good and feeling gratitude, I want to just feel and share how much it hurts. Especially with a suicide loss, it's also a reminder that there will always be a part of me hurt by the fact that he "chose" to leave me, no matter how much rational understanding of mental illness and trauma I have. I don't think people realize that comments like that can come across as a reminder that yes, we did have a wonderful relationship and it still wasn't enough to make him want to stay alive. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574217883552-S9V8V7ODJS8MKXDYI8YI/Kimberly+Hetherington.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Kimberly | Australia What's the name of the person you lost? Elizabeth What was your relationship to them? Sister What is your favorite memory of them? Wow, I have so many! She was always on the lookout for me, the typical protective big sister. As little babies she carefully cleaned the wheels of my stroller and plucked flowers for me to examine. As teenagers, it was not 'cool' to hang out but if anyone tried to bully me she would deal with the situation and I'd get a very heartfelt apology after. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? Ask me about what she was like, what was her name? Don't ask me how exactly she killed herself, if I believe everything happens for a reason, involve any sort of religious affiliation. Most people are too uncomfortable to get anywhere though, the conversation is just a standstill. Read more from Kimberly here. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574218300613-HLCFRMR07441XV7XL77J/Melissa+Cotton.JPG Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Melissa | Newmarket, NH What's the name of the person you lost? Mike What was your relationship to them? His daughter Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people still checked in with how I am doing. My dad died a little over a year ago and I still struggle. I have noticed that people who have not experienced significant loss expect you to be okay after the first year. This is not the case. Grief isn’t something you get over or move past, it’s a new way of living. A new normal. It becomes a part of you. There are days where it hits me and it feels just as raw as it did a year ago. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? After the first day and all our family was notified, my mom privately messaged all my friends what was going on. I spent the week at my mom’s and the door barely stayed closed. There was a revolving door of people that stopped by to check on me, bring over food, and even made me laugh when I thought that was impossible. I have never felt more loved and appreciated than I did that first week. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574218570468-34FSHTL3DZXPH2O0K6QL/Madison+Sullivan.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Madison | Chicago, IL What's the name of the person you lost? Kathy What was your relationship to them? She's my mom What is your favorite memory of them? My mom was the most devoted Harry Potter fan I have ever met. She and I snuck off from a family vacation in FL and drove to Orlando to go to Harry Potter World. We walked across the park and I realized she wasn't behind me. She had stopped a few feet from the gate and was just staring up at the Hogsmead sign, crying. It was pure joy. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? She often told me, "I waited my whole life for you." I can still hear her say it. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? About a month after I lost her, my friend (who has also lost her mother) left a gift bag on my apartment door. It was the perfume my mom used to wear when I was a kid. I had mentioned it before she'd passed and how I couldn't find it. I wear it whenever I need a little extra reminder she is with me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574275032996-DXUZLRZ6Q4OFU26BV8YW/sabina.jpg Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Sabrina | Brooklyn, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Phil What was their relationship to you? Father What is your favorite memory of them? Walking along the train tracks by Lake Union back towards our sail boat, after picking up Chinese food. I was six years old and just loved spending that alone time with you. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Losing a loved one to suicide can leave you with so many unanswered questions and shame. It’s so important that we talk about it and connect with others who have experienced similar loss - nothing has been more healing or cathartic for me than this. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1574218990062-BWD4VJW8I4B0CZRY9206/TDP-logomark.png Before They Died, They Lived: International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day 2019 Drew | Brooklyn, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Tim What was your relationship to them? Brother Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? When people tend to ask me, it's more about me and how I'm doing, and I feel the need to somehow figure out or explain. I'd rather them ask me about him: about his personality, the things he did, or even share memories as many people in my life knew him. Rather than talk about how I am, I like to relive memories of him. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Send me relevant poetry, excerpts from texts, other art, etc. https://www.thedinnerparty.org/siblings-day-2020 daily 0.75 2025-08-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586310527466-ZAA4V3GTKIQ9PJMLEJBJ/Kelly%2BTaveras.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Kelly | Tucson, AZ What's the name of the person you lost? Ramon What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss his humor. He had a way of making me laugh and he had a great smile. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? My moms having a special birthday dinner for him each year has been helpful and also celebrating his angel anniversary together too, which unfortunately is only a month after his birthday. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586219630306-LJEQ3FNYF5A1TOGX9A3H/Nicole+Reddick.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Nicole | Chicago, IL What's the name of the person you lost? Robyn What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss Robyn's infectious energy. She could walk into a room and fill it with laughter and love. You could always feel her love when she spoke to you and she knew all of my brother and sisters' secrets because she always listened. I miss that free-spirit who was always ready to take on anything no matter what. What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? Showed up. I came home to Chicago after being with my family in Ohio and I was alone. Friends who just showed up for me and checked in with me kept me going. Grief is hard and you can't think straight. You don't want to ask for help, you just need someone to give it. Sometimes that means just showing up. Maybe you bring dinner, maybe you bring dessert, maybe you just bring yourself to sit and grieve with me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586305304861-0FCKU7Q978VIT82VJLCD/Dayna+Wilson.JPG Siblings Day 2020 Dayna | London, England What's the name of the person you lost? Shevon What is your favorite memory of them? Maybe around a year before he died, he was wrestling with my nephew who at the time was only around 4 years old - they adored each other, the laughter and pure joy filled the room. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss his dimples. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I've made a lot of new friends over the past year, I wish they were interested in who he was as a person. Through fear of upsetting me no one asks me any questions about him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586220924805-3U6W6DGVY7WPQ7BX1OWN/Caitlin+Stewart.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Caitlin | Brooklyn What's the name of the person you lost? Andrew What is your favorite memory of them? I remember playing with him and my older brother often when we were younger. We made an elaborate, multiple-room fort using the cabinets and tables and chairs in our basement, covered with blankets. We called it our haunted house and we dressed up like witches and ghosts and werewolves. We pretended to brew potions and cackle and howl at the moon together. I also loved racing our little tricycles around on the back porch. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? It's so hard when strangers, acquaintances, or new friends ask me questions like, "do you have any siblings?" or "do you have any brothers or sisters?" I never know how to answer. If I say, I have one brother, I feel like I am lying and erasing Andrew's existence. I HATE doing that. If I tell them I used to have two brothers, the conversation suddenly takes a sad turn and I worry about making them and myself uncomfortable. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586386364626-I5FYZHEN7M92O7UOA83S/Zenobia+Smith.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Zenobia | Brighton, MA What's the name of the person you lost? Maleek What is your favorite memory of them? When he sat my family around the dinner table to tell us about his favorite day ever. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss the way he would answer the phone. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586309669636-V3ZJ4KMPINI2TTC2GJA7/Hayden+Withers.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Hayden | Brooklyn, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Nicola (Nikki) Hedley (Noxious) What is a favorite memory you have of them? I think one of my favorite memories of her is during my childhood. She had taken me to the park and I feel off the see-saw. She made me feel so supported after falling off that I didn't even cry. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? How is your grief today? Talk about her. Ask me about her. Remember that my pain and damage is something that you can't see but it is still there. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586371139559-NAAQR0A1OZIVKQGYTE80/TDP-logomark.png Siblings Day 2020 Chelsea | Massachusetts What's the name of the person you lost? Camden What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I do not miss being concerned about the choices he would make (protective older sister instinct). I miss his infectious laughter and our shared sense of humor. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? From day one, I wished people would ask me how I was doing. I have been forced to deal with others' discomfort of someone in deep pain and their inability to process unnatural death. Today, 9 months later, my wish is the same: I wish people would ask me how I am doing or want to know what my brother was like. I know some people do not want to be asked about their loss, but I have advocated for this in my circles and still do not feel that my ongoing pain is acknowledged in this way. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586220104761-7COMDD2V36L7IQJ0QUOV/Josie%2BSoriano.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Josie | Los Angeles, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Wilma What was their relationship to you? Wilma was my big sister - I always looked up to her and she always took care of me. What is a favorite memory you have of them? My sister taught me how to read and we used to always read together, quietly and in the same room. As we grew older, we constantly sent each other books we finished or ordered two of the same book, and talked about them. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? On any birthday, special occasion, life changes, or even personal successes/failures I wish people would acknowledge how hard it is for me that she's missing out on them. She was my biggest supporter throughout my entire life. She helped raise me and was my closest person and I don't know how to explain what a big hole is left in my life now that she's gone to people who don't have the same relationship. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586307315946-XPUM021P6C5AY8CR3TXD/Diane%252BRoznowski.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Diane | Washington, DC What's the name of the person you lost? Emily What is a favorite memory you have of them? We spent summer vacations at Eagles Mere Lake in Pennsylvania and always built the best sandcastles together. I also really loved watching Emily become a mother and the love she so clearly had for her daughter. What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? Two friends drove two hours to be with me despite having to work and study for finals. One of those friends came back every weekend for the first three weeks. I honestly don’t know how I would have survived without them. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586306045443-RXG9IS5SB7GRQHG3WCM3/Emily+McMordie.jpeg Siblings Day 2020 Emily | Philadelphia, PA What's the name of the person you lost? John What is your favorite memory of them? Almost one year before John died, he, my sister and I took a weeklong road trip from San Francisco to Seattle after his college graduation. That was the first and only time we spent that much time together, just the three of us, and it forged our sibling bond even deeper than it was before. The first night we stayed on a mini horse farm in the middle-of-nowhere-California and went on a late night walk. The sky was so unadulterated that you could see every single star. John and I convinced my sister to lay down in the middle of a road with us to stargaze. We belly laughed and soaked in the beauty above us. It’s a simple memory, but it’s such a fond one. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? John loved to go deep - he would ask you personal questions, existential questions, ask you to share your opinions on controversial topics, your beliefs, your memories, your fears, your life goals. He didn’t just ask these questions because he liked to talk, but rather because he wanted to listen and learn. It was inspired by his highly inquisitive nature. He wanted to know what mattered to you so that he could broaden his perspective of the world, and so that he could respect and love each person in his life for their individuality. I haven’t yet found this quality in any other person. It was incredibly unique and special and refreshing - I miss that about having John in this world. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586371161454-574FE938QQ8K3WPUAGWE/Corinne+Shea.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Corinne | Amherst, NH What's the name of the person you lost? Brendan What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss seeing Brendan in the role of father most -- he was an incredible parent. Seeing our sons grow up is such a gift but they are also a clear demonstration of the passage of time since his death. I also miss my brother at our extended family's gatherings -- I see my aunts and uncles who remain close as they have aged and it quickly sinks in that my brother and I will miss out on all those conversations -- recalling our experiences growing up together, with our parents, our childhood friends, and our own children as they grow. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? An amazing group of friends showed up to support me on the day of his memorial, having driven/flown into Boston from across the country. That demonstration of love on the hardest day of my life is something I can't ever repay. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586306183257-NN1DA10YPUERLBFN7K56/Eve+Bromberg.jpeg Siblings Day 2020 Eve | Brooklyn, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Maxx What is your favorite memory of them? Going to the movies with them and looking over at them during the movie and seeing them marvel at the screen. They were also my spell check. I used to text them asking how to spell something (spelled incorrectly), and they'd respond with the proper spelling. They always knew what I was trying to write. Another memory is that on my birthday of this year (November 8th), even though their memory was all but gone, I woke them up that morning and when they asked what day it was they instantly opened their eyes looked at me and wished me a happy birthday. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586309876317-UN2XJJXWPDHH42NIWDDT/Jade+Langevin.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Jade | Biddeford, ME What's the name of the person you lost? Michael What is your favorite memory of them? Every memory is cherished, but I really miss his smile, and the way we’d bicker over the bathroom in the morning! What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? People who just listened and let me cry. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586371344345-03BYY1WMADUQ1R5XNEA4/TDP-logomark.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Jesse | Brooklyn, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Jordan What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss his warm hugs, impeccable music taste, and high pitched laugh. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish more people would ask me questions in general. He was a huge part of my life, and still is. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586309985757-S60SIDTHQ6LOVJ7QCVA7/Jakob+Rosenberg.JPG Siblings Day 2020 Jakob | Bonn, Germany What's the name of the person you lost? Sophie What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? Having people continue to check in on me months after the fact, send letters or notes just letting me know they're thinking of me, or asking to see or learn more about them. There's such a wave and outpour of support in the first month after mom and sister died and then slowly but surely, people forget or don't bring them up. Maybe it's out of fear of discomfort or forgetting that it's still such a big part of my life but I don't want to forget and I don't want to move on and I still want to remember them with others and share my memories of them with others. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? I just wish I could see her again, hear her, talk to her, hug her, and have my baby sister back in my life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586390316400-HNIEOM6PN8GOY2FWWITO/Connor+Needham.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Conner | Los Angeles, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Kelly What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss his positive energy and laugh. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? It's hard for me to say. Sometimes I love talking about him, sometimes I would rather not bring it up. I can't fault someone for not knowing what to ask because I don't even know what I want to be asked. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586310251840-0ED1552UHEI20GBOCQXB/Jessica+Grey.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Jessica | Durham, NC What's the name of the person you lost? Missy What is your favorite memory of them? One summer day, Missy and I were playing around in the backyard while the grown-ups were working out front. The stairs out back were freshly built and the wood planks were a little sharp. I slipped while dashing down the stairs and cut my Achilles heel. The wound was pretty deep and it wouldn't stop bleeding. I told Missy that I didn't want Mom to find out because she was already really stressed out, so she ran into our parents' bathroom and found gauze and band-aids and helped me doctor the cut. As far as I know, Mom never found out. I still have a scar from the incident and I think about Missy every time I see it. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss her honesty. She was blunt but not without empathy. She just didn't have patience for anyone's bullsh*t. I've always admired that about her. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586372583639-MYMPPEUMSL13P9KS7N3W/Allison+Schroeder.JPG Siblings Day 2020 Allison | Brooklyn, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Erica Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? "How are you doing?" It's been almost 13 years (to the day on April 4th), and it feels like people have started to forget when really the loss still often feels so present to me. What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? My best friend, Emma, dedicated her life to helping others. She went on to be a palliative care social worker with families and children who have chronic and terminal illnesses. She spends every day doing work in honor of Erica. She has walked alongside me for the last 13 years and is always the first person to know what I need and when I need it. She simply was there and that's the best thing anyone can do. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586389954806-E4T4ZS4I09ZCVQ81NSSG/Casey+Sanders.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Casey | Chicago, IL What's the name of the person you lost? John Robert (J.R.) What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss a lot of things about him: saying his name (something I never thought of having to grieve). Our spontaneous tap-dancing sessions in the kitchen. The way he could bring fun, laughter, and joy into a room. Watching him love his son and fiancée. But really, I miss watching his story unfold--he was 20 when he died and there is so much that I want to know. It feels like I was in the middle of reading this story that I loved only to turn a page in the middle and realize that the author abruptly stopped writing--and now I'm left with this constant, nagging feeling of wondering how it was supposed to end. What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? On the day of the visitation, I was talking to some of my friends when I mentioned with a laugh (in attempt to lighten the mood) that the heel on my shoe had broken. Immediately, one of my guy friends asked me what size shoe I wore. I told him and he promptly left. A little while later, he returned with a new (cute) pair of heels and a dress, a black one with polka dots, which he got to replace the one I was going to wear to the funeral. He saw a need and filled it, and his actions spoke volumes more than words ever could. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586310614418-HDBZS3R1MIFYP8TMB0IV/Lucas+Becker.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Lucas | New York, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Carl What do you miss (or not miss) about them? Their complete acceptance of me Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? Ask me about the good times instead of "what happened?" https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586310724206-SGYNEZADSQSAIKZXNT0O/Maya+Kosok.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Maya | Baltimore, MD What's the name of the person you lost? Ariana What is your favorite memory of them? Driving home from a family dinner as teenagers and rocking out SO HARD to silly pop music that we got looks from all the other cars around us. Also, taking her and her friends out to a club (that was totally not my scene) for her 18th birthday and playing chauffeur. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Most people avoided the subject completely, but I found it really helpful when a couple friends asked how I was doing and asked about my sister - they weren't afraid to bring it up, which is good because it was constantly on my mind. It's not like anyone was going to suddenly remind me that my 18-year-old sister had just died suddenly. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586221121581-KGOMD1T61R5UM1P3KV61/Betsy%2BKaplan.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Sophie | Washington D.C. What's the name of the person you lost? Olivia What do you miss (or not miss) about them? All the inside jokes, stories and experiences only the two of us shared and could laugh about. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people would ask to hear more stories about her! What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? Not be afraid to talk about positive memories with me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586386666889-8HJG64X36KV9ML7OFGMR/Tatiana%2BToro.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Tatiana | Washington, D.C. What's the name of the person you lost? Adriana (“Adri”) What is your favorite memory of them? It’s hard to pick a single best memory of my sister but I often find myself missing the small, mundane things the most. Driving in her car—that she so often dinged and scratched, she would duck tape her front bumper frequently, laughing the whole time—with Tame Impala or the Black Keys or Led Zeppelin blasting, singing along to every word. This is as free as I’ve ever felt. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? Sometimes all we need is someone to look us in the eyes and be there, in the moment, accepting our grief and seeing us for everything we still are outside of that pain. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586372210217-BFEO2RBENZF5VM5LH70R/Margaret+Owusu.jpeg Siblings Day 2020 Mimi | Ann Arbor, MI What's the name of the person you lost? Patricia (Trisha) What is a favorite memory you have of them? On New Year’s Eve, almost a week before Trisha passed, she and I lied to our parents and told them we were going to her friend’s party in Ann Arbor. Little did they know, we hopped on Megabus to go party with our older sister, Rose, in Chicago. Despite the hour time difference, we called our parents right at midnight, so that we wouldn’t blow our cover! The party was lackluster but we had such a good time! Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Grief is not hierarchical. While it shouldn’t be, my experience has revealed the ways that sibling grief sometimes gets overlooked. People often focus on the grief that children, parents, and partners/spouses feel when a loved one dies. The bond between siblings is so beautiful. Our siblings are often our first friends (sometimes enemies), mentors, etc. Trisha taught me to love deeply, intentionally, and abundantly. It is this love that gives me hope in times when my grief overwhelms me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586372262236-LFU2GXNVVNOC9UC5DBH8/Jillian+O%27Brien.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Jillian | Laurel, MD What's the name of the person you lost? Kevin Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? I enjoy doing things to remember and honor my brother. I still want his name to be said and his passions to be recognized. He was such a loving person. I wish I had more pictures and recordings of him. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? Ask me anything about him. My favorite memory. What he liked. Where he lived. About his pets. About our childhood. I just want to remember it all, and it fades if I don’t recall it all. That is the hardest part- losing my memories of him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586310341425-THWUL0633JZJ8A6581V7/Kate+Tafelski.JPG Siblings Day 2020 Kate | Baltimore, MD What's the name of the person you lost? Elizabeth What is your favorite memory of them? Elizabeth couldn't read or write, but she loved to text and snap chat. It started when we both got Razor phones for Christmas in the mid-2000s. As technology progressed and she got an iphone with Siri her text messages evolved from bunches of letters to clusters of words to full sentences with lots of emojis. Receiving a text from Elizabeth was always the best part of my day, it meant she was thinking of me and I could feel her love. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Messages sending love and support meant a lot to me. Something more than a comment on a facebook or instagram post. A real message sharing a memory of her or just sending a virtual hug. Elizabeth had a special impact during her time here, and hearing those stories always makes me smile. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586389229895-P8UD8C4U5VHCQWE5D9QV/Andrea+L_Heureux.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Andrea | Sacramento, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Richard What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? Although food was so appreciated (and devoured), one thing that stands out most is a cousin who brought face masks and little beauty products over when she visited. I loved that I didn't have to use them right away, and that when I was in the mood to pamper myself again they were there. In the weeks following his death, it was a reminder to nurture myself. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Richard was the most authentic, curious, and generous guy! He made those that knew him better, just by being himself. His life and his loss continues to color every thing I do, and shape me into the person I am. Being his oldest sister will forever be the privilege of my life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586393263135-GWFOAC5ME5AHRIV55VTZ/Molly%252BPotel.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Molly | New York, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Matt What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss him making me laugh like no one else can. I miss him taking me under his wing, and prioritizing me over his friends. I felt incredibly validated by him, not like I was just his kid sister. I miss how he made me feel, really. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? An old teacher I was never particularly close to visited my home and shared that he had lost his sibling in an accident when he was young as well, and if I ever wanted to talk to him, to just reach out. I never did reach out, but I never forgot how kind that was. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586385999717-TLZ0O9VHE3BLR4W86POA/Taylor+Drake.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Taylor | Tucson, AZ What's the name of the person you lost? Justin What is your favorite memory of them? Simply laughing with him. Justin could be so silly and had a contagious laugh that you couldn't help being affected by. The way he would poke fun at all of us would have our family crying with laughter. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss just having a big brother. I miss that person who is supposed to be a role model or the person who is supposed to give me advice. I miss having someone to call who I can talk about things with who would understand my perspective as a child. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586385693617-72XD9OSXIOEYUAG31OL4/Olivia+Wilson.jpeg Siblings Day 2020 Olivia | Austin, TX What's the name of the person you lost? Kellon What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss having someone that truly understands what our childhood was like. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? When I came back to where I was living after spending a few weeks with my parents, a group of my friends had cleaned my room and left me a small care package in my room. I was so nervous to return and that made such a difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586386495083-89RZ5UVKIV0AHZZ1R0EO/Hayley+Boyle.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Hayley | Philadelphia, PA What's the name of the person you lost? Brendan What is your favorite memory of them? One of the best memories I have of Brendan is when he surprised me by showing up to my Sweet 16. He had been in rehab and wasn't really allowed out, but got special permission to come to my Sweet 16 party (we had it at my town community center). I remember literally having to catch my breath when I turned around and saw him walking in the door. I remember being so surprised and happy to see him--my big brother, standing there in an olive green button down shirt and tie with a Build-a-Bear gift for me. I cried literal pure tears of joy seeing him, knowing that he worked hard to be there for me, knowing that he loved me that much to surprise me. I'll never forget hugging him that night, holding him and telling him how happy I was to see him. I remember dancing with him afterwards, and just thinking about how nice it was to feel like our relationship was normal--that for those moments, he wasn't a drug addict or a criminal, that he was just my big brother, dancing with me at my Sweet 16. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? It makes me sad to say, but I don't miss the disappointment... there were always feelings of disappointment with Brendan because of his addiction issues. I think the hardest thing of all was that he knew he was disappointing us--and often times hurting us--but couldn't stop. Addiction makes you ill. It takes over. And it makes me sad that Brendan disappointed us, but even more sad that he disappointed himself time and again. That he couldn't seem to keep his promises. I definitely don't miss the feelings of disappointment, even though I do miss him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586385395137-CPTQAETJ37OALNE7QVJD/Michelle%2BCenteno.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Michelle | Rialto, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Josh What is your favorite memory of them? Dodger Games. My brother was my partner in sports. We never missed a beat once baseball season started. No matter what was happening in our lives, baseball always connected us. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Sibling loss is rough. I shared my entire childhood and young adulthood into mature adults with my brother. And one thing people don’t understand is that when one loses a siblings, a part of that is gone. I wish people would acknowledge siblings more. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586370816777-P2YJAS1NGRQTJJYTVZ9T/Nikki%2BMingola.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Nikki | Fort Collins, CO What's the name of the person you lost? Robby What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss his voice more than anything. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people wouldn't ask me how many siblings I have. I don't know how to answer that. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? I enjoy doing things to remember and honor my brother. I still want his name to be said and his passions to be recognized. He was such a loving person. I wish I had more pictures and recordings of him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586390190402-X029OME2ONTXM4W1YJYG/Charlotte+Lasek.JPG Siblings Day 2020 Charlotte | Chicago, IL What's the name of the person you lost? Chris What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss the brother that was gentle and kind hearted. I don't miss watching him suffer with mental illness and substance abuse. What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? So many people did so much that it's hard to come up with one instance, but the night of his funeral we had a huge party and one interaction I will always remember, and appreciate, was a heart-to-heart I had with two people. My brother died of suicide and struggled for many years with substance abuse and mental illness. Most people, not surprisingly, didn't bring that up in the days following his death, probably because they thought it'd be too painful to discuss. However, I found that having an honest conversation about the complexity of grief helped me more than the typical words of comfort spoken after a person dies. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586385849570-EF46FTGBG3EYLWE1WZ3P/Sarah+Evangelista.JPG Siblings Day 2020 Sarah | Whitehouse Station, NJ What's the name of the person you lost? Christopher What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss his infectious smile, sense of humor, and caring about those around him. Sadly those were lost to his addiction long before his life. I don't miss the sleepless nights - waiting for the call to come that let me know something had gone wrong. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? One of our closest friends flew to Florida, where Christopher had been living, and cleaned out his apartment and took care of everything so that my mother and I did not have to. One of my closest girlfriends drove 3+ hours to just to sit in the church for me at the funeral. Another dropped spaghetti and meatballs on my doorstep when I returned home just so she knew I would be fed. My grandmother's lifelong friend had her daughter drive her 3+ hours just so she could sit with my grandmother in the afternoon. Kindnesses, big and small. It's what makes it just a bit easier to get up in the morning. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586388397210-GLJ5PQH8K1KRX820BAHP/Tomi%2BKennedy.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Tomi | Eaton, CO What's the name of the person you lost? Toby What is your favorite memory of them? Riding dirt bikes on a trail but under the bridge he lost the seat to his dirt bike and he could barely reach the ground on it anyways, but when he lost his seat, he goes “look I can reach now.” It wasn’t the fact that he lost his seat or could reach, he made the best out of any scenario and always cherished every moment. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss everything. His laughter, making unforgettable memories, and how he could brighten up your day in the matter of a second, not matter how bad of a day you were having. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586388607633-DU6HW1BECVKY1OLTB4EW/Tiarra%2BKennedy.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Tiarra | Eaton, CO What's the name of the person you lost? Toby What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss him being there for every event, and just being by my side in general. My brother was the one I always looked up to.. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Just being there for me and my family. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586220419810-FBUVGK4X8JYT2N5YFQSU/Sara+Schaller.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Sara | Ypsilanti, MI What's the name of the person you lost? Matthew What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss his intelligence. His astute understanding of culture. He was compassionate and looked out for me. I miss his silliness. I miss his desire for a better life. I miss the chance to have a relationship with him. What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? I was 20 and an assistant manager at a Quiznos. The day his body was found, they closed the store down so I could have the day to take it all in. After we reopened I had developed such a rapport with the customers, I had so many cards and flowers. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586388848325-ZM7SRVK149V41SBJZOC7/Amber%2BMccann.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Amber | Seattle, WA What's the name of the person you lost? Micah What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss their laugh, humor, them calling me sissy, playing games with them, being their friend and giving them advice, adventuring outside, playing disc golf, I miss so much Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I don’t want to be asked how he passed, it was an overdose and the stigma is real. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586372710819-IV3MUG16HIUWROR4RMXN/Amanda%2BO_Leary.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Amanda | Colorado What's the name of the person you lost? Cody What is a favorite memory you have of them? While I was still in high school I worked as a hostess at a local restaurant. Cody was only 10 at the time. Every night I would come home from work and that sweet little boy would offer to tickle my back before he had to go to bed (because he knew I love back tickles). He did this after almost every single shift for over a year. What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? My mother-in-law watched my kids and kept my house work done for me the entire week we planned his funeral that way I could be with my mother and other two siblings. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586389362417-JCEIA9EU5OX9SGLLNL4O/Anne%2BNelson.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Anne | New Jersey What's the name of the person you lost? Caitlin Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people would ask me to tell them about my sister, her interests, her goals, her dreams. I want to do whatever I can to keep her memory alive. What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? After Caitlin died, her friends shared photos and videos of her that put a smile on my face. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586389841641-42K3FH7WQ6BHXJVAZ2IA/Annie+E+%28Ernst%29.jpeg Siblings Day 2020 Annie | Chicago, IL What's the name of the person you lost? Erin What is a favorite memory you have of them? Erin is my oldest sister and my favorite memory of her, although it is hard to choose just one, was all the times she advocated for others-- even if they were strangers to her. Being four years younger than her, I did not always understand it. But growing up I understood that she wore her heart on her sleeve and loved unconditionally-- giving others the courage to do the same. What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? Someone pulled me into a hug and said "welcome to the club that no one wants to be a part of." It really stuck with me and I found it very comforting. This is a club that no one wants to be a part of but it is a club of people who love harder and deeper than anyone else I know. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? When someone asks me about my siblings, I always include Erin. The bond of siblings is incredibly strong-- death doesn't come close to changing it. As I grow, I love and appreciate her more and more. On Siblings day, and every other day, I am thinking of everyone who has also lost a sibling and sending them strength and love. Our siblings are so special and we will never stop celebrating their lives. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586390052376-WPNUV51C3O52AUD8NH70/Cat+Hillarby.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Cat | United Kingdom What's the name of the person you lost? Andrew (Andy) What do you miss (or not miss) about them? His jokes, his presence, being able to spend time as a complete family and sharing nostalgic stories. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people would ask about him rather than ignoring the subject. I don't want him to be forgotten. The image above is a bookmark my brother gave to me, which I thought I'd misplaced. Thankfully I found it and now really treasure it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586370945693-VNUJ8OR90GRUFBW94U54/Alison%2BFishburn.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Alison | Paris, Canada What's the name of the person you lost? Abby What is a favorite memory you have of them? Growing up, Abby was one hell of a loan shark. She always had money and I always needed money to satisfy a sugar addiction. When I was 8, she 7, I borrowed $2.50 from her to buy peanut M&Ms. She lent it to me after I begged her for it, and agreed to pay her back plus interest of 25 cents for every hour until I paid her back. By the time I remembered to pay her back I owed her over $20 in interest. Loan. Shark. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Two weeks after Abby died, I was back home in New York talking with a group of friends from an improv class, waiting to see an improv show together. I'd missed our last class and when someone asked where I'd been I let them know my sister had died. Radio silence. Then one of the guys told me his brother had died ten years earlier and that the grief never goes away. Almost seven years later, I'm still grateful for his honesty. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586305890621-BAJWBVERW5VMK9POYK9L/Diane+Velez.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Diane | Baldwin Park, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Brian What is a favorite memory you have of them? One of the memories I keep going back to is the Thursday night before Brian's death we went bike riding with a friends, laughed, ate tacos and then rode back home around 11:00 pm. On the ride home, a car sped up and almost hit me but Brian managed to get in between the car and me forcing the driver to stop. After that incident I made a joke that he was my hero and saved my life. I think about how scary and powerful that night was, reminding me that he loved me and will forever be my hero. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? I am forever grateful for the community of colleagues, coworkers and friends that supported me after Brian's death. From people delivering food to our house, helping create his final mixtape and organizing a memorial bike ride. I know that I wouldn't have survived those initial dark months without so much love from my support group. I am especially thankful to have a grief partner, someone who knew both my brother and I, and somehow stayed by my side through the ugliest moments of my grief. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586390467280-71DLA1CZM082ABL61KA3/TDP-logomark.png Siblings Day 2020 Nicole | Louisville, KY What's the name of the person you lost? Brent What is a favorite memory you have of them? The little laugh he had when he was surprised ❤️ What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? Let me talk about it and be sad, or not, it’s just nice to say his name and memories. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586390457050-ATU28T363P5XT2Q3VBIC/TDP-logomark.png Siblings Day 2020 Aimee | Virginia What's the name of the person you lost? Kelly What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? My best friend and sisters just laid in bed with me and didn’t say a word. We just silently laid there and cried. That was better than a thousand “how are you doing?” Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Every loss is different and every person grieves differently but I am here for and stand by all the siblings who feel alone after the loss of a brother or sister. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586390460156-XPZHXUFLM0XL0LFOQLJ5/TDP-logomark.png Siblings Day 2020 Marjorie | Raleigh, NC What's the name of the person you lost? Sara What is a favorite memory you have of them? logistical planning of vacations and packing What do you miss (or not miss) about them? the loss of her not seeing her family grow and all the support she provided others across the country as she is quite gifted in so many areas . https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586310527466-ZAA4V3GTKIQ9PJMLEJBJ/Kelly%2BTaveras.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Kelly | Tucson, AZ What's the name of the person you lost? Ramon What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss his humor. He had a way of making me laugh and he had a great smile. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? My moms having a special birthday dinner for him each year has been helpful and also celebrating his angel anniversary together too, which unfortunately is only a month after his birthday. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586219630306-LJEQ3FNYF5A1TOGX9A3H/Nicole+Reddick.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Nicole | Chicago, IL What's the name of the person you lost? Robyn What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss Robyn's infectious energy. She could walk into a room and fill it with laughter and love. You could always feel her love when she spoke to you and she knew all of my brother and sisters' secrets because she always listened. I miss that free-spirit who was always ready to take on anything no matter what. What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? Showed up. I came home to Chicago after being with my family in Ohio and I was alone. Friends who just showed up for me and checked in with me kept me going. Grief is hard and you can't think straight. You don't want to ask for help, you just need someone to give it. Sometimes that means just showing up. Maybe you bring dinner, maybe you bring dessert, maybe you just bring yourself to sit and grieve with me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586305304861-0FCKU7Q978VIT82VJLCD/Dayna+Wilson.JPG Siblings Day 2020 Dayna | London, England What's the name of the person you lost? Shevon What is your favorite memory of them? Maybe around a year before he died, he was wrestling with my nephew who at the time was only around 4 years old - they adored each other, the laughter and pure joy filled the room. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss his dimples. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I've made a lot of new friends over the past year, I wish they were interested in who he was as a person. Through fear of upsetting me no one asks me any questions about him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586220924805-3U6W6DGVY7WPQ7BX1OWN/Caitlin+Stewart.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Caitlin | Brooklyn What's the name of the person you lost? Andrew What is your favorite memory of them? I remember playing with him and my older brother often when we were younger. We made an elaborate, multiple-room fort using the cabinets and tables and chairs in our basement, covered with blankets. We called it our haunted house and we dressed up like witches and ghosts and werewolves. We pretended to brew potions and cackle and howl at the moon together. I also loved racing our little tricycles around on the back porch. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? It's so hard when strangers, acquaintances, or new friends ask me questions like, "do you have any siblings?" or "do you have any brothers or sisters?" I never know how to answer. If I say, I have one brother, I feel like I am lying and erasing Andrew's existence. I HATE doing that. If I tell them I used to have two brothers, the conversation suddenly takes a sad turn and I worry about making them and myself uncomfortable. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586386364626-I5FYZHEN7M92O7UOA83S/Zenobia+Smith.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Zenobia | Brighton, MA What's the name of the person you lost? Maleek What is your favorite memory of them? When he sat my family around the dinner table to tell us about his favorite day ever. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss the way he would answer the phone. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586309669636-V3ZJ4KMPINI2TTC2GJA7/Hayden+Withers.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Hayden | Brooklyn, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Nicola (Nikki) Hedley (Noxious) What is a favorite memory you have of them? I think one of my favorite memories of her is during my childhood. She had taken me to the park and I feel off the see-saw. She made me feel so supported after falling off that I didn't even cry. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? How is your grief today? Talk about her. Ask me about her. Remember that my pain and damage is something that you can't see but it is still there. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586371139559-NAAQR0A1OZIVKQGYTE80/TDP-logomark.png Siblings Day 2020 Chelsea | Massachusetts What's the name of the person you lost? Camden What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I do not miss being concerned about the choices he would make (protective older sister instinct). I miss his infectious laughter and our shared sense of humor. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? From day one, I wished people would ask me how I was doing. I have been forced to deal with others' discomfort of someone in deep pain and their inability to process unnatural death. Today, 9 months later, my wish is the same: I wish people would ask me how I am doing or want to know what my brother was like. I know some people do not want to be asked about their loss, but I have advocated for this in my circles and still do not feel that my ongoing pain is acknowledged in this way. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586220104761-7COMDD2V36L7IQJ0QUOV/Josie%2BSoriano.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Josie | Los Angeles, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Wilma What was their relationship to you? Wilma was my big sister - I always looked up to her and she always took care of me. What is a favorite memory you have of them? My sister taught me how to read and we used to always read together, quietly and in the same room. As we grew older, we constantly sent each other books we finished or ordered two of the same book, and talked about them. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? On any birthday, special occasion, life changes, or even personal successes/failures I wish people would acknowledge how hard it is for me that she's missing out on them. She was my biggest supporter throughout my entire life. She helped raise me and was my closest person and I don't know how to explain what a big hole is left in my life now that she's gone to people who don't have the same relationship. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586307315946-XPUM021P6C5AY8CR3TXD/Diane%252BRoznowski.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Diane | Washington, DC What's the name of the person you lost? Emily What is a favorite memory you have of them? We spent summer vacations at Eagles Mere Lake in Pennsylvania and always built the best sandcastles together. I also really loved watching Emily become a mother and the love she so clearly had for her daughter. What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? Two friends drove two hours to be with me despite having to work and study for finals. One of those friends came back every weekend for the first three weeks. I honestly don’t know how I would have survived without them. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586306045443-RXG9IS5SB7GRQHG3WCM3/Emily+McMordie.jpeg Siblings Day 2020 Emily | Philadelphia, PA What's the name of the person you lost? John What is your favorite memory of them? Almost one year before John died, he, my sister and I took a weeklong road trip from San Francisco to Seattle after his college graduation. That was the first and only time we spent that much time together, just the three of us, and it forged our sibling bond even deeper than it was before. The first night we stayed on a mini horse farm in the middle-of-nowhere-California and went on a late night walk. The sky was so unadulterated that you could see every single star. John and I convinced my sister to lay down in the middle of a road with us to stargaze. We belly laughed and soaked in the beauty above us. It’s a simple memory, but it’s such a fond one. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? John loved to go deep - he would ask you personal questions, existential questions, ask you to share your opinions on controversial topics, your beliefs, your memories, your fears, your life goals. He didn’t just ask these questions because he liked to talk, but rather because he wanted to listen and learn. It was inspired by his highly inquisitive nature. He wanted to know what mattered to you so that he could broaden his perspective of the world, and so that he could respect and love each person in his life for their individuality. I haven’t yet found this quality in any other person. It was incredibly unique and special and refreshing - I miss that about having John in this world. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586371161454-574FE938QQ8K3WPUAGWE/Corinne+Shea.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Corinne | Amherst, NH What's the name of the person you lost? Brendan What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss seeing Brendan in the role of father most -- he was an incredible parent. Seeing our sons grow up is such a gift but they are also a clear demonstration of the passage of time since his death. I also miss my brother at our extended family's gatherings -- I see my aunts and uncles who remain close as they have aged and it quickly sinks in that my brother and I will miss out on all those conversations -- recalling our experiences growing up together, with our parents, our childhood friends, and our own children as they grow. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? An amazing group of friends showed up to support me on the day of his memorial, having driven/flown into Boston from across the country. That demonstration of love on the hardest day of my life is something I can't ever repay. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586306183257-NN1DA10YPUERLBFN7K56/Eve+Bromberg.jpeg Siblings Day 2020 Eve | Brooklyn, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Maxx What is your favorite memory of them? Going to the movies with them and looking over at them during the movie and seeing them marvel at the screen. They were also my spell check. I used to text them asking how to spell something (spelled incorrectly), and they'd respond with the proper spelling. They always knew what I was trying to write. Another memory is that on my birthday of this year (November 8th), even though their memory was all but gone, I woke them up that morning and when they asked what day it was they instantly opened their eyes looked at me and wished me a happy birthday. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586309876317-UN2XJJXWPDHH42NIWDDT/Jade+Langevin.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Jade | Biddeford, ME What's the name of the person you lost? Michael What is your favorite memory of them? Every memory is cherished, but I really miss his smile, and the way we’d bicker over the bathroom in the morning! What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? People who just listened and let me cry. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586371344345-03BYY1WMADUQ1R5XNEA4/TDP-logomark.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Jesse | Brooklyn, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Jordan What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss his warm hugs, impeccable music taste, and high pitched laugh. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish more people would ask me questions in general. He was a huge part of my life, and still is. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586309985757-S60SIDTHQ6LOVJ7QCVA7/Jakob+Rosenberg.JPG Siblings Day 2020 Jakob | Bonn, Germany What's the name of the person you lost? Sophie What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? Having people continue to check in on me months after the fact, send letters or notes just letting me know they're thinking of me, or asking to see or learn more about them. There's such a wave and outpour of support in the first month after mom and sister died and then slowly but surely, people forget or don't bring them up. Maybe it's out of fear of discomfort or forgetting that it's still such a big part of my life but I don't want to forget and I don't want to move on and I still want to remember them with others and share my memories of them with others. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? I just wish I could see her again, hear her, talk to her, hug her, and have my baby sister back in my life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586390316400-HNIEOM6PN8GOY2FWWITO/Connor+Needham.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Conner | Los Angeles, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Kelly What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss his positive energy and laugh. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? It's hard for me to say. Sometimes I love talking about him, sometimes I would rather not bring it up. I can't fault someone for not knowing what to ask because I don't even know what I want to be asked. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586310251840-0ED1552UHEI20GBOCQXB/Jessica+Grey.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Jessica | Durham, NC What's the name of the person you lost? Missy What is your favorite memory of them? One summer day, Missy and I were playing around in the backyard while the grown-ups were working out front. The stairs out back were freshly built and the wood planks were a little sharp. I slipped while dashing down the stairs and cut my Achilles heel. The wound was pretty deep and it wouldn't stop bleeding. I told Missy that I didn't want Mom to find out because she was already really stressed out, so she ran into our parents' bathroom and found gauze and band-aids and helped me doctor the cut. As far as I know, Mom never found out. I still have a scar from the incident and I think about Missy every time I see it. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss her honesty. She was blunt but not without empathy. She just didn't have patience for anyone's bullsh*t. I've always admired that about her. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586372583639-MYMPPEUMSL13P9KS7N3W/Allison+Schroeder.JPG Siblings Day 2020 Allison | Brooklyn, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Erica Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? "How are you doing?" It's been almost 13 years (to the day on April 4th), and it feels like people have started to forget when really the loss still often feels so present to me. What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? My best friend, Emma, dedicated her life to helping others. She went on to be a palliative care social worker with families and children who have chronic and terminal illnesses. She spends every day doing work in honor of Erica. She has walked alongside me for the last 13 years and is always the first person to know what I need and when I need it. She simply was there and that's the best thing anyone can do. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586389954806-E4T4ZS4I09ZCVQ81NSSG/Casey+Sanders.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Casey | Chicago, IL What's the name of the person you lost? John Robert (J.R.) What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss a lot of things about him: saying his name (something I never thought of having to grieve). Our spontaneous tap-dancing sessions in the kitchen. The way he could bring fun, laughter, and joy into a room. Watching him love his son and fiancée. But really, I miss watching his story unfold--he was 20 when he died and there is so much that I want to know. It feels like I was in the middle of reading this story that I loved only to turn a page in the middle and realize that the author abruptly stopped writing--and now I'm left with this constant, nagging feeling of wondering how it was supposed to end. What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? On the day of the visitation, I was talking to some of my friends when I mentioned with a laugh (in attempt to lighten the mood) that the heel on my shoe had broken. Immediately, one of my guy friends asked me what size shoe I wore. I told him and he promptly left. A little while later, he returned with a new (cute) pair of heels and a dress, a black one with polka dots, which he got to replace the one I was going to wear to the funeral. He saw a need and filled it, and his actions spoke volumes more than words ever could. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586310614418-HDBZS3R1MIFYP8TMB0IV/Lucas+Becker.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Lucas | New York, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Carl What do you miss (or not miss) about them? Their complete acceptance of me Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? Ask me about the good times instead of "what happened?" https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586310724206-SGYNEZADSQSAIKZXNT0O/Maya+Kosok.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Maya | Baltimore, MD What's the name of the person you lost? Ariana What is your favorite memory of them? Driving home from a family dinner as teenagers and rocking out SO HARD to silly pop music that we got looks from all the other cars around us. Also, taking her and her friends out to a club (that was totally not my scene) for her 18th birthday and playing chauffeur. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Most people avoided the subject completely, but I found it really helpful when a couple friends asked how I was doing and asked about my sister - they weren't afraid to bring it up, which is good because it was constantly on my mind. It's not like anyone was going to suddenly remind me that my 18-year-old sister had just died suddenly. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586221121581-KGOMD1T61R5UM1P3KV61/Betsy%2BKaplan.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Sophie | Washington D.C. What's the name of the person you lost? Olivia What do you miss (or not miss) about them? All the inside jokes, stories and experiences only the two of us shared and could laugh about. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people would ask to hear more stories about her! What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? Not be afraid to talk about positive memories with me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586386666889-8HJG64X36KV9ML7OFGMR/Tatiana%2BToro.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Tatiana | Washington, D.C. What's the name of the person you lost? Adriana (“Adri”) What is your favorite memory of them? It’s hard to pick a single best memory of my sister but I often find myself missing the small, mundane things the most. Driving in her car—that she so often dinged and scratched, she would duck tape her front bumper frequently, laughing the whole time—with Tame Impala or the Black Keys or Led Zeppelin blasting, singing along to every word. This is as free as I’ve ever felt. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? Sometimes all we need is someone to look us in the eyes and be there, in the moment, accepting our grief and seeing us for everything we still are outside of that pain. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586372210217-BFEO2RBENZF5VM5LH70R/Margaret+Owusu.jpeg Siblings Day 2020 Mimi | Ann Arbor, MI What's the name of the person you lost? Patricia (Trisha) What is a favorite memory you have of them? On New Year’s Eve, almost a week before Trisha passed, she and I lied to our parents and told them we were going to her friend’s party in Ann Arbor. Little did they know, we hopped on Megabus to go party with our older sister, Rose, in Chicago. Despite the hour time difference, we called our parents right at midnight, so that we wouldn’t blow our cover! The party was lackluster but we had such a good time! Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Grief is not hierarchical. While it shouldn’t be, my experience has revealed the ways that sibling grief sometimes gets overlooked. People often focus on the grief that children, parents, and partners/spouses feel when a loved one dies. The bond between siblings is so beautiful. Our siblings are often our first friends (sometimes enemies), mentors, etc. Trisha taught me to love deeply, intentionally, and abundantly. It is this love that gives me hope in times when my grief overwhelms me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586372262236-LFU2GXNVVNOC9UC5DBH8/Jillian+O%27Brien.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Jillian | Laurel, MD What's the name of the person you lost? Kevin Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? I enjoy doing things to remember and honor my brother. I still want his name to be said and his passions to be recognized. He was such a loving person. I wish I had more pictures and recordings of him. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? Ask me anything about him. My favorite memory. What he liked. Where he lived. About his pets. About our childhood. I just want to remember it all, and it fades if I don’t recall it all. That is the hardest part- losing my memories of him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586310341425-THWUL0633JZJ8A6581V7/Kate+Tafelski.JPG Siblings Day 2020 Kate | Baltimore, MD What's the name of the person you lost? Elizabeth What is your favorite memory of them? Elizabeth couldn't read or write, but she loved to text and snap chat. It started when we both got Razor phones for Christmas in the mid-2000s. As technology progressed and she got an iphone with Siri her text messages evolved from bunches of letters to clusters of words to full sentences with lots of emojis. Receiving a text from Elizabeth was always the best part of my day, it meant she was thinking of me and I could feel her love. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Messages sending love and support meant a lot to me. Something more than a comment on a facebook or instagram post. A real message sharing a memory of her or just sending a virtual hug. Elizabeth had a special impact during her time here, and hearing those stories always makes me smile. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586389229895-P8UD8C4U5VHCQWE5D9QV/Andrea+L_Heureux.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Andrea | Sacramento, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Richard What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? Although food was so appreciated (and devoured), one thing that stands out most is a cousin who brought face masks and little beauty products over when she visited. I loved that I didn't have to use them right away, and that when I was in the mood to pamper myself again they were there. In the weeks following his death, it was a reminder to nurture myself. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Richard was the most authentic, curious, and generous guy! He made those that knew him better, just by being himself. His life and his loss continues to color every thing I do, and shape me into the person I am. Being his oldest sister will forever be the privilege of my life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586393263135-GWFOAC5ME5AHRIV55VTZ/Molly%252BPotel.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Molly | New York, NY What's the name of the person you lost? Matt What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss him making me laugh like no one else can. I miss him taking me under his wing, and prioritizing me over his friends. I felt incredibly validated by him, not like I was just his kid sister. I miss how he made me feel, really. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? An old teacher I was never particularly close to visited my home and shared that he had lost his sibling in an accident when he was young as well, and if I ever wanted to talk to him, to just reach out. I never did reach out, but I never forgot how kind that was. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586385999717-TLZ0O9VHE3BLR4W86POA/Taylor+Drake.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Taylor | Tucson, AZ What's the name of the person you lost? Justin What is your favorite memory of them? Simply laughing with him. Justin could be so silly and had a contagious laugh that you couldn't help being affected by. The way he would poke fun at all of us would have our family crying with laughter. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss just having a big brother. I miss that person who is supposed to be a role model or the person who is supposed to give me advice. I miss having someone to call who I can talk about things with who would understand my perspective as a child. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586385693617-72XD9OSXIOEYUAG31OL4/Olivia+Wilson.jpeg Siblings Day 2020 Olivia | Austin, TX What's the name of the person you lost? Kellon What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss having someone that truly understands what our childhood was like. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? When I came back to where I was living after spending a few weeks with my parents, a group of my friends had cleaned my room and left me a small care package in my room. I was so nervous to return and that made such a difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586386495083-89RZ5UVKIV0AHZZ1R0EO/Hayley+Boyle.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Hayley | Philadelphia, PA What's the name of the person you lost? Brendan What is your favorite memory of them? One of the best memories I have of Brendan is when he surprised me by showing up to my Sweet 16. He had been in rehab and wasn't really allowed out, but got special permission to come to my Sweet 16 party (we had it at my town community center). I remember literally having to catch my breath when I turned around and saw him walking in the door. I remember being so surprised and happy to see him--my big brother, standing there in an olive green button down shirt and tie with a Build-a-Bear gift for me. I cried literal pure tears of joy seeing him, knowing that he worked hard to be there for me, knowing that he loved me that much to surprise me. I'll never forget hugging him that night, holding him and telling him how happy I was to see him. I remember dancing with him afterwards, and just thinking about how nice it was to feel like our relationship was normal--that for those moments, he wasn't a drug addict or a criminal, that he was just my big brother, dancing with me at my Sweet 16. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? It makes me sad to say, but I don't miss the disappointment... there were always feelings of disappointment with Brendan because of his addiction issues. I think the hardest thing of all was that he knew he was disappointing us--and often times hurting us--but couldn't stop. Addiction makes you ill. It takes over. And it makes me sad that Brendan disappointed us, but even more sad that he disappointed himself time and again. That he couldn't seem to keep his promises. I definitely don't miss the feelings of disappointment, even though I do miss him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586385395137-CPTQAETJ37OALNE7QVJD/Michelle%2BCenteno.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Michelle | Rialto, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Josh What is your favorite memory of them? Dodger Games. My brother was my partner in sports. We never missed a beat once baseball season started. No matter what was happening in our lives, baseball always connected us. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Sibling loss is rough. I shared my entire childhood and young adulthood into mature adults with my brother. And one thing people don’t understand is that when one loses a siblings, a part of that is gone. I wish people would acknowledge siblings more. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586370816777-P2YJAS1NGRQTJJYTVZ9T/Nikki%2BMingola.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Nikki | Fort Collins, CO What's the name of the person you lost? Robby What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss his voice more than anything. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people wouldn't ask me how many siblings I have. I don't know how to answer that. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? I enjoy doing things to remember and honor my brother. I still want his name to be said and his passions to be recognized. He was such a loving person. I wish I had more pictures and recordings of him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586390190402-X029OME2ONTXM4W1YJYG/Charlotte+Lasek.JPG Siblings Day 2020 Charlotte | Chicago, IL What's the name of the person you lost? Chris What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss the brother that was gentle and kind hearted. I don't miss watching him suffer with mental illness and substance abuse. What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? So many people did so much that it's hard to come up with one instance, but the night of his funeral we had a huge party and one interaction I will always remember, and appreciate, was a heart-to-heart I had with two people. My brother died of suicide and struggled for many years with substance abuse and mental illness. Most people, not surprisingly, didn't bring that up in the days following his death, probably because they thought it'd be too painful to discuss. However, I found that having an honest conversation about the complexity of grief helped me more than the typical words of comfort spoken after a person dies. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586385849570-EF46FTGBG3EYLWE1WZ3P/Sarah+Evangelista.JPG Siblings Day 2020 Sarah | Whitehouse Station, NJ What's the name of the person you lost? Christopher What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss his infectious smile, sense of humor, and caring about those around him. Sadly those were lost to his addiction long before his life. I don't miss the sleepless nights - waiting for the call to come that let me know something had gone wrong. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? One of our closest friends flew to Florida, where Christopher had been living, and cleaned out his apartment and took care of everything so that my mother and I did not have to. One of my closest girlfriends drove 3+ hours to just to sit in the church for me at the funeral. Another dropped spaghetti and meatballs on my doorstep when I returned home just so she knew I would be fed. My grandmother's lifelong friend had her daughter drive her 3+ hours just so she could sit with my grandmother in the afternoon. Kindnesses, big and small. It's what makes it just a bit easier to get up in the morning. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586388397210-GLJ5PQH8K1KRX820BAHP/Tomi%2BKennedy.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Tomi | Eaton, CO What's the name of the person you lost? Toby What is your favorite memory of them? Riding dirt bikes on a trail but under the bridge he lost the seat to his dirt bike and he could barely reach the ground on it anyways, but when he lost his seat, he goes “look I can reach now.” It wasn’t the fact that he lost his seat or could reach, he made the best out of any scenario and always cherished every moment. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss everything. His laughter, making unforgettable memories, and how he could brighten up your day in the matter of a second, not matter how bad of a day you were having. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586388607633-DU6HW1BECVKY1OLTB4EW/Tiarra%2BKennedy.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Tiarra | Eaton, CO What's the name of the person you lost? Toby What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss him being there for every event, and just being by my side in general. My brother was the one I always looked up to.. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Just being there for me and my family. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586220419810-FBUVGK4X8JYT2N5YFQSU/Sara+Schaller.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Sara | Ypsilanti, MI What's the name of the person you lost? Matthew What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss his intelligence. His astute understanding of culture. He was compassionate and looked out for me. I miss his silliness. I miss his desire for a better life. I miss the chance to have a relationship with him. What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? I was 20 and an assistant manager at a Quiznos. The day his body was found, they closed the store down so I could have the day to take it all in. After we reopened I had developed such a rapport with the customers, I had so many cards and flowers. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586388848325-ZM7SRVK149V41SBJZOC7/Amber%2BMccann.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Amber | Seattle, WA What's the name of the person you lost? Micah What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss their laugh, humor, them calling me sissy, playing games with them, being their friend and giving them advice, adventuring outside, playing disc golf, I miss so much Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I don’t want to be asked how he passed, it was an overdose and the stigma is real. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586372710819-IV3MUG16HIUWROR4RMXN/Amanda%2BO_Leary.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Amanda | Colorado What's the name of the person you lost? Cody What is a favorite memory you have of them? While I was still in high school I worked as a hostess at a local restaurant. Cody was only 10 at the time. Every night I would come home from work and that sweet little boy would offer to tickle my back before he had to go to bed (because he knew I love back tickles). He did this after almost every single shift for over a year. What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? My mother-in-law watched my kids and kept my house work done for me the entire week we planned his funeral that way I could be with my mother and other two siblings. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586389362417-JCEIA9EU5OX9SGLLNL4O/Anne%2BNelson.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Anne | New Jersey What's the name of the person you lost? Caitlin Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people would ask me to tell them about my sister, her interests, her goals, her dreams. I want to do whatever I can to keep her memory alive. What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? After Caitlin died, her friends shared photos and videos of her that put a smile on my face. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586389841641-42K3FH7WQ6BHXJVAZ2IA/Annie+E+%28Ernst%29.jpeg Siblings Day 2020 Annie | Chicago, IL What's the name of the person you lost? Erin What is a favorite memory you have of them? Erin is my oldest sister and my favorite memory of her, although it is hard to choose just one, was all the times she advocated for others-- even if they were strangers to her. Being four years younger than her, I did not always understand it. But growing up I understood that she wore her heart on her sleeve and loved unconditionally-- giving others the courage to do the same. What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? Someone pulled me into a hug and said "welcome to the club that no one wants to be a part of." It really stuck with me and I found it very comforting. This is a club that no one wants to be a part of but it is a club of people who love harder and deeper than anyone else I know. Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? When someone asks me about my siblings, I always include Erin. The bond of siblings is incredibly strong-- death doesn't come close to changing it. As I grow, I love and appreciate her more and more. On Siblings day, and every other day, I am thinking of everyone who has also lost a sibling and sending them strength and love. Our siblings are so special and we will never stop celebrating their lives. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586390052376-WPNUV51C3O52AUD8NH70/Cat+Hillarby.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Cat | United Kingdom What's the name of the person you lost? Andrew (Andy) What do you miss (or not miss) about them? His jokes, his presence, being able to spend time as a complete family and sharing nostalgic stories. Is there anything you wish people would ask (or not ask)? I wish people would ask about him rather than ignoring the subject. I don't want him to be forgotten. The image above is a bookmark my brother gave to me, which I thought I'd misplaced. Thankfully I found it and now really treasure it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586370945693-VNUJ8OR90GRUFBW94U54/Alison%2BFishburn.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Alison | Paris, Canada What's the name of the person you lost? Abby What is a favorite memory you have of them? Growing up, Abby was one hell of a loan shark. She always had money and I always needed money to satisfy a sugar addiction. When I was 8, she 7, I borrowed $2.50 from her to buy peanut M&Ms. She lent it to me after I begged her for it, and agreed to pay her back plus interest of 25 cents for every hour until I paid her back. By the time I remembered to pay her back I owed her over $20 in interest. Loan. Shark. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Two weeks after Abby died, I was back home in New York talking with a group of friends from an improv class, waiting to see an improv show together. I'd missed our last class and when someone asked where I'd been I let them know my sister had died. Radio silence. Then one of the guys told me his brother had died ten years earlier and that the grief never goes away. Almost seven years later, I'm still grateful for his honesty. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586305890621-BAJWBVERW5VMK9POYK9L/Diane+Velez.jpg Siblings Day 2020 Diane | Baldwin Park, CA What's the name of the person you lost? Brian What is a favorite memory you have of them? One of the memories I keep going back to is the Thursday night before Brian's death we went bike riding with a friends, laughed, ate tacos and then rode back home around 11:00 pm. On the ride home, a car sped up and almost hit me but Brian managed to get in between the car and me forcing the driver to stop. After that incident I made a joke that he was my hero and saved my life. I think about how scary and powerful that night was, reminding me that he loved me and will forever be my hero. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? I am forever grateful for the community of colleagues, coworkers and friends that supported me after Brian's death. From people delivering food to our house, helping create his final mixtape and organizing a memorial bike ride. I know that I wouldn't have survived those initial dark months without so much love from my support group. I am especially thankful to have a grief partner, someone who knew both my brother and I, and somehow stayed by my side through the ugliest moments of my grief. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586390467280-71DLA1CZM082ABL61KA3/TDP-logomark.png Siblings Day 2020 Nicole | Louisville, KY What's the name of the person you lost? Brent What is a favorite memory you have of them? The little laugh he had when he was surprised ❤️ What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? Let me talk about it and be sad, or not, it’s just nice to say his name and memories. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586390457050-ATU28T363P5XT2Q3VBIC/TDP-logomark.png Siblings Day 2020 Aimee | Virginia What's the name of the person you lost? Kelly What's something helpful someone did for you after they died? My best friend and sisters just laid in bed with me and didn’t say a word. We just silently laid there and cried. That was better than a thousand “how are you doing?” Is there anything else that you want to share or that you wish we had asked you? Every loss is different and every person grieves differently but I am here for and stand by all the siblings who feel alone after the loss of a brother or sister. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1586390460156-XPZHXUFLM0XL0LFOQLJ5/TDP-logomark.png Siblings Day 2020 Marjorie | Raleigh, NC What's the name of the person you lost? Sara What is a favorite memory you have of them? logistical planning of vacations and packing What do you miss (or not miss) about them? the loss of her not seeing her family grow and all the support she provided others across the country as she is quite gifted in so many areas . https://www.thedinnerparty.org/mothersday2020 daily 0.75 2025-08-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588875102068-QN3ATZGWGN5WNHWEZ791/Liny+John.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Liny | Washington, DC What is your mom's name? Lizy What is your favorite memory of your mom? Any time she would come home after work and let me help her cook in the kitchen (she was an amazing cook and an even more amazing nurse - she was my hero!) What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? I miss her smile - she had the best smile! :-) Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would talk to me more about my mom and ask me about her. She's still a huge part of my life even if she's not physically here anymore. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588897864490-UDNP5ZSV81RX760BR8TL/Hope%2BLane.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Hope | Columbus, OH What is your mom's name? Kathy What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Every time I would talk about my mom, whether it be a memory, a phrase she would use a lot, a song that reminded me of her, a game we used to play together etc. my husband was noting them in his phone and eventually compiled them all together and created an organized living document for me to add to indefinitely. It helps me to remember the small things while not having to stress about writing them down myself. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588638237777-NQUAPDLG3CV090E5V13E/Jill+Gonzalez.JPG Mother's Day 2020 Jill | South Jersey What is your mom’s name? Barbara Rothschild Is there anything you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? Whether it was the day after, or now almost two years later, I wish people would stop ask how I'm doing. I don't know how I'm doing! I'm just... doing things in a way that would make my mom proud. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? I love when other people bring my mom up. Whether it's something I say, or a mannerism I replicate, or a character on a show -- I love when someone says, "That reminds me of Babs." Sometimes I forget to allow myself to be reminded on my own, so that really helps. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588358046382-LUQAMYI90UVK7QRP1601/Kate+Naylor.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Kate | Los Angeles, CA What is your mom's name? Erin Hinojosa What is your favorite memory of your mom? I have so many! I think seeing her graduate to get her masters is one. She put in so much work going to school full time while also working full time and raising a family — not only were we so proud of her but she was proud of herself. And that showed so much to me — it taught me to not give up if there’s something I want bad enough to fight for it. What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? Besides her chocolate chip cookies? The random texts, calls or care packages in the mail just to let me know she was thinking about me. I think most of all though I miss her calling me “peanut” which was my nickname since I was a kid. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874759603-U2S7FTDDESR23ET13GW1/Emeli%2BGalvez.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Emeli | Glen Cove, NY What is your mom's name? Maria What is your favorite memory of your mom? There are so many! My favorite was when we were discussing about death. I asked her if she would protect me if she were to die. She responded “Always - I will always be there for you no matter what.” I start to cry because the connection was so strong! What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? I miss hugging her more than anything and the way we would lock eyes with each other and instantly connected. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588691243848-TK111Q0L49IAZ23VB0SI/Criselda+Magat.png Mother's Day 2020 Lily | Arizona What is your mom's name? Criselda (Curly) Magat What do you miss (or not miss) about her? Her laugh. My mom's laugh was LOUD and could fill up every corner of a room. And when she thought something was really funny, she laughed in a loop.....each round louder than the one before. You couldn't help but laugh along with her! We always used to joke that it was easy to find her at a party, you just had to follow the laughter. And I've discovered that when I think something is reeealllly funny, that same laugh comes out of me. Glimpses of her voice in my own, that same exact sound that tells me she's laughing too. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874711243-2MSVX0QECS6ZA0UR6ZOX/Joanna%2BHoffman.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Joanna | Brooklyn, NY What is your mom's name? Barbara Hoffman What is your favorite memory of your mom? When I would take the train down from NY, she would be waiting there on the platform and would be so excited to see me that she’d jump up and down. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? My friend who had also lost her mom has continued to check in, because she knew after the funeral people would start to assume I was “over it.” I don’t think I’ll ever be over it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588359200930-TP7VEFRUMU6MS0RRCS4Z/Mia+Foreman.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Mia | Los Angeles, CA What is your mom's name? Rene Is there anything you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? My mom never felt like a victim to cancer. She battled the disease off and on for over 40 years and you never got the sense that she felt sorry for herself. I know she must of been in a lot of emotional pain and I wish she would've shared that more with me but she felt she had to always be strong which wasn't the truth. I wish people would still ask me how I am doing. It hasn't even been a year since my mom's death and I rarely get asked that anymore. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588691272100-IYA5ZGQC8AH8MGHPGTWM/Theodore+Daley.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Theodore | New York, NY What is your mom's name? Patricia Daley What is your favorite memory of her? My favorite memory of my mom is her smile and horrible joke telling. She was a principal and really loved corny jokes. What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I miss her playful spirit: she was always the biggest kid in the room. She would play tag with people even in her 60s. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? I wish they would stop asking if I am ok or how am I holding up. I don't think anyone who has lost a loved one will be ok again. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Just were more present. In terms of the little things, tried to take me out for a bubble tea, just gave me a phone call to talk about random things, just tried to be a friend. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588532590247-U0UPMC5RORNRA4T450ZB/Ashlee+Kong.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Ashlee | Minneapolis, MN What is your mom's name? Jamie What is your favorite memory of your mom? Giggling at inside jokes. What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? Being able to call and talk when I was sad or to get advice. What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost her? My best friend asked if I wanted to me alone or with friends. I told her with friends so I could be distracted. She made plans with me every single day for two weeks after my mom passed to make sure I was distracted and with people that cared about me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588368265085-MFJHY42ND17A0PPWO5RB/Cat+Beer.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Cat | New York, NY What is your mom's name? Jennifer Beer What is your favorite memory of your mom? I was home alone in the fifth grade. Doing what fifth graders do – twiddle their thumbs and sneak some cookie dough. My mom called me on my pink razor flip phone. She said that she was just about home, but a new song was on the radio by Sean Kingston, and that I MUST turn it on. The radio, can you imagine? I mean the threat that we may NEVER hear the song again on MTV, iTunes, or Kiss FM was slim, but the urgency was evident. She wanted to groove. Our massive, top-notch radio was shoved behind a big armchair. Every time you wanted to turn the radio on you needed to use some girth to shove aside that chair; nevertheless, it was a moment urgent enough to warrant that move. I shoved the chair out of the way and turned the radio on loud, blasting the new song with curiosity. It was a moment where my mother acted as my friend, my pal, my gal. I remember equal parts confusion, amazement, excitement, wanting-the-moment-to-last-forever. I didn’t see this side of my mom often, where she let her mom-curtain down and her play costume on. Don’t get me wrong, she was the most FUN woman on the planet, but this felt like a peer-to-peer interaction, and I was only 12, just one year before she passed. She was a firecracker. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874604435-E82X557LCLM1Q23HI51B/Denise%2BSkidmore.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Denise | Whittier, CA What is your mom's name? Joanna Skidmore What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? I miss doing silly things to make her laugh. And when I say laugh, she would crack up!! We would be in tears from laughing so hard for things that really were not that funny. Her laugh was contagious and so heartwarming. What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom? Just simply reaching out and offering their love and friendship to you. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588371902435-RFZVPU9SNE70TY493Z3R/Heather+Roedl.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Heather | San Diego, CA What is your mom's name? Nancy What is your favorite memory of your mom? One year I, as a joke, told her I would not come home for my birthday unless there was a red carpet rolled out for me upon arrival. When I got home and opened the front door there was a red carpet, white lights, candles, strawberries and champagne all next to a life size cardboard cutout of PSY, the one-hit wonder (don't ask). She was so fun and always went out of her way to make things special for her kids. What do you miss (or not) about your mom? Aside from the obvious, her laugh, hugs and the comfort I felt being with her, I miss the confidence and reassurance she gave me. She was always so encouraging, it was like she was my # 1 fan, I could go to her with anything and tell her everything knowing she would give me the best advice and never with judgment. No one gives love like a mother does, and it's hard to go through life now without that guidance, no one can replace the feeling she gave me when I needed it. She was my best friend. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588372003635-PMAM2VYQAAM92K2EVUJW/Jeanette+Quinlan.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Jeanette | San Francisco, CA What is your mom's name? Bernadette Urbani What is your favorite memory of your mom? When I was 16, she and I ate leftover pizza for lunch on Thanksgiving before she drove 300 miles to my aunt's house and ate all of her traditional leftovers. We also made record time! What do you miss (or not) about your mom? Her love of foreign languages and travel. I wish I had learned more Spanish and Italian from her and could share my stories from France. Is there anything you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? She was tough, multi-talented, and loved her family. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? “What do you do to keep her memory alive?” Sometimes it's difficult to consciously do something, but she's always "there". What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Too many to name - and for that I am so thankful! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588897806110-WVOR4J8DX2499639XXO6/Amber%2BUsiak.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Amber | Gilbert, AZ What is your grandmother’s name? Dorothy (Napoo) Stevens What is your favorite memory of them? When we were kids, my brother and her would play this game we called “gotcha last,” and the object of the game was to hit/tap the other person and run away before that could hit you back. My grandma would always cheat and use the dish towel to get us with since we were quicker than her. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss everything about her. She raised my younger brother and I when my parents bailed on us for drugs. She was the most amazing woman I have ever met. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588372649351-ACBH1V7CFHYW04ES4DHN/Victoria+Edelman.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Victoria | Jenkintown, PA What is your mom's name? Natalie Devlin What is your favorite memory of your mom? I will focus on one memory, when I think of my favorite I forget all memories. I remember when I was 10 we went to Ocean City, MD at the end of August for vacation. There was a hurricane coming, but my mom was determined to get our moneys worth. She has us go to the beach with our hats flying off our heads, sweatshirts on, and hair in our faces to pose for our summer picture What do you miss (or not) about your mom? I miss the sound of my mom’s voice. How it would go up an octave or two when she called for me in the house. She always called me “kiska,” which means kitty cat in Russian. I also miss having someone fiercely protective over me: someone who is watching out and loves me more than themselves at times. I lost my biggest cheerleader. Is there anything you wish people wouldn’t say? I wish people would stop trying to put a positive spin on things, like “aren’t you so happy you met your husband after such a tragic loss?” They don’t need to be lumped together. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588522634697-BGFFY2KZWGGRX09FHZKI/Evelyn+Kurpiewski.JPG Mother's Day 2020 Evelyn | Philadelphia, PA What is your mom's name? Cynthia What is your favorite memory of your mom? While my mom was going through chemotherapy, every Sunday I would wake up in the morning and move to my mom’s bed with our four dogs and snooze in the warm sunshine together, holding hands, petting dogs, petting her bald head, and listening to CBS Sunday Morning on the television. What do you miss (or not) about your mom? Her sense of humor and her advice on plant care and boys. Is there anything you wish people wouldn’t say? My mom died from lung cancer. I wish people wouldn’t ask, “Did she smoke?” and would understand that even though she did, briefly in the 70s, doesn’t mean that she deserved to die at 60. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588373122946-UTDHXPGGNRM6VUMFR9K9/Naomi+Edmondson.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Naomi | New York, NY What is your grandmother’s name? Evelyn Edmondson What is your favorite memory of your grandma? The last time I took her to lunch with my partner. We ate and laughed. She shared stories from my childhood. I hugged her so tight. What do you miss (or not) about her? I miss the simple pleasure of taking a long walk and giving her a call. Hearing her voice, listening to her give me advice. Her telling me everything would be ok. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would know that even though she was my grandmother, she was my mother. My grief is no less valid just because she wasn’t my birth mother. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874459757-E0LO0WKMJARKXS0KF16P/Cynthia%2BJohnson.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Christine | Louisville, KY What is your mom's name? Cynthia Johnson What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? I miss her sarcasm and sense of humor. I do not miss her drug addiction. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? “Why didn’t she just stop doing drugs?” What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Sat with me. No talking. Just sat. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874493155-U5AZVTLUXYC9EN4BO4CQ/Christie+Roark.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Christie | Lincoln, CA What is your mom's name? Ginny Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish my family and friends told stories about her more. I'm sure there are things I've never heard before. What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom? On the one year mark of my mom's passing, a friend sent me a beautiful gift. She bought a star and named it after my mom. A star just for her. It came with a celestial map so I could locate the star when I wanted to. To know someone remembered her and honored her in this way brought me to tears. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874518510-GBGFFXOZ5OX80UWGF6Y7/Sara%2BMcClory.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Sara | Clearwater, FL What is your mom's name? Ann What is your favorite memory of her? All our mother/daughter dates from when I was little until she was gone. Just her and I doing things we loved doing together. What do you miss (or not miss) about her? Just being able to talk to her. There was not a day that went by that I didn’t know how much she loved being a mother. I had heard it a million times, she loved being my Mom. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I love when people talk about her. People generally don’t bring her up, most likely for fear of upsetting me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874181906-KGSVPANOWG230Q7BVL9C/Jen%2BMiosi.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Jen | Independence, KY What is your mom's name? Linda Is there anything else that you wish people would ask? I wish people would ask me more about how I’ve had to manage and navigate life and new motherhood without her by my side. So many people see that I am surviving and still succeeding and I think assume I am not struggling, but just because I don’t outwardly show that this is HARD to get through without my mom, doesn’t mean it is easy. I wish people would simply ask more about her, more about how I’m doing, and care more about those of us who are young and experience these types of gaping losses. My mom was lost to a misdiagnosed heart attack (common in women) and I also wish people would ask more about that - be more open to understand what that looks like and how they could prevent the same from happening to them or their mothers/grandmothers/friends. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588523668725-CZMX2OJE66DCRY8GP6F3/Mari+Elia.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Mari | Toronto, Canada What is your mom's name? Tina What is your favorite memory of your mom? Her cooking. What do you miss (or not miss) about her? She was always there no matter what. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? She was a force to be reckoned with. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? “How are you doing?” What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Someone warned me you never get over it. It fills and then comes at you in waves. Ride the waves. That’s her loving you from afar. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874419780-QIFP6F9ZT0J114NT83OK/Sarah+Al-khayyal.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Sarah | Atlanta, GA What is your mom's name? Riccarda What is your favorite memory of her? Seeing her dancing at my brother’s wedding. I had never in my memory seen her dance like that, so carefree and happy. I don’t think I’d ever seen her dance at all, in fact. She looked so beautiful in her shimmery grey off the shoulder gown. What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I miss how she started off all phone calls and voicemails with, “hi Sarah, it’s mom.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874113772-JLTLISZQK4S6QEEQWHRW/Amanda%2BTchernotzkas.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Amanda | Brooklyn, NY What is your mom's name? Monica Wolff What do you miss (or not miss) about her? Her smile and her voice. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? It doesn’t get easier with time, you just get better at living with the loss over time. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? Let me know they are thinking of me on Mother’s Day. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588798042487-05IH7G312HLLIWKGJFHP/Cait+Vancise.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Cait | Canada What is your mom's name? Pam What is your favorite memory of your mom? The summer before she passed, we were shopping for makeup at Sephora (our favourite thing to do together) and I shared the news of my pregnancy with her. She didn’t get to meet my little boy, so I’m grateful for this memory. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? My mom was the most ferocious, loving mama. This first Mother’s Day without her will be devastating. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? Instead of asking how I was, a close friend would ask, “how is your grief today?” I felt like I could answer more honestly. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874151123-HNZ5H8450A23DQV1UDB4/Kate%2BDaniels.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Kate | San Diego, CA What is your mom's name? Ellen What is your favorite memory of her? Her laughing her head off while swimming in a pool at night time. True joy. What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? I miss everything about her. The way she’d always make me feel better without having to try. The way she walked. How excited she would get about certain art and artists. Her desire to keep it moving, always. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would ask what it’s like to miss your parents all the time. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Asked about her! Told me they missed her too. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874073797-XO4ZLE2L3GJ05K53A1AI/Elana%2BGoldenberg.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Elana | Overland Park, KS What is your mom's name? Missy What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I really miss sharing my accomplishments with my mom. She was always so proud of me (and my sisters), so not being able to celebrate those moments with her has been difficult. I have achieved so much this year (including my upcoming college graduation), but it's been bittersweet without her. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I've recently been thinking about how my mom earned her Master's in Special Education when I was in middle school. Now having friends in grad school, I can begin to understand the time, effort, and dedication necessary for her to achieve that, especially on top of being a teacher and a mom (and planning my Bat Mitzvah). I really admire her work ethic and determination. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588781043118-W5NGR47HYJQPDISZ5F78/Alisan+O%27Quinn.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Alisan | Hume, CA What is your mom's name? Susan What is your favorite memory of your mom? The last day I spent with her, I had moved 1,800 miles away seven months prior, and she and my dad made it out to visit me on a summer trip. It was the perfect day and I got to show my mom one of my favorite places. What do you miss about her? Hugs, talking on the phone, sharing my life. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? Anything and everything. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? No, I love to share. But after 1.5 years, people have stopped asking and listening. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Wash my dishes, binge The Office, understand that doing small things felt impossible https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588528354559-RCO5P1SZNO6VKQ8FL17S/Lauren+Wozniak.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Lauren | Chicago, IL What is your mom's name? Nadine What is your favorite memory of your mom ? My mom’s laugh and sense of humor could fill a whole room. She was bright and bubbly and full of love and energy. One time in a clothing store, she was trying to embarrass myself and my siblings so she put underwear on her head and danced around. She was the goofiest. What do you miss about her? I miss her smile. Along with her laugh, that smile lit up a room as well. Her kind eyes and her beaming smile I miss every single day. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? How she died. My mom died by suicide and that answer is so hard to give. I’m okay sharing that info, but the anxiety that comes right before sharing big news can be difficult to navigate. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588528541493-RPMTD55UZJYL9CL9O5SA/Jessie+Spellman.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Jessie | New York, NY What is your mom's name? Kim Kuraner Spellman What is your favorite memory of her? I am at the point in my grief that thinking about my mother makes me grin from ear to ear, even though my eyes still water. My mom was always smiling, joyful, vibrant. She made everything, even her chemo, fun. As we sit in quarantine and I watch the numbers on my scale go up, my sister and I have been reminiscing about something my mom used to do that always made us laugh. Whether we just got back from freshman year of college, 15 (okay 25) pounds heavier, or we had been hitting the gym the hardest we’d ever have in our life, my mother always had the same response to my sister and my nagging questions “am I fat?” “how do I look?” “can I get away with this crop top?” To each version of the same question my mom would carefully look at me or my sister. Ask us to turn around and despite how we actually looked or how many times we asked the question, she’d say the same thing, “You look great. You’re gorgeous. Now, if you want to be perfect, I’d say lose three pounds.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588624360604-ZMYOACW27E43DJPBCLEE/Rachel+James.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Rachel | Kansas City, KS What is your mom's name? Kristine What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? I miss the unwavering support and love that (at least seems to me) can only come from a mother. I miss her investment in me and her interest in my little life, like her texts that just showed she was thinking about me. There are few people in life that care about you so purely. I miss her on every holiday, when one of the countless things come up that remind me of her, and it is nearly too painful to think about how much I will miss her for the big stuff - like my wedding or having my first child. I just can’t explain how badly I miss having her here to experience life (mine and hers)…I don’t miss watching her suffer from her heart condition. I don’t miss the helpless feeling that I, even as a cardiac nurse, can’t do anything to prevent her slow decline even though she had always cared for herself perfectly. I don’t miss the devastating pleas that she wishes she felt better or that she had more time with us. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588529294640-M5IMYQEX7T22AW8U2DLD/Jess+Vetrano.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Jess | Minneapolis, MN What is your mom's name? Gennean What is your favorite memory of your mom? Creating our dream paradises and telling each other about them in moments of fright, sadness, and pain. What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? Her smile, her hugs, her laugh, her pure and utter joy, the fun she brought to every situation, so basically everything. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would ask normal questions about my mom like they do with their own very alive parents, rather than simply pretending I don’t have one. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? Gave me honesty rather than pity, offered to spend time with me as I am rather than trying to fix my pain. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588531740406-U7ZCBOL6A1HZCTLEGPK6/Allison+Diamond.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Allison | Brooklyn, NY What is your mom's name? Ellen What do you miss (or not miss) about her? As I get older, I find that I grieve the opportunity we lost to develop our relationship. I was seven when my mom died, and I often wonder how we would have grown together — if we would have a relationship characterized by affection, trust, support, frustration. To miss her is to wrestle with the unknowable nature of what could have been. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? After my mom died, a community of women - many of whom were my friends’ mothers - made an enormous effort to welcome me into their families. Years later, I recognize that their generosity and kindness helped to create an environment in which I felt safe and loved following my mom’s death. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588529677647-IH2Q3UMCWA3BOZMULA2T/Debbie+Silverman.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Debbie | Brookline, MA What is your mom's name? Patti What is your favorite memory of your mom? We were so similar that for a while, we had a challenging relationship. But as I matured and grew up (and she let go more), we bonded over life’s big adventures - my first condo, my wedding, etc. I’m about to move to a new state and my partner and I just bought our first houses it’s hard not having her here for this big stuff. Mom and I had such similar taste that I knew I could go to her for the big stuff. And the little stuff. Everything I needed, she was there with advice (whether I asked for it or not). What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I took for granted our regular conversations; she wanted every little detail and I’d get annoyed having to relive it. But in the last 18 months, I let go and gave her what she wanted. And now, I’d give anything to tell her every detail of my every day. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588529938665-N2KEPT7CRSXBCDC9QF9M/Melissa+Vanderfluit.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Melissa | Calgary, Canada What’s your mom’s name? Doreen Baker What is your favorite memory of your mom? My favourite memory of my mom is calling her every day. It was something we both needed, one for me to check in on her and two for her to check in on me. What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I miss my mom's intelligence. She was a brilliant mind in a poorly made body. She was incredibly well-read and had an amazing way of words. She also had a way of helping you out with any problem whether she truly knew the answer or not. Is there anything you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would ask me these kinds of questions: “What was your favourite memory of them?" or "What do you miss about them?" I think people are scared it will make me upset, but it's quite the contrary. I'll probably cry like I am doing now, but it would make me truly happy that someone is genuinely interested in what a wonderful person she was. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874013163-ZDC1QHID39Z2WVLX5POV/Melissa%2BBeDunnah.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Melissa | Lexington, NE What’s your mom’s name? Bea King What is your favorite memory of her? My favorite memory of my mom is going shopping with her as a teenager. She would buy me clothes and shoes, and afterward we would go eat pretzels or Chinese food in the mall. This was our bonding time together. Today, I’d give anything to go shopping with her again. What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I miss her baking. She always had some sort of yummy treat she had made for my dad or for us kids. I also miss calling and just talking to her on the phone. She always had everything figured out, always had a plan, and always had advice to give me when I needed it. What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom? A cousin had a photo of my mom 3D-printed for us. It’s one of my favorite pictures of her. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588530410587-JTQXJ44OYVMU8TVQW86X/Mackenzie+Alleman.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Mackenzie | Philadeliphia, PA What is your mom's name? Melissa Fenchak What do you miss (or not) about her? I miss having that go to person. I could vent to her about anything without judgement or over reaction. She let me feel my feelings and then talked with me about them. I miss her support. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would simply ask about her. The further out we get from the day we lost her, the less people talk about her. I try to do my best, but the reactions when I do bring her up are often uncomfortable. I just want to share the amazing human she was sometimes, no sympathy strings attached! What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? I had a friend who simply always checked in. Even when I wouldn’t respond for days on end, she would still send a good morning or good night text. She was the first person I went to when I was ready to step out and do something semi normal.. like lunch. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588530595712-64UKNGO5K48NQ70IDG62/Paige+Erickson.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Paige | Detroit, MI What is your mom's name? Sally Erickson What is your favorite memory of your mom? One particular memory is near impossible. But one thing I miss the most about her is how unconditional support and encouragement. She encouraged the smallest victories in my life, making me feel better about even the smallest of accomplishments. She followed up with me after any sort of project, exam, meaningful day, or just anything that I shared with her she always remembered to bring it up once it happened and to ask about how it went. She made me feel heard, important and loved even in my darkest of moments. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? I never really liked the question "how are you" beforehand. But now I hate it even more. I guess hate is a strong word but I want to respond to people "how the fuck do you think I am, people???" I wish there were other, more specific questions one could ask that address a similar area. I typically just resort to responding "alright." https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588873849905-JR6ASFDTKIN7D4PS7BJA/Samantha%2BDavis.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Samantha | San Francisco, CA What is your mom's name? Louisa Davis What do you miss (or not miss) about them? Everything. Her laugh, the way her keys jingled in a super market, the way ice clinked in her glass. Never having to search for conversation. Being able to say "Good morning, Mama!" and hearing "What's new in the daily news?" back. Making up songs together. How sharp, clever, and witty she was. Being able to decompress and knowing she was there to talk to about everything, in a language that made sense. Hearing her footsteps in the kitchen. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588873875566-O5ASDBX8Q6ZE78UMH51A/SueSehr-1.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Megan | Des Moines, IA What is your mom's name? Sue or ‘Suey’ Sehr What is your favorite memory of your mom? My mom was an artist. She never gave herself that much credit, but she was. Wherever my parents lived, she had an art studio where she would work. Dyeing fabric, sewing, painting, beadwork - you name it, she did it. I loved to go into her art studio, lie on the floor, and spend time talking to her about all kinds of things. Sometimes, she would be watching a documentary or a movie on Lifetime, and we would watch those together. She loved showing me the art she was creating, and I loved being able to be in that space with her. The photo I shared is from 3 months before she passed away. She had already started her chemo treatment for a Stage 4 cancer, and she wasn't sure she was going to be able to go to an art class on fabric dyeing that she had been looking forward to attending. Well, she got to go, and she was so happy. She shared all of the things she learned and created with me when she got home. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588873813107-NAZF9UKXP3CPWP71OJ4O/Natalie%2BGallucci.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Natalie | Fairfield, CT What is your mom's name? Lynette Wagner What is your favorite memory of your mom? How she would pull into the driveway in her little convertible and carry every grocery bag out of the car in one trip. Walk in the front door and say, “hey sweetie.” What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? My dad took her fur coat that she was wearing the morning she was killed and had them made into earmuffs. He gave them to all the important women in her life, including my 9-month-old daughter that she never met. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588944879227-NZ88NPZLA4SJ21CRNIYL/Kelly+Cox.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Kelly | Fort Worth, TX What is your mom's name? Kathy Ravenew What is your favorite memory of her? Our conversations, we always talked about life, love, dreams and her illness. We knew she was sick, we knew she was going to die. We talked a lot, about so many things. What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I miss having her as a sounding board. She was my biggest fan, no matter what my dreams and I miss that. I miss hearing how proud she is and her suggestions on how to succeed. What do you wish people would ask you about your mom? I just want people to know that Mother’s Day is hard for those of us they don’t have a mom. I am a mom now myself and Mother’s Day for me even feels different or just “off.” What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? Consistently check in ❤️ https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588532192388-PE6WO1HSCA98A5LIUILE/Sharon+Curran.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Jeff | Los Angeles, CA What is your mom's name? Sharon What is your favorite memory of her? My favorite memory of my mom is how every time our family would get together, she'd always try to get us to take a family photo, but we'd always be having too much fun, and end up forgetting. Not always, but most of the time. What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? I miss her warmth, and how she always made time and space for everyone, not just me and my sister and father. She was there for everyone somehow, but especially for us. It was almost superhuman. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would ask me more about her. I want to talk about her, share stories of her, and reminisce about how much she meant to me. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? No. All questions about her and the loss are valid to me. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? I had so many people reach out, people I hadn't spoken to in a long time, people who only knew me through her. I realized after that, that even though someone may offer some trite saying, or invoke some belief of their own, it's just an attempt to show you that they cared for the person, and for you. It doesn't matter how or what they say even, just that they tried. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588873957060-ZKBPAIJF07K4PL1BORV3/Lauren%2BPerry.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Lauren | Toronto, Canada What is your mom's name? Jennifer Perry What is your favorite memory of your mom? One of my favourite memories of my mom was receiving supportive and funny text messages from her while I lived and traveled abroad. I told her about my recent adventure of scuba diving and her response to me was “You have done something I have never been able to do. Love Mom. You’re really living and that’s what it is all about – Love Mom.” I always found it funny how she signed off her text messages with Love Mom. Another favourite was telling her about a recent interview I had gone on and her response was “How did they leave it?” I told her that I’d probably know by EOD or tomorrow. She followed up with “what’s EOD?” I replied end of day. You don’t use that at work? Her reply: “I’m a dinosaur remember.” It made me laugh out loud that she didn’t know that term as she was a business woman and worked in the travel industry and they used acronyms for all sorts of things. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588897637909-I8QYRI4JGMT5QGAEATRV/Olivia+Seyfarth+copy.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Olivia | Michigan What is your mom's name? Stephanie Seyfarth What is your favorite memory of her? Too many favorites, but I loved reading with my Mama when I was little. Around age 6, she would read me a few chapters every night of books she read as a child. I hold those moments close to my heart. What do you miss (or not miss) about her? Especially in quarantine, I miss her creativity. I know she would have made this isolated time in our lives so much more enjoyable. She always had creative ideas for when we were bored. I miss her hugs and smile and laugh. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588357276320-7KCDFUTGP8YT7RWQNXHE/Liz+Stanfield.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Liz | Somerville, MA What is your mom's name? Lorraine Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? The months leading up to my mom's death were excruciating, and a lot of those memories are buried deep. I wish I had more opportunities to talk about them, because that is part of the healing process. Right before the quarantine, my table had a dinner where we talked about what the dying process was like for everyone, and I got to share my own experience. It was very cathartic to speak it aloud, and it made me wish this topic wasn't so taboo. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? One of my closest friends compiled a list of therapists in my area who were accepting new clients. Two and a half years later, I'm still seeing the same therapist and am beyond grateful for that act of kindness. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588625877068-P00V6VUSD4QOVEVM02SP/Katie+Tolbert.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Katie | Wilmington, NC What is your mom's name? Alice Marie Choma What is your favorite memory of her? Spending evenings at the beach with her. Our happiest times were spent sitting by the water, chatting and snacking. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? My mom was a petite, strong woman who remained jovial and endlessly optimistic. She endured a difficult childhood plagued by mental illness. She worked as a psych nurse in New York. She battled metastatic breast cancer with grace and determination. She taught my sister and I the simple joy and importance of liking yourself. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? After my mom passed, I had the daunting undertaking of cleaning out her house and preparing it to be sold. My husband cleaned the darkest and ickiest corners of her garage and shed. He was such a huge help to me during that process. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588798116802-122ZWPPTB8HJEB0UA7T2/Erica+Wells.png Mother's Day 2020 Erica | Astoria, NY What is your mom's name? Cynthia What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I honestly don’t remember personal conversations with her. I miss the opportunity to have them. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? Seeing as it’s now after midnight on May 5th, it’s officially her birthday! What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? I don’t remember much, but I can say that my father did and is still doing everything he can. He worked very hard and never missed anything in my life. Best man. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588798264170-2WU8WMU5VPVPOH9PUCOD/Ashley+Seeley.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Ashley | Brooklyn, NY What’s your mom’s name? Angela Is there anything you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? Mother's Day is hard... but you all know that already. Some years I get really down and feeling sorry for myself, some years I get really angry at all the people who still have mothers, some years I over compensate in my celebrations for the women in my life that are mothers... but they all feel equally shitty. Here's one thing that feels good - I still write my Mom out a Mother's Day card. I tell her what she's missed in the past year, I tell her how much I miss her, I tell her I planted my window boxes for her. It's just a small tradition that I do, but it feels like a nice way to connect with her still on a day that really was MADE for her. She was the best Mom. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588359451416-QP7SPBP0E3497SGH2U45/Vanessa+Cutler.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Vanessa | New York, NY What is your mom's name? Joyce What is your favorite memory of your mom? All of the laughs. Every single one of them. We laughed a lot. What do you miss (or not) about her? My mother was a sassy, smart and glamorous woman with a quirky sense of humor. Is there anything you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? Even though a parent’s death is an expected one, it doesn't make it any easier to grieve. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? My friend who had also lost her mother to breast cancer within the past decade made herself available all the time. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588703671376-WJUAWD9NPIUX1OL2UCMB/Joanna+Kennedy.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Joanna | San Francisco, CA What is your mom’s name? Helena What is your favorite memory of her? I have a lot of amazing memories of my mother, but one that still sticks out to me to this day actually stems from an argument. I’d come to visit for the weekend and just before I was leaving, we got into a tiff about something. I left frustrated and was short with my mom as I was leaving the house. I got on the road and called a friend about something unrelated. As we were chatting, missed calls started piling up from my mom. I finally realized she’d called several times and ended my phone call to call her back. She answered the phone and immediately started crying. She was concerned I was mad at her and expressed that she considered me to be her best friend and she felt horrible that we’d ended the weekend on a sour note. We made up and had a beautiful conversation after. I’d always considered my mom to be one of my best friends but it was beautiful to hear her tell me she felt the same way. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? It’s been 3 years so I feel like people don’t ask anything anymore. I wish new friends cared to know more about her. I wish I still had people checking on me like I used to right after she passed. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588873753878-UC5JWTYX2LA4IEECURS3/Yaritza%2BAbrego.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Yaritza | Washington, DC What is your mom’s name? Fidelia Hernandez What is your favorite memory of her? All my favorite memories of my mom have been centered around sharing and making food. My favorite is of us making tamales together for Christmas. What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I miss her calls, her perfect black beans and rice, her dancing, watching terrible telenovelas with her, I even miss her calling me out of my BS lol. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would stop being so afraid to say her name out loud or avoid the topic like it never happened. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? I think one of the best things was when friends let me just cry without feeling guilty. Somehow as a society we always feel the need to apologize for crying. I am forever thankful for the friends and strangers who let me feel without feeling like a burden. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588713520015-BONZGM37RP2K4KPMZPK7/Kendra+Rogers.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Kendra | London, UK What is your mom’s name? Laurie Hunn-Rogers What is your favorite memory of her? There are too many to count, but probably road trips in my home province of Alberta - just the two of us, singing along to Shania Twain & Celine Dion. I was fascinated by the old abandoned shacks in the farmers fields & we would make up stories about what might be inside them. One time she even pulled over on a side road & we went to investigate, though it ended up being further than we’d thought & we chickened out at the barbed wire fence beside the road. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I just wish people would ask about her more. It means the world when they do because I love sharing memories and stories about her - they help me keep her alive in my memories as those memories begin to fade, 4.5 years after her passing. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? A friend of mine took on the “admin” work I was too tired to do, of trying to track down some old CBC footage of her sharing with the camera her joy at being a part of the CIBC Run for the Cure. Devastatingly, they had deleted the footage and it’s lost (I think about it all the time) but taking that weight off my shoulders, and “getting it done” for me meant the world. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588804451944-H55EUFBBZACNEJJ8H1EU/Brittany+Sawyer.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Brittany | Washington, DC What is your mom’s name? Ruth What do you miss (or not miss) about her? When I talk about loss of my mom, I speak in both present and past tense. I lost the essence of the person she was to Lewy Body Dementia. She is still physically with us but not mentally. I’ve went through the grief process without closure. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I realize some people do not know how to respond, but I would prefer they not try to relate my loss to a distance relative with Alzheimer’s. It’s not the same. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? Friends helped in different ways, but one friend stands out. She was there for me when I received the devastating news, and her calm, level-headed advice was exactly what I needed at that moment in time. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588972623884-0K9WET7YEP7KAAVRH2GI/Xhris.PNG Mother's Day 2020 Xhris | Phoenix, AZ What is your mom’s name? Jeannie What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I honestly miss that I don’t get likes on my witty Facebook posts or comments asking me how my Chanukah was anymore. What is your favorite memory of them? I have so many memories, I can’t really pick a favorite one. However, I did really enjoy going to a concert with Cheap Trick, Heart, and Joan Jett and the Blackhearts within the last 5 years (picture above). What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? She was a kind and generous person, but I did not see or know this side of her. I heard from people who knew her in her art groups how she has helped others and how she always extended a helping hand, and hearing this helped me know that she was a different person than the limited side of her that I saw. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588972784669-7KUWQ2D6BAXA2YZ45984/Meghan.JPG Mother's Day 2020 Meghan | Carson, CA What is your mom’s name? Terri What is your favorite memory of them? My mom drove a "soccer mom van," loaded with snacks and drinks and entertainment. I miss long road trips with her. She always played great music and introduced me to The Dixie Chicks and Alanis Morissette! What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? My best friend bought me a bucket of fried chicken a few days after the funeral and he watched me sob into it. It was the nicest gesture I can remember someone doing for me right so soon after it all happened. He knew exactly what I needed. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would ask me more about my relationship with her, as opposed to what she was like. While it's nice to memorialize her as a person, what I'm really grieving is my relationship with her, and what could have been. I also wish people asked more about how I continue to honor her. Sunflowers were integrated into my wedding because sunflowers were her flower! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588875102068-QN3ATZGWGN5WNHWEZ791/Liny+John.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Liny | Washington, DC What is your mom's name? Lizy What is your favorite memory of your mom? Any time she would come home after work and let me help her cook in the kitchen (she was an amazing cook and an even more amazing nurse - she was my hero!) What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? I miss her smile - she had the best smile! :-) Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would talk to me more about my mom and ask me about her. She's still a huge part of my life even if she's not physically here anymore. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588897864490-UDNP5ZSV81RX760BR8TL/Hope%2BLane.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Hope | Columbus, OH What is your mom's name? Kathy What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Every time I would talk about my mom, whether it be a memory, a phrase she would use a lot, a song that reminded me of her, a game we used to play together etc. my husband was noting them in his phone and eventually compiled them all together and created an organized living document for me to add to indefinitely. It helps me to remember the small things while not having to stress about writing them down myself. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588638237777-NQUAPDLG3CV090E5V13E/Jill+Gonzalez.JPG Mother's Day 2020 Jill | South Jersey What is your mom’s name? Barbara Rothschild Is there anything you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? Whether it was the day after, or now almost two years later, I wish people would stop ask how I'm doing. I don't know how I'm doing! I'm just... doing things in a way that would make my mom proud. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? I love when other people bring my mom up. Whether it's something I say, or a mannerism I replicate, or a character on a show -- I love when someone says, "That reminds me of Babs." Sometimes I forget to allow myself to be reminded on my own, so that really helps. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588358046382-LUQAMYI90UVK7QRP1601/Kate+Naylor.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Kate | Los Angeles, CA What is your mom's name? Erin Hinojosa What is your favorite memory of your mom? I have so many! I think seeing her graduate to get her masters is one. She put in so much work going to school full time while also working full time and raising a family — not only were we so proud of her but she was proud of herself. And that showed so much to me — it taught me to not give up if there’s something I want bad enough to fight for it. What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? Besides her chocolate chip cookies? The random texts, calls or care packages in the mail just to let me know she was thinking about me. I think most of all though I miss her calling me “peanut” which was my nickname since I was a kid. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874759603-U2S7FTDDESR23ET13GW1/Emeli%2BGalvez.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Emeli | Glen Cove, NY What is your mom's name? Maria What is your favorite memory of your mom? There are so many! My favorite was when we were discussing about death. I asked her if she would protect me if she were to die. She responded “Always - I will always be there for you no matter what.” I start to cry because the connection was so strong! What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? I miss hugging her more than anything and the way we would lock eyes with each other and instantly connected. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588691243848-TK111Q0L49IAZ23VB0SI/Criselda+Magat.png Mother's Day 2020 Lily | Arizona What is your mom's name? Criselda (Curly) Magat What do you miss (or not miss) about her? Her laugh. My mom's laugh was LOUD and could fill up every corner of a room. And when she thought something was really funny, she laughed in a loop.....each round louder than the one before. You couldn't help but laugh along with her! We always used to joke that it was easy to find her at a party, you just had to follow the laughter. And I've discovered that when I think something is reeealllly funny, that same laugh comes out of me. Glimpses of her voice in my own, that same exact sound that tells me she's laughing too. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874711243-2MSVX0QECS6ZA0UR6ZOX/Joanna%2BHoffman.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Joanna | Brooklyn, NY What is your mom's name? Barbara Hoffman What is your favorite memory of your mom? When I would take the train down from NY, she would be waiting there on the platform and would be so excited to see me that she’d jump up and down. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? My friend who had also lost her mom has continued to check in, because she knew after the funeral people would start to assume I was “over it.” I don’t think I’ll ever be over it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588359200930-TP7VEFRUMU6MS0RRCS4Z/Mia+Foreman.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Mia | Los Angeles, CA What is your mom's name? Rene Is there anything you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? My mom never felt like a victim to cancer. She battled the disease off and on for over 40 years and you never got the sense that she felt sorry for herself. I know she must of been in a lot of emotional pain and I wish she would've shared that more with me but she felt she had to always be strong which wasn't the truth. I wish people would still ask me how I am doing. It hasn't even been a year since my mom's death and I rarely get asked that anymore. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588691272100-IYA5ZGQC8AH8MGHPGTWM/Theodore+Daley.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Theodore | New York, NY What is your mom's name? Patricia Daley What is your favorite memory of her? My favorite memory of my mom is her smile and horrible joke telling. She was a principal and really loved corny jokes. What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I miss her playful spirit: she was always the biggest kid in the room. She would play tag with people even in her 60s. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? I wish they would stop asking if I am ok or how am I holding up. I don't think anyone who has lost a loved one will be ok again. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Just were more present. In terms of the little things, tried to take me out for a bubble tea, just gave me a phone call to talk about random things, just tried to be a friend. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588532590247-U0UPMC5RORNRA4T450ZB/Ashlee+Kong.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Ashlee | Minneapolis, MN What is your mom's name? Jamie What is your favorite memory of your mom? Giggling at inside jokes. What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? Being able to call and talk when I was sad or to get advice. What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost her? My best friend asked if I wanted to me alone or with friends. I told her with friends so I could be distracted. She made plans with me every single day for two weeks after my mom passed to make sure I was distracted and with people that cared about me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588368265085-MFJHY42ND17A0PPWO5RB/Cat+Beer.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Cat | New York, NY What is your mom's name? Jennifer Beer What is your favorite memory of your mom? I was home alone in the fifth grade. Doing what fifth graders do – twiddle their thumbs and sneak some cookie dough. My mom called me on my pink razor flip phone. She said that she was just about home, but a new song was on the radio by Sean Kingston, and that I MUST turn it on. The radio, can you imagine? I mean the threat that we may NEVER hear the song again on MTV, iTunes, or Kiss FM was slim, but the urgency was evident. She wanted to groove. Our massive, top-notch radio was shoved behind a big armchair. Every time you wanted to turn the radio on you needed to use some girth to shove aside that chair; nevertheless, it was a moment urgent enough to warrant that move. I shoved the chair out of the way and turned the radio on loud, blasting the new song with curiosity. It was a moment where my mother acted as my friend, my pal, my gal. I remember equal parts confusion, amazement, excitement, wanting-the-moment-to-last-forever. I didn’t see this side of my mom often, where she let her mom-curtain down and her play costume on. Don’t get me wrong, she was the most FUN woman on the planet, but this felt like a peer-to-peer interaction, and I was only 12, just one year before she passed. She was a firecracker. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874604435-E82X557LCLM1Q23HI51B/Denise%2BSkidmore.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Denise | Whittier, CA What is your mom's name? Joanna Skidmore What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? I miss doing silly things to make her laugh. And when I say laugh, she would crack up!! We would be in tears from laughing so hard for things that really were not that funny. Her laugh was contagious and so heartwarming. What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom? Just simply reaching out and offering their love and friendship to you. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588371902435-RFZVPU9SNE70TY493Z3R/Heather+Roedl.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Heather | San Diego, CA What is your mom's name? Nancy What is your favorite memory of your mom? One year I, as a joke, told her I would not come home for my birthday unless there was a red carpet rolled out for me upon arrival. When I got home and opened the front door there was a red carpet, white lights, candles, strawberries and champagne all next to a life size cardboard cutout of PSY, the one-hit wonder (don't ask). She was so fun and always went out of her way to make things special for her kids. What do you miss (or not) about your mom? Aside from the obvious, her laugh, hugs and the comfort I felt being with her, I miss the confidence and reassurance she gave me. She was always so encouraging, it was like she was my # 1 fan, I could go to her with anything and tell her everything knowing she would give me the best advice and never with judgment. No one gives love like a mother does, and it's hard to go through life now without that guidance, no one can replace the feeling she gave me when I needed it. She was my best friend. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588372003635-PMAM2VYQAAM92K2EVUJW/Jeanette+Quinlan.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Jeanette | San Francisco, CA What is your mom's name? Bernadette Urbani What is your favorite memory of your mom? When I was 16, she and I ate leftover pizza for lunch on Thanksgiving before she drove 300 miles to my aunt's house and ate all of her traditional leftovers. We also made record time! What do you miss (or not) about your mom? Her love of foreign languages and travel. I wish I had learned more Spanish and Italian from her and could share my stories from France. Is there anything you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? She was tough, multi-talented, and loved her family. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? “What do you do to keep her memory alive?” Sometimes it's difficult to consciously do something, but she's always "there". What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Too many to name - and for that I am so thankful! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588897806110-WVOR4J8DX2499639XXO6/Amber%2BUsiak.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Amber | Gilbert, AZ What is your grandmother’s name? Dorothy (Napoo) Stevens What is your favorite memory of them? When we were kids, my brother and her would play this game we called “gotcha last,” and the object of the game was to hit/tap the other person and run away before that could hit you back. My grandma would always cheat and use the dish towel to get us with since we were quicker than her. What do you miss (or not miss) about them? I miss everything about her. She raised my younger brother and I when my parents bailed on us for drugs. She was the most amazing woman I have ever met. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588372649351-ACBH1V7CFHYW04ES4DHN/Victoria+Edelman.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Victoria | Jenkintown, PA What is your mom's name? Natalie Devlin What is your favorite memory of your mom? I will focus on one memory, when I think of my favorite I forget all memories. I remember when I was 10 we went to Ocean City, MD at the end of August for vacation. There was a hurricane coming, but my mom was determined to get our moneys worth. She has us go to the beach with our hats flying off our heads, sweatshirts on, and hair in our faces to pose for our summer picture What do you miss (or not) about your mom? I miss the sound of my mom’s voice. How it would go up an octave or two when she called for me in the house. She always called me “kiska,” which means kitty cat in Russian. I also miss having someone fiercely protective over me: someone who is watching out and loves me more than themselves at times. I lost my biggest cheerleader. Is there anything you wish people wouldn’t say? I wish people would stop trying to put a positive spin on things, like “aren’t you so happy you met your husband after such a tragic loss?” They don’t need to be lumped together. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588522634697-BGFFY2KZWGGRX09FHZKI/Evelyn+Kurpiewski.JPG Mother's Day 2020 Evelyn | Philadelphia, PA What is your mom's name? Cynthia What is your favorite memory of your mom? While my mom was going through chemotherapy, every Sunday I would wake up in the morning and move to my mom’s bed with our four dogs and snooze in the warm sunshine together, holding hands, petting dogs, petting her bald head, and listening to CBS Sunday Morning on the television. What do you miss (or not) about your mom? Her sense of humor and her advice on plant care and boys. Is there anything you wish people wouldn’t say? My mom died from lung cancer. I wish people wouldn’t ask, “Did she smoke?” and would understand that even though she did, briefly in the 70s, doesn’t mean that she deserved to die at 60. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588373122946-UTDHXPGGNRM6VUMFR9K9/Naomi+Edmondson.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Naomi | New York, NY What is your grandmother’s name? Evelyn Edmondson What is your favorite memory of your grandma? The last time I took her to lunch with my partner. We ate and laughed. She shared stories from my childhood. I hugged her so tight. What do you miss (or not) about her? I miss the simple pleasure of taking a long walk and giving her a call. Hearing her voice, listening to her give me advice. Her telling me everything would be ok. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would know that even though she was my grandmother, she was my mother. My grief is no less valid just because she wasn’t my birth mother. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874459757-E0LO0WKMJARKXS0KF16P/Cynthia%2BJohnson.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Christine | Louisville, KY What is your mom's name? Cynthia Johnson What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? I miss her sarcasm and sense of humor. I do not miss her drug addiction. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? “Why didn’t she just stop doing drugs?” What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Sat with me. No talking. Just sat. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874493155-U5AZVTLUXYC9EN4BO4CQ/Christie+Roark.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Christie | Lincoln, CA What is your mom's name? Ginny Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish my family and friends told stories about her more. I'm sure there are things I've never heard before. What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom? On the one year mark of my mom's passing, a friend sent me a beautiful gift. She bought a star and named it after my mom. A star just for her. It came with a celestial map so I could locate the star when I wanted to. To know someone remembered her and honored her in this way brought me to tears. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874518510-GBGFFXOZ5OX80UWGF6Y7/Sara%2BMcClory.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Sara | Clearwater, FL What is your mom's name? Ann What is your favorite memory of her? All our mother/daughter dates from when I was little until she was gone. Just her and I doing things we loved doing together. What do you miss (or not miss) about her? Just being able to talk to her. There was not a day that went by that I didn’t know how much she loved being a mother. I had heard it a million times, she loved being my Mom. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I love when people talk about her. People generally don’t bring her up, most likely for fear of upsetting me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874181906-KGSVPANOWG230Q7BVL9C/Jen%2BMiosi.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Jen | Independence, KY What is your mom's name? Linda Is there anything else that you wish people would ask? I wish people would ask me more about how I’ve had to manage and navigate life and new motherhood without her by my side. So many people see that I am surviving and still succeeding and I think assume I am not struggling, but just because I don’t outwardly show that this is HARD to get through without my mom, doesn’t mean it is easy. I wish people would simply ask more about her, more about how I’m doing, and care more about those of us who are young and experience these types of gaping losses. My mom was lost to a misdiagnosed heart attack (common in women) and I also wish people would ask more about that - be more open to understand what that looks like and how they could prevent the same from happening to them or their mothers/grandmothers/friends. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588523668725-CZMX2OJE66DCRY8GP6F3/Mari+Elia.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Mari | Toronto, Canada What is your mom's name? Tina What is your favorite memory of your mom? Her cooking. What do you miss (or not miss) about her? She was always there no matter what. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? She was a force to be reckoned with. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? “How are you doing?” What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Someone warned me you never get over it. It fills and then comes at you in waves. Ride the waves. That’s her loving you from afar. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874419780-QIFP6F9ZT0J114NT83OK/Sarah+Al-khayyal.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Sarah | Atlanta, GA What is your mom's name? Riccarda What is your favorite memory of her? Seeing her dancing at my brother’s wedding. I had never in my memory seen her dance like that, so carefree and happy. I don’t think I’d ever seen her dance at all, in fact. She looked so beautiful in her shimmery grey off the shoulder gown. What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I miss how she started off all phone calls and voicemails with, “hi Sarah, it’s mom.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874113772-JLTLISZQK4S6QEEQWHRW/Amanda%2BTchernotzkas.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Amanda | Brooklyn, NY What is your mom's name? Monica Wolff What do you miss (or not miss) about her? Her smile and her voice. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? It doesn’t get easier with time, you just get better at living with the loss over time. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? Let me know they are thinking of me on Mother’s Day. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588798042487-05IH7G312HLLIWKGJFHP/Cait+Vancise.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Cait | Canada What is your mom's name? Pam What is your favorite memory of your mom? The summer before she passed, we were shopping for makeup at Sephora (our favourite thing to do together) and I shared the news of my pregnancy with her. She didn’t get to meet my little boy, so I’m grateful for this memory. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? My mom was the most ferocious, loving mama. This first Mother’s Day without her will be devastating. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? Instead of asking how I was, a close friend would ask, “how is your grief today?” I felt like I could answer more honestly. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874151123-HNZ5H8450A23DQV1UDB4/Kate%2BDaniels.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Kate | San Diego, CA What is your mom's name? Ellen What is your favorite memory of her? Her laughing her head off while swimming in a pool at night time. True joy. What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? I miss everything about her. The way she’d always make me feel better without having to try. The way she walked. How excited she would get about certain art and artists. Her desire to keep it moving, always. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would ask what it’s like to miss your parents all the time. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Asked about her! Told me they missed her too. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874073797-XO4ZLE2L3GJ05K53A1AI/Elana%2BGoldenberg.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Elana | Overland Park, KS What is your mom's name? Missy What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I really miss sharing my accomplishments with my mom. She was always so proud of me (and my sisters), so not being able to celebrate those moments with her has been difficult. I have achieved so much this year (including my upcoming college graduation), but it's been bittersweet without her. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I've recently been thinking about how my mom earned her Master's in Special Education when I was in middle school. Now having friends in grad school, I can begin to understand the time, effort, and dedication necessary for her to achieve that, especially on top of being a teacher and a mom (and planning my Bat Mitzvah). I really admire her work ethic and determination. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588781043118-W5NGR47HYJQPDISZ5F78/Alisan+O%27Quinn.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Alisan | Hume, CA What is your mom's name? Susan What is your favorite memory of your mom? The last day I spent with her, I had moved 1,800 miles away seven months prior, and she and my dad made it out to visit me on a summer trip. It was the perfect day and I got to show my mom one of my favorite places. What do you miss about her? Hugs, talking on the phone, sharing my life. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? Anything and everything. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? No, I love to share. But after 1.5 years, people have stopped asking and listening. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? Wash my dishes, binge The Office, understand that doing small things felt impossible https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588528354559-RCO5P1SZNO6VKQ8FL17S/Lauren+Wozniak.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Lauren | Chicago, IL What is your mom's name? Nadine What is your favorite memory of your mom ? My mom’s laugh and sense of humor could fill a whole room. She was bright and bubbly and full of love and energy. One time in a clothing store, she was trying to embarrass myself and my siblings so she put underwear on her head and danced around. She was the goofiest. What do you miss about her? I miss her smile. Along with her laugh, that smile lit up a room as well. Her kind eyes and her beaming smile I miss every single day. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? How she died. My mom died by suicide and that answer is so hard to give. I’m okay sharing that info, but the anxiety that comes right before sharing big news can be difficult to navigate. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588528541493-RPMTD55UZJYL9CL9O5SA/Jessie+Spellman.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Jessie | New York, NY What is your mom's name? Kim Kuraner Spellman What is your favorite memory of her? I am at the point in my grief that thinking about my mother makes me grin from ear to ear, even though my eyes still water. My mom was always smiling, joyful, vibrant. She made everything, even her chemo, fun. As we sit in quarantine and I watch the numbers on my scale go up, my sister and I have been reminiscing about something my mom used to do that always made us laugh. Whether we just got back from freshman year of college, 15 (okay 25) pounds heavier, or we had been hitting the gym the hardest we’d ever have in our life, my mother always had the same response to my sister and my nagging questions “am I fat?” “how do I look?” “can I get away with this crop top?” To each version of the same question my mom would carefully look at me or my sister. Ask us to turn around and despite how we actually looked or how many times we asked the question, she’d say the same thing, “You look great. You’re gorgeous. Now, if you want to be perfect, I’d say lose three pounds.” https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588624360604-ZMYOACW27E43DJPBCLEE/Rachel+James.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Rachel | Kansas City, KS What is your mom's name? Kristine What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? I miss the unwavering support and love that (at least seems to me) can only come from a mother. I miss her investment in me and her interest in my little life, like her texts that just showed she was thinking about me. There are few people in life that care about you so purely. I miss her on every holiday, when one of the countless things come up that remind me of her, and it is nearly too painful to think about how much I will miss her for the big stuff - like my wedding or having my first child. I just can’t explain how badly I miss having her here to experience life (mine and hers)…I don’t miss watching her suffer from her heart condition. I don’t miss the helpless feeling that I, even as a cardiac nurse, can’t do anything to prevent her slow decline even though she had always cared for herself perfectly. I don’t miss the devastating pleas that she wishes she felt better or that she had more time with us. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588529294640-M5IMYQEX7T22AW8U2DLD/Jess+Vetrano.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Jess | Minneapolis, MN What is your mom's name? Gennean What is your favorite memory of your mom? Creating our dream paradises and telling each other about them in moments of fright, sadness, and pain. What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? Her smile, her hugs, her laugh, her pure and utter joy, the fun she brought to every situation, so basically everything. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would ask normal questions about my mom like they do with their own very alive parents, rather than simply pretending I don’t have one. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? Gave me honesty rather than pity, offered to spend time with me as I am rather than trying to fix my pain. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588531740406-U7ZCBOL6A1HZCTLEGPK6/Allison+Diamond.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Allison | Brooklyn, NY What is your mom's name? Ellen What do you miss (or not miss) about her? As I get older, I find that I grieve the opportunity we lost to develop our relationship. I was seven when my mom died, and I often wonder how we would have grown together — if we would have a relationship characterized by affection, trust, support, frustration. To miss her is to wrestle with the unknowable nature of what could have been. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? After my mom died, a community of women - many of whom were my friends’ mothers - made an enormous effort to welcome me into their families. Years later, I recognize that their generosity and kindness helped to create an environment in which I felt safe and loved following my mom’s death. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588529677647-IH2Q3UMCWA3BOZMULA2T/Debbie+Silverman.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Debbie | Brookline, MA What is your mom's name? Patti What is your favorite memory of your mom? We were so similar that for a while, we had a challenging relationship. But as I matured and grew up (and she let go more), we bonded over life’s big adventures - my first condo, my wedding, etc. I’m about to move to a new state and my partner and I just bought our first houses it’s hard not having her here for this big stuff. Mom and I had such similar taste that I knew I could go to her for the big stuff. And the little stuff. Everything I needed, she was there with advice (whether I asked for it or not). What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I took for granted our regular conversations; she wanted every little detail and I’d get annoyed having to relive it. But in the last 18 months, I let go and gave her what she wanted. And now, I’d give anything to tell her every detail of my every day. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588529938665-N2KEPT7CRSXBCDC9QF9M/Melissa+Vanderfluit.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Melissa | Calgary, Canada What’s your mom’s name? Doreen Baker What is your favorite memory of your mom? My favourite memory of my mom is calling her every day. It was something we both needed, one for me to check in on her and two for her to check in on me. What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I miss my mom's intelligence. She was a brilliant mind in a poorly made body. She was incredibly well-read and had an amazing way of words. She also had a way of helping you out with any problem whether she truly knew the answer or not. Is there anything you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would ask me these kinds of questions: “What was your favourite memory of them?" or "What do you miss about them?" I think people are scared it will make me upset, but it's quite the contrary. I'll probably cry like I am doing now, but it would make me truly happy that someone is genuinely interested in what a wonderful person she was. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588874013163-ZDC1QHID39Z2WVLX5POV/Melissa%2BBeDunnah.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Melissa | Lexington, NE What’s your mom’s name? Bea King What is your favorite memory of her? My favorite memory of my mom is going shopping with her as a teenager. She would buy me clothes and shoes, and afterward we would go eat pretzels or Chinese food in the mall. This was our bonding time together. Today, I’d give anything to go shopping with her again. What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I miss her baking. She always had some sort of yummy treat she had made for my dad or for us kids. I also miss calling and just talking to her on the phone. She always had everything figured out, always had a plan, and always had advice to give me when I needed it. What's something helpful that someone did for you after you lost your mom? A cousin had a photo of my mom 3D-printed for us. It’s one of my favorite pictures of her. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588530410587-JTQXJ44OYVMU8TVQW86X/Mackenzie+Alleman.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Mackenzie | Philadeliphia, PA What is your mom's name? Melissa Fenchak What do you miss (or not) about her? I miss having that go to person. I could vent to her about anything without judgement or over reaction. She let me feel my feelings and then talked with me about them. I miss her support. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would simply ask about her. The further out we get from the day we lost her, the less people talk about her. I try to do my best, but the reactions when I do bring her up are often uncomfortable. I just want to share the amazing human she was sometimes, no sympathy strings attached! What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? I had a friend who simply always checked in. Even when I wouldn’t respond for days on end, she would still send a good morning or good night text. She was the first person I went to when I was ready to step out and do something semi normal.. like lunch. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588530595712-64UKNGO5K48NQ70IDG62/Paige+Erickson.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Paige | Detroit, MI What is your mom's name? Sally Erickson What is your favorite memory of your mom? One particular memory is near impossible. But one thing I miss the most about her is how unconditional support and encouragement. She encouraged the smallest victories in my life, making me feel better about even the smallest of accomplishments. She followed up with me after any sort of project, exam, meaningful day, or just anything that I shared with her she always remembered to bring it up once it happened and to ask about how it went. She made me feel heard, important and loved even in my darkest of moments. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? I never really liked the question "how are you" beforehand. But now I hate it even more. I guess hate is a strong word but I want to respond to people "how the fuck do you think I am, people???" I wish there were other, more specific questions one could ask that address a similar area. I typically just resort to responding "alright." https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588873849905-JR6ASFDTKIN7D4PS7BJA/Samantha%2BDavis.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Samantha | San Francisco, CA What is your mom's name? Louisa Davis What do you miss (or not miss) about them? Everything. Her laugh, the way her keys jingled in a super market, the way ice clinked in her glass. Never having to search for conversation. Being able to say "Good morning, Mama!" and hearing "What's new in the daily news?" back. Making up songs together. How sharp, clever, and witty she was. Being able to decompress and knowing she was there to talk to about everything, in a language that made sense. Hearing her footsteps in the kitchen. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588873875566-O5ASDBX8Q6ZE78UMH51A/SueSehr-1.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Megan | Des Moines, IA What is your mom's name? Sue or ‘Suey’ Sehr What is your favorite memory of your mom? My mom was an artist. She never gave herself that much credit, but she was. Wherever my parents lived, she had an art studio where she would work. Dyeing fabric, sewing, painting, beadwork - you name it, she did it. I loved to go into her art studio, lie on the floor, and spend time talking to her about all kinds of things. Sometimes, she would be watching a documentary or a movie on Lifetime, and we would watch those together. She loved showing me the art she was creating, and I loved being able to be in that space with her. The photo I shared is from 3 months before she passed away. She had already started her chemo treatment for a Stage 4 cancer, and she wasn't sure she was going to be able to go to an art class on fabric dyeing that she had been looking forward to attending. Well, she got to go, and she was so happy. She shared all of the things she learned and created with me when she got home. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588873813107-NAZF9UKXP3CPWP71OJ4O/Natalie%2BGallucci.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Natalie | Fairfield, CT What is your mom's name? Lynette Wagner What is your favorite memory of your mom? How she would pull into the driveway in her little convertible and carry every grocery bag out of the car in one trip. Walk in the front door and say, “hey sweetie.” What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? My dad took her fur coat that she was wearing the morning she was killed and had them made into earmuffs. He gave them to all the important women in her life, including my 9-month-old daughter that she never met. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588944879227-NZ88NPZLA4SJ21CRNIYL/Kelly+Cox.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Kelly | Fort Worth, TX What is your mom's name? Kathy Ravenew What is your favorite memory of her? Our conversations, we always talked about life, love, dreams and her illness. We knew she was sick, we knew she was going to die. We talked a lot, about so many things. What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I miss having her as a sounding board. She was my biggest fan, no matter what my dreams and I miss that. I miss hearing how proud she is and her suggestions on how to succeed. What do you wish people would ask you about your mom? I just want people to know that Mother’s Day is hard for those of us they don’t have a mom. I am a mom now myself and Mother’s Day for me even feels different or just “off.” What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? Consistently check in ❤️ https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588532192388-PE6WO1HSCA98A5LIUILE/Sharon+Curran.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Jeff | Los Angeles, CA What is your mom's name? Sharon What is your favorite memory of her? My favorite memory of my mom is how every time our family would get together, she'd always try to get us to take a family photo, but we'd always be having too much fun, and end up forgetting. Not always, but most of the time. What do you miss (or not miss) about your mom? I miss her warmth, and how she always made time and space for everyone, not just me and my sister and father. She was there for everyone somehow, but especially for us. It was almost superhuman. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would ask me more about her. I want to talk about her, share stories of her, and reminisce about how much she meant to me. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? No. All questions about her and the loss are valid to me. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? I had so many people reach out, people I hadn't spoken to in a long time, people who only knew me through her. I realized after that, that even though someone may offer some trite saying, or invoke some belief of their own, it's just an attempt to show you that they cared for the person, and for you. It doesn't matter how or what they say even, just that they tried. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588873957060-ZKBPAIJF07K4PL1BORV3/Lauren%2BPerry.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Lauren | Toronto, Canada What is your mom's name? Jennifer Perry What is your favorite memory of your mom? One of my favourite memories of my mom was receiving supportive and funny text messages from her while I lived and traveled abroad. I told her about my recent adventure of scuba diving and her response to me was “You have done something I have never been able to do. Love Mom. You’re really living and that’s what it is all about – Love Mom.” I always found it funny how she signed off her text messages with Love Mom. Another favourite was telling her about a recent interview I had gone on and her response was “How did they leave it?” I told her that I’d probably know by EOD or tomorrow. She followed up with “what’s EOD?” I replied end of day. You don’t use that at work? Her reply: “I’m a dinosaur remember.” It made me laugh out loud that she didn’t know that term as she was a business woman and worked in the travel industry and they used acronyms for all sorts of things. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588897637909-I8QYRI4JGMT5QGAEATRV/Olivia+Seyfarth+copy.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Olivia | Michigan What is your mom's name? Stephanie Seyfarth What is your favorite memory of her? Too many favorites, but I loved reading with my Mama when I was little. Around age 6, she would read me a few chapters every night of books she read as a child. I hold those moments close to my heart. What do you miss (or not miss) about her? Especially in quarantine, I miss her creativity. I know she would have made this isolated time in our lives so much more enjoyable. She always had creative ideas for when we were bored. I miss her hugs and smile and laugh. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588357276320-7KCDFUTGP8YT7RWQNXHE/Liz+Stanfield.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Liz | Somerville, MA What is your mom's name? Lorraine Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? The months leading up to my mom's death were excruciating, and a lot of those memories are buried deep. I wish I had more opportunities to talk about them, because that is part of the healing process. Right before the quarantine, my table had a dinner where we talked about what the dying process was like for everyone, and I got to share my own experience. It was very cathartic to speak it aloud, and it made me wish this topic wasn't so taboo. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost them? One of my closest friends compiled a list of therapists in my area who were accepting new clients. Two and a half years later, I'm still seeing the same therapist and am beyond grateful for that act of kindness. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588625877068-P00V6VUSD4QOVEVM02SP/Katie+Tolbert.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Katie | Wilmington, NC What is your mom's name? Alice Marie Choma What is your favorite memory of her? Spending evenings at the beach with her. Our happiest times were spent sitting by the water, chatting and snacking. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? My mom was a petite, strong woman who remained jovial and endlessly optimistic. She endured a difficult childhood plagued by mental illness. She worked as a psych nurse in New York. She battled metastatic breast cancer with grace and determination. She taught my sister and I the simple joy and importance of liking yourself. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? After my mom passed, I had the daunting undertaking of cleaning out her house and preparing it to be sold. My husband cleaned the darkest and ickiest corners of her garage and shed. He was such a huge help to me during that process. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588798116802-122ZWPPTB8HJEB0UA7T2/Erica+Wells.png Mother's Day 2020 Erica | Astoria, NY What is your mom's name? Cynthia What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I honestly don’t remember personal conversations with her. I miss the opportunity to have them. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? Seeing as it’s now after midnight on May 5th, it’s officially her birthday! What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? I don’t remember much, but I can say that my father did and is still doing everything he can. He worked very hard and never missed anything in my life. Best man. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588798264170-2WU8WMU5VPVPOH9PUCOD/Ashley+Seeley.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Ashley | Brooklyn, NY What’s your mom’s name? Angela Is there anything you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? Mother's Day is hard... but you all know that already. Some years I get really down and feeling sorry for myself, some years I get really angry at all the people who still have mothers, some years I over compensate in my celebrations for the women in my life that are mothers... but they all feel equally shitty. Here's one thing that feels good - I still write my Mom out a Mother's Day card. I tell her what she's missed in the past year, I tell her how much I miss her, I tell her I planted my window boxes for her. It's just a small tradition that I do, but it feels like a nice way to connect with her still on a day that really was MADE for her. She was the best Mom. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588359451416-QP7SPBP0E3497SGH2U45/Vanessa+Cutler.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Vanessa | New York, NY What is your mom's name? Joyce What is your favorite memory of your mom? All of the laughs. Every single one of them. We laughed a lot. What do you miss (or not) about her? My mother was a sassy, smart and glamorous woman with a quirky sense of humor. Is there anything you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? Even though a parent’s death is an expected one, it doesn't make it any easier to grieve. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? My friend who had also lost her mother to breast cancer within the past decade made herself available all the time. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588703671376-WJUAWD9NPIUX1OL2UCMB/Joanna+Kennedy.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Joanna | San Francisco, CA What is your mom’s name? Helena What is your favorite memory of her? I have a lot of amazing memories of my mother, but one that still sticks out to me to this day actually stems from an argument. I’d come to visit for the weekend and just before I was leaving, we got into a tiff about something. I left frustrated and was short with my mom as I was leaving the house. I got on the road and called a friend about something unrelated. As we were chatting, missed calls started piling up from my mom. I finally realized she’d called several times and ended my phone call to call her back. She answered the phone and immediately started crying. She was concerned I was mad at her and expressed that she considered me to be her best friend and she felt horrible that we’d ended the weekend on a sour note. We made up and had a beautiful conversation after. I’d always considered my mom to be one of my best friends but it was beautiful to hear her tell me she felt the same way. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? It’s been 3 years so I feel like people don’t ask anything anymore. I wish new friends cared to know more about her. I wish I still had people checking on me like I used to right after she passed. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588873753878-UC5JWTYX2LA4IEECURS3/Yaritza%2BAbrego.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Yaritza | Washington, DC What is your mom’s name? Fidelia Hernandez What is your favorite memory of her? All my favorite memories of my mom have been centered around sharing and making food. My favorite is of us making tamales together for Christmas. What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I miss her calls, her perfect black beans and rice, her dancing, watching terrible telenovelas with her, I even miss her calling me out of my BS lol. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would stop being so afraid to say her name out loud or avoid the topic like it never happened. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? I think one of the best things was when friends let me just cry without feeling guilty. Somehow as a society we always feel the need to apologize for crying. I am forever thankful for the friends and strangers who let me feel without feeling like a burden. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588713520015-BONZGM37RP2K4KPMZPK7/Kendra+Rogers.jpeg Mother's Day 2020 Kendra | London, UK What is your mom’s name? Laurie Hunn-Rogers What is your favorite memory of her? There are too many to count, but probably road trips in my home province of Alberta - just the two of us, singing along to Shania Twain & Celine Dion. I was fascinated by the old abandoned shacks in the farmers fields & we would make up stories about what might be inside them. One time she even pulled over on a side road & we went to investigate, though it ended up being further than we’d thought & we chickened out at the barbed wire fence beside the road. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I just wish people would ask about her more. It means the world when they do because I love sharing memories and stories about her - they help me keep her alive in my memories as those memories begin to fade, 4.5 years after her passing. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? A friend of mine took on the “admin” work I was too tired to do, of trying to track down some old CBC footage of her sharing with the camera her joy at being a part of the CIBC Run for the Cure. Devastatingly, they had deleted the footage and it’s lost (I think about it all the time) but taking that weight off my shoulders, and “getting it done” for me meant the world. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588804451944-H55EUFBBZACNEJJ8H1EU/Brittany+Sawyer.jpg Mother's Day 2020 Brittany | Washington, DC What is your mom’s name? Ruth What do you miss (or not miss) about her? When I talk about loss of my mom, I speak in both present and past tense. I lost the essence of the person she was to Lewy Body Dementia. She is still physically with us but not mentally. I’ve went through the grief process without closure. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I realize some people do not know how to respond, but I would prefer they not try to relate my loss to a distance relative with Alzheimer’s. It’s not the same. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? Friends helped in different ways, but one friend stands out. She was there for me when I received the devastating news, and her calm, level-headed advice was exactly what I needed at that moment in time. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588972623884-0K9WET7YEP7KAAVRH2GI/Xhris.PNG Mother's Day 2020 Xhris | Phoenix, AZ What is your mom’s name? Jeannie What do you miss (or not miss) about her? I honestly miss that I don’t get likes on my witty Facebook posts or comments asking me how my Chanukah was anymore. What is your favorite memory of them? I have so many memories, I can’t really pick a favorite one. However, I did really enjoy going to a concert with Cheap Trick, Heart, and Joan Jett and the Blackhearts within the last 5 years (picture above). What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? She was a kind and generous person, but I did not see or know this side of her. I heard from people who knew her in her art groups how she has helped others and how she always extended a helping hand, and hearing this helped me know that she was a different person than the limited side of her that I saw. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1588972784669-7KUWQ2D6BAXA2YZ45984/Meghan.JPG Mother's Day 2020 Meghan | Carson, CA What is your mom’s name? Terri What is your favorite memory of them? My mom drove a "soccer mom van," loaded with snacks and drinks and entertainment. I miss long road trips with her. She always played great music and introduced me to The Dixie Chicks and Alanis Morissette! What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost her? My best friend bought me a bucket of fried chicken a few days after the funeral and he watched me sob into it. It was the nicest gesture I can remember someone doing for me right so soon after it all happened. He knew exactly what I needed. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would ask me more about my relationship with her, as opposed to what she was like. While it's nice to memorialize her as a person, what I'm really grieving is my relationship with her, and what could have been. I also wish people asked more about how I continue to honor her. Sunflowers were integrated into my wedding because sunflowers were her flower! https://www.thedinnerparty.org/fathersday2020 daily 0.75 2025-08-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592531003332-L3S9UT0XR8B1U75DMW23/Emily%2BSmith%2B2.jpg Father's Day 2020 Emily | Fairfax, VA What is your dad’s name? Mark What do you miss about your dad? I miss his burning desire to help people and how he never saw disability as a bad thing--even though he had his own challenges with his disability, he made it his mission to help others too, whether by gifting them free wheelchair parts or by telling a funny joke to lift their spirits. Years before he passed, he used to say that he would have a chair waiting for him in heaven, because his chair was his legs. What else do you wish to share about your dad? My father was an incredible disability advocate, who ran a very popular message forum for wheelchair users to ask questions and connect, on top of running a blog about disability and life. He was a prolific writer, who helped me realize that writing down words can help us long after someone is gone. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592533936089-WGVZOBPJPSDZI226EH84/Joanne%2BBriones.jpg Father's Day 2020 Joanne | Potomac, MD What is your dad’s name? Joe Beltrano What’s your favorite memory of your dad? He wasn't the best driver. He always got into minor fender benders and had his share of speeding tickets. When we were living in DC, he sheepishly called to tell us he was in the city and that he had got a flat, so we rushed over to where he was to make sure he was okay. As soon as we got there he confessed that he hit a curb, which popped his tire. He was never one to admit when he was at fault, but it was fun to hang out and laugh (at his expense!) until the tow truck arrived. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost him? A little while after my dad died, a friend dropped off some frozen meals. There are always a ton of people around during the funeral/burial, and the numbers usually decline after that so this gesture to show that she cared in the months that followed was much appreciated! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1591910245564-SWF20GYGRN2YIZMFW185/Adrienne%25252BRoss%25252B1.jpg Father's Day 2020 Adrienne | Medway, MA What is your dad’s name? Joel Osborne What is your favorite memory of your dad? When I was younger, he would rewrite the lyrics to songs to make us laugh. He wrote one about my dog to the tune of an Elton John song; one about burgers and shakes instead of “spiders and snakes”, and even one about our mailman! What do you miss about him? The simple times. He was sick for years and in a nursing home for the last 4 years of his life due to his early onset Alzheimer’s diagnosis. I miss my weekly visits to him. He wasn’t able to communicate at the end and I’m not even sure if he knew we were there or understood it, but I cherished those visits so much. I really miss those simple visits. What’s something helpful you did for yourself after you lost him? Wrote! I wrote a lot. About him, about our memories, about how his disease changed the entire course of my life. I have shared it publicly too and would love to have it published somewhere someday. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1591910317082-WTQ8Z758ZHWFBJA9MW01/Samuel+Gradess.PNG Father's Day 2020 Samuel | Brooklyn, NY What is your dad’s name? Jonathan Gradess What do you miss about him? My Dad was a public defender and one thing I grew to love as I was navigating my 20s was his rational, level-headed thinking and ability to argue from multiple perspectives. It pushed me to be prepared for so many circumstances personally and professionally. At the same time, he was a hardcore goofball. On his birthday, just a few weeks before he developed symptoms that would later be diagnosed as stage 4 pancreatic cancer, he was doing a birthday speech that sounded exactly like John Lennon. That was who he was - brilliant and hilarious. What else would you like to share about him? I am grateful I got to spend his final weeks with him. He was very comfortable with death because he had led a spiritual life that didn't limit his faith in others, and he truly believed that he saw God in everyone. He was the most progressive person I have ever known, and he championed the most disenfranchised of us all. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592534336205-58ODSKKBN48V2DH8LMC4/Sydney%2BKobell.jpg Father's Day 2020 Sydney | Los Angeles, CA What is your stepdad’s name? Robert What’s your favorite memory of him? Finally seeing Metallica in concert together. What do you miss about him? I miss the way he supported me and listened to me. He always gave me the best life advice and cheered me on in everything I did. I miss listening to music, watching Shark Tank, and trying new foods together. Is there anything you wish people would ask you? I appreciate when people ask me how my mom is feeling, but I wish they would ask how I am feeling too, especially on holidays. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost him? My co-worker who had lost her brother a year before came over to my apartment to comfort me on the night of my loss. She helped me process the immediate shock. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592192833664-NDVZO1SHBLQ0UD1YCHQH/Heather%2BPiedrahita.jpg Father's Day 2020 Heather | San Diego, CA What is your husband’s name? Steven Piedrahita What do you miss about him? Right now I'm missing watching Steven be a dad to our boys. He loved them so fiercely and it's not lost on me that he's not here to be celebrated on Father's Day. He would love the way our oldest is learning to read and the fact that the youngest loves to wear hats just like his Papa. I hope he's watching and smiling at all these little moments. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost him? Checked in regularly. It was a simple text just about every day but it made a huge difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592193099838-TJ6TEL8IDL2ZBG1WB133/Jeanette%2BQuinlan.jpg Father's Day 2020 Jeanette | San Francisco, CA What is your dad’s name? Albert Neri, Jr What’s your favorite memory of your dad? College freshman year, parents’ weekend - he ate a footlong meatball sub in the cafeteria for dinner, took a nap on the floor of my dorm room, and took me to a Bill Cosby comedy show. This was about a month after 9/11. What do you miss about your dad? I miss talking politics and current events with him. I constantly find myself asking what he would have to say or write about the current political climate. Is there anything else you'd like to share? I constantly see him in me - my personality, my humor is so much of my dad's. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? His Celebration of Life service was the closing we all needed after a long journey. I was honored to be able to share my stories of him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592531368236-3OZXK58RWZF1K3IKIATK/Sarah%252BJane%252BBunner.jpg Father's Day 2020 Sarah Jane | Indianapolis, IN What is your dad’s name? Skipper Bunner What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I do miss his adventurous spirit. My dad made an adventure out of everything. I do not miss his temper, or the unhealed wounds which caused him to sometimes be unkind. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? Other members of the Dead Dad club came out of the woodwork to offer me love. I will honestly never forget them. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would ask me where my dad still shows up in my life. I feel him when I am swimming, exploring, or when I do something that brings me joy and that other people in my life don't completely understand. When he tapped into his compassion and humor, he understood me like nobody else can. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592534026077-RU6FU7HAFK0FYFRT7D3B/Anna%2BDempsey.jpg Father's Day 2020 Anna | London, UK What is your dad’s name? David Dempsey What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My Dad was the absolute best at showing up for people. For me, it was the airport pick up. He'd be there an hour early, park the car and come insde just so his face would be the first thing I saw after landing. He wasn't late, not once. What do you miss about your dad? I miss hearing him tell me that he's proud of me, and that he loves me. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish they'd ask me what I miss about him or what it was like to be his daughter. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? On the day of my Dad's funeral a friend who couldn't make it sent my family a dozen brownies. They literally tasted like healing and hugs, all of the good stuff. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592195806062-SIN8LBJBX47D8WQ2TNIP/Nicole%2BGarcia%2B2.jpg Father's Day 2020 Nicole | Los Angeles, CA What is your dad’s name? Eusebio (Joe) What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My parents were in town for my birthday one year and we went to Malibu Wines. A motorcycle crash happened right down the street and as soon as we heard the crash, without hesitation, my dad ran out to help. We have a lot of stories about my dad helping people out. That's just who he was. He cared about anyone and everyone and was always willing to lend a hand. What do you miss about your dad? I miss his laugh. It was loud (and sometimes obnoxious) and full of life. It lit up a room wherever he went. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? Not so much ask as saying, "He's in a better place" or, "Well, at least he's no longer in pain." I know they mean well, but it doesn't make it hurt any less and diminishes the loss. Is there anything else you'd like to share? Everyone grieves differently. While I understood this before my dad died, it didn't really click until I was navigating this with the rest of my family. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592534082474-WISL0XR6PTNPVD87K5RS/Christine%252BBarrett.jpg Father's Day 2020 Christine | Atlanta, GA What is your dad’s name? Mike What do you miss about your dad? I miss the way my dad took an active interest in anything I cared about. Even if we never talked about what the thing was. For instance, if he saw me tweet about a singer I liked, he'd send me articles about them, or text me if he saw them on a late show. Even if he thought I’d probably already seen it, just to chat about something I liked. Is there anything you wish people would ask about him? I wish people would ask literally anything! I think people assume that it's too painful to talk about my dad when the reality is that I'm bursting with stories and memories I want to share. But I feel like it's a conversation killer when I bring it up, or it makes people feel uncomfortable if they're not prepared, so letting someone else open the conversation when they're ready to hear it helps. I want people to ask about the kind of person he was and the life he lived up until he died. I want people to ask how he died, and about how I found out he'd died. That was the worst day of my life but it's such a release to talk about. His final days also paint such a great picture of his life, and I very much want to share that story. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592531484834-VGT9NASI8FMTWAFT30BU/Madison%2BThomas.jpg Father's Day 2020 Madison | Salt Lake City, UT What is your dad’s name? Chris Thomas What’s your favorite memory of your dad? When I was a kid, my parents took my brother and I on a trip to Yellowstone. My dad was a huge nature nerd so he made it a priority to show us as much wildlife as possible. I was really interested in wolves, so he promised he would try to find some for us to look at. At one point in the trip, we ended up behind one of the ranger vehicles with a huge antenna for tracking animals. We followed it into Lamar Valley and got to watch an entire pack of wolves! One of the wolves was jet black with a limp and later made the news for trying to cross into Utah. I loved watching the wolves with my dad so much that I got a tattoo to commemorate it after he died. Is there anything else you wish to share? I want to share about my dad’s endless humor even during the awful circumstances he had to face during cancer. He always had a joke or something sweet to say, even when he was going through hell. I miss him every single day because of the huge positive light he was in my life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592534407185-XEZT1C58QA7X147TQWPO/Solara%252BCalderon.jpg Father's Day 2020 Solara | San Diego, CA What is your dad’s name? Jack What do you miss about your dad? I miss how special my dad made me feel. I knew how much he loved me just by everything he did. As a kid at sleep away summer camp, he used to send me letters where he had beautifully painted or drawn my name on the front envelope. I'll never forget what it felt like to be someone's favorite person, and I will always miss that feeling. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? I wish people wouldn't immediately ask how old he was when he died because invariably the next comment is, "Wow, he was old!" That never makes me feel good, because it doesn't matter to me that he was an older dad. He was still just my dad and I still wish he had had longer to live. Instead, I’d truly love if others asked me about his personality, his hobbies, my favorite memories of him, what he did for work, what kind of food he liked, where he grew up, what his childhood was like, what he valued most in life... absolutely anything! When others push past the completely understandable discomfort and ask me about my dad, it means the world to me! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592194230390-BKIIDQH1VPGQZ9G3420X/Liz+Emmett.png Father's Day 2020 Liz | Chesapeake, VA What is your dad’s name? Robert Flaherty What’s your favorite memory of your dad? I was 6 and visiting family in NYC. My Dad woke me up and he and I went to a nearby deli and had breakfast together. He let me order whatever I wanted and we sat at the counter and ate together. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss being able to talk to him. It turns out that my Dad was one of my best friends and I confided in him a lot. We talked almost every single day. In the final years of his life, we would go to 7-11 every day and drink coffee together, and I miss that time together. My Dad taught me so much about what it meant to be a good person. He wasn't perfect, but he taught me that it was okay to not be perfect. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? My friends let me talk about him whenever I want and are present in my grief, without needing to try and "fix" it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592194847728-6M8DTOB328Z70ZT05H7N/Stephanie+Carroll.jpeg Father's Day 2020 Stephanie | Cleveland, OH What is your dad’s name? Richard Greene What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My favorite memory is more of a weekly tradition we had in my family. Growing up, we celebrated Shabbat every Friday. We would all stay home for the evening, my grandmother included. Those nights were a huge source of comfort and love. That love was demonstrated through the food, the jokes, and most importantly for my dad, the dessert. What do you miss about your dad? I miss everything about him but mostly his hugs, his sense of humor, and the endless love for his family. Is there anything else you wish people would ask? People don't really talk about him anymore. I wish they would. He lives on in my head and in my heart and my thoughts are constantly about him. It helps me keep his memory and his legacy alive. I wish others would ask about him, talk about him, share stories... that way I wouldn't feel so alone. I constantly try to teach my kids about him, and I look for signs of him in my kids. I see my dad in the way my son gets this glimmer in his eye before he does something against the rules; I see him in my daughter's caring heart. They are his legacy. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592531752198-9Z01NK9JBYWDZMMVE5T9/Tiffany%252BYu.jpg Father's Day 2020 Tiffany | San Francisco, CA What is your dad’s name? Stanley Yu What do you miss about your dad? I love the way my dad moved about the world. He really didn't care what anyone thought. I have this memory of being at Price Club where he grabbed leftover cookies from the tasting station and started eating them and sharing them with me. Everyone around us was judging and making comments and I remember feeling embarrassed but he didn't care. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? People tend to be overly interested in the details of how the death happened. It seems odd to me that the "ending" of a person's life would be the most interesting thing to talk about. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? I joined The Dinner Party 22 years after my dad died. That was when I was ready. It has been beautiful to be able to root myself in community in this way. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592534717168-C0EKJKXL8BSTVTIQZKFK/Emily%2BGilfillan.jpg Father's Day 2020 Emily | Kissimmee, FL What is your dad’s name? Donald Gilfillan What do you miss about your dad? Watching TV with him. That was our thing, we could sit there and watch TV and laugh and talk about what was going on. Is there anything else you wish people would ask? What was he proud of or what did he like? He was proud of his family and he liked to laugh. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? Friends from out of town sent an edible arrangement. It seems cheesy but I wasn't expecting it and it was a way for them to show their love even though they were hundreds of miles away. What does this photo say about your dad? The photo is of him in 2009 on a visit to Mount Vernon. He loved history (something he passed on to me) and wanted to touch a tree that was around when George Washington was. I want to share with others his love of history and how he tried to connect with it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592195350843-PPTQPPXCSN1HIGBDSSLM/Melissa+Reohr.jpg Father's Day 2020 Melissa | Boston, MA What is your dad’s name? David What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Going to the beach in Maine every summer. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss his lectures to me about business and finance. I don't miss his drinking and relationship with alcohol. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost him? My mom found letters that my Dad had written me while I was at summer camp and she helped me compile them together in a book. Is there anything else you would like to share? Before joining The Dinner Party, I had difficulty talking openly about my dad's death. When people ask about my dad and his death, I never quite know what to say. I often have trouble explaining that losing my dad provided me with very mixed feelings -- I miss having him in my life as my father, but I don't miss the unpredictability of his drinking and its effect on me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592534616698-M68KYQVUQI0C682RX35P/Kate%2BNaylor.jpg Father's Day 2020 Kate | Los Angeles, CA What is your dad’s name? Larry Hinojosa What do you miss about your dad? My dad was the king of kindness. He was constantly working on something for someone else - be it a car, building a fence or tinkering with someone’s electronics. I miss being around that selfless energy, a person who was constantly putting others first. It’s a rare trait these days and I try my best to be like him every day. Is there anything else you you'd like to share? When I tell people my dad died by suicide they instantly ask, “Didn’t you see the signs?” I want people to know that oftentimes, the signs are silent. They can be hidden well and masked with humor, shadowed by always putting others first — it’s a common concept where the depressed person tries to make others happy, because they know what it’s like to be sad. So no, we didn’t see the signs. But now we know what to look for, the importance of checking in on everyone (those who don’t look like they need help often need it the most), and to love fiercely because our time here can be short. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592531410140-W6463F85VYRAY7I7P61Q/Kelli%252BPierce.jpg Father's Day 2020 Kelli | Michigan What is your dad’s name? William "Terry" Pierce What do you miss about your dad? Truly, everything; his laugh, his smile, his kindness - the way he always had an answer for everything, along with the best, candid advice. He was my person, and I miss having "my person" here with me. He always knew what to say and was always on my team. He was the only person who could ever instantly make me feel better when I was feeling down, and I often feel so alone without him. Is there anything else you would like to share about him? My dad never complained once about his cancer diagnosis. He said that if all of this happened just so he could show kindness and love to others in the midst of something horrible, he was okay with that. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? Not something they ask, but I wish people would stop telling me that losing a parent is their biggest fear and that they don't know how I do it. It was my biggest fear as well, and it happened. I don't know how I "do it" either. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592534914227-UTC0PL9TENQ7E9P86KQC/Shalini%2BRay.jpg Father's Day 2020 Shalini | Boston, MA What is your dad’s name? Dr. Sisir K. Ray (my Baba) What’s your favorite memory of him? I have many, but a few come to mind. I'll share the last New Years I celebrated with him. Our family friends always threw a huge party every year, and all the parents would start a dance party with disco ball and all. I remember going downstairs with my friends to laugh at our parents and just seeing my dad on the dance floor dancing in the middle. Being a dancer myself, in no way was he a good dancer, but he was having the time of his life and was never embarrassed to do anything. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? My dad was SO good at everything he put his mind to: he was a star athlete, phenomenal cook, had a green thumb, and he could literally figure out any problem you gave him. He was a living example of being able to pursue anything and everything I wanted, that everything could be done if I put my mind to it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592531610184-IG50RKITTJF0WSGZS0YM/Julia%2BBaker.jpg Father's Day 2020 Julia | Denver, CO What is your dad’s name? Thomas What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My favorite memory of my dad is going to the pool with him almost every weekend that the pool was open. He grew up swimming as a stress reliever, and as a dad, transferred his love of swimming onto me. I loved the routine of him packing a bag of goggles, sunscreen, and towels, and loading my siblings and I into the car for our day-long trip. At the pool, he obliged our requests to "watch" underwater flips and handstands, and threw pool toys out into the deep end when we requested a game of deep diving. He gently coached us on how to take a leap of faith off the diving board and swim without fear from one end of the pool to the other. I cherished these days spent with him and the rituals of this father-daughter time. At the end of every day at the pool, we fought him to stay in the water, and he patiently waited for us to make our way out, understanding that it was not resistance to his command, but resistance to ending our time with him that day. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? My friends all wrote letters to me after I lost him. I've carried them around with me to this day. Having a handwritten expression of grief was helpful to see that I'm not on this journey alone. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592533720469-T4C7STNUIKMKP32FCKCS/Carla%25252BHoe.jpg Father's Day 2020 Carla | New York, NY What is your dad’s name? John What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My favourite memory is the way he would hold my face when kissing me on the cheek. What do you miss about your dad? His smile and the way his presence would light up a room. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? One of my closest friends took me for a walk by a river and we had a long chat. She also had lost her dad, but a few years before me. She told me that grieving was a lonely process because we grieve different versions of the same person (the father, the husband, the brother). That helped me understand why I felt so lonely even though I was surrounded by so many people. Is there anything else you wish to share? I think about my dad everyday. I wish people wouldn’t expect grieving to be linear and a “done and dusted” process. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592531828242-CIGM9Q7IQQP2M0DZD0C7/Lisa%25252BPoplasky%25252BArrington.jpg Father's Day 2020 Lisa | Pleasanton, CA What is your dad’s name? Mike What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My dad was an awesome guy. It’s hard to pick a favorite memory, but as I just had my first child, this one stands out: we were discussing children, and I was telling my dad I can’t believe that he and my mom had three of them! I shared that I thought I would never be ready to be a mom. And he said, Lisa, if everyone waited until they were “ready” for kids, no one would have any. My son came as a little bit of a surprise, so when my husband and I found out, that conversation I had with my dad gave me a lot of comfort. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss our daily talks and laughs, and I miss the way he would always encourage me when I doubted myself. He was my ride or die number one fan and he loved me and my siblings deeply. Was he perfect? No way. Did he make mistakes? Hell yes, and some pretty BIG ones. Did we love him less for it? No, because he was our dad. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592196557156-8PP8FYPGAFOTV9W1ZLU4/Lauren+Bobersky.JPG Father's Day 2020 Lauren | Brooklyn, NY What is your dad’s name? Gerard Bobersky What do you miss about your dad? I miss riding around in his truck with him, I miss being able to ask him literally any question that popped into my head and he would know the answer, I miss him calling me by my middle name "Rachel," I miss walking downstairs and seeing him watching TV on the couch, I miss calling him "dad," I miss his support and advice, I miss his poetry. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? A classmate of mine, who had very recently lost his mother, put his arm around me and said: "I tell myself that I would rather have 14 years with her as my mom than a lifetime with anyone else." I feel the same way about my dad. Is there anything else you would like to share? Happiness and sadness are not opposites, and during really celebratory times I can feel both emotions very deeply. I used to think my grief tainted all happy times because I wish my dad was there. I am working on transforming this narrative into an appreciation of how proud he would be of me. Sometimes, I wish people would check in with how I am feeling, even if on the surface it should seem like I am obviously celebrating. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592531169569-5ITHUCZDW1L1HEWJVZ6T/Dana%252BStamos.jpg Father's Day 2020 Dana | Chicago, IL What is your dad’s name? Tom Stamos What’s your favorite memory of your dad? So many. One of my favorite memories is getting caught in a blizzard with him driving up to our lake house in Wisconsin. The roads were so bad, I had to stick my head out the window to keep us from veering into the woods as my dad drove. I wasn't scared because he was with me. When we got to the house, the power was out. So, we made a fire and drank beers and ate cheese and crackers for dinner. We talked and laughed. It seems so simple, but I would give anything to go back to that moment with him. What do you miss about your dad? I miss his smile. I miss how safe and confident he made me feel. I miss how he would tell me that my 'grumpy days' are 'good days' for most people. I miss his dance moves and his grilled cheese sandwiches and his hugs. I think I miss his hugs the most. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish more people would ask about the ways in which my dad and I are alike. Most people don't ask about him at all. I got so much from him, the best parts of him are the best parts of me, too. I am goofy because he was. I only know about baseball because he taught me. My heart holds onto the feelings of others because his did, too. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592534804886-Q3U26M3SESX64R1UC535/Joe%2BPitsor.jpg Father's Day 2020 Joe | Des Moines, IA What is your dad’s name? Deon Pitsor What’s one of your favorite memories of your dad? The last time we went out to eat as a family. It was about 2 months before he passed away from melanoma skin cancer, and he’d just had a steroid treatment that made him feel the most energized he’d felt in weeks. We went out to eat at the best seafood restaurant in town and heard stories about mom and dad’s engagement while laughing over amazing food and wine. It felt just like one of the carefree family meals we had before he got cancer. I’d give anything to relive that meal and will cherish the memory of it for the rest of my life. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? My friend Liz pulled out all the stops in the aftermath of my dad’s death. I have this quirky interest in struggling shopping malls and she organized a whole day trip to a mostly vacant mall in Des Moines called Southridge to help get my mind off of everything happening. I’ll always cherish and appreciate that day at Southridge. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592197456684-6GBZT83TMN0POUXS0NKM/Collett%2BArraj.jpg Father's Day 2020 Collett | Washington, DC What is your dad’s name? William What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My elementary school was designed with all of the classrooms situated on a long hallway with a stairwell at either side. At the end of the day, the parents would stride up those steps to pick up their kids who were waiting in the hall. I always loved this moment because it meant that I could run down that long hallway, with my oversized backpack swinging precariously on my tiny frame, and leap onto his back. (And, of course, I knew all the other kids were watching and jealous.) But most of all, I was excited to jump on his back because it meant we were going to have our daily ‘moment’. Our own secret conference with me whispering in his ear every little detail of my day’s adventures and him sharing the same back about his. I treasured those moments simply as a couple of minutes to be with my dad. What do you miss about him? I don’t think that I appreciated this until I was older, around high school or the beginning of college, but I started to notice how many topics he became an ‘expert’ on just because one of his friends, my mom, or I mentioned them. It was through this pursuit of learning that he really showed his love for others. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592278430718-856LS3ZVRSXAG7Q6D5SQ/Greg+Thomson.JPG Father's Day 2020 Greg | Philadelphia, PA What is your dad’s name? Pete What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Living near Syracuse, New York, my Dad never wanted me to go far away to attend college. But when I first visited Tulane University in New Orleans, I was hooked. When I first left for college and every time I would head back after being home for a break, my Dad would sob. He is a big teddy bear and it showed through his tears. He just wanted me close to home to spend more time together and I miss his hugs. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? On the day my Dad died, the last thing he ate was a bowl of Frosted Flakes for breakfast. A few days before January 28th each year, I receive a package in the mail from one of my favorite people. Inside is always a box of Frosted Flakes. I wake up each morning on January 28th and have a bowl to remember my Dad. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592370857544-TCVSLEFCABOVJC31OIFP/Taryn%2BHye.jpg Father's Day 2020 Taryn | Des Moines, IA What’s your dad’s name? Bob What’s your favorite memory of your dad? He came to visit me while I was living in Boston. It was rare to have one-on-one time together because I have siblings. We went out to dinner, to a bar, and saw a concert. That weekend we had some of the realest, most adult conversations we've ever had. I got to know him in a different way, in a way that was separate from just being my dad. What do you miss (or not miss) about him? His smile and his laugh. Is there anything you wish people would ask you? What was it like to lose your dad? Is there anything else you’d like to share about your dad? He somehow maintained a cheery, upbeat attitude toward his kids and toward life regardless of what he got in return. Even when I was an angsty teen who gave back so little, he always responded to me with unrelenting positivity and kindness. He loved being alive, he appreciated life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592279606871-OZ4XGJCO1QXYIRZY9VND/Courtney%2BArnold.jpg Father's Day 2020 Courtney | Washington, DC What is your dad’s name? Robert L. Arnold, Jr. What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Our long discussions while picking and eating fruit in the summertime! Picking blackberries down in the country near the farm he grew up, selecting the best watermelon and cantaloupe at the farmer's market, picking muscadines from my grandmother's vine. What do you miss about your dad? Him cutting and deseeding cantaloupe! Since he passed five years ago, I've only bought pre-cut cantaloupe slices because the inside with the seeds has always freaked me out. Trypophobia is real, y'all, lol. On a heavier note, I really miss his guidance right now. Growing up in SC, he saw a lot. It's times like right now that I wish I could talk to him, get advice, and hear and learn from his experiences as a Black man in America. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? Remember and acknowledge milestone dates--even years later! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592535104263-PTQ0WDA4HLN7HLOCVC5C/Helen%2BBoyer.jpg Father's Day 2020 Helen | Long Beach, CA What is your dad’s name? Bill What do you miss about your dad? This will be my first Father's Day without my dad and it feels almost unbearable to think about. My dad hung the moon. I miss everything about him, especially his playfulness, his hugs, his unyielding commitment to justice, his voice, his advice, the little doodles he'd draw, and his belief in me. I miss going to basketball games with him, I miss our morning coffee together, I miss our lunch dates, I miss talking about his latest research, and I miss drinking pinot noir with him. I even miss his stubbornness. He was my first best friend. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish more people would ask me about him. Ask me about his life. Ask me about my favorite things about him. I'm afraid of the world forgetting about him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592535197679-D3DK8ZOZMF5X2QG2QN23/Molly%252BVocino%252B3.jpg Father's Day 2020 Molly | Philadelphia, PA What is your dad’s name? Joe What are some of your favorite memories of your dad? Waking up on a Sunday morning to the smell of my dad cooking corn beef hash, singing along to Sleepy Hollow playing on WXPN. Waking up to a walkie talkie on my pillow and going outside to meet him and my mom on the beach with the dogs on an early morning walk during our annual week-long vacation. Going to the new 24-hour McDonalds at 3 am for a cheeseburger because we could. Being woken up in the middle of the night to come outside and look at the moon with him. Laying on the hammock in our backyard while he played guitar. Learning to sing harmonies together to our favorite songs. Skipping school to go to Six Flags together and riding all of the roller coasters. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592535409167-AOQX4FD311T3038JMYQJ/Carol%2BCadavid%2B2.jpg Father's Day 2020 Carol | San Francisco, CA What is your dad’s name? William Cadavid What’s your favorite memory of your dad? How excited he'd get visiting me in college and exploring campus together. I'd have to make him leave the union or bookstore. I would be so annoyed, probably wanted to go out to eat but he'd rather be browsing a bookstore. Looking back now, it's a fond memory. What do you miss about your dad? His really great and silly sense of humor, he could make anyone laugh. Is there anything else you wish people would ask about him? I wish people asked about him in general. What was he like? What were his hobbies? Once people get over the initial shock and grief, they don't bother to ask anything about him anymore. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592279473640-F8UG8T82PXWZEHGGZCFY/Colleen%2BCass.jpg Father's Day 2020 Colleen | Long Island City, NY What is your dad’s name? Ed What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss the random texts I’d receive from my dad. He had large thumbs and bad eyesight so the texts were often badly misspelled and needed a bit of deciphering. He would text me what the weather was wherever I was, the football game score of my alma mater, or pictures of the family dog. They were mundane but sweet gestures that I’ll always hold onto. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? I was 2 weeks into a new job when my father passed. I took a week off and when I returned to work it felt like everyone was stepping on eggshells around me. No one knew how to talk to a 22 year old who just had her world shattered. No one wanted to mention my dad. But I had a coworker I didn’t know well look me in the eye at my desk and say “I’m sorry for your loss,” and it felt like I could breathe again. My grief was acknowledged. Not just swept under the rug. That coworker made me feel seen. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592194076154-7JYP2VBPI1NHNFCHV1DL/Elizabeth%2BRiley%2B1.jpg Father's Day 2020 Elizabeth | Carmel, IN What is your dad’s name? Michael Cannon What’s your favorite memory of your dad? He would take me to the Children’s Museum as a little kid. What do you miss about your dad? The stories and pictures of his hikes. Being able to call him 24/7 when something needs fixed. Is there anything else you'd like to share? My dad didn’t have a father present in his life from age 13 on, and he did all he could to make sure he was there for my sister and I in all the ways his father never was. His life was cut short at age 61 due to a hiking accident/fall. He traveled out west frequently for work and would set aside extra time during his trips to hike. His first venture was Half Dome with his brother, and his final was Middle Palisade. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592279538446-4DUV9NYWHF9U54H14BIC/Karl%2BSnyder.jpg Father's Day 2020 Karl | Portland, OR What is your dad’s name? John Snyder What do you miss about your dad? My dad had a hilarious, contagious laugh: once he started, he held onto it as long as possible just because he liked laughing so much and didn't want it to end. He was a brilliant, curious scholar and teacher of many subjects. He was creative with words and wrote essays and poetry. He got deeply into whatever he was working on, and when he was zoned in he sometimes couldn't get out of his mind. He taught me how to research answers to all my questions when possible, and how to live gracefully with the unresearchable questions, too. Is there anything else you'd like to share? I'm still learning how grateful I am that, before he died, he taught me by example that masculinity doesn't have to be a toxic force--that it can be playful, and open, and loving, and still be masculinity. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592281401575-DG4TWWAN9R2F2ORQ0YYW/Anne+Nelson.jpg Father's Day 2020 Anne | New Jersey What is your dad’s name? James Nelson What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My favorite memory of my dad is doing fun activities together. He used to proudly coach my basketball and softball teams when I was younger. He also loved playing Nintendo 64 with me, going on the rides together at Walt Disney World, and when we used to go on car rides to Blockbuster together. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss my dad’s bear hugs. After a long day at work, he would come in the door with a huge smile and a big squeeze. I also miss his Butterfly Kisses, just like the song. He used to call me his “Peanut Girl” because I was so tiny. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would ask me about him. I wish people would ask about his sense of humor, heroism, kindness, and how much of a devoted husband and father he was. I wish people would ask about how he made the best of each day that he lived. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592371287852-245SIM5T9Y2YH9WL8O97/Jamiyl%2BSamuels.jpg Father's Day 2020 Jamiyl | Queens, NY What is your dad’s name? Neville Samuels What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? My Dad walked out on my Mom and I when I was 10 years old. It hurt me tremendously because it was unexpected. I spent my teenage years without a father, arguably when I needed him the most. I was angry, bitter, resentful. It took 15 years for us to reunite. It was awkward, yet we stayed in contact barely. When I finally began to embrace him again after he met my son for the first time, I learned he was diagnosed with cancer. He died six months later, two months before the birth of my daughter. I miss not having him here. I feel that if I would have made a decision to forgive him earlier, we could have salvaged our relationship before it was too late. Is there anything else you wish to share? My wife convinced me to write about my feelings concerning my Dad in order to heal myself and in turn be a better husband to her. I wrote and released Pass The Torch: How A Young Black Father Challenges the 'Deadbeat Dad' Stereotype, and it was very cathartic for me. It was the first time I addressed the anger and feelings of loss I had in my spirit. The book goes into greater detail about my trauma—the beauty of which is that this story is not mine alone, but that of hundreds of young Black men around the country. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592533754199-3BX0C8W03RPX72JFUAZ3/Kirsten%252BPfenning%252B1.jpg Father's Day 2020 Kirsten | Oakland, CA What is your dad’s name? James Malon What’s your favorite memory of your dad? One of my most comforting childhood memories is the gentle way he would wake me up from my naps. He'd put a hand on my back and say, "Kirsten. Kirsten Marie." My dad never owned a cell phone and was known for just on a whim showing up places without telling anyone he was coming. When I moved to San Francisco after college, he took BART up to the city and convinced my new landlord to let him into my empty apartment just so he could see it and leave me a note congratulating me on the new place. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss his curiosity about people and ideas. I miss our long breakfasts where I'd tell him something new I learned and he'd grill me on the topic. I miss his unpredictable, dry sense of humor where it would take a minute to tell if he was serious or kidding. I miss his support and enthusiasm for all of my career/life pursuits. I miss seeing his face light up when his granddaughter entered the room. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592281732989-KJTZ1QBGIO57L4AKYD8K/Kate+Russell.jpg Father's Day 2020 Kate | Minneapolis, MN What is your dad’s name? John What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss the way he hugged me, his laugh/cackle, his taste in music and interest in music I liked, his breakfasts, his emails and letters, our "Power Lunches," his humor, and his love for all office supplies. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? My dad died by suicide. I wish people felt more comfortable talking to me about suicide (his and in general) and depression. I wish more people would acknowledge his light and dark sides and ask about both. It doesn't make me sad when people bring him up (I think about him every day!); it makes me sad when people *don't* bring him up. What’s your favorite memory of your dad? So many, but one that stands out: We're in his purple Jeep (which he tricked out with blue rope lighting inside) and we're driving along a tree-lined road on Madeline Island, Wisconsin. The wind is blowing past us and we're screaming along to Beck's "Where It's At" as loud as we can. He's dancing and laughing and smiling. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592524549049-3EIRU8VPPUU2LM33FO3T/Eric%2BTapper.jpg Father's Day 2020 Eric | Brooklyn, NY What is your dad’s name? Fred Tapper What would you like to share about your dad? I'd like to share his name was Fred. He was a doctor for 20 years, and transitioned into health food, using his medical degree to help people heal through alternative methods. He was an incredibly likable guy, not without his flaws, but skewed selfless. He taught me about meditation and patience, about seeking out goodness in others. About how deeply your actions can affect those you love despite your best intentions. He taught me about forgiveness, and that it's not about always making life more comfortable, but that it's important to lean into the discomfort. He taught me about how good a tomato is when you grow it yourself. He taught me that you can put a damp dish towel under a cutting board to keep it stable. He taught me how to make tomato sauce, and chicken parmesan, and most importantly how to cook for the people you love. It's different, I assure you. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? He was my go-to when the weight of the world was on upon my shoulders. I honestly miss hearing him say, "Hey man, you're doing great. Just focus on the next right thing." https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592535624498-K06BXUUJQZKSL2IMJGZO/Lisa%25252BGreene.jpg Father's Day 2020 Lisa | Denver, CO What is your dad’s name? David Harris What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss the way he laughed and how when I’d come home to visit he’d put his hands on my shoulders, lean back, and say, “Did anyone ever tell you that you have the prettiest blue eyes?” But he was also so sweet and caring in his own way. I miss everything about him. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? My husband never gave (and still doesn’t give) any thoughts on how I should be grieving or try to put a positive spin on it. Every time I come to him sobbing he simply holds me and strokes my hair. Doesn’t say a word except for the occasional, “I love you. I’m here.” When I talk about my dad he talks about him too. In short, it was and is so helpful that my husband holds space for me and listens more than anything. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592540275067-WEXZNXX1594PGABRE7KQ/Ben%2BHerchenroether.jpg Father's Day 2020 Ben | Boston, MA What is your dad’s name? Dan Herchenroether What’s your favorite memory of your dad? If you walk down the hill from my parents' house, there's a river with railroad tracks running along it. When I was a kid, that was one of my favorite places to go, and he'd carry me on his shoulders down the hill so we could stand by the river and watch the boats go by. In my memory, I feel like we did this almost every Saturday morning. Then we'd come home and he'd make either hot dogs or grilled cheese for lunch. I loved getting to be with him and see what felt like the edge of the world at the time. I wonder what those mornings felt like to him, getting to carry around his little son. Another memory that comes to mind: at the end of his life when I was visiting him in the hospital, I was holding his hand, when he suddenly started arm wrestling me - despite being in the ICU and barely able to sit up on his own. I can’t imagine anything being funnier in that moment. We were all so worried, but he still found ways to make us laugh and bring joy to our last days together. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? A few of his old friends shared stories from their time with him. It was really nice to hear about his life before I was a part of it. I miss having him tell me about his life, so the only I can hear those stories now is through the people who knew him. It gave me a lot of pride too, hearing how much he was loved and admired by everyone. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592535648528-K50OOY51HGSX1AEOF2UH/Angie%252BRuddell.jpg Father's Day 2020 Angie | Denver, CO What is your dad’s name? Jim Ruddell What’s your favorite memory of your dad? When I was in grade school, my dad would take me and my friend Merisha to the donut shop every Sunday. We would get a box of donut holes and drive around singing ZZ Top for what seemed like hours. My dad always treated my friends like family. He had such a generous heart and was a role model to more people than he ever knew. What do you miss about your dad? My dad always knew what to say, without fail, even if it meant saying nothing at all. He is the first person I would call with happy or sad news, if I needed advice or to complain or if I ever needed a comforting voice. If someone hurt my feelings or did me dirty, he would always say, “As your dead old dad always says, ‘fuck em’”. I say it to myself every now and then still. More than anything I miss his open ear and open heart. He was the greatest gift of my life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592282040423-C93LYFFRIKPV98J3PDKO/Dana%2BAmsbary.jpg Father's Day 2020 Dana | Watertown, MA What is your dad’s name? Bruce What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Any special father-daughter time we had, but especially listening to Broadway showtunes or going to see musicals/plays with him. His favorite musical is A Chorus Line. He took me to see my first touring Broadway show – Annie (1997) – when it was on tour in Boston. We even got to meet the cast that night! Even if he didn’t have a particular interest, he would make sure we went. What do you miss about him? When I was little I used to hide under the covers in my parents’ bed. He would call me his little “mouse.” He still called me his “mouse” during his final days when I would lay in bed next to him. I miss his popovers. He would make them to every holiday/special occasion and when we had visitors from out of town. The past few times I have made them they haven’t “popped up” right – I think he’s trying to tell me something. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592524111230-CRNERO4KEODXN20KOFKH/Ilana%2BShapiro%2BYahdav.jpg Father's Day 2020 Ilana | San Mateo, CA What is your dad’s name? Eric A Shapiro, MD What would you like to share about your dad? He was a wonderful and brave person who stood up for what he believed was right, even if it made him unpopular. The way he handled his diagnosis was incredible. His bravery and love for my family was a true blessing. His top concern was making sure that we were taken care of. It took me years to understand what a gift that was. He even planned his own funeral and chose his casket to try and make it easier for my mom. It was so brave and courageous and a true gift that we didn't have to worry about any of that and could focus on our grief. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? A friend called me every day of my father's Shiva to remind me I wasn't alone and that she was with me. Every call she ended it with telling me you don't need to call me back if you don't want to and I'll call you tomorrow. I never picked up the phone, but I looked forward to her calls each day of Shiva because she felt me feel seen and validated in my grief. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592524885591-YERKQOUQ3BF0TF9DOTTC/Halle%2BHuff%2B3.jpg Father's Day 2020 Halle | Minneapolis, MN What is your dad’s name? Barry Huff What do you miss about your dad? I miss having normal conversations with my dad. There are SO many things about him that I miss, but when it really hits me is when I want to pick up the phone and I realize he won’t be on the other side. I would call him for the most random things: in the grocery store, what type of spaghetti sauce should I buy, or in the car to tell him about what my coworker said that day. I miss my dad every second of every day, but I miss our day-to-day conversations and his advice sprinkled in. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you’d like to share? I wish people would ask me what he would say, or I wish they would share with me his opinions and advice he shared with them previously. There are so many important conversations happening right now, and they are not new. I wonder what he would say, and I’m sure this has come up before. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592282233485-5E84G6AS4Y50TKDNXTYO/Stephanie%2BNickerson.jpg Father's Day 2020 Stephanie | Philadelphia, PA What is your dad’s name? Pete Nickerson What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Sharing peppermint stick ice cream sundaes together. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I think the thing I miss the most is they way he just “got me” - I didn’t have to explain or do anything, we could just be together and be understood. We shared the same humor, and had similar thinking, so we just genuinely enjoyed being together. And his big bear hugs, miss those too. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? Being aware that everyone’s grief journey is different - and can also be evolving and changing all the time. Just because I get one way in the first few months doesn’t mean I’ll feel the same a year later. The most helpful people have recognized that! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592281631131-R9BQCJNI29ZGNPHZKBWK/Kelly+Simmons+5.jpg Father's Day 2020 Kelly | Attleboro, MA What is your dad’s name? Ed Simmons What’s your favorite memory of your dad? He always retold the same stories of his childhood and I would finish them before he could. "Stop me if I told you this one..." What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss his laugh. I miss our talks. I miss sneaking him beers into the nursing home. I miss him swearing under his breath during a baseball game. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? People held space for me and gave me the room to be a mess. They gave me understanding and patience. Is there anything else you’d like to share? It's hard to talk about him in past tense. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592536349972-EBP8YWLLS88GJ6VNWOFH/Courtney%2BJenkins%2B2.jpg Father's Day 2020 Courtney | Maryland What is your dad’s name? Ken Jenkins What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Reading together when I was very small; running together when I was an adult. What do you miss about your dad? I miss everything about him. His voice, his sense of humor, his love of classic rock, his hugs, the way I could always count on him, the way he took care of friends and family, the pride he took in being a teacher, his constant love and support. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish that people would ask to hear more when I mention a memory of him. I wish they would remember I'm forever changed by losing him. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? "How are you doing?" because it's so vague, and I never feel comfortable opening up because it makes them uncomfortable. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592536179977-AADYCXGO3LIPFACR4WDH/Lauren%2BDoughty.jpg Father's Day 2020 Lauren | London, UK What is your dad’s name? Robert William Doughty What would you like to share about your dad? I will always think of my dad as my best friend, and mentor - that person in my life that I could talk to about anything, anytime. He was always there to listen and support with his wisdom learnt from living many lives and adventures. My dad had so many stories to tell – being an active member of alternative culture in the 70’s, tales of hitchhiking from Liverpool to Morocco and fighting cockroaches in cheap hotel rooms, living in the Seychelles, accidentally finding himself in a deal with local mafia in Madagascar trying to buy a casino, moving to Singapore with my mum (where I was born), Myanmar, and eventually back to the UK as a family. A man who welcomed constant change and challenge, as a way of accepting the unpredictability of life’s events - a just say ‘yes’ kind of person. Something he always used to say to me when I felt unsure on a decision was - “If it doesn’t make you feel at least a little bit nervous, then it’s probably not worth doing!” He lived by the idea to do the things that you want to do, and try not to waste your time doing things you don’t enjoy. Navigating life since he died has been incredibly difficult at times; his loss has left a big hole of grief, which comes in waves. I miss his guidance and calm energy very much, yet when I manage to find strength in my grief moments I try to remind myself that his guidance and energy is actually always within me somewhere, as I am part of him, and his stories. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592536215329-TPS5U36A35JSGCA78NL6/Alexandra%252BMandel.jpg Father's Day 2020 Alexandra | Israel What is your dad’s name? Don Mandel What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss our weekly calls on Friday where I'd call to say shabbat shalom and then we'd bullshit often for 1-2 hours as I shared about what was going on in my life and my plans for the future. I miss being able to call him for every achievement. It’s hard for me to feel as proud of myself without him being so vocally and clearly proud of me. I miss his jokes and huge laugh, how carefree and chill he was, how I could always lean on him for anything from moral support, constant encouragement and help with anything car/home renovation/practical and logistical in nature. I miss how innately close we were and felt to each other without ever having to vocalize it or make a show of it. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? My dad taught me what it meant to be wholly devoted to family, to love big and effortlessly and about how to enjoy life. He had his priorities straight. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? I wish they'd ask more about him and how he lived rather than just how he died. He died suddenly, literally dropped dead one day, and I'm just coming to terms with that not only being tragic but traumatic. There aren't any answers in how he died and there never will be. I'd rather focus on how he lived and loved. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592523967087-JVUP0EKLUJMLFH99YBRD/Samantha%2BLish.jpg Father's Day 2020 Samantha | New York, NY What is your dad’s name? John What’s your favorite memory of your dad? When we were touring college campuses in 2011/2012, my dad would always stop and say, "Wow, this must be beautiful in the fall." He was so predictable, but in the best, most comforting way. What do you miss about your dad? I miss his delicious grilled cheeses, awful dad jokes, and mid-afternoon naps after his early morning golf games. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592532118044-YKCC5OYNSY3TBEKM573C/Joy%2BDonze.jpg Father's Day 2020 Joy | Brooklyn, NY What is your dad’s name? Elmo Donze What’s your favorite memory of your dad? The time he told me he loved me. What do you miss about your dad? I miss the opportunity to connect. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? My two best friends came over the day before I was traveling back to New York from my family’s hometown, and deep-cleaned my apartment and stocked the fridge for me and left a note with all their love. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592589922804-GY4NDTMHLJ2LCIMSK8H6/Emily.jpg Father's Day 2020 Emily | Lima, Peru What is your dad’s name? Kurt Williams What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My dad took us out on his boat on a perfect Michigan summer day. He used to always say that being on the water was the only thing that made him feel free. We shared that love of water. I always jump in a body of water, no matter how cold. That day was no exception. Lake Michigan is always pretty cold, but that day the water temp was probably 55 degrees. My dad asked me how it was, and I told him it wasn't that bad. So he jumped in. I'll never forget his face when he popped up. It was a mixture of shock (from the cold), betrayal (I wasn't lying!) and a bit of that “I'm going to murder you” stare. He yelled, "OH MY FUCKING GOD. THAT WATER IS FUCKING FREEZING! JESUS CHRIST! Man, I don't know if you got a lot from me, but you got one thing - you talk a lot of shit. And people believe you!" Now, I may have the first bit a little off because I was laughing so hard. But that was my dad. He didn't like something, you'd know. I tried to tell him that jumping in cold water is good for the joints, but he wasn't having it. I know it seems like an odd thing to remember fondly, but I guess you had to understand my dad. The times he would get mad at us for pulling one over on him were secretly the times I think he was most proud of my brother and I. In a way, he saw his best characteristics manifest in us. He loved making people laugh, pulling pranks on them and appreciating the absurdity of life. When he died, my inbox was flooded with messages from people who told me how much his sense of humor meant to them. When our people are no longer here, the best is to think about what remains in us - and I hope I hold tightly to the silly, the absurd and the shit talking I got from him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592531003332-L3S9UT0XR8B1U75DMW23/Emily%2BSmith%2B2.jpg Father's Day 2020 Emily | Fairfax, VA What is your dad’s name? Mark What do you miss about your dad? I miss his burning desire to help people and how he never saw disability as a bad thing--even though he had his own challenges with his disability, he made it his mission to help others too, whether by gifting them free wheelchair parts or by telling a funny joke to lift their spirits. Years before he passed, he used to say that he would have a chair waiting for him in heaven, because his chair was his legs. What else do you wish to share about your dad? My father was an incredible disability advocate, who ran a very popular message forum for wheelchair users to ask questions and connect, on top of running a blog about disability and life. He was a prolific writer, who helped me realize that writing down words can help us long after someone is gone. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592533936089-WGVZOBPJPSDZI226EH84/Joanne%2BBriones.jpg Father's Day 2020 Joanne | Potomac, MD What is your dad’s name? Joe Beltrano What’s your favorite memory of your dad? He wasn't the best driver. He always got into minor fender benders and had his share of speeding tickets. When we were living in DC, he sheepishly called to tell us he was in the city and that he had got a flat, so we rushed over to where he was to make sure he was okay. As soon as we got there he confessed that he hit a curb, which popped his tire. He was never one to admit when he was at fault, but it was fun to hang out and laugh (at his expense!) until the tow truck arrived. What's something helpful someone did for you after you lost him? A little while after my dad died, a friend dropped off some frozen meals. There are always a ton of people around during the funeral/burial, and the numbers usually decline after that so this gesture to show that she cared in the months that followed was much appreciated! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1591910245564-SWF20GYGRN2YIZMFW185/Adrienne%25252BRoss%25252B1.jpg Father's Day 2020 Adrienne | Medway, MA What is your dad’s name? Joel Osborne What is your favorite memory of your dad? When I was younger, he would rewrite the lyrics to songs to make us laugh. He wrote one about my dog to the tune of an Elton John song; one about burgers and shakes instead of “spiders and snakes”, and even one about our mailman! What do you miss about him? The simple times. He was sick for years and in a nursing home for the last 4 years of his life due to his early onset Alzheimer’s diagnosis. I miss my weekly visits to him. He wasn’t able to communicate at the end and I’m not even sure if he knew we were there or understood it, but I cherished those visits so much. I really miss those simple visits. What’s something helpful you did for yourself after you lost him? Wrote! I wrote a lot. About him, about our memories, about how his disease changed the entire course of my life. I have shared it publicly too and would love to have it published somewhere someday. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1591910317082-WTQ8Z758ZHWFBJA9MW01/Samuel+Gradess.PNG Father's Day 2020 Samuel | Brooklyn, NY What is your dad’s name? Jonathan Gradess What do you miss about him? My Dad was a public defender and one thing I grew to love as I was navigating my 20s was his rational, level-headed thinking and ability to argue from multiple perspectives. It pushed me to be prepared for so many circumstances personally and professionally. At the same time, he was a hardcore goofball. On his birthday, just a few weeks before he developed symptoms that would later be diagnosed as stage 4 pancreatic cancer, he was doing a birthday speech that sounded exactly like John Lennon. That was who he was - brilliant and hilarious. What else would you like to share about him? I am grateful I got to spend his final weeks with him. He was very comfortable with death because he had led a spiritual life that didn't limit his faith in others, and he truly believed that he saw God in everyone. He was the most progressive person I have ever known, and he championed the most disenfranchised of us all. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592534336205-58ODSKKBN48V2DH8LMC4/Sydney%2BKobell.jpg Father's Day 2020 Sydney | Los Angeles, CA What is your stepdad’s name? Robert What’s your favorite memory of him? Finally seeing Metallica in concert together. What do you miss about him? I miss the way he supported me and listened to me. He always gave me the best life advice and cheered me on in everything I did. I miss listening to music, watching Shark Tank, and trying new foods together. Is there anything you wish people would ask you? I appreciate when people ask me how my mom is feeling, but I wish they would ask how I am feeling too, especially on holidays. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost him? My co-worker who had lost her brother a year before came over to my apartment to comfort me on the night of my loss. She helped me process the immediate shock. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592192833664-NDVZO1SHBLQ0UD1YCHQH/Heather%2BPiedrahita.jpg Father's Day 2020 Heather | San Diego, CA What is your husband’s name? Steven Piedrahita What do you miss about him? Right now I'm missing watching Steven be a dad to our boys. He loved them so fiercely and it's not lost on me that he's not here to be celebrated on Father's Day. He would love the way our oldest is learning to read and the fact that the youngest loves to wear hats just like his Papa. I hope he's watching and smiling at all these little moments. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost him? Checked in regularly. It was a simple text just about every day but it made a huge difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592193099838-TJ6TEL8IDL2ZBG1WB133/Jeanette%2BQuinlan.jpg Father's Day 2020 Jeanette | San Francisco, CA What is your dad’s name? Albert Neri, Jr What’s your favorite memory of your dad? College freshman year, parents’ weekend - he ate a footlong meatball sub in the cafeteria for dinner, took a nap on the floor of my dorm room, and took me to a Bill Cosby comedy show. This was about a month after 9/11. What do you miss about your dad? I miss talking politics and current events with him. I constantly find myself asking what he would have to say or write about the current political climate. Is there anything else you'd like to share? I constantly see him in me - my personality, my humor is so much of my dad's. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? His Celebration of Life service was the closing we all needed after a long journey. I was honored to be able to share my stories of him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592531368236-3OZXK58RWZF1K3IKIATK/Sarah%252BJane%252BBunner.jpg Father's Day 2020 Sarah Jane | Indianapolis, IN What is your dad’s name? Skipper Bunner What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I do miss his adventurous spirit. My dad made an adventure out of everything. I do not miss his temper, or the unhealed wounds which caused him to sometimes be unkind. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? Other members of the Dead Dad club came out of the woodwork to offer me love. I will honestly never forget them. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would ask me where my dad still shows up in my life. I feel him when I am swimming, exploring, or when I do something that brings me joy and that other people in my life don't completely understand. When he tapped into his compassion and humor, he understood me like nobody else can. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592534026077-RU6FU7HAFK0FYFRT7D3B/Anna%2BDempsey.jpg Father's Day 2020 Anna | London, UK What is your dad’s name? David Dempsey What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My Dad was the absolute best at showing up for people. For me, it was the airport pick up. He'd be there an hour early, park the car and come insde just so his face would be the first thing I saw after landing. He wasn't late, not once. What do you miss about your dad? I miss hearing him tell me that he's proud of me, and that he loves me. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish they'd ask me what I miss about him or what it was like to be his daughter. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? On the day of my Dad's funeral a friend who couldn't make it sent my family a dozen brownies. They literally tasted like healing and hugs, all of the good stuff. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592195806062-SIN8LBJBX47D8WQ2TNIP/Nicole%2BGarcia%2B2.jpg Father's Day 2020 Nicole | Los Angeles, CA What is your dad’s name? Eusebio (Joe) What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My parents were in town for my birthday one year and we went to Malibu Wines. A motorcycle crash happened right down the street and as soon as we heard the crash, without hesitation, my dad ran out to help. We have a lot of stories about my dad helping people out. That's just who he was. He cared about anyone and everyone and was always willing to lend a hand. What do you miss about your dad? I miss his laugh. It was loud (and sometimes obnoxious) and full of life. It lit up a room wherever he went. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? Not so much ask as saying, "He's in a better place" or, "Well, at least he's no longer in pain." I know they mean well, but it doesn't make it hurt any less and diminishes the loss. Is there anything else you'd like to share? Everyone grieves differently. While I understood this before my dad died, it didn't really click until I was navigating this with the rest of my family. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592534082474-WISL0XR6PTNPVD87K5RS/Christine%252BBarrett.jpg Father's Day 2020 Christine | Atlanta, GA What is your dad’s name? Mike What do you miss about your dad? I miss the way my dad took an active interest in anything I cared about. Even if we never talked about what the thing was. For instance, if he saw me tweet about a singer I liked, he'd send me articles about them, or text me if he saw them on a late show. Even if he thought I’d probably already seen it, just to chat about something I liked. Is there anything you wish people would ask about him? I wish people would ask literally anything! I think people assume that it's too painful to talk about my dad when the reality is that I'm bursting with stories and memories I want to share. But I feel like it's a conversation killer when I bring it up, or it makes people feel uncomfortable if they're not prepared, so letting someone else open the conversation when they're ready to hear it helps. I want people to ask about the kind of person he was and the life he lived up until he died. I want people to ask how he died, and about how I found out he'd died. That was the worst day of my life but it's such a release to talk about. His final days also paint such a great picture of his life, and I very much want to share that story. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592531484834-VGT9NASI8FMTWAFT30BU/Madison%2BThomas.jpg Father's Day 2020 Madison | Salt Lake City, UT What is your dad’s name? Chris Thomas What’s your favorite memory of your dad? When I was a kid, my parents took my brother and I on a trip to Yellowstone. My dad was a huge nature nerd so he made it a priority to show us as much wildlife as possible. I was really interested in wolves, so he promised he would try to find some for us to look at. At one point in the trip, we ended up behind one of the ranger vehicles with a huge antenna for tracking animals. We followed it into Lamar Valley and got to watch an entire pack of wolves! One of the wolves was jet black with a limp and later made the news for trying to cross into Utah. I loved watching the wolves with my dad so much that I got a tattoo to commemorate it after he died. Is there anything else you wish to share? I want to share about my dad’s endless humor even during the awful circumstances he had to face during cancer. He always had a joke or something sweet to say, even when he was going through hell. I miss him every single day because of the huge positive light he was in my life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592534407185-XEZT1C58QA7X147TQWPO/Solara%252BCalderon.jpg Father's Day 2020 Solara | San Diego, CA What is your dad’s name? Jack What do you miss about your dad? I miss how special my dad made me feel. I knew how much he loved me just by everything he did. As a kid at sleep away summer camp, he used to send me letters where he had beautifully painted or drawn my name on the front envelope. I'll never forget what it felt like to be someone's favorite person, and I will always miss that feeling. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? I wish people wouldn't immediately ask how old he was when he died because invariably the next comment is, "Wow, he was old!" That never makes me feel good, because it doesn't matter to me that he was an older dad. He was still just my dad and I still wish he had had longer to live. Instead, I’d truly love if others asked me about his personality, his hobbies, my favorite memories of him, what he did for work, what kind of food he liked, where he grew up, what his childhood was like, what he valued most in life... absolutely anything! When others push past the completely understandable discomfort and ask me about my dad, it means the world to me! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592194230390-BKIIDQH1VPGQZ9G3420X/Liz+Emmett.png Father's Day 2020 Liz | Chesapeake, VA What is your dad’s name? Robert Flaherty What’s your favorite memory of your dad? I was 6 and visiting family in NYC. My Dad woke me up and he and I went to a nearby deli and had breakfast together. He let me order whatever I wanted and we sat at the counter and ate together. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss being able to talk to him. It turns out that my Dad was one of my best friends and I confided in him a lot. We talked almost every single day. In the final years of his life, we would go to 7-11 every day and drink coffee together, and I miss that time together. My Dad taught me so much about what it meant to be a good person. He wasn't perfect, but he taught me that it was okay to not be perfect. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? My friends let me talk about him whenever I want and are present in my grief, without needing to try and "fix" it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592194847728-6M8DTOB328Z70ZT05H7N/Stephanie+Carroll.jpeg Father's Day 2020 Stephanie | Cleveland, OH What is your dad’s name? Richard Greene What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My favorite memory is more of a weekly tradition we had in my family. Growing up, we celebrated Shabbat every Friday. We would all stay home for the evening, my grandmother included. Those nights were a huge source of comfort and love. That love was demonstrated through the food, the jokes, and most importantly for my dad, the dessert. What do you miss about your dad? I miss everything about him but mostly his hugs, his sense of humor, and the endless love for his family. Is there anything else you wish people would ask? People don't really talk about him anymore. I wish they would. He lives on in my head and in my heart and my thoughts are constantly about him. It helps me keep his memory and his legacy alive. I wish others would ask about him, talk about him, share stories... that way I wouldn't feel so alone. I constantly try to teach my kids about him, and I look for signs of him in my kids. I see my dad in the way my son gets this glimmer in his eye before he does something against the rules; I see him in my daughter's caring heart. They are his legacy. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592531752198-9Z01NK9JBYWDZMMVE5T9/Tiffany%252BYu.jpg Father's Day 2020 Tiffany | San Francisco, CA What is your dad’s name? Stanley Yu What do you miss about your dad? I love the way my dad moved about the world. He really didn't care what anyone thought. I have this memory of being at Price Club where he grabbed leftover cookies from the tasting station and started eating them and sharing them with me. Everyone around us was judging and making comments and I remember feeling embarrassed but he didn't care. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? People tend to be overly interested in the details of how the death happened. It seems odd to me that the "ending" of a person's life would be the most interesting thing to talk about. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? I joined The Dinner Party 22 years after my dad died. That was when I was ready. It has been beautiful to be able to root myself in community in this way. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592534717168-C0EKJKXL8BSTVTIQZKFK/Emily%2BGilfillan.jpg Father's Day 2020 Emily | Kissimmee, FL What is your dad’s name? Donald Gilfillan What do you miss about your dad? Watching TV with him. That was our thing, we could sit there and watch TV and laugh and talk about what was going on. Is there anything else you wish people would ask? What was he proud of or what did he like? He was proud of his family and he liked to laugh. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? Friends from out of town sent an edible arrangement. It seems cheesy but I wasn't expecting it and it was a way for them to show their love even though they were hundreds of miles away. What does this photo say about your dad? The photo is of him in 2009 on a visit to Mount Vernon. He loved history (something he passed on to me) and wanted to touch a tree that was around when George Washington was. I want to share with others his love of history and how he tried to connect with it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592195350843-PPTQPPXCSN1HIGBDSSLM/Melissa+Reohr.jpg Father's Day 2020 Melissa | Boston, MA What is your dad’s name? David What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Going to the beach in Maine every summer. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss his lectures to me about business and finance. I don't miss his drinking and relationship with alcohol. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost him? My mom found letters that my Dad had written me while I was at summer camp and she helped me compile them together in a book. Is there anything else you would like to share? Before joining The Dinner Party, I had difficulty talking openly about my dad's death. When people ask about my dad and his death, I never quite know what to say. I often have trouble explaining that losing my dad provided me with very mixed feelings -- I miss having him in my life as my father, but I don't miss the unpredictability of his drinking and its effect on me. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592534616698-M68KYQVUQI0C682RX35P/Kate%2BNaylor.jpg Father's Day 2020 Kate | Los Angeles, CA What is your dad’s name? Larry Hinojosa What do you miss about your dad? My dad was the king of kindness. He was constantly working on something for someone else - be it a car, building a fence or tinkering with someone’s electronics. I miss being around that selfless energy, a person who was constantly putting others first. It’s a rare trait these days and I try my best to be like him every day. Is there anything else you you'd like to share? When I tell people my dad died by suicide they instantly ask, “Didn’t you see the signs?” I want people to know that oftentimes, the signs are silent. They can be hidden well and masked with humor, shadowed by always putting others first — it’s a common concept where the depressed person tries to make others happy, because they know what it’s like to be sad. So no, we didn’t see the signs. But now we know what to look for, the importance of checking in on everyone (those who don’t look like they need help often need it the most), and to love fiercely because our time here can be short. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592531410140-W6463F85VYRAY7I7P61Q/Kelli%252BPierce.jpg Father's Day 2020 Kelli | Michigan What is your dad’s name? William "Terry" Pierce What do you miss about your dad? Truly, everything; his laugh, his smile, his kindness - the way he always had an answer for everything, along with the best, candid advice. He was my person, and I miss having "my person" here with me. He always knew what to say and was always on my team. He was the only person who could ever instantly make me feel better when I was feeling down, and I often feel so alone without him. Is there anything else you would like to share about him? My dad never complained once about his cancer diagnosis. He said that if all of this happened just so he could show kindness and love to others in the midst of something horrible, he was okay with that. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? Not something they ask, but I wish people would stop telling me that losing a parent is their biggest fear and that they don't know how I do it. It was my biggest fear as well, and it happened. I don't know how I "do it" either. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592534914227-UTC0PL9TENQ7E9P86KQC/Shalini%2BRay.jpg Father's Day 2020 Shalini | Boston, MA What is your dad’s name? Dr. Sisir K. Ray (my Baba) What’s your favorite memory of him? I have many, but a few come to mind. I'll share the last New Years I celebrated with him. Our family friends always threw a huge party every year, and all the parents would start a dance party with disco ball and all. I remember going downstairs with my friends to laugh at our parents and just seeing my dad on the dance floor dancing in the middle. Being a dancer myself, in no way was he a good dancer, but he was having the time of his life and was never embarrassed to do anything. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? My dad was SO good at everything he put his mind to: he was a star athlete, phenomenal cook, had a green thumb, and he could literally figure out any problem you gave him. He was a living example of being able to pursue anything and everything I wanted, that everything could be done if I put my mind to it. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592531610184-IG50RKITTJF0WSGZS0YM/Julia%2BBaker.jpg Father's Day 2020 Julia | Denver, CO What is your dad’s name? Thomas What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My favorite memory of my dad is going to the pool with him almost every weekend that the pool was open. He grew up swimming as a stress reliever, and as a dad, transferred his love of swimming onto me. I loved the routine of him packing a bag of goggles, sunscreen, and towels, and loading my siblings and I into the car for our day-long trip. At the pool, he obliged our requests to "watch" underwater flips and handstands, and threw pool toys out into the deep end when we requested a game of deep diving. He gently coached us on how to take a leap of faith off the diving board and swim without fear from one end of the pool to the other. I cherished these days spent with him and the rituals of this father-daughter time. At the end of every day at the pool, we fought him to stay in the water, and he patiently waited for us to make our way out, understanding that it was not resistance to his command, but resistance to ending our time with him that day. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? My friends all wrote letters to me after I lost him. I've carried them around with me to this day. Having a handwritten expression of grief was helpful to see that I'm not on this journey alone. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592533720469-T4C7STNUIKMKP32FCKCS/Carla%25252BHoe.jpg Father's Day 2020 Carla | New York, NY What is your dad’s name? John What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My favourite memory is the way he would hold my face when kissing me on the cheek. What do you miss about your dad? His smile and the way his presence would light up a room. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? One of my closest friends took me for a walk by a river and we had a long chat. She also had lost her dad, but a few years before me. She told me that grieving was a lonely process because we grieve different versions of the same person (the father, the husband, the brother). That helped me understand why I felt so lonely even though I was surrounded by so many people. Is there anything else you wish to share? I think about my dad everyday. I wish people wouldn’t expect grieving to be linear and a “done and dusted” process. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592531828242-CIGM9Q7IQQP2M0DZD0C7/Lisa%25252BPoplasky%25252BArrington.jpg Father's Day 2020 Lisa | Pleasanton, CA What is your dad’s name? Mike What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My dad was an awesome guy. It’s hard to pick a favorite memory, but as I just had my first child, this one stands out: we were discussing children, and I was telling my dad I can’t believe that he and my mom had three of them! I shared that I thought I would never be ready to be a mom. And he said, Lisa, if everyone waited until they were “ready” for kids, no one would have any. My son came as a little bit of a surprise, so when my husband and I found out, that conversation I had with my dad gave me a lot of comfort. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss our daily talks and laughs, and I miss the way he would always encourage me when I doubted myself. He was my ride or die number one fan and he loved me and my siblings deeply. Was he perfect? No way. Did he make mistakes? Hell yes, and some pretty BIG ones. Did we love him less for it? No, because he was our dad. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592196557156-8PP8FYPGAFOTV9W1ZLU4/Lauren+Bobersky.JPG Father's Day 2020 Lauren | Brooklyn, NY What is your dad’s name? Gerard Bobersky What do you miss about your dad? I miss riding around in his truck with him, I miss being able to ask him literally any question that popped into my head and he would know the answer, I miss him calling me by my middle name "Rachel," I miss walking downstairs and seeing him watching TV on the couch, I miss calling him "dad," I miss his support and advice, I miss his poetry. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? A classmate of mine, who had very recently lost his mother, put his arm around me and said: "I tell myself that I would rather have 14 years with her as my mom than a lifetime with anyone else." I feel the same way about my dad. Is there anything else you would like to share? Happiness and sadness are not opposites, and during really celebratory times I can feel both emotions very deeply. I used to think my grief tainted all happy times because I wish my dad was there. I am working on transforming this narrative into an appreciation of how proud he would be of me. Sometimes, I wish people would check in with how I am feeling, even if on the surface it should seem like I am obviously celebrating. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592531169569-5ITHUCZDW1L1HEWJVZ6T/Dana%252BStamos.jpg Father's Day 2020 Dana | Chicago, IL What is your dad’s name? Tom Stamos What’s your favorite memory of your dad? So many. One of my favorite memories is getting caught in a blizzard with him driving up to our lake house in Wisconsin. The roads were so bad, I had to stick my head out the window to keep us from veering into the woods as my dad drove. I wasn't scared because he was with me. When we got to the house, the power was out. So, we made a fire and drank beers and ate cheese and crackers for dinner. We talked and laughed. It seems so simple, but I would give anything to go back to that moment with him. What do you miss about your dad? I miss his smile. I miss how safe and confident he made me feel. I miss how he would tell me that my 'grumpy days' are 'good days' for most people. I miss his dance moves and his grilled cheese sandwiches and his hugs. I think I miss his hugs the most. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish more people would ask about the ways in which my dad and I are alike. Most people don't ask about him at all. I got so much from him, the best parts of him are the best parts of me, too. I am goofy because he was. I only know about baseball because he taught me. My heart holds onto the feelings of others because his did, too. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592534804886-Q3U26M3SESX64R1UC535/Joe%2BPitsor.jpg Father's Day 2020 Joe | Des Moines, IA What is your dad’s name? Deon Pitsor What’s one of your favorite memories of your dad? The last time we went out to eat as a family. It was about 2 months before he passed away from melanoma skin cancer, and he’d just had a steroid treatment that made him feel the most energized he’d felt in weeks. We went out to eat at the best seafood restaurant in town and heard stories about mom and dad’s engagement while laughing over amazing food and wine. It felt just like one of the carefree family meals we had before he got cancer. I’d give anything to relive that meal and will cherish the memory of it for the rest of my life. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? My friend Liz pulled out all the stops in the aftermath of my dad’s death. I have this quirky interest in struggling shopping malls and she organized a whole day trip to a mostly vacant mall in Des Moines called Southridge to help get my mind off of everything happening. I’ll always cherish and appreciate that day at Southridge. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592197456684-6GBZT83TMN0POUXS0NKM/Collett%2BArraj.jpg Father's Day 2020 Collett | Washington, DC What is your dad’s name? William What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My elementary school was designed with all of the classrooms situated on a long hallway with a stairwell at either side. At the end of the day, the parents would stride up those steps to pick up their kids who were waiting in the hall. I always loved this moment because it meant that I could run down that long hallway, with my oversized backpack swinging precariously on my tiny frame, and leap onto his back. (And, of course, I knew all the other kids were watching and jealous.) But most of all, I was excited to jump on his back because it meant we were going to have our daily ‘moment’. Our own secret conference with me whispering in his ear every little detail of my day’s adventures and him sharing the same back about his. I treasured those moments simply as a couple of minutes to be with my dad. What do you miss about him? I don’t think that I appreciated this until I was older, around high school or the beginning of college, but I started to notice how many topics he became an ‘expert’ on just because one of his friends, my mom, or I mentioned them. It was through this pursuit of learning that he really showed his love for others. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592278430718-856LS3ZVRSXAG7Q6D5SQ/Greg+Thomson.JPG Father's Day 2020 Greg | Philadelphia, PA What is your dad’s name? Pete What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Living near Syracuse, New York, my Dad never wanted me to go far away to attend college. But when I first visited Tulane University in New Orleans, I was hooked. When I first left for college and every time I would head back after being home for a break, my Dad would sob. He is a big teddy bear and it showed through his tears. He just wanted me close to home to spend more time together and I miss his hugs. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? On the day my Dad died, the last thing he ate was a bowl of Frosted Flakes for breakfast. A few days before January 28th each year, I receive a package in the mail from one of my favorite people. Inside is always a box of Frosted Flakes. I wake up each morning on January 28th and have a bowl to remember my Dad. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592370857544-TCVSLEFCABOVJC31OIFP/Taryn%2BHye.jpg Father's Day 2020 Taryn | Des Moines, IA What’s your dad’s name? Bob What’s your favorite memory of your dad? He came to visit me while I was living in Boston. It was rare to have one-on-one time together because I have siblings. We went out to dinner, to a bar, and saw a concert. That weekend we had some of the realest, most adult conversations we've ever had. I got to know him in a different way, in a way that was separate from just being my dad. What do you miss (or not miss) about him? His smile and his laugh. Is there anything you wish people would ask you? What was it like to lose your dad? Is there anything else you’d like to share about your dad? He somehow maintained a cheery, upbeat attitude toward his kids and toward life regardless of what he got in return. Even when I was an angsty teen who gave back so little, he always responded to me with unrelenting positivity and kindness. He loved being alive, he appreciated life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592279606871-OZ4XGJCO1QXYIRZY9VND/Courtney%2BArnold.jpg Father's Day 2020 Courtney | Washington, DC What is your dad’s name? Robert L. Arnold, Jr. What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Our long discussions while picking and eating fruit in the summertime! Picking blackberries down in the country near the farm he grew up, selecting the best watermelon and cantaloupe at the farmer's market, picking muscadines from my grandmother's vine. What do you miss about your dad? Him cutting and deseeding cantaloupe! Since he passed five years ago, I've only bought pre-cut cantaloupe slices because the inside with the seeds has always freaked me out. Trypophobia is real, y'all, lol. On a heavier note, I really miss his guidance right now. Growing up in SC, he saw a lot. It's times like right now that I wish I could talk to him, get advice, and hear and learn from his experiences as a Black man in America. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? Remember and acknowledge milestone dates--even years later! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592535104263-PTQ0WDA4HLN7HLOCVC5C/Helen%2BBoyer.jpg Father's Day 2020 Helen | Long Beach, CA What is your dad’s name? Bill What do you miss about your dad? This will be my first Father's Day without my dad and it feels almost unbearable to think about. My dad hung the moon. I miss everything about him, especially his playfulness, his hugs, his unyielding commitment to justice, his voice, his advice, the little doodles he'd draw, and his belief in me. I miss going to basketball games with him, I miss our morning coffee together, I miss our lunch dates, I miss talking about his latest research, and I miss drinking pinot noir with him. I even miss his stubbornness. He was my first best friend. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish more people would ask me about him. Ask me about his life. Ask me about my favorite things about him. I'm afraid of the world forgetting about him. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592535197679-D3DK8ZOZMF5X2QG2QN23/Molly%252BVocino%252B3.jpg Father's Day 2020 Molly | Philadelphia, PA What is your dad’s name? Joe What are some of your favorite memories of your dad? Waking up on a Sunday morning to the smell of my dad cooking corn beef hash, singing along to Sleepy Hollow playing on WXPN. Waking up to a walkie talkie on my pillow and going outside to meet him and my mom on the beach with the dogs on an early morning walk during our annual week-long vacation. Going to the new 24-hour McDonalds at 3 am for a cheeseburger because we could. Being woken up in the middle of the night to come outside and look at the moon with him. Laying on the hammock in our backyard while he played guitar. Learning to sing harmonies together to our favorite songs. Skipping school to go to Six Flags together and riding all of the roller coasters. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592535409167-AOQX4FD311T3038JMYQJ/Carol%2BCadavid%2B2.jpg Father's Day 2020 Carol | San Francisco, CA What is your dad’s name? William Cadavid What’s your favorite memory of your dad? How excited he'd get visiting me in college and exploring campus together. I'd have to make him leave the union or bookstore. I would be so annoyed, probably wanted to go out to eat but he'd rather be browsing a bookstore. Looking back now, it's a fond memory. What do you miss about your dad? His really great and silly sense of humor, he could make anyone laugh. Is there anything else you wish people would ask about him? I wish people asked about him in general. What was he like? What were his hobbies? Once people get over the initial shock and grief, they don't bother to ask anything about him anymore. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592279473640-F8UG8T82PXWZEHGGZCFY/Colleen%2BCass.jpg Father's Day 2020 Colleen | Long Island City, NY What is your dad’s name? Ed What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss the random texts I’d receive from my dad. He had large thumbs and bad eyesight so the texts were often badly misspelled and needed a bit of deciphering. He would text me what the weather was wherever I was, the football game score of my alma mater, or pictures of the family dog. They were mundane but sweet gestures that I’ll always hold onto. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? I was 2 weeks into a new job when my father passed. I took a week off and when I returned to work it felt like everyone was stepping on eggshells around me. No one knew how to talk to a 22 year old who just had her world shattered. No one wanted to mention my dad. But I had a coworker I didn’t know well look me in the eye at my desk and say “I’m sorry for your loss,” and it felt like I could breathe again. My grief was acknowledged. Not just swept under the rug. That coworker made me feel seen. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592194076154-7JYP2VBPI1NHNFCHV1DL/Elizabeth%2BRiley%2B1.jpg Father's Day 2020 Elizabeth | Carmel, IN What is your dad’s name? Michael Cannon What’s your favorite memory of your dad? He would take me to the Children’s Museum as a little kid. What do you miss about your dad? The stories and pictures of his hikes. Being able to call him 24/7 when something needs fixed. Is there anything else you'd like to share? My dad didn’t have a father present in his life from age 13 on, and he did all he could to make sure he was there for my sister and I in all the ways his father never was. His life was cut short at age 61 due to a hiking accident/fall. He traveled out west frequently for work and would set aside extra time during his trips to hike. His first venture was Half Dome with his brother, and his final was Middle Palisade. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592279538446-4DUV9NYWHF9U54H14BIC/Karl%2BSnyder.jpg Father's Day 2020 Karl | Portland, OR What is your dad’s name? John Snyder What do you miss about your dad? My dad had a hilarious, contagious laugh: once he started, he held onto it as long as possible just because he liked laughing so much and didn't want it to end. He was a brilliant, curious scholar and teacher of many subjects. He was creative with words and wrote essays and poetry. He got deeply into whatever he was working on, and when he was zoned in he sometimes couldn't get out of his mind. He taught me how to research answers to all my questions when possible, and how to live gracefully with the unresearchable questions, too. Is there anything else you'd like to share? I'm still learning how grateful I am that, before he died, he taught me by example that masculinity doesn't have to be a toxic force--that it can be playful, and open, and loving, and still be masculinity. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592281401575-DG4TWWAN9R2F2ORQ0YYW/Anne+Nelson.jpg Father's Day 2020 Anne | New Jersey What is your dad’s name? James Nelson What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My favorite memory of my dad is doing fun activities together. He used to proudly coach my basketball and softball teams when I was younger. He also loved playing Nintendo 64 with me, going on the rides together at Walt Disney World, and when we used to go on car rides to Blockbuster together. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss my dad’s bear hugs. After a long day at work, he would come in the door with a huge smile and a big squeeze. I also miss his Butterfly Kisses, just like the song. He used to call me his “Peanut Girl” because I was so tiny. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish people would ask me about him. I wish people would ask about his sense of humor, heroism, kindness, and how much of a devoted husband and father he was. I wish people would ask about how he made the best of each day that he lived. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592371287852-245SIM5T9Y2YH9WL8O97/Jamiyl%2BSamuels.jpg Father's Day 2020 Jamiyl | Queens, NY What is your dad’s name? Neville Samuels What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? My Dad walked out on my Mom and I when I was 10 years old. It hurt me tremendously because it was unexpected. I spent my teenage years without a father, arguably when I needed him the most. I was angry, bitter, resentful. It took 15 years for us to reunite. It was awkward, yet we stayed in contact barely. When I finally began to embrace him again after he met my son for the first time, I learned he was diagnosed with cancer. He died six months later, two months before the birth of my daughter. I miss not having him here. I feel that if I would have made a decision to forgive him earlier, we could have salvaged our relationship before it was too late. Is there anything else you wish to share? My wife convinced me to write about my feelings concerning my Dad in order to heal myself and in turn be a better husband to her. I wrote and released Pass The Torch: How A Young Black Father Challenges the 'Deadbeat Dad' Stereotype, and it was very cathartic for me. It was the first time I addressed the anger and feelings of loss I had in my spirit. The book goes into greater detail about my trauma—the beauty of which is that this story is not mine alone, but that of hundreds of young Black men around the country. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592533754199-3BX0C8W03RPX72JFUAZ3/Kirsten%252BPfenning%252B1.jpg Father's Day 2020 Kirsten | Oakland, CA What is your dad’s name? James Malon What’s your favorite memory of your dad? One of my most comforting childhood memories is the gentle way he would wake me up from my naps. He'd put a hand on my back and say, "Kirsten. Kirsten Marie." My dad never owned a cell phone and was known for just on a whim showing up places without telling anyone he was coming. When I moved to San Francisco after college, he took BART up to the city and convinced my new landlord to let him into my empty apartment just so he could see it and leave me a note congratulating me on the new place. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss his curiosity about people and ideas. I miss our long breakfasts where I'd tell him something new I learned and he'd grill me on the topic. I miss his unpredictable, dry sense of humor where it would take a minute to tell if he was serious or kidding. I miss his support and enthusiasm for all of my career/life pursuits. I miss seeing his face light up when his granddaughter entered the room. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592281732989-KJTZ1QBGIO57L4AKYD8K/Kate+Russell.jpg Father's Day 2020 Kate | Minneapolis, MN What is your dad’s name? John What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss the way he hugged me, his laugh/cackle, his taste in music and interest in music I liked, his breakfasts, his emails and letters, our "Power Lunches," his humor, and his love for all office supplies. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? My dad died by suicide. I wish people felt more comfortable talking to me about suicide (his and in general) and depression. I wish more people would acknowledge his light and dark sides and ask about both. It doesn't make me sad when people bring him up (I think about him every day!); it makes me sad when people *don't* bring him up. What’s your favorite memory of your dad? So many, but one that stands out: We're in his purple Jeep (which he tricked out with blue rope lighting inside) and we're driving along a tree-lined road on Madeline Island, Wisconsin. The wind is blowing past us and we're screaming along to Beck's "Where It's At" as loud as we can. He's dancing and laughing and smiling. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592524549049-3EIRU8VPPUU2LM33FO3T/Eric%2BTapper.jpg Father's Day 2020 Eric | Brooklyn, NY What is your dad’s name? Fred Tapper What would you like to share about your dad? I'd like to share his name was Fred. He was a doctor for 20 years, and transitioned into health food, using his medical degree to help people heal through alternative methods. He was an incredibly likable guy, not without his flaws, but skewed selfless. He taught me about meditation and patience, about seeking out goodness in others. About how deeply your actions can affect those you love despite your best intentions. He taught me about forgiveness, and that it's not about always making life more comfortable, but that it's important to lean into the discomfort. He taught me about how good a tomato is when you grow it yourself. He taught me that you can put a damp dish towel under a cutting board to keep it stable. He taught me how to make tomato sauce, and chicken parmesan, and most importantly how to cook for the people you love. It's different, I assure you. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? He was my go-to when the weight of the world was on upon my shoulders. I honestly miss hearing him say, "Hey man, you're doing great. Just focus on the next right thing." https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592535624498-K06BXUUJQZKSL2IMJGZO/Lisa%25252BGreene.jpg Father's Day 2020 Lisa | Denver, CO What is your dad’s name? David Harris What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss the way he laughed and how when I’d come home to visit he’d put his hands on my shoulders, lean back, and say, “Did anyone ever tell you that you have the prettiest blue eyes?” But he was also so sweet and caring in his own way. I miss everything about him. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? My husband never gave (and still doesn’t give) any thoughts on how I should be grieving or try to put a positive spin on it. Every time I come to him sobbing he simply holds me and strokes my hair. Doesn’t say a word except for the occasional, “I love you. I’m here.” When I talk about my dad he talks about him too. In short, it was and is so helpful that my husband holds space for me and listens more than anything. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592540275067-WEXZNXX1594PGABRE7KQ/Ben%2BHerchenroether.jpg Father's Day 2020 Ben | Boston, MA What is your dad’s name? Dan Herchenroether What’s your favorite memory of your dad? If you walk down the hill from my parents' house, there's a river with railroad tracks running along it. When I was a kid, that was one of my favorite places to go, and he'd carry me on his shoulders down the hill so we could stand by the river and watch the boats go by. In my memory, I feel like we did this almost every Saturday morning. Then we'd come home and he'd make either hot dogs or grilled cheese for lunch. I loved getting to be with him and see what felt like the edge of the world at the time. I wonder what those mornings felt like to him, getting to carry around his little son. Another memory that comes to mind: at the end of his life when I was visiting him in the hospital, I was holding his hand, when he suddenly started arm wrestling me - despite being in the ICU and barely able to sit up on his own. I can’t imagine anything being funnier in that moment. We were all so worried, but he still found ways to make us laugh and bring joy to our last days together. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? A few of his old friends shared stories from their time with him. It was really nice to hear about his life before I was a part of it. I miss having him tell me about his life, so the only I can hear those stories now is through the people who knew him. It gave me a lot of pride too, hearing how much he was loved and admired by everyone. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592535648528-K50OOY51HGSX1AEOF2UH/Angie%252BRuddell.jpg Father's Day 2020 Angie | Denver, CO What is your dad’s name? Jim Ruddell What’s your favorite memory of your dad? When I was in grade school, my dad would take me and my friend Merisha to the donut shop every Sunday. We would get a box of donut holes and drive around singing ZZ Top for what seemed like hours. My dad always treated my friends like family. He had such a generous heart and was a role model to more people than he ever knew. What do you miss about your dad? My dad always knew what to say, without fail, even if it meant saying nothing at all. He is the first person I would call with happy or sad news, if I needed advice or to complain or if I ever needed a comforting voice. If someone hurt my feelings or did me dirty, he would always say, “As your dead old dad always says, ‘fuck em’”. I say it to myself every now and then still. More than anything I miss his open ear and open heart. He was the greatest gift of my life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592282040423-C93LYFFRIKPV98J3PDKO/Dana%2BAmsbary.jpg Father's Day 2020 Dana | Watertown, MA What is your dad’s name? Bruce What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Any special father-daughter time we had, but especially listening to Broadway showtunes or going to see musicals/plays with him. His favorite musical is A Chorus Line. He took me to see my first touring Broadway show – Annie (1997) – when it was on tour in Boston. We even got to meet the cast that night! Even if he didn’t have a particular interest, he would make sure we went. What do you miss about him? When I was little I used to hide under the covers in my parents’ bed. He would call me his little “mouse.” He still called me his “mouse” during his final days when I would lay in bed next to him. I miss his popovers. He would make them to every holiday/special occasion and when we had visitors from out of town. The past few times I have made them they haven’t “popped up” right – I think he’s trying to tell me something. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592524111230-CRNERO4KEODXN20KOFKH/Ilana%2BShapiro%2BYahdav.jpg Father's Day 2020 Ilana | San Mateo, CA What is your dad’s name? Eric A Shapiro, MD What would you like to share about your dad? He was a wonderful and brave person who stood up for what he believed was right, even if it made him unpopular. The way he handled his diagnosis was incredible. His bravery and love for my family was a true blessing. His top concern was making sure that we were taken care of. It took me years to understand what a gift that was. He even planned his own funeral and chose his casket to try and make it easier for my mom. It was so brave and courageous and a true gift that we didn't have to worry about any of that and could focus on our grief. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? A friend called me every day of my father's Shiva to remind me I wasn't alone and that she was with me. Every call she ended it with telling me you don't need to call me back if you don't want to and I'll call you tomorrow. I never picked up the phone, but I looked forward to her calls each day of Shiva because she felt me feel seen and validated in my grief. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592524885591-YERKQOUQ3BF0TF9DOTTC/Halle%2BHuff%2B3.jpg Father's Day 2020 Halle | Minneapolis, MN What is your dad’s name? Barry Huff What do you miss about your dad? I miss having normal conversations with my dad. There are SO many things about him that I miss, but when it really hits me is when I want to pick up the phone and I realize he won’t be on the other side. I would call him for the most random things: in the grocery store, what type of spaghetti sauce should I buy, or in the car to tell him about what my coworker said that day. I miss my dad every second of every day, but I miss our day-to-day conversations and his advice sprinkled in. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you’d like to share? I wish people would ask me what he would say, or I wish they would share with me his opinions and advice he shared with them previously. There are so many important conversations happening right now, and they are not new. I wonder what he would say, and I’m sure this has come up before. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592282233485-5E84G6AS4Y50TKDNXTYO/Stephanie%2BNickerson.jpg Father's Day 2020 Stephanie | Philadelphia, PA What is your dad’s name? Pete Nickerson What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Sharing peppermint stick ice cream sundaes together. What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I think the thing I miss the most is they way he just “got me” - I didn’t have to explain or do anything, we could just be together and be understood. We shared the same humor, and had similar thinking, so we just genuinely enjoyed being together. And his big bear hugs, miss those too. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? Being aware that everyone’s grief journey is different - and can also be evolving and changing all the time. Just because I get one way in the first few months doesn’t mean I’ll feel the same a year later. The most helpful people have recognized that! https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592281631131-R9BQCJNI29ZGNPHZKBWK/Kelly+Simmons+5.jpg Father's Day 2020 Kelly | Attleboro, MA What is your dad’s name? Ed Simmons What’s your favorite memory of your dad? He always retold the same stories of his childhood and I would finish them before he could. "Stop me if I told you this one..." What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss his laugh. I miss our talks. I miss sneaking him beers into the nursing home. I miss him swearing under his breath during a baseball game. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? People held space for me and gave me the room to be a mess. They gave me understanding and patience. Is there anything else you’d like to share? It's hard to talk about him in past tense. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592536349972-EBP8YWLLS88GJ6VNWOFH/Courtney%2BJenkins%2B2.jpg Father's Day 2020 Courtney | Maryland What is your dad’s name? Ken Jenkins What’s your favorite memory of your dad? Reading together when I was very small; running together when I was an adult. What do you miss about your dad? I miss everything about him. His voice, his sense of humor, his love of classic rock, his hugs, the way I could always count on him, the way he took care of friends and family, the pride he took in being a teacher, his constant love and support. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? I wish that people would ask to hear more when I mention a memory of him. I wish they would remember I'm forever changed by losing him. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? "How are you doing?" because it's so vague, and I never feel comfortable opening up because it makes them uncomfortable. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592536179977-AADYCXGO3LIPFACR4WDH/Lauren%2BDoughty.jpg Father's Day 2020 Lauren | London, UK What is your dad’s name? Robert William Doughty What would you like to share about your dad? I will always think of my dad as my best friend, and mentor - that person in my life that I could talk to about anything, anytime. He was always there to listen and support with his wisdom learnt from living many lives and adventures. My dad had so many stories to tell – being an active member of alternative culture in the 70’s, tales of hitchhiking from Liverpool to Morocco and fighting cockroaches in cheap hotel rooms, living in the Seychelles, accidentally finding himself in a deal with local mafia in Madagascar trying to buy a casino, moving to Singapore with my mum (where I was born), Myanmar, and eventually back to the UK as a family. A man who welcomed constant change and challenge, as a way of accepting the unpredictability of life’s events - a just say ‘yes’ kind of person. Something he always used to say to me when I felt unsure on a decision was - “If it doesn’t make you feel at least a little bit nervous, then it’s probably not worth doing!” He lived by the idea to do the things that you want to do, and try not to waste your time doing things you don’t enjoy. Navigating life since he died has been incredibly difficult at times; his loss has left a big hole of grief, which comes in waves. I miss his guidance and calm energy very much, yet when I manage to find strength in my grief moments I try to remind myself that his guidance and energy is actually always within me somewhere, as I am part of him, and his stories. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592536215329-TPS5U36A35JSGCA78NL6/Alexandra%252BMandel.jpg Father's Day 2020 Alexandra | Israel What is your dad’s name? Don Mandel What do you miss (or not miss) about your dad? I miss our weekly calls on Friday where I'd call to say shabbat shalom and then we'd bullshit often for 1-2 hours as I shared about what was going on in my life and my plans for the future. I miss being able to call him for every achievement. It’s hard for me to feel as proud of myself without him being so vocally and clearly proud of me. I miss his jokes and huge laugh, how carefree and chill he was, how I could always lean on him for anything from moral support, constant encouragement and help with anything car/home renovation/practical and logistical in nature. I miss how innately close we were and felt to each other without ever having to vocalize it or make a show of it. Is there anything else you wish people would ask or that you'd like to share? My dad taught me what it meant to be wholly devoted to family, to love big and effortlessly and about how to enjoy life. He had his priorities straight. Is there anything you wish people would not ask? I wish they'd ask more about him and how he lived rather than just how he died. He died suddenly, literally dropped dead one day, and I'm just coming to terms with that not only being tragic but traumatic. There aren't any answers in how he died and there never will be. I'd rather focus on how he lived and loved. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592523967087-JVUP0EKLUJMLFH99YBRD/Samantha%2BLish.jpg Father's Day 2020 Samantha | New York, NY What is your dad’s name? John What’s your favorite memory of your dad? When we were touring college campuses in 2011/2012, my dad would always stop and say, "Wow, this must be beautiful in the fall." He was so predictable, but in the best, most comforting way. What do you miss about your dad? I miss his delicious grilled cheeses, awful dad jokes, and mid-afternoon naps after his early morning golf games. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592532118044-YKCC5OYNSY3TBEKM573C/Joy%2BDonze.jpg Father's Day 2020 Joy | Brooklyn, NY What is your dad’s name? Elmo Donze What’s your favorite memory of your dad? The time he told me he loved me. What do you miss about your dad? I miss the opportunity to connect. What’s something helpful someone did for you after you lost your dad? My two best friends came over the day before I was traveling back to New York from my family’s hometown, and deep-cleaned my apartment and stocked the fridge for me and left a note with all their love. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1592589922804-GY4NDTMHLJ2LCIMSK8H6/Emily.jpg Father's Day 2020 Emily | Lima, Peru What is your dad’s name? Kurt Williams What’s your favorite memory of your dad? My dad took us out on his boat on a perfect Michigan summer day. He used to always say that being on the water was the only thing that made him feel free. We shared that love of water. I always jump in a body of water, no matter how cold. That day was no exception. Lake Michigan is always pretty cold, but that day the water temp was probably 55 degrees. My dad asked me how it was, and I told him it wasn't that bad. So he jumped in. I'll never forget his face when he popped up. It was a mixture of shock (from the cold), betrayal (I wasn't lying!) and a bit of that “I'm going to murder you” stare. He yelled, "OH MY FUCKING GOD. THAT WATER IS FUCKING FREEZING! JESUS CHRIST! Man, I don't know if you got a lot from me, but you got one thing - you talk a lot of shit. And people believe you!" Now, I may have the first bit a little off because I was laughing so hard. But that was my dad. He didn't like something, you'd know. I tried to tell him that jumping in cold water is good for the joints, but he wasn't having it. I know it seems like an odd thing to remember fondly, but I guess you had to understand my dad. The times he would get mad at us for pulling one over on him were secretly the times I think he was most proud of my brother and I. In a way, he saw his best characteristics manifest in us. He loved making people laugh, pulling pranks on them and appreciating the absurdity of life. When he died, my inbox was flooded with messages from people who told me how much his sense of humor meant to them. When our people are no longer here, the best is to think about what remains in us - and I hope I hold tightly to the silly, the absurd and the shit talking I got from him. https://www.thedinnerparty.org/virtualtables daily 0.75 2026-02-17 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/9e7e7b55-598a-497e-896e-801e99574f0c/Janie+Stolar+Virtual+Dinner+Party+by+Mark+Abramson+for+the+Washington+Post.png Dinner Party Tables - Make it stand out Dinner Partier Janie Stolar by Mark Abramson for the Washington Post https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/9e7e7b55-598a-497e-896e-801e99574f0c/Janie+Stolar+Virtual+Dinner+Party+by+Mark+Abramson+for+the+Washington+Post.png https://www.thedinnerparty.org/virtualhosting daily 0.75 2025-08-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/ada24979-8260-40e5-abda-cc86303989b4/HOST+TRAINING.png Hosting - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1613055586384-TN886EWE2DY3AGVGTG6S/Hiww5.2.png Hosting https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/ada24979-8260-40e5-abda-cc86303989b4/HOST+TRAINING.png Hosting - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1613055586384-TN886EWE2DY3AGVGTG6S/Hiww5.2.png Hosting https://www.thedinnerparty.org/book-review-a-hidden-wholeness daily 0.75 2025-08-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1605140795320-EDE3P4UGDHKIL6MM5SPE/AHiddenWholeness.jpeg Book Review: Parker Palmer on "Creating a Safe Space for the Soul" https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1605140795320-EDE3P4UGDHKIL6MM5SPE/AHiddenWholeness.jpeg Book Review: Parker Palmer on "Creating a Safe Space for the Soul" https://www.thedinnerparty.org/book-review-the-upside-of-stress daily 0.75 2025-08-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1605139435215-GRPOGT9J2J4J0L1L8MUE/TheUpsideofStress.jpg Book Review: The Upside of Stress https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1605139435215-GRPOGT9J2J4J0L1L8MUE/TheUpsideofStress.jpg Book Review: The Upside of Stress https://www.thedinnerparty.org/resources daily 0.75 2025-09-26 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615410160224-BK2HCSJR4PFA4KPC1BWS/3.png Resources - … a book for any mood or loss experience. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615410145460-PFIVVAS51MT1P2SY21WF/1.png Resources - … ways to be a better grief friend. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615410173732-OIPLRC0JBBNUNGATWY41/6.png Resources - … ideas on how to survive the holidays. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/299236bf-b645-41a2-9463-3538dc731474/resource+icons.png Resources - … resources specifically for the BIPOC community https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615410169780-OYJTMHSL9Z2C0TD5LI6E/4.png Resources - … a more grief-sensitive workplace https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1625161054421-FZYQ6I3Q9RVB07Q7YGAG/resource+icons.png Resources - … news about What’s Cooking. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615410182075-18WARGLUMJ86BRPR7P51/7.png Resources - … resources outside of The Dinner Party. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615410160224-BK2HCSJR4PFA4KPC1BWS/3.png https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615410145460-PFIVVAS51MT1P2SY21WF/1.png https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615410173732-OIPLRC0JBBNUNGATWY41/6.png https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/299236bf-b645-41a2-9463-3538dc731474/resource+icons.png https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615410169780-OYJTMHSL9Z2C0TD5LI6E/4.png https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1625161054421-FZYQ6I3Q9RVB07Q7YGAG/resource+icons.png https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615410182075-18WARGLUMJ86BRPR7P51/7.png https://www.thedinnerparty.org/rituals daily 0.75 2025-08-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/67cea9a2-4237-4688-8184-994afc62c017/Screen+Shot+2023-02-14+at+5.23.16+PM.png Rituals - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615417366718-C0JJL4F7N0LM0T6UIZYL/Screen%2BShot%2B2021-03-10%2Bat%2B5.57.02%2BPM.jpg Rituals - SEEING YOUR EXPERIENCE REFLECTED BACK https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/67cea9a2-4237-4688-8184-994afc62c017/Screen+Shot+2023-02-14+at+5.23.16+PM.png Rituals - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615417366718-C0JJL4F7N0LM0T6UIZYL/Screen%2BShot%2B2021-03-10%2Bat%2B5.57.02%2BPM.jpg Rituals - SEEING YOUR EXPERIENCE REFLECTED BACK https://www.thedinnerparty.org/grieffriend daily 0.75 2025-08-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/10459f50-447e-4f25-8066-4f4e629b2d9a/Ask+better+question.png being a better grief friend - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615411990394-ORT1LSDH9TA0HKSB5KPU/Screen%2BShot%2B2018-12-08%2Bat%2B7.20.45%2BPM.png being a better grief friend - A DAMN GOOD BOOK https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1619532332192-PPOVRNDIBEUY8ISNR54L/resource+icons.png being a better grief friend https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1624900422727-WQ4W2TPEGXEHR8J309HI/Baby%2Bhand%2Bto%2Bface.jpg being a better grief friend - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615412869748-TGTNVXZ61KCXQCGJSSWN/how+to+be+a+good+friend+%23deaddadsclub.png being a better grief friend https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615413201102-MMF7VFA9WCP6GH1TMN4W/BEST+PRACTICES+mothers+day.png being a better grief friend - SEEING YOUR EXPERIENCE REFLECTED BACK https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615413146341-TLIHVAXWLGKV4OOIQCR5/SIBDAY+how+to+not+suck.png being a better grief friend https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615413222916-AQMBVYLELS00HOZJWTYG/Survivors+of+Suicide+Loss+Day+2020.png being a better grief friend https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/10459f50-447e-4f25-8066-4f4e629b2d9a/Ask+better+question.png being a better grief friend - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615411990394-ORT1LSDH9TA0HKSB5KPU/Screen%2BShot%2B2018-12-08%2Bat%2B7.20.45%2BPM.png being a better grief friend - A DAMN GOOD BOOK https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1619532332192-PPOVRNDIBEUY8ISNR54L/resource+icons.png being a better grief friend https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1624900422727-WQ4W2TPEGXEHR8J309HI/Baby%2Bhand%2Bto%2Bface.jpg being a better grief friend - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615412869748-TGTNVXZ61KCXQCGJSSWN/how+to+be+a+good+friend+%23deaddadsclub.png being a better grief friend https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615413201102-MMF7VFA9WCP6GH1TMN4W/BEST+PRACTICES+mothers+day.png being a better grief friend - SEEING YOUR EXPERIENCE REFLECTED BACK https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615413146341-TLIHVAXWLGKV4OOIQCR5/SIBDAY+how+to+not+suck.png being a better grief friend https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1615413222916-AQMBVYLELS00HOZJWTYG/Survivors+of+Suicide+Loss+Day+2020.png being a better grief friend https://www.thedinnerparty.org/tdpincovid daily 0.75 2025-08-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1617905431294-Z8W0DZQLPGE78OQJE8CT/A+Look+at+TDP+in+Quarantine+%281%29.png Lessons from Dinner Partying in the Age of COVID https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1617905431294-Z8W0DZQLPGE78OQJE8CT/A+Look+at+TDP+in+Quarantine+%281%29.png Lessons from Dinner Partying in the Age of COVID https://www.thedinnerparty.org/resources-outside-of-tdp daily 0.75 2025-10-28 https://www.thedinnerparty.org/newsletter-archive daily 0.75 2025-08-25 https://www.thedinnerparty.org/dosanddonts daily 0.75 2025-08-25 https://www.thedinnerparty.org/siblings-day-2021 daily 0.75 2025-08-25 https://www.thedinnerparty.org/workplace-starterkit daily 0.75 2025-08-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/38159aea-39b1-49d5-aeb0-094e14680fbe/Screen+Shot+2022-03-30+at+8.52.16+AM.png Starter Kit - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/38159aea-39b1-49d5-aeb0-094e14680fbe/Screen+Shot+2022-03-30+at+8.52.16+AM.png Starter Kit - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://www.thedinnerparty.org/bipoc-resources daily 0.75 2025-08-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/5864a43c-7555-42b7-8996-ec6fce3eab96/Emotion+Thru+Motion+Header.png BIPOC Resources - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/5864a43c-7555-42b7-8996-ec6fce3eab96/Emotion+Thru+Motion+Header.png https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1714662108871-X6R5G0VC1GBNZS4O5U1E/LinhLe2024.jpg BIPOC Resources - Dr. Linh Love https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1714662071097-V1FYQ9IDR5RFWNPSDJV1/Yann%2Bx.jpg BIPOC Resources - Ayanna Albertson-Gay https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1714662085148-FR6ZC8S0H0XC23FF44KT/Marilupic.jpg BIPOC Resources - Marilu Shinn https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1714662094184-Y2BQXV922JQ7BPQGVR06/KierraF.jpg BIPOC Resources - Kiera Foreman https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1697134764826-N7LWJL9O5BWIX7LDL8MU/Roshni+Pic.png BIPOC Resources - Roshni Kavate, Artist, Grief Educator and Cook https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1697134765451-ISQ81TQ8KVHZ4IZKVX1K/Rukmini.png BIPOC Resources - Rukmini Poddar, Author and Teacher https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1697134763300-57BB928ZQ1YDTCZ9BLTE/Mangda.jpg BIPOC Resources - Mangda Sengvanhpheng, Artist, Contemplative Care Practitioner, and Guide https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1697134763061-31SC33DFOZTQYBOIVIM4/charlene-c-lam-headshot-pinkBG-400x400+%281%29.jpg BIPOC Resources - Charlene Lam, Curator and Grief Coach https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1678735422249-AQHOPHI1UD8RVHSBJ7II/Vishionary.png BIPOC Resources - Vishionary, Mantra Musician https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1678735465906-FGT4JW2600RRW69QUQET/Organiclilbaby.png BIPOC Resources - Teshauna, Food Scientist https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1678735422232-K42RD46BFJF5IWAU3QCJ/TinaS.png BIPOC Resources - Tina Strawn, Author and Activist https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1678733998224-YWV58B8E3FVD8T4GFICG/download-1.jpg BIPOC Resources - Nathan Moore, Meditation https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1682699949962-E1A2SFHBV2H49QTRWGIH/unnamed.jpg BIPOC Resources - Safiyyah, Herbal Academy https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1678734000686-XJXXHJEE98975OXCEMWT/mar+mouna.png BIPOC Resources - Mar Mouna, I See You Wellness https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1678733998888-0FUO0HVVJ8P69KXYX9J8/download.jpg BIPOC Resources - Didier Sylvain, Life Coach https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1678733277854-5AQ12G0I6Q0GTEIHJYWY/michael-galarraga-lpc-atr-FK7EDHNQT.jpg BIPOC Resources - Michael Galarraga, Intersection Therapy https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1678733277179-BDOM6GPOOZP3D1EOGVLB/25660308_10159748527550383_2906106543291366254_n.jpg BIPOC Resources - Vanessa Lherisson, Black Girl Yoga https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1678733277192-K9F0LU28S57E8GP4WJNO/1626193782561.jpg BIPOC Resources - Tania Mulahttaz, Dancer https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1678733278070-WFALEFLEE6MCZ7X8D11W/download.jpg BIPOC Resources - Bisi, Musician https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1678736170395-2WR7P3BIKOD95DJ8C2VI/0.jpg BIPOC Resources - Kimberly Woodson https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1678735783276-N3HOYG1TGD9W5HR92TJU/lahronda+little.jpg BIPOC Resources - Lahronda Little, Holistic Gathering https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1678735783258-AZAML03JGDUM7HX2XSIW/karen+georgia.jpg BIPOC Resources - Rev. Dr. Karen Georgia A. Thompson https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1678735783956-8EOBL497FRN4XYUKB3VX/alicaforneret.jpg BIPOC Resources - Alica Forneret https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1678732757057-TG8ONH4OSOUBW19P587D/download.jpg BIPOC Resources - Wade Fernandez, Musician https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1678732905994-AWHV4Z83EGEFDZGJ8RFN/Screen+Shot+2023-03-13+at+2.41.32+PM.png BIPOC Resources - Alec_embodied https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1678732830785-ZWASQUIZ90Z2G8EPA9FF/download-2.jpg BIPOC Resources - Black Boys Om https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1678732710163-4BP7UCTC4M3ZEVCQK1A5/download-1.jpg BIPOC Resources - Gratitude Blooming https://www.thedinnerparty.org/the-dinner-party-labs daily 0.75 2025-08-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/55af51be-f338-4e97-9354-e41f1a2e8de3/TPS+Photo+Banner.jpg The Dinner Party Labs 2023 - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/55af51be-f338-4e97-9354-e41f1a2e8de3/TPS+Photo+Banner.jpg The Dinner Party Labs 2023 - Make it stand out Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1580934531782-ERWJZ8I5OV89MYM4F1UW/unnamed-2.jpg The Dinner Party Labs 2023 - The Dinner Party Our flagship program, The Dinner Party, is a platform where 20-, 30-, and early 40-somethings who’ve experienced a major loss can connect to one another, either one-to-one or in small, peer-led groups, with the goal of building deep relationships over time. To date, we’ve connected more than 16K peers to one another. More info. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1674514682786-3NU3VWIMNBHC6D40JWOQ/image-asset.jpeg The Dinner Party Labs 2023 - NYC's Breaking Bread, Building Bonds We’re teaming up with the NYC Office for the Prevention of Hate Crimes on a year-long initiative to connect city agencies in NYC with their constituents to ensure that policy is set with real people in mind. By connecting everyday New Yorkers across difference, we aim to combat a rise in hate crimes and to foster mutual understanding between people and cultures across the city. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1674516235194-3I4TIFIW189F3LJQ8SF5/image-asset.jpeg The Dinner Party Labs 2023 - Silver Thread Public Health Department In 2019, we teamed up with the local public health department to host a series of potlucks in Mineral and Hinsdale counties, CO. Over the course of a year, 151 people in Creede — 43% of the population —participated in at least one supper, and many came to two or more. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1566312130992-LSDGVB692V1SDGPLFPOP/Screen_Shot_2017-11-01_at_1.42.21_PM_ba90b1ec-3c1e-40b1-be03-3bba4182423f_1024x1024.png The Dinner Party Labs 2023 - Obama Foundation Inaugural Summit In 2017, we hosted a 450-person supper for the Obama Foundation’s inaugural summit. President Obama and Mrs. Obama each facilitated a People’s Supper at their respective tables. After some initial concern that the supper would be “hokey,” President Obama requested the Secret Service give him “just five more minutes,” not once but twice, before bringing his table’s conversation to a close. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1674514463341-DSD30FTYDIWOP2TFMHZR/Erie__PA.png The Dinner Party Labs 2023 - Mayor's Office of Erie, PA We teamed up with the Mayor’s Office of Erie, PA, after the city was named “the worst place in the country for African Americans to live”. Over the course of six months, we brought together a mix of 80 racially and ethnically diverse civic leaders for a seven-part series of racial healing suppers. Eventually, what began with people sitting around a table sharing stories culminated in projects like Erie’s new workforce development initiative, which provides capital funding for minority-owned businesses and grants to help businesses provide new job training, and a multimillion-dollar scholarship fund to ensure all Erie students have access to higher education. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1674515376321-CNL3IKC291G3A9TAUIH2/TDP+x+SCRR+SQUARE.png The Dinner Party Labs 2023 - Life After Loss Tables: The Educators' Edition Together with our partners at the School Crisis Recovery & Renewal (SCRR) project, we're working to supporting grieving educators impacted by the loss — and in many cases, losses — of a student. In the Fall of 2022, we hosted a 3-part, 9-hour training for educators and school counselors, examining the manifestations and impact of disenfranchised grief and grief bias, how to form a table and what to consider when it comes to creating a psychologically safe space among colleagues across lines of identity and positionality difference, and what to do when things get messy. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1558040775253-LH129WI3KD8N53MB2JUL/talk-1.jpg The Dinner Party Labs 2023 - Break Free Together When Linda Kay Klein approached us with her new book Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free, we started hatching a way for her to support the community of readers who would come to her saying “#MeToo”. We helped her organization, Break Free Together, create dinners where people who’ve experience sexual shame can share their story, and connect with others in person who’ve been there too. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5b1066184611a029fec8f7c4/1674518814401-O5H1J2Y4FNFO56154PI6/Screen+Shot+2023-01-23+at+7.03.59+PM.png The Dinner Party Labs 2023 - Brave Conversation Resourcers In 2022, we launched our Brave Conversation Resourcers program, in partnership with the Baltimore-Washington Conference-United Methodist Church, in order to equip member congregations with tools to better address conflict. 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